I am such a genius.

No matter how few holidays were regularly celebrated in the Organization, as a general rule, no matter who you were or how odious your personality, there was at least one other member who would be willing to make some kind of effort to honor your birthday every year. No matter what, everyone was bound to get at least one present or card and at least a few hours to celebrate each year. Except one - the one who simply didn't know when his birthday was. And to Demyx's mind, it was an absolute crying shame that Roxas, of all people, would be the only one to never have a birthday. Well, he wasn't going to let that injustice last one day longer. Roxas was off on a mission for most of the day, and would be back later tonight - that made today the perfect opportunity to set up a surprise, with Axel's help and consent. He'd already gone out and bought a few presents, which were now wrapped and waiting under his bed, and he had the kitchen to himself and a chocolate cake recipe he hadn't tried yet. Well, he hadn't made the recipe; he'd tried the cake, though, and he didn't think Roxas could ask for a better birthday cake.

First things first - the assembly of ingredients, mostly to make sure there actually was enough of everything. There was the coffee in the fridge, that he'd asked Xaldin to save out for him...the eggs, the milk...and then the dry ingredients, the cocoa, the flour, the salt, the baking soda, the baking powder...there was the sugar...the vegetable oil, and just a little bit of vinegar, which should be enough...all right, now to get out a pan, and turn the oven on...wait a second, what was -

And in an instant, all Hell broke loose.


Axel heard the banging sound, but paid no attention to it. He had no idea what it was, but his first guess involved someone knocking furniture over; whoever it was could pick it up himself. Wrapping things was never one of his special skills, and there couldn't be more than three hours left before Rox-

Shit. That was the fire alarm.

The wrapping was left to wait, perhaps indefinitely, as Axel raced out of his room to find where the fire was and how big it was. Where was easy enough - the kitchen, a fairly obvious place - and dear God, that was not a tiny little cooking fire. It was more like - "Jesus Christ, it's a gas leak!" he yelled out loud as he recognized that smell, which made Xigbar turn around and run in some completely different direction almost before Axel realized he was there at all. Frankly, Axel was grateful; the fewer people were between him and saving the whole damn castle from burning down, the better. The only person he wanted to see in his way was Demyx, and then only because Demyx was a more efficient firefighter than he was.

The kitchen was an inferno, choked with black smoke and raging heat that even Axel could feel; ducking his head and trying to stay below the smoke where the air was breathable, he searched out the edges of the blaze and clamped down on them, magically blocking the flames from spreading any further. Once he had it all the way contained, he tried to shrink the burn zone, and kill the flames, but as long as the gas was still flowing, it was like trying to mop up all the water from a running faucet...

And then, thankfully, the flow of gas stopped. That must have been where Xigbar went - to turn the gas off - and thank God he did, or else Axel could have been here for days trying to keep the fire down. With the gas flow stopped, he managed to shrink the fire down, banishing the flames little by little, as the smoke began to clear and the room began to cool...soon the table was no longer burning, or the chairs, or the cabinets...and then the fire was gone, while Xaldin cleared the last of the smoke out of the kitchen and Lexaeus dragged someone out from under what was left of the table.

...Oh, God...no wonder Demyx never showed up to help with the fire...


"It's...not that bad," Demyx insisted, a little fuzzily thanks to all the painkillers. "I mean...goin' by what Vexen said...all right, the burns hurt. And all those cuts from the glass. And I cracked a vertebra when I got knocked back into the table - speaking of, that's a new addition to my lifetime list of broken bones. And he wants to keep an eye on me 'cause of the concussion. But other than that...ehhh." He shifted slightly, trying and failing to find a more comfortable position. "Tell Xaldin sorry about the kitchen. I just turned the oven on, and boom."

"Hey, don't worry," Axel insisted, stroking Demyx's hair and failing to keep the worry out of his own eyes. "I mean, considering what happened, you're not hurt that bad, thank God. And seeing as this is you and all, this is nothing. As long as you're okay...compared to that, I don't honestly give a rat's ass about the kitchen."

"You never did anyway, 'cept for the food. But I bet Xaldin does." Demyx couldn't help but smile faintly, thinking about how inept Axel was in the kitchen...of course, now that he'd blown up the damn kitchen, that meant Roxas wasn't getting a cake. Fuck the worlds; why hadn't he smelled the gas just a split second sooner? Maybe he wouldn't have been able to bake a cake anyway, but at least he wouldn't have blown up the kitchen in the process... "When - when Rox gets back...my presents for him...are under my bed. Make sure he gets 'em. And...tell him sorry there's no cake. I tried. But...least he gets presents." He sighed, letting his eyes sag closed for a second - why had he even tried to plan this? He should have just suggested it to Axel and let Axel do the planning. Granted, maybe Axel couldn't plan his route out of an empty room, but maybe Axel wouldn't have blown up the fucking kitchen. "It's so stupid," he muttered, as much to himself as to Axel. "I was just trying to make him a nice cake, and then boom. There goes the whole fucking kitchen."

Axel gave him a faint half-smile, with a definite note of pity; maybe he thought the painkillers were messing with Demyx's head. Maybe they actually were and he just couldn't tell. "Come on, it's not your fault. Unless you actually did smell the gas in time and turned the oven on anyway. Could have happened to anyone, if they didn't smell the gas in time. And the longer it went on, the worse it would have been when it finally blew." He ruffled Demyx's hair again, accidentally brushing the suture line where a piece of flying glass from the oven door had nearly ripped off a chunk of his scalp; Demyx couldn't help but cringe. "Sorry about that. Of course it would just figure that Fori won't be back for three days. But still. Back to my original point. To hell with the kitchen, to hell with the cake; all that really matters is that you're gonna be okay."

"I know. But...Roxas has never had a birthday...I just wanted to make him a damn cake...I had this new recipe, even...never tried it out...and, well...fuck that, I guess." Really, Demyx knew damn well Axel was right. Considering how badly things could have turned out, especially with Fori out of the castle, he'd gotten off downright easy. Vexen had already done what he could for his back, it wasn't having any effects on his spine, his head actually wasn't feeling too bad despite the lingering ache (and the painkillers), none of his burns were that severe, thanks to his luck of winding up on the floor and mostly under the slow-burning table and away from the fiercest heat, and once Fori got back, all the cuts would disappear. But he had been so damn keen on finally giving Roxas a birthday party... "It's not damn fair," he grunted, staring up at the ceiling. "Couldn't the gas have started leaking, like...tomorrow? After I got the damn cake made?"

"Demyx, to hell with the cake. It's not like Roxas won't understand. He's already getting presents he's not expecting; he's not such a greedy little shit that he won't be happy enough with that. Trust me, he'll be happier to see that you're not that bad off than he would be with any cake. Especially when he sees the kitchen."

"I just wanted to give him a damn birthday cake! Just a simple, stupid cake, just because he's never had one before...is that too much to ask?"

"Demyx, for fuck's sake, calm down. To hell with the cake, I said."

"But...Roxas has never had a birthday cake before. He needs one."

"I know. Not least because you won't get off the damn subject. But Jesus. Demyx. You just had...the entire kitchen blow up in your face, and lived through it with no permanent damage. Focus on how unnaturally lucky you are, and forget about the damn cake, got it memorized?"

"But Roxas -"

"But Roxas will be much, much happier to see you in one piece than he could ever possibly be with any damn cake, got it memorized? For fuck's sake, Demyx, I keep trying to tell you - you are ever so much more important than a damn cake. Do you understand?"

"...I know," Demyx sighed, realizing that there was no point in continuing the argument if Axel wasn't going to listen to him. He wished he could roll over without possibly injuring his back further, mostly because he usually slept on his side and was most comfortable that way, but also because he would have liked to symbolically turn his back on the redhead. "I'm also tired. Blame the painkillers...but you might as well go back and wait for Roxas. So you two can have fun and presents and go without the cake, I guess."

"Aw, come on, Demyx, don't be like that."

"Axel, I'm tired."

"All right. All right. I'll leave you alone. God knows you've had a tiring day." Raising his hand as if in self-defense, Axel backed out of the room, as if he was afraid Demyx would jump up and hit him if he wasn't fast enough. It wasn't like Demyx could do any such thing right now if he wanted to, but at least now he could get a little privacy. Sure, tomorrow he would probably realize that Axel was right and the important part was that he was still alive and not in that bad of shape, but for now, all he could think about was that cake.


"You did well, Eight. If not for your prompt actions, the damage could have been incalculably worse. Nine could have easily been killed."

"I know," Axel said - morosely, not sharply as he might have; it wasn't smart to sass the Superior. "I just - did what needed doing. I didn't know Demyx was even in here until the fire was already out." He just couldn't tear his eyes away from the gaping hole where the oven used to be - the entire thing had been blown apart, taking with it the sink, several cabinets, large chunks of the floor and wall, two chairs, and part of the table. It could so easily have taken Demyx in the process...so very easily...how had it not? Thank God it hadn't, but he could have so easily been killed, or injured much worse than he had been... In a state of shock all over again, he picked up a chunk of pipe that had been blown out of the sink during the explosion. That alone could have been fatal, if it hit someone in the head at the right speed and the wrong angle. And yet, somehow, Demyx was still alive. "I swear to God, that man is immortal," he said to himself, setting the shattered pipe down and nudging a piece of broken stone with his toe.

"Well, he needs it, with the kind of luck he has," Xaldin said offhandedly, his focus mostly on the torched cupboards, and on doing an inventory in what was left in the intact cupboards. "Presuming you're talking about Nine."

"Who else would I be talking about?" Axel said, absently picking up the broken stone he'd been kicking a second ago. "I don't believe it. Just trying to bake a damn cake, and then boom."

"Well, that explains how the flour got all over everything." Xaldin opened one of the undamaged cupboards and pulled out a stack of plates that were heavily coated with soot. "I don't know where we're going to wash these anymore...or cook, for that matter. Catering is going to get expensive...and then all these repairs, the stonework, the counters, new cupboards, new oven, new sink..."

"Quite frankly, damn," Xigbar said, from somewhere behind the two - he'd come in, and Xemnas had left, at some point when Axel wasn't looking. "And you forgot new chairs and a new table. I don't think we're gonna be able to repair this one. At least we don't have to replace the fridge and the microwave."

"It could have been worse," Axel said somberly, thinking of his friend lying upstairs in his hospital bed. For all he'd tried to get Demyx off the subject of that stupid cake, he couldn't get his own mind off it now. He'd just been trying to do something nice for Roxas; why did it have to end up like this? At least there was one thing he could comfort himself with... "It could have been a hell of a lot worse."

"I know," Xigbar sighed. "There's a hell of a lot of damage, but at least no one died." He was shaking his head as he drew a finger through the thick soot on the counter. "Xemnas has Lex out looking to see if any other building in this world might possibly have a useful kitchen in it, so we don't have to go off-world for everything until we get this place back together. And Vexen has just asked me to go hunt Fori down and haul him back ASAP. He just wants to make sure Demyx doesn't have any internal injuries he doesn't know about yet. I'll probably be sending Roxas to finish his mission after he gets back -"

"What?" Axel burst out, nearly throwing the piece of stone in his hand at the one-eyed gunman. "Roxas isn't even back yet - he doesn't know what's going on, he doesn't know what's happened to Demyx yet - and as soon as he gets back and files his reports, you're going to send him right back out again?" First the gas explosion wiped out Demyx's cake-in-progress before it was even properly started, and now if Xigbar was going to make it so that there was no chance of a party at all, Axel would - well, he hadn't quite made up his mind yet, but it would most likely be violent, painful, and very stupid to do to a senior member who could put a bullet through your head from basically anywhere in the multiverse.

"No. Jesus. Think for a second, Mr. Hothead McJumpsToConclusions. Even if I can find the little stinker before Roxas gets back, I'm not such an asshole I'd make him go right back out again for a three-day mission. Especially given the circumstances. Even under normal circumstances, unless it was a really urgent mission I was dragging Fori away from, I'd at least let him get a decent night's sleep first."

"...Oh," Axel said, suddenly feeling like an idiot for getting worked up over nothing, especially since the party was still going to happen. "That makes sense, I guess."

"Glad I have your approval," Xigbar said, giving him a stink eye. "I'll be back. Standing around talking doesn't make for much progress on anything." With that, he vanished instantly, presumably to whatever world Fori was in right now. Axel and Xaldin were now alone in the kitchen, and Xaldin, for all intents and purposes, seemed to be so absorbed in his inventory of the damage that he'd forgotten Axel was there.

Well, that was just as well. There was another hour before Roxas was likely to be home, and if he was good, an hour would be long enough.


Demyx hated the hospital wing, not least because he seemed to spend so much time there. It was so damn boring, for one thing, far away from his room and isolated from his friends, out of sight and out of mind and slowly going out of his mind for sheer lack of anything better to do...while Axel and Roxas were no doubt goofing off (since Roxas almost had to be back by now) and opening presents without him and without any cake...dammit, if it wasn't for that stupid gas leak...they could have at least had cake. On the other hand, since from all he'd heard the refrigerator and freezer had been undamaged, they might yet find some ice cream for themselves...

No one ever made a big deal about birthday ice cream. No one really gave a damn about birthday ice cream. The cake was what mattered most. And a cake was exactly what they would not have now.

Why did the damned oven have to blow up today? Why couldn't it have waited until tomorrow? Axel was right, it didn't really matter in the long run, but every time Demyx thought about the cake-that-never-was, he just wanted to cry. He didn't care about his own injuries; he'd been hurt much worse in the past and lived through it. Gods knew he'd had practice dealing with pain. But that was supposed to have been Roxas's cake. Roxas's very first birthday cake ever, or at least since he lost his heart. And he hadn't even managed to get it started. It...wasn't...damn...fair.

All right, ow. Crying wasn't a good idea right now. Hurt too much.

"Demyx...!" Demyx barely had time to look up and respond to the sudden interloper before he was enveloped in a giant hug. That hurt too, but at least Roxas was being careful of his back - Axel must have warned him. "Axel told me what happened," Roxas said before Demyx had a chance to open his mouth. "I saw the kitchen, or what was left of it - Kingdom Hearts, it looks like a bomb hit it. How did you not get blown to bits along with it? On second thought, don't answer that..."

"Eh, it's not like it's a dangerous answer or anything...because I dunno myself." As soon as Roxas let him go, Demyx lay back down, trying to make himself as comfortable as possible. He couldn't help but smile a little, though - Axel was right; the cake wasn't all that important. "Dunno what we're gonna do for food for a while, though. Microwave everything."

"Or have Axel cook it, if he wasn't so inept..."

"Maybe Xaldin could use him as a stove for a while." Roxas laughed out loud at that, louder and longer than Demyx thought the joke deserved. "Come on, Rox...it's not that funny."

"I know, but just the mental image...just picturing Xaldin actually..." Roxas couldn't even finish the sentence for laughing. "'Here, just bend over so I can use your back for a burner...'"

"But then all the food would taste like Axel, you know?"

"Hey! I'll have you sons of bitches know that I taste pretty damn good!"

"Oh, come on, Ax...last time you kissed me, you tasted like whiskey and puke," Demyx said lightly, somehow feeling better than he had since the explosion despite the fact that Roxas was now right here, and there was still no damn cake. "That is just plain nasty, always and forever."

"Well, but, you know, I was drunk at the time, got it memorized?" Axel said uncomfortably, settling himself into the chair next to the bed. "So, I take it this is where the party is?"

"I guess so, if you can call this a party," Roxas said, trying to find a place to sit and finding that Axel had taken the only chair. He eventually settled for the end of Demyx's bed. "What are we celebrating? Yay, Demyx has lived through yet another disaster that would have killed anyone else?"

"Well, we could celebrate that," Axel said with a trademark sly smile, as he retrieved a bag Demyx hadn't seen him carry in from under the chair. "But really, Roxas, wouldn't you rather have a birthday party instead?"

Demyx had to force himself not to giggle at the befuddled look on Roxas's face. "Whose birthday? Demyx's was months ago, and yours isn't for months yet..."

"How about...yours?" With as much dramatic flourish as he could pull off, Axel started pulling wrapped presents out of the bag and handing them to Roxas. "Come on, don't look like that. You don't know when your real birthday is anyway, so today's as good a day as any to celebrate it. Before you say anything, trust me, we had this day picked out well in advance of Demyx blowing up the kitchen." Thankfully, he had the decency not to point out what Demyx had been trying to do when the oven blew up. At this point, it just would have made Roxas feel bad.

"But...why would you...shouldn't you...I mean..." Roxas protested helplessly, turning one present over and over in his hands without moving to open it. "This is...but..."

"Roxas, for Kingdom Hearts's sake, stop babbling and open some presents," Demyx said, no longer wasting time on trying not to laugh. "Because we're allowed to do things like that, just because we want to. Don't question us."

"Um...all right," Roxas said, still looking dazed and confused as he peeled the paper off the gift in his hands. Once he got it open, he still looked as confused as ever, though he was substantially less dazed. "...Knightmare Chess? What is...is this some kind of card game version of chess?"

"In a way," Demyx explained, trying to sit up a little and giving up on that idea in a hurry. "It's like a combination of regular chess on a regular chessboard and a card game...the cards you play change the rules of the game. You can do things like give yourself an extra king, or make your queen move like a knight in addition to her regular moves...there's a card you can play where if your opponent names a particular piece, he has to sacrifice a piece of the type he named...it's like chess designed to give Zexion a migraine, but I thought less-rigid thinkers like us could have a lot of fun with it."

"...That...actually does sound like fun," Roxas said, turning the box over in his hands. "This sounds like something even Axel might be able to play - his total inability to think ahead won't be such a liability when the rules might be totally different by his next move anyway."

"Hey!" All of a sudden, Axel was just coming into the room with another bag, though Demyx was sure he'd never seen him leave. "If I can't think ahead, how the hell would I have gotten this...?" With a slow, deliberate dignity, he set the new bag down in the chair, and carefully lifted out a white box. It was unwrapped, and largely undecorated, but the bakery label on the front told the complete story. "And tell me, what would a birthday party be without cake?"


AN: I always wanted to give Roxas a birthday party. And blow up some part of the castle due to a gas leak.

Prompt: During the story, there is an explosion. A character will prepare for a birthday, but the action goes terribly wrong. A character is resigned throughout most of the story. During the story, a character misunderstands someone.

What with the birthday preparations going horribly wrong and an explosion on the required list together, the obvious thing to do was blow up the oven while someone was trying to bake a birthday cake. Things progressed from there. Also, I found out about the many variations of fairy chess while on a wiki walk yesterday, and Knightmare Chess seemed like something the boys would enjoy.