A/N: HAHA! I bet you all thought there wasn't going to be a chapter three, but there is!

:P Okay, I actually have nothing of interest to say, so let's get on with the usual, eh?Thank you to all that reviewed and put me on their favourites/alerts: Aeoris, Bishiman Sephiroth, Happy-Hippy, Jodie, Kim and Allimba.

And thank you to my beta reader; Ma' Crumpet, who is from da ghetto and is down and kickin'. Yeah…anyway.

Dedication: This is dedicated to anyone who has just gone through SATs, is going through GCSEs, A Levels or any other test. Tests are horrible and stinky, but compulsory, (damn!), I hope you are all going to be ok.

Toodles,

MavisClone101 x x

Disclaimer: Anything that is owned by J. is (gasp!) NOT MINE!

Chapter Three

Changing Impressions

We watched Badger attack a blade of grass.

"Anything?" I asked Barty, who was holding the monitor to detect sources of magic from the crup.

"Nope." Badger rolled onto his back and lolled out his tongue.

We paused.

"Okay, how about now?"

"No!" I grabbed the monitor and shook it viciously. It didn't change.

"Great, we got the dud dog." I moaned.

"It's your fault." Barty accused, poking me.

"How is it?" I asked poking him harder.

"Because you picked him!" He said as he jabbed me.

"Well you were holding the monitor!" Jab.

"Oh, is that so?" Jabbety-jab.

"YEAH!" I shoved him forcefully making him fall to the ground with a THUD! Barty knelt up looking scandalised. It's funny how everyday situations go from bad to CATASTROPHIC…

"Oh no you didn't!" Before I could blink he slapped my cheek, eyes spinning inside my skull.

"You can't hit a girl!" I shrieked, "You woman-beater!"

Barty just inspected his nails. "I'm sorry; I couldn't see your gender as your VAGINA FACE was in the way!"

My jaw hit the floor. "That's it, let's go bitch!" I dived for his head (the biggest part of him), attempting to separate it from the rest of his body.

"ARGH! I need that, dimwit!" He screamed.

"Really? Because I thought it was HOLLOW!"

I really shouldn't have said that, I thought as Barty's hoof collided with my face. I clung to the searing pain, gasping when I saw blood dripping from it. "My NOSE! It's BROKEN!" I felt along the newly formed bump in my pride and joy.

The WOMAN-BEATER snorted.

"It's an improvement." He physically recoiled as I warrior-screamed and tackled him.

"No! Mercy, please! You're squashing me!"

Our hands were now flailing in front of us, scoring points as we hit the target.

"STOP!" We heard somewhere above us, "Stop this at once!" I was roughly pulled off Barty and came face to face with Professor Kettelburn.

Seeing Barty smirk wickedly at me, I attempted to make another dive for him but was held back by the bigger and stronger Betty-Lou and Dougie.

"I will not have beatch fighting in my lesson!" The professor fumed.

I eyed Ketteburn weirdly. "Did he just say 'beatch'?"

"Yeah." Barty confirmed, sounding disgusted.

"Ew."

"I will let you go with a warning if you promise never to do that again."

We nodded guiltily and were released from where we were held back. In an instant, we had started battling again, hitting each other in the campest way possible. Seeing my chance, I grabbed a tuft of dark brown hair.

"AKKKK! My hair! My adorable tuft of hair!"

"That's right girly-boy, pray for mercy!"


Madam Pomfrey tapped my nose lightly.

"Episky."

I glared at Barty who was sitting on the bed next to mine, yet mentally praised my handiwork; his arms were badly bruised, one of his fingers turned at a grotesque angle and hundreds of deep scratches gouged into his face and amazingly near his eyes.

Though he had traded me a broken nose, sprained ankle and a bitch slap to sting for eternity, most of the Care of Magical Creatures class agreed that I had totally whooped Bartholomew's arse.

"You can both leave," Madam Pomfrey ordered after fixing our injuries, "Do not come back to me like that again!"

"Don't worry," I muttered, exiting the Hospital Wing, "Next time you'll only have to pack up his corpse."

We headed to DADA in silence. That is, until Barty complained…

"I can't believe you pulled my hair! It took me years to perfect that tuft!" I stopped in front of our destination.

"How are you not gay?"

Opening the door, we immediately apologised for our lateness.

"I was already informed by Professor Kettleburn." Antonia explained, and then screwed up her nose, "He said beatch."

"I know, he said it to us too."

"Ew."


I shoved my way to the Slytherin table, searching out the only tolerant one of the lot. Spotting my victim I surged forward.

"Kawasaki, you bum, give me a hug!" The half Japanese girl grinned and squeezed me suffocatingly.

"Alanis, you fleepin' llama!" Even though I wanted to question her about her latest choice of pet name, something far more serious was adrift.

"Adelle, don't panic but something small and blonde is attacking the left side of your hair!"

"Hahaha," the sixth year drawled, dragging me out of the Great Hall to walk outside on the grounds, "you are the master of hilarity."

I gave her my as-if-I-didn't-know look, which she chose to ignore.

"If you must know, I got bored over the summer. My parents went to Japan to visit my grandparents, without me, so I dyed my hair." She said as she sat down on the stone steps outside. Joining her, I discovered (to the horror of my arse) they were freezing cold.

"Let me get this straight; you were bored, so you dyed your hair blonde?"

"Only a bit of it," Adelle replied, clinging to the clump of said hair, "besides, I think it looks funky with the black."

I rolled my eyes, though I must admit that her hair did look pretty damn groovy.

"I need to ask for your advice," She stared inquisitively. "Seeing as you've probably already done the unit, do you have any good tips on testing a crup's magical ability?"

Adelle smiled. "None that come to mind at the moment, BUT," she rummaged through her her bag, ripping a page from one of her many sketch books and grabbing a quill, "I did read this great book all about crups. It should be in the library close to the painting of Reginelia the Random."

She passed the paper, upon which she had scrawled the title, as the bell rang.

"I'll have to pick it up after Quidditch practice."

"Of course." Adelle remarked with a smirk. "Quidditch waits for no one."


"I don't know what I've been told!"

"I don't know what I've been told!"

"But I know that Slytherin eat mould!"

"But I know that Slytherin eat mould!"

"The Gryffindor team are so poo!"

"The Gryffindor team are so poo!"

"And the Ravenclaw's have no clue!"

"And the Ravenclaw's have no clue!"

"I'm great!"

"1, 2!"

"I'm cool!"

"Shut up!"

"You know," Louise said effortlessly while the rest of us collapsed down on the pitch, "I feel quite horrible doing that. I mean, running around in circles does nothing for my self-esteem…"

Isis snorted. Louise glared at her.

"…But insulting other houses when we have friends there is just plain mean."

"Uh huh," I agreed, "Maybe you should change the lyrics, Barty."

He challenged Louise by glaring at me as ruthlessly. "Shut up, Blondie."

How very dare him!

"Nuh uh, Brunettey."

"I'm Greeny-Bluey!" Louise shouted happily, holding out her hands for high-fives. No one moved. She cowered away.

Barty set us up running laps, Louise doing them with ease, Isis puffing along steadily a little behind her, while I fell to the back plodding along with the beaters, Sophie and Chloe.

"What the hell do we have to do these for?" Chloe panted, "It's not as if I'm suddenly going to lose the pull of gravity and just tramp gracefully along to hit the bludger, is it?"

"Oy, Barf," I halted infront of our crazed seeker, "Can we do some proper Quidditch now?"

"Fudge hole." He whispered, but blew his whistle to start the real work.

Grabbing my Shooting Star, I sped to the three rings at the edge of the pitch, greeting them as old friends.

"Gretel, Phyllis, Matthew, how d'you do?"

I spent the rest of the practice blocking the quaffle sent by Isis, Sarah and Natalie, dodging bludgers while watching Louise and Hayley enviously as they sat their little reserve-butts down and had a whale of a time doing nothing.

By the end of the session we all smelt like we'd bathed in a vat of sweat, died, been brought back to life and smothered ourselves in cheese.

It's at times like that, you thank Merlin for showers.


I knew I was looking in the right section but whether I was on the right shelf was another thing.

Why were there so many books starting with the title 'A Guide To…'?

I looked at the scribble that Adelle had given me. It hadn't changed. Clicking my tongue in annoyance I went around the other side.

Then I saw it. It's lurid green cover burned into my eyes like an evil splotch of chlorine. I felt like it's hard-back cover was thumping my head over and over again. I had been standing on the other side of the shelf for half an hour and it was right there all along, cackling silently at me as my blondeness contaminated my brain.

I reached for my prize, hearing Madam Pince rustle through the maze of shelves. Slowly, the book started to slide out of sight. In my panic, I pounced on it, missing it by an inch and banging my hand instead.

Cursing, I swept over to discover the mystery of the moving book.

No way.

NO WAY.

Grasping MY book, reading MY pages was that conniving, sly, evil, bastard redhead.

"Weasley…" I growled, stomping up to him. "How DARE YOU?"

He raised his gaze and was startled that someone was talking to him, let alone shouting at him.

"FIRST, you steal my thunder, and now my book!" I could feel my cheeks rapidly heating up but I was too infuriated to care. "PLUS you made me hurt my hand. I hope you're happy."

I flounced out, holding my head high.

Stupidity struck again.

I had my head shoved so far up my arse that I didn't look where I was going and toppled over someone.

Who happened to be Louise.

Who was muttering to herself.

Inaudibly.

It was quite frightening actually.

Heaving ourselves to our feet, the small blonde continued to freak me out.

"…Snob…doesn't even know…perm…steal his rollers…" she mumbled manically.

"Louise?" I asked as I waved my hand in her face, "Louise? Lou? OY, FART BAG!"

She stared at me just realising I was there.

"Oh hiya."

"My name is Alanis," I held up my hand separating my fingers, "I come in peace."

Louise pulled her tongue.

"I was preoccupied. Jason is being an arse."

I bit back a retort of; you've only just noticed?

"Awww, hun. You know you'll kiss and make up by tomorrow."

She shrugged. "I guess."

"You'll never guess what happened just now!"

All the way to the Common Room I complained about the carrot top that was thieving everything I had.


It was Saturday, and after a thirteen hour long lie-in I was feeling particularly refreshed from a hectic first week of school.

Sinking into a golden cushioned chair in the Common Room, I let my eyes wander.

Isis and Louise were having a heated debate on whether palm reading was accurate or not. Over in the corner Barty was trying to devise new plays for the team whilst being pelted with paper balls by second years, and various fifth and seventh years were struggling to study as a group of third year girls loudly sang the newest Weird Sister's song.

A rattling came from the window. Isis opened it slightly and Pipsqueak fluttered in through the minute gap.

"How's my gorgeous Pippy?" I cooed. He tweeted sweetly in response, dropping a letter into my lap as he did so.

My friends peered at the purple seal on the back.

"Ooh, it's a federation letter." Isis squealed, plucking it open. I snatched it back.

"It's my federation letter, thank you very much." Isis sulked and pouted. "Don't even think of doing the puppy dog face on me. It won't work; I'm a heartless cow."

I ripped open the letter, unfolding the parchment. It was indeed, a federation letter. It was a letter from the federation I was a part of; F.U.G.I.; Federation of Unique and Gifted Individuals. My best friends were also members of federations; Isis to S.O.S. – w.b.e.y. (Society Of Seers – We've Been Expecting You) and Louise to A.C.I.D. (Amazingly Clever Individuals Division), the wizarding world's equivalent to MENSA.

Dear Miss McKenzie,

I am writing to inform you of a Christmas gathering that will take place on 23rd December this year. This is for federation members only but you may bring one guest to accompany you.

The gathering will be informal and will take place in a hired room at The Leaky Cauldron.

Please return the slip below as soon as possible to tell us if you and your guest (optional) will be attending the gathering, so we can enlarge the room to the required size.

All my best wishes,

Benita Grengaul

Deputy President,

Federation of Unique and Gifted Individuals.

Revel in being unique!

I closed the letter, quickly making up my mind. I rushed up to my dormitory grabbing parchment and ink, and shot back downstairs to lean on the desk.

Heya Pancakes,

How is everyone? Lennie and Bennie? Mum and dad? You?

I've been invited to the F.U.G.I. Christmas party again. Do you want to come? I need to know as soon as possible.

School has been good, even though we had lectures in every lesson about our OWLs. And this guy called Charlie Weasley is an absolute PRAT! He is ruining my life! He took my status as teacher's pet and took the book I was about to get!

Send my love to mum, dad, and the littlies. And Gladdy - enjoy year nine sucker!

Alanis x x

I shoved the letter into an envelope I grabbed from a protesting first year, but he wasn't even using it! And sent Pipsqueak on his merry way to Chester.

Now you may be thinking; "Why is SHE getting a federation letter for unique and gifted individuals?"

That would be because I have an extremely rare magical condition called 'magicae ēluviō', and a person with my condition is called 'magicae horreum' which translates quite unflatteringly into 'magic storage'.

What happens is the magic levels of parents, usually making a half-blood child, fault. Take for example, my mother is a witch and my dad is a muggle, their magical levels faulted when they had me, my mother's magic becoming dominant in little-embryo-me, when they are usually neutral. This gave me a larger amount of magic than most witches and wizards, and I have to be more careful with delicate spells (hence the burned hair incident on the first day back).

There are grades of us. I'm a grade four at the moment which is normal for 'horreum' my age, though the magical community doesn't know much about the condition as it's so rare. There are only three in Britain, me, a forty-something watch maker in Bristol and a very kind, plump lady who lives in Wales. I've seen her at various F.U.G.I. meetings and she even invited me to her house for tea. She's has two dogs and a parakeet and makes the most amazing fairy cakes in- ANYWAY, that's why I'm in F.U.G.I.

Dumbledore explained to me in first year that if I practice regularly I can use my gift to the best of my ability.

Personally, I think it's a pain in the backside, it makes medical forms twice as long and I have to have blood tests and exams to find out my grade every year. It's a tedious experience.

"'Lanissssssssss," Louise moaned, "I'm hungryyyyyyyy."

Isis shuffled along on her knees and leaned her head on my lap. "Me too."

My stomach rumbled in agreement. "I may be slightly peckish."

They grinned, catapulting towards the exit; a statue of Helga Hufflepuff.

Cornelia and Keira were leaning against the wall outside, sensing food was on the horizon. We always go to lunch together on the weekend, it's an unwritten rule.


We clambered down the main staircase and squeezed onto the Gryffindor table, helping ourselves to a plentiful middle-meal.

It was when I was halfway through munching a chicken leg when I noticed him. The glowing embers making his mussed hair, patched jeans, and orange jumper with a big red 'C' on it made it easy to spot him in the middle of a crowd.

And then suddenly, he started walking towards me. And kept walking towards me. Closer, closer until he stopped directly behind me.

I turned, curious to see why he had become stationary.

He was looking right at me.

"Um…" he held a book who's green cover I instantly recognised, "I finished it this morning, and seeing as you were so keen to have it, I thought I'd better give it straight to you instead of risking it being taken out by another person."

He passed it over, the tips of his ears tinged pink. "T-Thank you." I stuttered.

"It's okay," he beamed, obviously gaining some confidence, "I put bookmarks in the pages I thought you'd find most useful, and there are some really interesting facts as well."

I turned the book over to inspect it's spine. This book was thick, very thick, in fact. At least two inches. He read this overnight? Impressive, very impressive.

"Thanks, that's really nice of you." I smiled, even though it pained me to smile at my secret enemy at first, when he smiled back I found it easy.

"Anytime." He trotted back to his small troupe of friends further along the table, who laughed and teased him as he hid his face.

Damn, I thought, I can't get this pigging smile off my face now.

The girls smirked at me.

"What?" I asked. There was a flurry of movement as they all looked down at their plates, though still looking sickeningly smug.

I sighed, knowing what was running through their minds.

At least I knew they were wrong. I didn't. I totally didn't, so don't even bother suggesting it.


Later that night I wrote another note to Gladys;

Gladdy,

At lunch, Charlie Weasley, (the guy who was ruining my life) came up and gave me the book! And he even put book marks at all the important bits to make it easier for me!

And this book is about two inches thick and he read it overnight!

So yeah, he seemed nice.

Alanis x x

Don't bother suggesting again.

Because I didn't.

I totally didn't.


A/N: How was that? REVIEW PEOPLE! That chapter isn't quite as long as the last, but I think it turned out quite well anyway.

Next chapter: A war begins between the Hufflepuff girls and Mindy & Co. Plus, Isis is in for a bumpy ride!

MavisClone x x