Monday 3rd October 1977

Sirius and Remus didn't tell anybody about what had happened outside the library on Saturday night. They didn't even really talk about it, just stole moments to make out – between the shelves while Peter and James studies on the other side of the bookcase in the library, on the stairs to the boys' dormitory before bed, in hidden corridors between lessons. The whole thing felt like it might break if anyone looked it too hard. Remus had wanted this for so long, and convinced himself that he could never have it…

"Remus?" Lily waved a hand in front of his face and he jumped.

"Sorry, distracted… did you say something?" He tried not to look too guilty.

"Just wondering if you'd done question seven yet," she tapped the Arithmancy questions lying open on the desk, and he turned his attention back to their work.

"You've been very out of it the past few days, everything alright?" Lily asked as they left the library for dinner.

"Yeah, just lots of work." He reminded himself that no one their age was actually a capable Legilimens, and so no one could tell just by looking at him, but no matter how much he reasoned with himself he couldn't shake the feeling that everyone knew what was going on somehow.

Everyone else was already at dinner when they arrived, in the middle of yet another Quidditch conversation, although Remus thought conversation might be too polite a word for the enthusiastic shouting coming from the middle of the Gryffindor table.

"We haven't even played a match yet, what are they on about?" Remus asked as they sat down.

"Oh it's the League, not Hogwarts Quidditch. Some team that usually loses almost every match beat one of the favourites for the season, I can't tell if they're excited or angry about it," Elizabeth explained, rescuing a jug of pumpkin juice from James' arm waving. "How are things with you Remus?"

"FUCK, this changes all the guesses for our World Cup team," Marlene swore violently next to her.

"I'm go-" Sirius caught Remus' hand under the table, stopping him mid word "- good, great, yes." Lily gave him an odd look. Next to him, Sirius was still loudly debating Quidditch, jabbing at the copy of the Daily Prophet sports section spread in front of them and giving absolutely no sign that he was secretly holding hands under the table. Remus took a second to reflect on how ridiculous it was that he was getting worked up about this like he was thirteen or something, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling a bit.

Lily was still looking at him suspiciously, so he let go of Sirius' hand and turned his full attention back to the non Quidditch half of the conversation. Or he tried to anyway. Sirius' hand was now on his knee and honestly Sirius Black's hand was resting on his knee what was his life coming to.

Dinner passed in a blur. They claimed the good seats by the fire in the common room, and Sirius couldn't actually touch him here but he kept looking at him and somehow this was twenty times worse. Remus made his excuses early, headed up to their dorm and opened a book.

He only had to wait ten minutes before the door opened and Sirius walked in.

"Did you just blush and stammer all the way through dinner because I held your hand?" was the first thing out of his mouth.

"I do not blush!"

"You are adorable. The absolute cutest thing in the world. It is you," Sirius laughed at Remus as the door opened again.

"Alright Pete – you haven't left James and Lily unchaperoned have you?" Sirius asked.

"No, Marlene's still down there," Peter said, hunting for his pyjamas.

"Well, we'll probably hear it if they blow up the common room," Sirius shrugged.


Friday 7th October 1977

The bubble of happiness that had settled in Remus' ribcage lasted almost a week before all of a sudden, it burst.

"Does anyone know the next full moon date?" James asked casually one evening on their way to the kitchens.

"Twenty seventh again I think – it's a Thursday, anyway," Sirius replied absentmindedly, already thinking of food. Remus felt as though a lead weight had dropped into his stomach. The airy, can't stop smiling, 'Sirius likes me back' feeling vanished in an instant. He followed them into the kitchen, enthusiasm gone.

Somehow, in the past few days Remus had – not forgotten, exactly, but not really registered the fact that he was a werewolf. He was dangerous.

"Would sir like a chocolate éclair?" a voice squeaked from under the platter of pastries next to his knees.

"Ah, no, thank you," Remus said distractedly. There was a gasp of horror from Sirius.

"Did Moony just turn down something with chocolate on?" he said in a disbelieving tone.

"I'm not hungry."

"Bullshit, can we get some of those for later please?" Sirius asked the house elf. James was already holding an entire treacle tart.

"Is there any of that swiss roll left over from lunch?" Peter asked hopefully, the pockets of his robes already full of cakes.

The Marauders left the kitchen ten minutes later and headed back to Gryffindor tower carrying enough food for a feast, taking over one corner of the common room for a violent game of Exploding Snap.

"Ow!"

"Victory is mine!" Sirius shouted gleefully.

"I'm going to get my self-shuffling pack, you're cheating!" Peter rubbed at his fingers where the cards had exploded.

"Champions don't need to cheat Wormy, I'm just that good," Sirius called after Peter as he disappeared up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

"You're studying with Lily again tomorrow, right Moony?" James asked, leaning back as the two cards he had propped against one another blew up.

"Probably, why?" Remus took the pack of self-shuffling cards as Peter returned to his seat, dealing another round.

"Well I need to talk to her about Head stuff, double check some – SNAP!" There was a groan as the cards exploded again.

"Not a match Prongs, try wiping the soot off of your glasses," Sirius snorted.

"You realise that we actually work, right?" Remus laid down his next card.

"It'll only take a minute, come on," James pleaded.

"You just want to show off and look responsible by doing your job on the weekend. Can't you see her at breakfast?"

"No, then it looks like I've just remembered because I saw her instead of-" another loud bang issued from the card game "- actively seeking her out."

"Like a stalker?" Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Like a responsible Head Boy who she should be friends with!"

"You think about this way too much," Sirius muttered.

"SNAP – that's my win, fuck you Padfoot."

"Anyway, since when has friendship been your primary goal with Evans, hmm?" Sirius asked.

"Since the alternative was probably never seeing her again." Sirius 'aww'ed in response.

"You know what, as fascinating as this no doubt endless analysis of everything Lily has ever said to you this year is going to be, I think I'm going to get an early night. We've got far too much homework to do tomorrow," Sirius complained, standing and winking at Remus behind the others' backs. Remus refused to meet his eye.

"How about a game of chess, James?" he asked, turning away so he didn't have to see Sirius' face fall.

"Oh you're going down this time Moony," James grinned, pulling the board out.

Two games of chess (two nil to Remus) and a truly staggering house of cards (which defied stereotype by collapsing when the self-shuffling cards decided to shuffle just as Peter placed the final piece, rather than exploding) later, they dragged themselves up to their dorm. Sirius was in bed facing away from the door, not moving, but not breathing deeply enough to actually be asleep. Remus ignored the guilty knotted feeling in his stomach and got ready for bed. It was for the best if he avoided Sirius – they couldn't do this.


Saturday 8th October 1977

Remus gave up on sleep early that morning, after a fitful nights rest interrupted by visions of Sirius, scratched and bleeding – or worse, Sirius bitten – because the werewolf didn't care who he was and berating himself for getting caught up in the whole thing and letting it get that far. He ate breakfast alone, and was working in the library for nearly two hours before Lily arrived.

"Morning," she said cheerfully "Have you started on Herbology without me?"

"Yeah, sorry, I was up early," Remus pulled his textbook closer to make space for Lily.

"I was kidding Remus, you okay?" Lily frowned. He looked even more tired than usual, she noticed, and his hair was sticking up at odd angles.

"Fine, fine, why wouldn't I be?"

Lily shrugged, and let the subject drop.

"So, does this mean you can tell me everything that I need to know about mooncalf dung?" she said hopefully.

They worked through the Herbology essay and (after glancing around to check that Madam Pince was nowhere in sight) practiced wand movements for Charms.

"I think we're probably due a break," Remus said after Lily accidentally caused red sparks to fly out of the end of her wand in frustration.

"Coffee?" Lily perked up considerably.

"You're insatiable," he laughed at her, but he was getting up to go anyway so Lily just stuck her tongue out at him. She examined the small scorch marks on the table, and wondered what the chances were of Madam Pince not noticing (probably not great). She shifted her books to cover it.

"Well don't you look guilty Evans?"

Lily jumped and turned to glare at James, who was leaning against the nearest bookshelf nonchalantly.

"No, because I haven't done anything wrong. What are you doing here anyway?" she asked.

"It's a free world, I'm allowed in the library!"

"No you aren't, actually. February last year?"

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that… They lifted the ban anyway, apparently the Head Boy should be allowed in the library – and it's not like we did and lasting damage," James protested "But anyway, I was actually looking for you."

"Why were you looking for me?" Lily said warily. Any member of the Marauders (other than Remus) looking for her usually spelled trouble.

"Just wanted to get you up to date on the ball stuff, and sort a date for the next Prefects' meeting?"

"Right. Okay," she said. James was looking at her expectantly still. "The ball stuff?"

"Oh, yes. You're going to love this. The theme – and it took them three weeks to decide on this, mind you – is the stunningly original Winter Wonderland. They want a decent band and the seventeen year olds to be allowed alcohol – I told them to argue that one with McGonagall themselves if they were really into hopeless cases – but all the decoration stuff seems reasonably harmless, as long as you ignore the fact that three foot long pointy icicles are basically weapons. They're pushing for complicated food rather than a set menu or buffet type thing, and every single decision causes an hour long argument and I kind of want to stab myself In the eye when they get going, why did I ever think for a second that you'd given me a nice job?" James let out a long suffering sigh and collapsed into Remus' empty chair.

"You have the job because me and Remus are doing the rounds this term," Lily thought for a moment "Okay, you should run a plan past Professor McGonagall at the end of the month before people start organising things that don't get through, and everything should be basically done by the end of November for the official decisions but it almost certainly won't be. We can go semi decent on the band – danceable, but not well known. Force them into agreeing on the buffet sometime, there's a full Christmas lunch first. And three feet pointy icicles are a staple of Hogwarts Christmas decorations, what are you talking about?"

"Oh I know your plan Evans, I can see right through you. This is the year you're finally going to off me isn't it, straight through the heart with an icicle!" James exclaimed dramatically. Lily laughed.

"Damn, you caught me Potter. I'll have to think of a new plan. Is poisoning the punch too clichéd, do you think?"

"I know you're desperate to be rid of James, but do you mind not killing all of us in the process?" Remus had returned with two mugs of coffee.

"You're all that's good in this world, I would obviously warn you," Lily assured him, taking her mug and clutching it to her chest.

"And I think that's my cue to leave," James stood.

"Prefects meeting Thursday mayb-" Lily started to suggest.

"Quidditch practice," James and Remus chorused.

"Can we do it after Hogsmeade then?"

"Sure, I'll spread the word – one last question though?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you going to do about those burn marks on the table?" James grinned, and walked off whistling. Lily swore violently.


Sunday 9th October 1977

Sirius was pretty sure that he was mad. He'd spent most of a day on confused and disappointed, and an evening on sad, but now it seemed that Remus was still avoiding him. When Sirius woke up – earlier than usual, hoping to catch Remus before breakfast – his bed was empty and cold, clearly long gone. And he didn't really know how to handle being mad at one of his friends.

He stayed in bed until James woke up, and gave him about thirty seconds to adjust to the waking world before talking.

"Hypothetically speaking," he began. James groaned and rolled over. Sirius continued, undeterred "if there was someone you liked, and who you thought liked you back, and they started avoiding you… what are you supposed to take from that?"

"Can't this wait?" James mumbled into the pillow.

"No?" Sirius said in an uncharacteristically small voice. James sighed and sat up.

"Does this have anything to do with the letters you refused to show me all summer?"

"Maybe. Hypothetically." There had been nothing in those letters that wasn't perfectly platonic (at least, not the ones that Remus had sent), but he'd wanted to keep them to himself anyway for some reason.

"Well, hypothetically, how sure are you that they like you back? Because maybe they just don't?"

"Pretty sure." Sirius was fairly sure that you didn't go around kissing people you didn't like. Not if you were Remus, anyway.

"Well I don't know Sirius, I'm not a mind reader."

"What am I supposed to do?" Sirius said sadly, adding "Hypothetically," a moment later.

"You could always try, I don't know, asking them?"

"Did you ever consider that one with Lily?"

"Right, that's officially the end of helpful friend time, your advice privileges are suspended."


Sirius moped and pretended to do his Transfiguration homework all morning. Every time he tried to focus he was distracted by questions like 'why' and 'what did I do wrong', until by lunchtime he'd come up with every possible explanation and felt more miserable than ever. He headed down to the Great Hall for lunch, and froze at the sight of James, Peter and Remus sitting together. Before he could decide what to do, James, who was sat facing the door, spotted him and waved him over.

"You alright Sirius?" Peter asked as he sat down.

"Oh, he's just pining because his hypothetical boyfriend is avoiding him or something," James said, shooting him a look that clearly said 'payback'. Remus stiffened. He hadn't looked at Sirius once.

"What hypothetical boyfriend?" Peter looked confused.

"You've got to be less cagey about these hypothetical romances Padfoot," James shook his head, smirking.

"Thanks Prongs, you guys understand why I went to him for advice on how to cope with hopeless situations right," Sirius said sweetly.

There was a pause where Remus would usually tell them not to start, or say something to distract them both.

"Good stew today," Peter offered after a moment.


Saturday 15th October 1977

The first Hogsmeade weekend of the year was clear, bright and unseasonably cold. Hogwarts students clustered outside the castle in cloaks, hats and scarves, preparing to brave the walk to the village. Marlene, Sirius and James were waiting just inside the Entrance Hall – Marlene for Patrick, Sirius and James for Peter.

"I swear, if I catch any of you near me today you won't sit on a broomstick for a month," Marlene threatened them, smiling brightly and scanning the bustling hallway.

"Yep, got the memo thanks," James winced "We only want Zonko's anyway, how do you have time to go on a date with the amount of work McGonagall set us yesterday?"

"You just have to get your priorities in order – unfortunately, McGonagall ranks somewhere below Quidditch and cute boys."

"Well, it's your life. What makes you so certain we'll ruin your date though?" Sirius asked, grinning. Marlene raised her eyebrows at him.

"Fourth year, you snuck a Dungbomb into Jacob's pocket when he went out with Jenny and sat in the corner of the Three Broomsticks laughing while he tried to explain that he really didn't know where the smell came from. Fifth year, whatever you lot were plotting for Eliza when she went to meet Mystery Guy and you tried to follow her and got quite spectacularly hexed. Sixth year, the whole debacle of each and every date Lily went on with Andrew… do I need to go into any more detail?"

"I'd forgotten about poor Jacob, but fair point. I swear on Wormtail's life, we're only going to Zonko's and then coming straight back, so unless your idea of a good first date involves starting a prank war you should be safe," James reassured her.

"And here he comes now; you kids have fun – stay safe!" Marlene ignored Sirius in favour of Patrick, and left with a quick wave over her shoulder. Sirius sighed.

"Why is everyone but us young and happily in love Prongs?"

"Hey, I'm doing just fine thanks, don't drag me down with you and your oh so secretive heartbreak."

"If that's what you call doing fine then I'm not sure I want to see your heartbreak," Sirius snorted.

"She actually speaks to me now without us having a screaming match. She talked about stabbing me the other week and she was actually joking Padfoot, everything is going swimmingly!"

Sirius stared at him for a second.

"Wow, you really need some perspective on this whole Lily thing don't you?"


"How come you're not going to Hogsmeade with the others?" Lily asked, watching Remus across their usual table in the Arithmancy section.

"We always work together on Saturdays," Remus didn't look up from his Defence Against the Dark Arts notes.

"By that logic we'll always miss Hogsmeade, and I'm sorry Remus but I don't love you enough to skip Christmas shopping."

"Not even if I bring you coffee?"

"Not even if you bring me a bathtub of coffee, stop trying to change the subject," Lily covered his work with her hands, forcing him to look up.

"I have a lot of work, I don't need Zonko's, what's your point?"

"They're your best friends and you've been avoiding them like the plague all week," she pointed out.

"No I haven't!"

"That's true. You had lunch with Peter, and even talked to Potter about Quidditch for an hour which frankly shows a terrifying level of dedication… So really, I mean you're avoiding Sirius."

"Why would I be avoiding Sirius, I don't know what you're talking about," Remus tried to prod her away from his notes.

"Does this have something to do with his 'hypothetical date' thing?" Lily asked carefully. Remus looked away, examining the nearest bookshelf. "I know it sucks, but you can't just stay away from him because he likes someone else," she continued sympathetically.

"Are you saying that you would have an emotionally balanced and sensible reaction to James dating someone else?"

"Oh come on, you can't just pull the Potter card every time you want to derail the conversation, it doesn't even make any sense! I don't like him, he can date whoever he wants!" Lily scowled.

"Sorry, fine, can we just… not, then?" he sighed.

They worked through the rest of the day, Remus trying to put Sirius out of his mind.

"I need to stop leaving all my Transfiguration until the weekend, this human stuff is killing me," Lily complained "Is it time for dinner yet?"

Remus checked the time and groaned.

"Well, no… it might be time to leave for the Prefects' meeting though?"

"We missed dinner?!" Lily swore.

"We're probably going to be late as well," Remus was shoving books into his bag.

"No running in the library!" Madam Pince hissed as they passed the front desk.

"Seriously?" Lily whispered to Remus "This is not running, I haven't run since primary school. It's speed walking, if you're feeling generous."

They were the last two to arrive at the third floor classroom. Unfortunately, sneaking in to a meeting you're supposed to be running was easier said than done.

James was sitting on the teacher's desk at the front of the room, mediating an argument that seemed to be about whether tinsel was too tacky for the Christmas ball.

"Excellent, now we actually have a Head Girl we can start!" he called, looking relieved to see her. Lily made her way to the front of the room. "I would have started without you, but it's pretty hard to do the rota without you or Remus," he added more quietly when she reached him "How come you two missed dinner?"

"Got caught up in Transfiguration, it's a bit of a hopeless case to be honest," Lily admitted "Professor McGonagall says I'm nowhere near ready to start practicing the big stuff on actual people."

"Neither are most of the class, don't worry so much Evans."

"You guys are basically done with the whole of human transfiguration," she pointed out.

"Let's just say every once in a while bending the rules has its perks."

"So you've been breaking the rules and practicing unsupervised," Lily seemed more amused than annoyed.

"Something like that. Should we get started then?"

"The sooner we're done, the sooner I can eat," Lily clapped her hands to get the attention of the room.

"Right everyone, this is only a quick meeting to organise Prefects' rounds for the rest of the term. Paper is on the table, sort it out among yourselves, you all know how this works by now." Lily stood back and watched everyone dive for the paper.

"You know, if you want a hand with Transfiguration…" James trailed off. Lily glanced up to see him looking down at the floor.

"Um, thanks. Remus is helping me though, it should be fine."

"Ah, but you see, I'm actually better than Moony at this," James grinned at her.

"Modest too," Lily smiled despite herself.

"Hey, it doesn't happen very often, let me have this one!"

"I bet it's just because he wouldn't practice dangerous transfiguration with you," said Lily.

"Your lack of faith in my abilities wounds me."

"If I say I believe in your powers of transfiguration will that make you feel better?" Lily asked, trying not to laugh.

"Oh, I meant my ability to persuade Remus to break the rules," James smirked.

"What are you two laughing about?" Remus had escaped the fight over the rota and come to join them at the front desk.

"Nothing for you to worry about my dear Moony," said James.

"See, that does not make me worry any less. I got us Monday nights, eight till twelve, alright?"

"Yeah that's good, now what are we doing about food?" Lily asked. Remus and James exchanged looks.

"Meet you back in the common room Lily?" Remus offered.

"More super-secret Marauder things?"

"Yep, we'd be ruined if I told you. We won't be long!" Remus and James headed towards the main staircase, while Lily made her way to Gryffindor Tower.

Half an hour later, she looked over the top of her book to see them climbing through the portrait hole carrying an honest to god picnic basket.

"Come on, upstairs, best we don't flaunt the rules in the open," James motioned towards the staircase to the boys' dorm.

"You always do it in the open though," Lily said, following them up the spiral stairs and through the doorway labelled 'Seventh Years'. James made an odd sound and Remus snorted with laughter. "Oh come on, what are you, thirteen?"

James had never really noticed quite how much of a mess their dormitory was until Lily Evans was sitting on the edge of Remus' bed. He discreetly kicked some dirty underwear under his own bed, and debated whether he could hide his pyjamas before Lily spotted them (they had snitches and broomstick on and James had loved them dearly until he realised that a girl he liked might see them). Fortunately she was quickly distracted by Remus producing a bowl of stew, a plate of chicken, a big bowl of potatoes and vegetables, rice, some kind of pasta, plates and cutlery. Lily gaped.

"There is no way all of that could fit in there," she said, reaching for a plate.

"See Evans, there's this little thing called magic, it can do wonderful things," James teased.

"Oh whatever Potter."

The room fell silent as they all ate.

"I'm never going to move again," Lily groaned, lying back on the bed. James made a sound of agreement. To their astonishment, Remus reached into the basked again.

"But there's pudding!" he exclaimed, producing chocolate sponge and a jug of custard, still warm.

"You can't possibly still be hungry," Lily looked away from the food.

"Oh, he can if there's chocolate involved," James said without even looking up to check.

"You're all insane," Lily declared.

"What did I do?" James said indignantly.

"… This is your second dinner Potter; you're just as bad as he is!"

"These are perfectly normal eating habits; you just have a weak stomach."

"Oh fuck you Potter," Lily said, but she was laughing.

"In your dreams Evans," James winked at her, and her laughter turned to spluttering denials. Remus shook his head at them.

Twenty minutes later a group of very confused second years heard a girl's voice coming from the boys' dorm, shouting "NOT EVERYTHING I SAY IS AN INNUENDO!" followed by a lot of hysterical laughter.


"When did it become eleven already?" James sat up, looking at the clock in surprise.

"About ten minutes ago, but keep your voice down, Lily's asleep," Remus said quietly, adjusting the blanket over her.

"Do you reckon we should wake her?" James whispered, looking down at Lily fondly.

"Probably, she should really sleep in her own bed."

"We could take-"

"No, we cannot. She'll hex you until you can't walk if you carry her anywhere," Remus said firmly. James sighed. Before they could move to wake Lily up though, the door bust open to reveal Sirius and Peter.

"Is that Evans in your bed Prongs? I did not see that one coming!" Sirius said loudly.

"Technically it's my bed," Remus pointed out, and they both froze. It was the first time Remus had spoken directly to Sirius since… well, everything.

"Honestly Padfoot, we've lived together for six years and you still don't even know who's bed is whose," James ignored the tension, or was possibly too busy pretending not to be embarrassed to notice it.

"'m going to bed, night." A bleary eyed Lily got to her feet and stumbled towards the door, ducking straight under Sirius' outstretched arm where he leant against the doorframe. There was a moment of silence.

"Did she just steal my blanket?" Remus said.


A/N: A day late with this one, sorry, I didn't get a chance to upload yesterday. Anonymous, thanks for the review!