Author's Note: Once again, thanks to all those who left reviews. Shorter chapter this time in comparison, and it takes place directly after the end of Chapter 2.


Mikasa leaves shortly after with parting words for Annie to continue on with Eren as usual lest he becomes concerned enough to ask directly. Right now, she's only lying to him by omission, by not telling him things he never asks anyway. But if he asks and she tells him nothing is wrong when something clearly is, that's a plain lie, and there is no going back from there. As for the rest, time will settle it. Mikasa tells her that if she's committed to her relationship with Eren, if her attraction to her is physical and nothing else, then it will soon fade away. She just needs to give it time. But she wonders about that. Because Mikasa doesn't know about the fire still flicking around her belly sparked by her offhand compliment. Because Mikasa doesn't know how easy the very thought of her touch turns her on. Because Mikasa doesn't know how after she leaves, Annie goes to sit on the stool she sat, still warm from her body heat. Because it's been close to five weeks now since their fight, and it's only getting worse. When does it stop?

Not the sixth week. The sixth week is filled with an anxiety she cannot place. She goes to see Eren as usual, she even has sex with him. Only now, with Mikasa in the know, with Mikasa actually not minding it, it feels like an unsaid permission for her to use Mikasa in her head if she needs help along the way. She reasons to herself that it's better than faking it. That Eren might notice, it would hurt him, but having someone else in her head is unnoticeable, and hurts no one. It helps that she never speaks anyone's name during sex. Not before, and now, not ever. Eren asks her once about it, because he says her name all the time. She just smiles and kisses him, moaning louder as a response, making more varied noises, but never his name. She doesn't want to take the risk she'll slip out the wrong name.

The anxiety heightens when she gets home at the end of the day, if she gets home. It lingers in the space between the living room and the kitchen, and it lingers on the last stool in the corner of her dining table. She tells herself what Mikasa told her. Give it some time. It'll go away. But she doesn't believe it, she cannot believe it, not when Eren opens his door and she sees him dressed for going out instead of in his comfortable house clothes and he tells her—

"Ah, Annie. Mikasa just gave me a call a while back. She isn't coming over for dinner today, so it's just the two of us. Let's go out to get something."

—and all she feels is disappointment. It's not even masked in anything else. She feels the disappointment so keenly as though she had come here to see Mikasa instead of Eren. Which isn't right. Shouldn't be right. So she nods at him agreeably and lets him lead the way. She knows what Mikasa is doing, of course. It's the same thing she tries to do the week before, before Mikasa's sudden appearance at her door throws a wrench into things. Distance. Removing herself from the equation. Giving it time. So she puts Mikasa out of her mind and commits to be in a relationship with Eren. And because she does like him, and she is compatible with him, she effortlessly enjoys it. Getting invested in shared passions, laughing at his jokes, walking around aimlessly after food, it is easy to be with him.

The problem isn't being with him. The problem is being without him. It's laughable how quickly, once they part ways at the subway station, he slips from her mind. It's like sex with him, feeling nice in the moment, but it doesn't build. It doesn't stay. By the time she closes the door of her apartment, Eren is nowhere to be found. All that's left within is a hollow emptiness. And a desire to see a person she's not dating. She nurses her disappointment by sitting on that one stool, which is all she can do. Because she doesn't actually know Mikasa outside of Eren. She doesn't know where Mikasa lives. She knows her job, but not where she works. She doesn't even have her number, and bitterly, she knows she shouldn't even want to know those things. But she does, and she can only pull up her hoodie over her head at the turmoil it makes her feel.

The seventh week isn't better. It would be good enough if it didn't get worse, but it does. She starts to sit on that one stool everyday like it's her favorite seat, and while on it, she thinks. She imagines what Mikasa was thinking as she sat here listening to her saying she's sexually attracted to her. She thinks of what Mikasa says, what Mikasa thought of when she says, that Annie is aesthetically pleasing. She wonders if that means anything more than just words. If it means that Mikasa would find her pleasing to masturbate to, or if she's done it before. If Mikasa is into women. Apparently, she didn't learn from her last rabbit hole of thought regarding Mikasa, for after giving consideration to that thought, she could ponder on nothing else. There's a saying, isn't there, something that goes 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? Well, maybe not heart for her, but definitely body. Absence makes her libido stronger.

There's a part of her that feels shitty, that recognizes how messed up it is that despite it all, she still goes out with Eren. It even becomes harder to maintain the pretense while with Eren for once when he left his phone unlocked on the table as he goes to the washroom, an intense urge to open up his contacts and find Mikasa's number overwhelms her. She doesn't even know what she'll do with it, she's quite certain she'll never actually use it, but the urge flares up anyway. Times like these, she wants nothing more than to come clean, to tell Eren exactly what's up. It may not change things, but at least it'll assuage her guilt, she won't have to feel like Mikasa is a dirty little secret. But then she remembers what Mikasa asks of her, understands the strain it will put on their relationship because of her, and so she keeps silent.

Armin shows up in place of Mikasa on Sunday. She expects it somewhat, because they're 'giving it time'. But logic doesn't stave off her disappointment. He brings with him a big pot of home-cooked paella that he picks up from Mikasa's place while relaying her regret of not being able to join due to unfinished work. It's clear from both the men's faces that the excuse is strange and of course it is. Being so busy she can't join a dinner yet having enough time to cook a meal for three? Regardless, the dinner proceeds and it is markedly different than when Mikasa is there. Armin joins sometimes, but this is the first time Mikasa doesn't. And while Eren and Mikasa never talks much, the subjects usually being her asking about his well-being which he finds irritating, or him asking about the food since he can't cook, he talks enthusiastically with Armin about practically any subject under the sun. They try to include her, Armin more than Eren, but there is a certain chemistry to them that she finds hard to follow and after a while it becomes almost bothersome to engage. She eyes the empty seat in front of her next to Armin, wishing that Mikasa is there. They could sit in silence together. She could stare at her.

She helps Armin with the dishes after dinner while Eren gives Mikasa a call to check in on her, and she realizes her opportunity.

"Say, Armin," she starts, and he hums at her. "Is Mikasa with anyone?"

He raises his eyebrows. "Is Mikasa with anyone? Why do you ask?"

She shrugs as casually as she can. "She didn't show up last week either, so I just thought that instead of work, she might be seeing someone."

It's a plausible excuse and she sees in his face that he buys it. "Oh, I didn't know she didn't come last week too. That's strange."

"Right, so I thought you might know if something else is going on."

It strikes her then that she never really thought about if Mikasa is in a relationship. She gets a general sense that Mikasa isn't, and her question is more of a precursor to the actual thing she wants to ask about, but now that she's brought it up, she wonders. She certainly doesn't know Mikasa enough to trust that her sense about Mikasa is right.

"Hmm, I don't know. Mikasa doesn't really talk about her relationships. I don't even remember her ever expressing interest in anyone save Eren all those years ago."

Probably no then. It's hardly believable that Armin wouldn't know. His answer however, doesn't bode well for her next question. He probably truly doesn't know this one. Rinsing the final plate clean of soap, she places it on the drying rack and slowly wipes her hand on the cloth.

"Is she into women?"

Armin laughs, but he doesn't chide her like his laughs implies. "I've never actually thought about her sexuality. What makes you think that?"

"I've got a good gaydar." Which is true. But she adds for credibility. "Reiner and Bertholdt are gay. They taught me the clues."

"Really? What does your gaydar say about me?" he asks, grinning.

Seeing his good humor, she answers in kind. "That you're gay."

He laughs again. "Right you are." Then he turns around, dishes done, and prepares to head out of the kitchen. "I think Mikasa likes who she likes, if she likes at all, whatever they are."

Nothing he tells her isn't anything she suspects already, but his judgment as Mikasa's closest friend is what she wants. And to know that his judgment agrees with her fill her with an indescribable lightness. She follows him out to the living room, and then Eren comes into view, still on the phone.

He smiles at her and Armin, moving the receiver slightly away from his mouth. "Hey, thanks for doing the dishes!"

It feels like something pops then. Like a bubble. Or maybe it doesn't pop, but it moves from her chest where it's light, to her throat, where it's tight. She swallows with difficulty, her eyes flicking from Eren to Armin and then back again. And the reality smacks her in the face. Eren is her boyfriend. She likes him. But all those things she asks Armin, her gratification at his answers, there is only one reason for that. And it is not mere curiosity. She feels bad for Eren, she knows it's unfair to him. To take his hand so easily yet be more interested in the person he's on the phone with. But the guilt is short lived, gone the moment he is out of sight. The desire stays. That's the only constant lately, it seems.

She considers then, really considers for the first time, breaking up with Eren. Because she really does like him, and because she believes he is a good person, an admirable person. He deserves better than someone like her. Someone who will actually treat him right. And when she wakes up Monday morning warm all over, a familiar wetness between her legs, she knows it's too far gone. The last vestiges of the dream leaves her when she rolls over and buries her head in her pillow, all details concerning what, when, and how instantly disappearing. But she does remembers who. She remembers who. That's the only thing that matters. And she is far past 'giving it time'.

The next day, she seeks out the who the only other way she knows. It's a better way too, if she thinks about it. With a train and a bus. And then she camps outside the door, squatting down against the wall next to it as she waits. It takes a while, because she's here early, but eventually the door opens and the who steps out. Alone.

Mikasa's first reaction is surprise, but she must see something in her face, for her eyes quickly hardens. And for a flickering moment, it even seems like she wants to pretend not to have seen her and walk on. Or maybe that second part is her imagination.

"Annie...what are you doing here?"

Annie shoots up to her feet, flexing her legs to get the blood flowing, glad for the pinprick sensations distracting her from anything else. "I want to talk to you."

The ends of Mikasa's mouth crinkles, like her jaw tightening, and then she's walking away. "Are you over your thing already? In case you didn't notice, I was trying to stay out of your sight."

She spots Mikasa's jet black car sitting alone in the corner of the parking lot. Knowing her direction makes it easier to keep ahead of her. "It's not working. That's what I want to talk about."

"Well, you cutting it short by coming here certainly ensures it wouldn't work."

Annie's not sure what sets her off. That Mikasa effortlessly overtakes her with those long legs of hers, or her condescending tone. "Dammit Mikasa! Can you not be infuriating for once?!"

Mikasa stills, her eyes wide, clearly taken aback by the outburst. Annie takes the opportunity to move in between Mikasa and her car, staring right into those steely gray orbs, daring her to keep walking. But Mikasa doesn't, and she concedes by dropping her gaze.

"All right," Mikasa exhales heavily. "Let's talk."

"Privately."

She sees an eyebrow twitch, and then Mikasa looks around the empty lot. "There's no one but us here."

"Fine. You want me to say it right here? Cause I will. But it's going to take a while, and if you later regret that we spoke in such an open space, if someone comes around and overhears, that's on you."

There's a flash of something in Mikasa's expression then. Anger, perhaps? But she seems to think better of it and instead sighs again. Her voice when she speaks, is quiet. "I'll send you home. Come on. We'll talk in the car."

The walk to the vehicle is uncomfortably silent and for the final time, Annie contemplates whether she really wants to push through with this, if it's worth it, or if she should just leave. Mikasa frustrates her, that is clear. It only takes two sentences before Mikasa is pissing her off. But when she opens the front passenger seat door, she slips in without hesitation because her opinion of Mikasa never mattered. She has always disliked her. Yet she desires her all the same. If she leaves now, the frustration will pass, and she will be left wanting again.

Once in the car, Mikasa doesn't say anything. She just starts the ignition and begins to drive. She doesn't prod Annie to start talking, she doesn't make any indication she's listening, she doesn't even seem curious as what Annie wants to say. She just keeps driving. Fast too. The past two times she's been in Mikasa's car, Mikasa has been nothing but a conscientious, law abiding driver. Now, she's toeing the speed limit. Annie has a sinking suspicion it's because Mikasa has figured out what she wants to say, and is hoping Annie won't say it. Maybe Mikasa can't retract the offer of sending her home, but she can make the journey as short as possible. But Annie didn't come all this way just to lose her steam. She doesn't need Mikasa's permission to speak. If she goes home without saying anything, it's not like the problem will go away. It will only prolong her suffering, and Eren's. She's doing this for both their sakes.

"Mikasa."

Fingers grip the steering wheel.

"Fuck me."

She knows she could have used better words, made it sound not as crass, but at the end of the day, they all mean the same thing. She picks the one that Mikasa cannot misconstrue. And the reaction is instantaneous. The car veers to the left, exiting off the freeway into an unfamiliar road before Mikasa pulls it over completely to the side, pulling the hand brake up with a creak of force.

"What the hell did you just say?"

The words come out over gritted teeth, but Annie refuses to be cowed. "You heard me."

Mikasa whirls on her then, full on glare, but Annie can see the confusion from the arch of her eyebrows. "Do you know what you're saying? You're dating Eren! My brother."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Then why would you ask me that?"

"Because I can't stop thinking of you!" In the small confines of the car, her exclamation bounces off the walls and rattle nerves. She takes a deep breath and undoes her seat belt so she can turn her body to face Mikasa fully. "Look, this giving it time thing, and this distance, it's not working. I tried, but it's worse now than it was two weeks ago. I keep thinking of you, even when I'm with Eren. Yesterday, I even dreamt of you and I just—"

Her words stick to her throat as she suddenly realizes just how humiliating it is to be admitting this to Mikasa, and how this must make her look.

"And you think the best solution to this is to ask me to fuck you?" Mikasa replies incredulously. "How does that...? That's messed up. We don't even like each other."

Annie bites her cheek not to flinch because everything Mikasa says is true. "I want you to fuck me. I don't have to like you for that."

"Don't have to—" Mikasa pulls a face, not finishing her sentence, but she turns away before Annie could discern what it is. Disgust? Disbelief? Whatever it was, it is gone when Mikasa heaves a sigh and leans back on her seat. "No. The answer is no."

She can't say she expects anything else. So she nods. Swallows hard. "Mikasa," she calls, and she waits until Mikasa finally rolls her eyes to glance at her. "Please." She lets her plead sit between the two of them, lets Mikasa see how pathetic she's been brought down to, lets it loosen the hard line of Mikasa's jaw, and then she continues. "When I asked you to fight me all those weeks ago, it wasn't a spur of the moment thing. I've been thinking about it ever since Armin told me that you do fight. It was all I could think about. I needed to test myself against you. And then I did. We fought. And after that I stopped thinking about wanting to fight you."

"Because it turned into wanting to fuck me. That's when it started, isn't it? Because you got accidentally aroused?"

Annie blinks, never actually having made that connection. Could it be that's what it is? A different form of the same desire? "I guess that's right...but the point is that it went away. I don't want to fight you anymore. Maybe it's the same for this."

"Annie, oh god," Mikasa groans exasperatedly. "How can I be sure you won't just want something else after that? And if it you don't, what if you also don't stop at once? What if you want more? This isn't like wanting to fight me, which has nothing to do with your relationship with Eren. But now you want to have sex with me. That's cheating. You want to cheat on him. And you want me to be accomplice to that! How can you even ask me that?"

Mikasa looks truly horrified as she says her piece and Annie closes her eyes, slumping back against the door because she's right. She knows it even in her head, but saying it out loud really makes it clear just how wrong all this is. "I know. I had to try. Sorry."

Mikasa sighs, sounding tired, and then she shifts the gear into Drive. "I'm going to pretend we never had this conversation. Put your seat belt back on."

"It's all right," Annie says quickly, her hand reaching out to grab Mikasa's wrist on the gear. "I'm breaking up with Eren."

There's a huff, exasperation mixed with anger, as Mikasa pushes the gear back to Park and then pulls her hand from Annie's grip. "What? Why?"

"Do you really think I should stay with him? The way things are right now?"

"You love him. You only want to fuck me. Is it really worth breaking up for?"

"I like him," Annie corrects, "and I know it's not fair to be with him like this. He deserves better."

"He loves you."

Annie swallows hard. She sees the truth of it in Mikasa's eyes. Mikasa isn't bluffing. Which means, Eren told her that. It hasn't even been a year since they've met, and to her, it's much too early to be saying 'love'. It's intimidating. "Then all the more I don't want to lie to him. I don't love him. I don't even think of him anymore. You shouldn't want him to be with me."

"But you like him."

She nods. "I do. I really like being with him, and I want to stay with him, if I can. But I've thought about this, Mikasa. There are only three options now," she says as she looks closely at Mikasa's expression. Mikasa doesn't say anything, but there is the slightest nod of acknowledgement. "One, that we continue on like this. Maybe, like you said, in time I will get over this and all will be good. Or maybe, I don't get over it, and I will start to resent being with Eren. Either way, I can't do this. I can't stand it, and I don't want to hold it in long enough for things to turn sour." She pauses for breath, and hold up two fingers. "Second, I break up with him. He will be free to find someone better, and I won't need to pretend anymore."

Here Mikasa stiffens a little. "Okay. And the third?"

"Third, I tell Eren exactly what is going on. Everything," she says, watching Mikasa's eyes grow wide. "And if he still wants me, I will stay with him. But I think we both know what full disclosure will do to the both of you."

"I didn't even do anything," Mikasa hisses.

"I know, it's all me. But that isn't going to matter to him, is it?"

Mikasa narrows her eyes and the exasperation dissipates in favor of just anger. It's the first time Annie has ever seen Mikasa showing this much emotion. But whether Mikasa is angry at her, or the truth of her statement, she doesn't know.

"I promised you I wouldn't tell though. So this isn't an option either. Not unless you allow me to tell," Annie finishes softly. "So realistically, option two is my only choice."

"Breaking up with him?"

"Yeah."

"If that is really your only choice, then why did you ask me to fuck you?"

"That's an alternative," she answers slowly, feeling the anger permeating from Mikasa. "Because maybe, maybe, we fuck, and I stop feeling this way. Maybe I'll be satisfied, or it sucks so much I no longer want it, whatever. Then there won't be a need for any of those options. We can move on, I'll stay with Eren, he never needs to know."

Mikasa makes a disgruntled noise. "But I will always know. And you will always know."

"That's fair," Annie agrees. "and you can refuse as you have. Just know that it leaves me to break up with him, or you to let me tell him what's going on."

Mikasa doesn't reply immediately, but when she finally does, it is preceded by a scoff as her voice loses all of the anger from before and turns to cold fury. "You're threatening me?"

"No," Annie bites back. "I am asking you to help me. I don't want to break up with your brother, Mikasa. But other than this, I don't see any other options. Do you? I'm all ears. But if you're just going to tell me to give it more time, like before, then that doesn't help anybody. Certainly not Eren."

Mikasa glowers with her teeth bared, as though if she glowers hard enough she could will this situation away. But it's evident from her lack of response that she knows just as well as Annie, that there are no other options. In the end she turns away to look forward with a huff. "Fuck."

It's the first time Annie hears Mikasa curse, and for a while, she feels terrible to have placed Mikasa in this position. Because Mikasa is right. She hasn't actually done anything to encourage Annie's desire, but she will suffer the consequences all the same. Annie wonders if Mikasa hates her for this. If she's sitting there hating her. She hadn't blamed Annie for anything the first they spoke of this, but maybe she does now. Maybe she's wishing that she never agreed to fight her. Maybe she's even wishing Annie never met Eren. And she can't fault Mikasa for wishing all those things. She reaches out to the door lock, manually pushing it open. The click draws Mikasa's attention.

"Just once, Mikasa. And I promise I won't mention it again. I will wait until Sunday," Annie announces, keeping her gaze down to not incur more of Mikasa's ire. "If your answer remains the same, or if I don't hear from you I will assume your answer remains the same...then I will break up with Eren. But don't worry, I won't tell him why, or at least, I'll keep you out of it." And then she wraps her fingers around the handle of the door. "I'll get home on my own from here. Thanks for the ride so far."

She makes to pull the handle but the lock clicks shut again before she can. Looking over, she sees Mikasa's finger on the central control. Mikasa sighs, shifting the gear into Drive and releasing the hand brake.

"I said I'll send you home. Don't insult me any further than you have. Just put on your seat belt."

Annie does. "Right. Sorry."

Mikasa's fury doesn't dampen for the rest of the journey. There are no courtesy goodbyes either as Annie leaves the car. But despite that, despite Mikasa channeling nothing but coldness towards her, she still feels that recognizable warmth in her belly as she watches Mikasa drive away. Then it spreads to her cheeks as she remembers literally asking Mikasa to fuck her. She must be broken somehow. How else could she find it acceptable to do that? The her of six months ago would balk at what she'd just done. But the her of six months ago hadn't met Mikasa either. So it's all Mikasa's fault, really. It's all Mikasa's fault.

She doesn't expect to see Mikasa again. She doesn't expect Mikasa to change her mind. She doesn't expect Mikasa to show up on Sunday. She fully expects to have to break up with Eren at the end of the week. Humorlessly, she discovers later that even if Mikasa wants to communicate, they still don't have each other's numbers. Or at least, if Mikasa does, she's not making it known.

So she spends the remaining five days as Eren's girlfriend by being a good girlfriend. Not that she can say for sure that she knows what that's like. They've only been together a month before she meets Mikasa and everything starts falling apart. But a month is a month. She falls back on that, and the three months before, and does the things they used to do together. Dinner dates, drinks, talking about interesting upcoming matches or fighters. She wonders if he might stop fight classes with her once they break up, so she starts giving him evaluations that he could take with him elsewhere if he wants.

Come Friday, she makes them both take a day off and together, they take a train out of town to the ocean, something he's been saying he wants to do with her but hasn't yet. She walks with him hand in hand on the beach, waves and sand between her toes and he talks about his dream of seeing the world. That night, as she stays over at his place for what she thinks is the last time, she focuses on his pleasure. Makes him feel as good as she possibly can. And when she leaves the next morning, kissing him goodbye at the door, she knows she's going to feel this loss. He grins and waves at her as she walks away, and she commits that to memory.


Note: So like, I'm actually really curious about what people would think about the developments in this chapter, so do share what you think. Also, I'm still taking suggestions for the name of Reiner and Bertholdt's restaurant.