AN:/ i own nothing! not even skandar... :( but please, R&R and enjoy!


England

Susan sat at home, back from America, waiting for Edmund and Lucy to come home. But for now, to occupy herself, she was reading William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. She had read the story a million times before, but it's been a while since she last read it. In the beginning of the story, she began to cry. For others, this wasn't the part to cry at, which would be the ending. Yet for some reason, she cried at the start. Romeo and Juliet's parents wouldn't let them be together. Aslan wouldn't let them be together. She couldn't be with Caspian.

A lot of things reminded her of Caspian. Every time she saw people kissing, in reality or story, she thought of him. But mostly, she was reminded by Lucy's pictures. Lucy was very artistic; her drawings looked as if they were real.

Lucy drew Susan pictures of Caspian after they had come back the second time. She drew one picture of Caspian holding his sword in one hand and Susan's horn in the other. His arms were crossed over his chest and the background had Aslan, the Telemarine Castle in the distance, the Pevensie siblings and a bright light that gleamed on his sword. There was a picture of Susan and Caspian. They were just looking at each other, smiling, as if flirting through looks. Caspian was holding a crossbow in his hands. Aslan's How was in the background. This was the target practice, Susan remembered. She didn't know how Lucy knew about that, but she didn't bother to ask. There was another picture of Caspian, just looking. His eyes were glistening and there was fire behind him. In the background, besides the fire, was the mural of the Great Lion and the Stone Table. This was when he almost brought back the White Witch. And Susan's favorite picture of all was she and Caspian kissing. She loved this picture, but what she hated was that she cried at the memory of it.

Then, Lucy and Edmund came home. Peter and Susan greeted them with big hugs; they were the only ones in the house. Once their bags were set in their rooms, they told their older siblings that they had visited Narnia. Peter and Susan looked at each other, but were eager to hear what happened. They sat by the fireplace and started talking about their adventure on the Dawn Treader. They talked about how Narnian, but beautiful the ship was. They spoke of Caspian and how he set peace through Narnia. Her siblings looked at her, and she blushed slightly. She remembered that they were there, watching the romantic scene between she and Caspian. They also mentioned that their cousin, Eustace Scrubb, had tagged along. He was a nuisance at first, but in the end, he turned out to be a good lad. But when it came to a certain half-star, they had trouble explaining.

"Susan, Peter. There's something we have to tell you." Lucy said, but was looking directly at Susan.

"What? What is it?" Peter asked.

"Well, on Ramandu's Island, there was this lady- "

"Lady? Lu, she was a half-star. And she was drop dead GORGEOUS!" Edmund said.

"What lady?" Peter asked.

"Lilliandil. She's a half-star that helped us on our journey. But the thing is…" Lucy said, her voice fading off.

"But what?" Susan asked.

"Well, we don't know how to explain it but- " Edmund started before being cut off.

"But what?" Susan said, more forcefully.

"Caspian fell in love with her, and she with him." Lucy whispered. Susan's siblings looked at her. It took her a while to realize with they had just said. He fell in love with someone else, while she was still in love with him? She was on the edge, tears were blurring her eyesight.

"Susan, you have to understand, it's been three years. He needs a- " Lucy started before Susan ran upstairs to her room.

She couldn't believe it. After fighting side-by-side with the guy and putting all her emotions into that kiss, he just moves on in an instant. She was so frustrated and upset. She needed to forget, forget all of it. She needed to forget Narnia and all that inhabit it. All her friends, memories, even Aslan had to be erased from her mind. Cause if Narnia were to be in her thoughts, so would he. So, she tore Lucy's pictures off her wall and exited her room. She walked to Lucy's room, her siblings watching her from downstairs. She entered Lucy's room and slammed the pictures onto her desk and walked back to her room. Susan slammed her door closed and started to cry. She lied herself on her bed and cried. She cried for thirty minutes, if it's possible. And when her crying ceased, she just stared up at her ceiling, hands lying on her stomach. Then there was a knock on her door.

"Come in." she said, still looking up at the ceiling. The door opened and Lucy came in.

"Are you okay, Susan?" Lucy asked.

"I'm fine, Lu. Why would you think otherwise?" Susan asked, trying to hide the hurt in her voice.

"Well, partly because you stormed off about… that." Lucy said, not wanting to anger her sister more by saying his name. "And I just found these in my room." Lucy held up the pictures she drew, they were slightly torn and wrinkled. Susan looked at Lucy and hurt showed in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. It's just that "

"It's fine, Su. I know what you're going through right now. But do you still want me to "

"No thanks. I'm good without it, now."

"Okay. Well, do you know what we are going to eat for dinner?"

Susan laughed slightly, before looking at Lucy. "I'll cook dinner, want to help?"

Lucy nodded and then left. Susan looked back at the ceiling and sighed. This was the start of losing memories.

Susan got up and headed downstairs and began cooking. She cooked with Lucy while Edmund and Peter played a game of chess. They all thought that she was fine and happy, but behind that happy face was a teary woman who could no longer feel love.

While they ate, she didn't talk. Her siblings made a lot of conversation, but she made no participation. Dinner ended pretty quickly, and Peter and Edmund continued their chess game. Susan was going to wash the dishes, before Lucy stopped her.

"Why don't you get ready for bed? I'll clean up down here." Lucy said. Susan nodded and then headed upstairs.


The next few days were quiet ones. Susan came out of her room, but didn't speak. The only thing she would answer to, were questions.

One day in her room, Lucy and Peter came to talk to her.

"Hey, Su." Peter said.

"Hi." was all she said, not taking her eyes off a book.

"Do you want to come to the park with us?" Lucy asked.

"No thanks."

"And why not?" asked Peter.

"Because I want to read." Susan said slightly lifting her book.

"Susan, all you ever do is read. You need to go outside, or at least spend time with us."

"I will go with you next time. Just leave me alone." Susan said. Peter looked at her and shook his head, before leaving. Lucy lingered, before following. She closed her door, but not all the way.

"Do you think Narnia did this to her?" Susan overheard Lucy asking Peter. Susan didn't hear an answer, believing a shrug was his answer. Susan was left in her room, with no one to cry to.


Lucy was on her way to the bathroom when she heard some muffled sounds. They were coming from Susan's room. Lucy opened her sister's door and found Susan sitting on the floor, crying, and dark red scratch marks were on her arm. Lucy ran to Susan's side and embraced her.

"Susan, what's wrong?" Lucy asked

"Nothing!"

"Don't lie."

"It's not important anymore!"

"Peter!" Lucy shouted, still embracing Susan. Peter came running into the room. Edmund soon followed.

"Oh, Susan." was all Peter could say and he moved to embrace her. Lucy got up and stood by Edmund.

"What's the matter?" asked Edmund.

"We don't know." Lucy replied.

"Su, what's wrong?" Peter asked.

"It's nothing!" Susan cried.

"Meaning? OW!" Edmund shouted, clutching his arm.

"No time to joke, Ed!" Lucy said, shaking her hand.

"That hurt!"

"Well you deserved it!"

"Will both of you SHUT UP?" Peter shouted. "Susan's crying and you're just BICKERING!" Edmund and Lucy looked down, both feeling sorry.

"Su, tell us what's wrong so we can help." Peter said, gently.

"You won't understand! It hurts too much to tell."

"You have to stop hiding your feelings from us. What is it?" Lucy asked.

"You know what it is! Ever since we left, it's been like this!"

They all looked at her, understanding what she meant.

"I'm sorry, Susan. But there is no way we can go back." Edmund said gently.

"I know! I know. But I can't stop thinking about it! I tried to forget, forget it all! But I just can't! I can't forget…" and she continued to cry. She wiped her tears away roughly.

"You can't forget… him." Lucy finished. Susan nodded, and continued to cry into Peter's shoulder.

"That's it? That's it! She's making us go through HELL because of that? Because of HIM! I thought it was just about Narnia, but now he's involved!" Edmund exclaimed.

Susan picked up a hard covered book and threw it at him. The book hit is upper arm.

"OW! Is today 'hurt Edmund day' or am I a beat up doll?" Susan laughed for the first time in days.

"Oh, and what's so funny about me getting hurt?" Edmund asked.

"It's not that. It's just the fact that you called yourself a beat up doll." Peter said. And with that said, Peter and Lucy were laughing as well. Edmund was certainly getting pissed off.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Ed. You at least got Susan happy." Lucy said.

"No, no I'm not happy. I may be laughing, but I'm not happy." Susan got up and walked out of her bedroom door.

"Where are you going?" Edmund asked as they followed her downstairs.

"I'm talking a walk." she replied, grabbing her coat.

"Where, may I ask again?" Edmund said as they watched her.

"I don't… know where exactly."

"Susan, it's raining. I'm not letting you go out there." Peter said.

"I'll take an umbrella then. I can take care of myself." Susan said, grabbing an umbrella. "I need time to think. A lot has been on my mind. Tell mum when she comes home from work that I took a walk." And Susan was out the door.

Susan opened the umbrella up and walked along the streets. She walked passed houses and parked cars. She didn't mind the puddles, but paid attention to honking cars that passed by. She walked over to the dock and sat underneath a tree. She closed the umbrella and sat in silence. She didn't care that her clothes would get wet due to the wet grass. Susan watched the rain drop into the water, creating small waves in the ocean, as small tears fell down her face. "That farewell kiss which resembles greeting, that last glance of love which becomes the sharpest pang of sorrow." Susan could relate to that quote by George Elliot. That kiss she gave Caspian was so that she wouldn't have to wonder what it would be like to kiss him. And her last look at him soon began to hurt her from the inside.

"What is wrong, my child?" Susan looked off to her side and saw the Great Lion.

"Nothing, Aslan." Susan replied. Aslan lied down next to her.

"Then why are you crying?"

"No reason."

"Do not lie to me, Susan." Susan stayed calm and looked into his amber eyes.

"I miss Narnia." she said quietly. "I miss the Eastern Sea, the Great Woods, Cair Paravel and all the Narnians. But overall, I miss Caspian. I don't understand why you had to separate us."

"It was for the best. You needed to live here as he needed to rule in Narnia."

"Couldn't we have stayed there, then? Live in Narnia like we did before?"

"Things don't happen the same way twice, dear one."

Susan looked down, wringing her hands.

"How long has it been, since Lucy, Edmund, and Eustace have left?"

"About three months. Since you and Peter have left, it has been three years."

"Has he, married her yet?"

"Not yet. But the time is coming." Susan just nodded and silent tears ran down her face.

"In time, my dear Susan, you will feel better." Susan was about to say something, but he was already gone.

She stayed underneath the tree for about an hour. As she walked home, she didn't bother to open the umbrella, she just let the rain fall onto her head. But she didn't refer England as her home. Where she belonged was Narnia.


AN:/ and that's the end of chapter 3! please, i need the reviews! if you want me to continue, review! i need 10- 20 reviews to update to chapter four! i'll take alerts now, i guess. cause at first i couldnt get it cuz my mom wanted me to use her email, but i switched it to mine. but i need reviews! and thanks to those who reviewed the first few chapters! i really appreciate it. and if you alerted, thanks! but 10-20, anything between that range or higher would be nice. ok, thanks! next chapter is back in narnia!