The door to the room slammed open making him jump and he cursed again, glaring at Sam.

"What the hell Dean?"

He tried to hold the glare but he was embarrassed and he looked away first, "It's none of your business."

"None of my business? … None of my business?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at Sam, "That is what I said Sam."

Sam was pissed and stalked towards him, poking him in the chest, "Are you serious? You do nothing but ride me over me sleeping with Ruby and you-"

He threw off the hand, that enough to make him angry. "Are you kidding? You fucking a demon and me getting fucked by an Angel aren't even close to the same situation!" He realized what he had said and blushed hard, clenching his fists, waiting for Sam's attack back.

"How long has this been going on?" His tone had changed and Dean didn't know why, and it made him nervous.

He crossed his arms, "None of your business."

"Give me something here Dean, you know this is a big deal."

He wished Cas was here now, and scuffed his foot, "And why is that?"

"I didn't even know you were gay."

That shocked him and he jerked his head up, "I'm not."

"Are you kidding me?"

"It's not… you don't understand. It's not guys… It's Cas."

"Cas is a guy."

He rubbed his hand over his face, this is why he had put off this conversation. He was embarrassed… true… but what was between him and Cas was something he couldn't explain. He sat down on the bed, "Can't you please just let it go Sammy?"

"I'm just having a hard time Dean… how long has it been going on?"

Uncomfortably he shifted his weight, "Since…" He tried to think of the first time that Cas had touched him that it lead to more… too many times he had been left aching, confused, and he shrugged, "For a while."

There was silence for a long time and Sam spoke up, "I knew something was wrong when you came back… you said you were fine but... you're letting a guy fuck you Dean, you still think you're fine?"

"I'm not… it's Cas, Sam. Don't you get it?"

He was shaking his head though, looking at Dean with a pitying look on his face, "This is so much worse than I thought Dean… what did he do to you? It must be a … trance…"

Dean was humiliated to feel tears threatening and his voice cracked, "It's not… there is nothing wrong with me. Cas … Cas and me just have this … you don't understand."

"I understand that you trust this …angel more than you trust me, don't you even see the way he talks about you… the way he thinks about you?"

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"He thinks he owns you Dean!"

"He does!"

Sam looked shocked at that, something like fear on his face, "Dean…"

And he got it. He was worried that Dean wasn't himself… that something was broken or lost but Dean tried again, "Cas is… Cas is the only person in the world that takes care of me Sammy. The only one that I don't have to save… whenever I need him… he's there to take care of me."

Sam looked hurt, looked like he was being accused of something, "When haven't I been there for you?"

There was a tense silence, years of bad decisions crossing both their minds. Sam leaving… Ruby … and Dean looked away, "That isn't what this is about."

"I know what I saw Dean, something is wrong even if you don't want to admit it."

This was why he hadn't wanted to tell Sammy, he didn't want to have this conversation, didn't want to have to explain something that he barely understood himself. "Nothing is wrong with me Sammy, why can't you see that." Something crossed his mind and it wasn't fair because he had trouble with the guy part himself, but he snarled out, "Would you be having this big a problem if it had been Anna?"

"It would have made more sense Dean! You can't tell me that I'm just supposed to accept that you and Cas have this… relationship like it's completely normal." He was waving his hands in the air and finally half pointed at the phone, "Have you told Bobby?"

"No." He felt ashamed and he hated that, hated it because it was Cas and no matter what he wasn't ashamed of being with Cas, not when it felt like it did. "No, it's none of his business, it's none of your business."

He ignored Sam and headed to the bathroom, he hadn't thought about it during the argument but it was becoming very obvious to him that he had been fucked, and he needed to get cleaned up. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Can I talk to Cas about it?"

"What?"

"You know… talk to him. Maybe I would feel better if I could… talk to him." He finished lamely, grasping at the words he wanted.

Dean just stared at him, "No."

"Why not? Will I not like what he says?"

He threw up his hands, "I don't need you to defend my honor Sam, I'm a grown boy, I can take care of myself!" He didn't wait for an answer, childishly slamming the bathroom door behind him. He leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. Honestly… that had gone better than he thought it would.