Chapter 3

We've finished unpacking the new house.

It's small and quaint and easier to take care of.

I've already started making plans for my garden in the front. I was surprised James even let me have a garden. Lately he's been in a good mood.

Right now he's at work. I take this opportunity to clean the house again. I know James likes a very clean home to come to.

I make sure every nook and cranny is spotless. Books and CD's are organized, the food in right order. I pull out the stuff to make dinner tonight.

When that's all done I make a new list of things to do.

He's pleased when he comes home.

Which is good

Very good

He actually compliments on the dinner.

I smile. Maybe all we needed was to start over.

The next day I head into town to buy flower seeds and fertilizer.

It's a small town, but I like it. People are nice here.

The sales clerk is an older woman and introduces herself as Martha. I smile and tell her my name.

"New into town?" she drawls. Her southern twang is very prominent.

I nod, "Me and my husband moved here from Phoenix."

"Well isn't that nice, dear." she smiles. I tell her about the house.

"You must live on cherry tree lane."

I look at her in surprise and she laughs.

"Oh honey it's a small town. You live here long enough and you'll know where everything is."

"There's another house next to us a ways down but I've never seen anyone." I say.

She sighs. "That would be the house of Edward Cullen."

"Who?"

"That young man has lived there all his life. I recon he's never left the town much. Keeps to himself he does. Don't be surprised if he never shows himself."

I drove home with my things, thinking about what she said.

I guess in a way I envy him. This man I never met. How he hides himself away. I wish I could hide. Fly away, even.

To be able to leave

I don't dare hope anymore

Hope is dangerous

I sometimes pretend though. That I have courage, that I was brave.

That night with James sleeping next to me I pretend I get out of bed, walk down the hall, and out the front door. Its dark out but I don't care. I walk down the street.

I don't know where I'm going and I don't care.

Anywhere is better than here

I finally fall asleep, dreaming of far off places.