Here is Letters Chapter 3! It took a bit longer to get out than I thought it would…Sorry busy, busy.
Disclaim: Don't own Prince of Tennis…
Warnings: Angst, drama. Will be BL in the future.
10-28-11
Tezuka,
Thank you so much for talking to Fuji, he finally told us that he's been feeling a bit under the weather the last few days. And that he's going to the clinic Saturday, did you ask him to do that? He even sat out of practice like I asked him too, I'm so relieved…but worried as well, I mean it's pretty rare for Fuji to get sick, right… I just hope he takes it easy for a while so he can get better quickly.
Well in better news, regional's are coming up in just a month, our team is really strong this year, I think we're going to go far. I wish you could join us. How's the Germany team, not challenging enough for you right? XD I wonder how Kaidoh and the others back in middle school are going to do, we left a pretty big legacy and role to fill, I hope they're not too pressured. Maybe I'll go visit them for a while next week… the others will probably want to come with me; I'll send your regard too of course. :] Talk to you later,
Your friend, Oishi Shuichiro.
Tezuka enjoyed reading Oishi latest message, the last two weeks the boy had been obviously stressed and now he seemed to be falling back into his more tranquil state of being. He was also glad to hear that Fuji was going to heed his advice and see a doctor. He typed his friend a response quickly before starting on his homework.
10-31-11
Tezuka,
Sorry, I can't seem to get back into my once a week habit anymore… I just wanted to give you a little update in case you don't know. Though perhaps Fuji has contacted you already? He didn't come to school today so Eiji and I got worried and gave him a call. Fuji told us he was running a fever so he stayed home and that he had another appointment during school hours so it would be easier on his sister if he just didn't go... I hope he gets well soon, it's kinda scary. It's rare for Fuji to get sick but it's even more rare that he misses school because of it. I don't think he missed class at all last year, even during flu season! Eiji and I are going to call him again later to see how he's doing. I'll write you tomorrow too if you don't mind.
All the Best, Oishi Shuichiro.
The message was just a few hours old; Oishi had probably written it right after school. Briefly Tezuka wondered if the golden pair had already contacted Fuji with their questions. It would only be around eight in Japan, Tezuka confirmed glancing at his wrist watch. He still had twenty minutes left for lunch, giving Fuji a call of his own couldn't hurt. Flipping out his cell phone, he was suddenly glad he decided to bring his laptop to school today; the last thing he wanted was to have to call the other boy late at night like the last time.
There were more rings than usual. Fuji was generally quite prompt at answering his phone, but eventually the tensai's muffled sleepy voice filled the phone, "Aah? Tez-ka?" his words were punctuated by a soft yawn. "Oh, wow. Sorry about that, I'm tired I guess." The boy on the other line apologized and Tezuka immediately felt bad for bothering him, Fuji sounded exhausted.
"Sorry if I woke you," Tezuka supplied, figuring since Fuji was already up now they might as well continue the conversation.
"No, it's fine. I had to get up in a minute for dinner and to do homework anyway," Fuji reassured though Tezuka had a hard time believing him.
Figuring he should get straight to the point and allow Fuji to return to bed promptly he questioned, "What happened at the clinic?" The other line when silent for a spell and an uneasy feeling blossomed in the pit of the former captain's stomach. Though he couldn't quite place where it came from.
"Sa, I had to have some blood work done…" Fuji spoke, quiet and distastefully.
There was something besides mere fatigue and inconvenience behind Fuji's words and Tezuka found the discrepancy alarming. "What did the doctor say? Did you get any results?" Tezuka probed, not liking the other boy's hesitance. When Fuji didn't answer Tezuka prompted him again, "Fuji", unable to stand the mystery lingering in the air.
Finally Fuji spoke, "I…" he began then faulted again as if pressed for words. The nervous knot in Tezuka's stomach sank further, somehow he knew he wasn't going to like whatever the genius was about to reveal. Fuji may have enjoyed being elusive and vague, but he was never hesitant. It was obvious something serious had happened. "…I haven't told anyone yet…Are you sure you want to know? I will happily pledge that ignorance is truly bliss." Fuji stated off-handedly, and Tezuka could almost see the boy's protective walls rising up around him. He would not have it.
"Don't be ridiculous Fuji, tell me what's wrong," Tezuka nearly demanded. Whatever it was Fuji had it would in no way change the way he felt about the boy. There was no way Tezuka would turn away from a friend in need.
"Tezuka…" Fuji said softly, sadly, as if he had heard the ex-captains thoughts. "I'm afraid it's quite serious…I have-… they told me it's Leukemia…" Tezuka swore he heard Fuji's voice tremble just slightly, "Tezuka…I have cancer." Absolutely speechless, Tezuka felt his thoughts crash to an abrupt halt, words wrenched straight out of his throat. Surely Fuji would not joke about something this serious, but this couldn't be true, it had to be a lie. Fuji was always healthy, this couldn't be right. Denial hit Tezuka in full force. Subconsciously the captain was holding his breath waiting for the 'just kidding' or 'got you' from the other end. Something, anything, that would make that horrid statement untrue, yet he knew there was none coming; no, Fuji was serious. Absolutely, terrible serious. Of all the times for the genius to finally open up, completely and honestly, it had to about something never in his entire life had Tezuka wanted or imagined hearing. And for the first time in his life, Tezuka did not know what to do. He had no control over the situation and it made him angry. At himself, Fuji or the cancer he did not pause to reason.
"I know I was shocked too…I never would have thought…I know they always say it could happen to anyone but…I-I just never expected it to happen to me…" Fuji continued much to Tezuka surprise. It seemed Fuji really needed to vent at the moment, and Tezuka would not blame him for it. He wanted to say something, anything, some form of assurance but the words were jammed in his throat. Nothing seemed fitting. What do you tell someone in this situation? For the first time Tezuka suddenly wished he had Oishi's calming comforting nature.
Tezuka settled with a, "You will get better," he wasn't even sure himself whether it was a statement or a question. He supposed it was both, he just felt complied to say something. His heart was pounding oddly against his ribs, unpleasantly so.
"Yeah…" Fuji replied though his tone was a bit more doubtful than Tezuka wanted to hear. Yet, of course the other boy would be frightened. There was no way the tensai was taking this news well, nobody could. "The doctor wants to start treatment as soon as possible, but my mother is abroad right now… She needs to give her consent for…it…" Tezuka's rapid heartbeat gained a frantic edge as Fuji's perpetually sound voice wavered with the unusual influx of emotions, "Sorry…I'm not really myself right now. There are so many things running through my head… I don't think I've ever been this confused…and really I'm kind of terrified…" The words lost strength as Fuji continued, transforming into uncertain hardly audible murmur. When an uneven intake of breath past though the phone an irrepressible shiver ran down Tezuka's spine. Fuji was not the emotional type and it was startling to hear such trepidation from the boy. For a moment Tezuka wondered how he would react were he in Fuji's place. To suddenly find out you were terribly sick with something potentially fatal. He forced the dreadful thought away; he didn't want to think about it. Fuji was a strong person, if anyone could pull though this it was the tensai, and perhaps he needed to hear it himself.
"Fuji, you're strong, you'll get over this," The former captain announced as if it were fact. The words were for Fuji's sake just as much as his own. Nothing could happen to his friend, this type of thing didn't happen, Fuji couldn't die. How could this be true? Reality suddenly seemed too cruel.
Despite his own uncertainties his words actually seemed to calm the boy on the other line a bit. Tezuka heard a few deep breaths and when Fuji spoke again his voice no longer sounded so precariously close to panic.
"Thank you…for listening. It must be strange to sudden hear all these personal things, sorry to make you uncomfortable." Fuji answered; there was a dull lull in the soft voice as if the words were being smothered by some intangible force and Fuji's heavy breaths sounded painfully strained.
"You didn't. I might not be the best person to talk to about this kind of stuff, especially since you have your family, but if you ever need to talk I'll always be ready to listen, okay?" Tezuka announced with an almost cliché seriousness. It still seemed like such a small gesture to give to his longtime friend, yet it was the most he was able to offer from such a distance. He was still surprised that Fuji had revealed so much of himself, especially at such a sensitive time. It really showed just how much this was affecting him. Still Tezuka was glad, this was not something that could be bottled inside and hidden under that carefully crafted smile. Fuji needed support, understanding, and Tezuka was more than happy to be that listening ear.
"Wow Tezuka, how noble. Promise me, ne?" The boy on the other line prompted and Tezuka couldn't help the small smile that threatened to change his stony expression at hearing such Fuji-like banter.
"Of course," He quickly supplied completely serious. He heard Fuji hum in gratitude through the phone, this seemed to please Fuji more than he thought it would. Yet surely he would feel more comfortable talking to his brother or sister about such personal matters? As if the blue eyed boy read his thoughts he spoke on the matter.
"I think I would die of embarrassment if I had to talk to Yuuta about it," In no way could Tezuka fathom why he would feel this way. Sure the two brothers had their share of problems but there was no room for embarrassment in this issue. Before Tezuka thought to deeply about it Fuji continued, "I mean he's already taller than me, if I told him I was scared of something I would just lose all my superiority as an older brother."
"Fuji…" Tezuka scolded, knowing the tensai would understand that his reasoning was ridiculous to say the least. Without a doubt his fears were warranted.
"You don't have siblings Tezuka so you don't understand; this is a very important matter," Tezuka swore he could hear Fuji's smile slipping back into place, and he felt a bit accomplished for being able to lift the boy's spirit. "But really Yuuta's so sensitive he'll worry too much about it," Fuji revealed, and Tezuka could only think that it was natural, of course. While the boy might not have liked to admit it, it was clear to all that Fuji Yuuta cared for his older brother. But it was also so like Fuji not to want to worry this younger brother.
"You should try talking to him; it might make him happy to know you can confide in him," Tezuka suggested, though he really couldn't say much on the matter. After all Fuji was right and he really didn't have a clue as to how to deal with siblings or with cancer for that matter. Just thinking of the disease made Tezuka's frown deepen. It sounded so foreign and strange, notorious and deadly. He fought the thoughts building and cluttering the space in his mind. A noise from Fuji reminded Tezuka of their conversation. He couldn't be sure if it was of rejection or agreement, then came a drawn out sighed, "Oh, no, I don't know how I'm going to be able to tell everyone… Eiji and Oishi…they are going to freak out. Taka-san, he'll be distraught."
Truthfully Tezuka hadn't even spared a thought to his other teammates, but Fuji was right the group probably would not handle this very well. On the other hand Fuji really shouldn't have been worrying about the other boys; he had enough to think about.
"The will be fine," It wasn't a direct lie, they would have to accept the truth eventually and he knew they would all rally around Fuji until he was well again. "I'll inform them if you want." Tezuka suggested hoping to lessen Fuji's burden in any way he could.
"No, it's fine, I'll do it, at least those three…they would probably feel betrayed if they had to hear it second hand…" Fuji's words were growing increasingly airy, wavering with an effort that should not be needed. Uneasiness pricked Tezuka's consciousness and he wondered just how far Fuji was pushing himself already.
"Okay then," There was no way Tezuka could allow this to continue. Fuji was obviously not feeling well, "You should get some rest now, call me whenever."
"Hmm, careful I might just take you up on that offer Tezuka," Fuji chuckled good naturedly, then added, "Good night," followed by an uncharacteristically hesitant, "thanks for tonight."
"Good night Fuji, sleep well," Tezuka bid his friend good wishes and hung up the phone. Pulling off his glasses the former captain pinched the bridge of his nose. Without Fuji directly on the other end of the line and with a foreign school surrounding him it suddenly made the news he just heard surreal. He had a hard time comprehending the fact that he still had a life to attend to, far removed from his suffering friend and it made him feel all the more homesick. Cancer, he had never really given the disease much thought before. He knew it was serious, of course, the infamous stigma; that which everybody feared. It had always seemed like some horrible story far removed from his own life- yet Fuji had it; one of his closest friends. How was he supposed to react, what should he do, how did Fuji feel about it? He had no answers and to be honest the complexity scared him. Tezuka was a man of minimalism enjoying difficulty in terms of tennis matches not emotions. Hours would be needed in order for him to organize his thoughts; unfortunately that was not an option.
Responsibility forced Tezuka to look down at his watch and he was shocked to find that their call had lasted the better half of the hour and class had already started a while ago. Stiffly Tezuka proceed to his classroom; thoughts buzzing, heavy with Fuji's voice. All he could do was hope that this was anything save for what he expected it to be and that Fuji would overcome this with the grace and superiority in which he did everything else.
Thanks for reading. Corrections, comments, suggestions welcomed!
