When it all falls apart

Edward

'You're not going to like it,' she said.

I doubted that. Whatever it was, it couldn't be as bad as not knowing what was going on. I knew something had been on her mind. She had tried to hide it from me, but I had been able to read her better and better each day.

She sat up, the sheets falling from her body.

'I need to be dressed for this,' she muttered, barely audible.

I picked up my shirt from the floor and handed it to her.

'Please, Bella, just tell me.'

'There's no way to ease into this,' she warned. 'Uhm… I suppose I should just say it… I uhm… haven't had a period since we started having sex.'

Was that it? It couldn't be that bad, could it?

'So, you're like, a couple of days late?' I asked.

'No, Edward. You don't understand. I haven't been late a day in my life. It's been weeks!'

Dots started getting connected and I was becoming frustrated.

'Why didn't you talk to me about this sooner?'

'Because… I don't know, alright! First, there was all this stress around Christmas, and then I got really busy with school. I just didn't notice. But then I missed another one…'

'When was that?' I questioned.

Had she been walking around with this secret all this time? Why hadn't she confided in me?

'About two weeks ago,' she confessed softly.

'Two weeks ago?' I yelled.

Yes, I yelled at her. I couldn't help it. My girlfriend was telling me she was late and had been thinking so for several weeks. Can you blame me for being slightly angered by that?

'Look, I'm sorry, okay?' she yelled right back. 'I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to worry you, what, with the wedding coming up and all. And maybe I was hoping I'd get my period before we'd have to have this conversation. Seeing as how well it's going now!'

Tears were streaming down her face and instantly I felt bad. Sure, she should have come to me. Didn't she know by now that we were in this thing together, for better or worse? But I could understand her fears a bit, too. I mean, she was just seventeen. Of course this was a scary situation.

'Shit, baby, I'm sorry.' I rushed over to her, not caring that I was naked. 'I didn't mean to upset you. It's just… this is kind of big, you know? I wish you'd've come to me sooner. Please, don't cry,' I tried to console her, wiping the tears from her cheeks and kissing her softly.

She leaned into me and I wrapped my arms around her. She was just calming down when there was a knock on the door.

'Are you guys okay?' Rosalie called. 'I just got in and I heard yelling…'

Bella looked up at me, a silent question in her eyes. I shrugged; why not tell Rosalie? She might be able to offer Bella advice that I couldn't give. She went to open the door as I put my underwear back on.

'Hey Rose,' she greeted her quietly. 'How was dinner?'

'Cut the crap, Bells. I heard you both yell, you've obviously been crying, and Edward looks about as guilty as can get. What happened?'

Leave it to Rosalie to cut to the chase. Bella hesitated, taken aback by her straightforward approach, so I spoke up.

'Bella thinks she might be pregnant.'

Rosalie's expression immediately softened and she turned to Bella, rubbing her hands over her arms.

'Oh, sweetie…' she sighed. 'Did you take a test?'

Bella was close to tears again and could only shake her head.

Rosalie cupped her face, 'Let's go do that right now, okay?'

o.O.o

Both girls disappeared into the bathroom and I was left standing in the middle of the room, just waiting. I took to pacing along the hallway outside the bathroom door. How long could a test like that take? It felt like it had been hours.

On my fifth turn, Emmett barged in the front door.

'Rosie, babe, can I come in yet?' he yelled. 'Oh, hey Eddie. What are you doing out here?'

'Rose took Bella to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test.'

I figured I might as well tell him now, as he was about to find out anyway.

'So that is why she wanted me to wait outside! My girl is pregnant? That's awesome!' He started banging on the door. 'Babe, let me in! Can I see it, please?'

That was unexpected. I guess the way I had said it had made him think Rosalie was taking the test. Had they been trying for a baby?

Before I was able to get a word in, he realized the door was unlocked and he opened it, revealing two stunned girls.

Rosalie held up the test, comparing it to the image on the box, and muttered, 'It's positive.'

Everything happened so fast then.

'I'm going to be a daddy?' Emmett shouted excitedly, and ran over to Rosalie.

She tried to tell him otherwise, but at the same time, Bella burst into tears and rushed into my arms. I was in shock, honestly. Within a matter of minutes, the night had gone from a romantic Valentine's celebration to a complete chaos. There wasn't much to do at the moment except hold Bella and let her cry.

When Emmett realized Rosalie wasn't returning his sentiments, he started to put things together.

'You're not pregnant?' he asked, to which she shook her head. 'But… the test was positive…'

'Yes. Babe…' Rosalie hedged, at the same time that I started, 'Em…'

I noticed the second he realized exactly what was going on, and started to pull out of the bathroom, taking Bella with me.

Best to put some distance between yourself and that big guy.

'No way. But that means… No fucking way! My little sister? Edward? What the fuck?' he roared, then turned around and fixed his murderous gaze on me. 'Get your ass back in here, Cullen! I'm going to fucking kill you! You knocked up my little sister? Get out of my way, Rose!'

He tried to get to me, but his path was blocked by both his girlfriend and his sister.

'Em, calm down!' Rosalie commanded him. 'You're only making it worse. Can't you see how upset they already are?'

'I don't care!' he continued. 'He should be upset. He's ruining her life! Just get out of my way so I can beat the crap out of him!'

'Please, don't, Emmett,' Bella cried. 'You don't want to hurt him.'

'Like hell I don't! Bells, he messed up, and I told him to treat you right…'

They kept on yelling, and Bella could barely speak, she was crying so hard.

I reached out to take her hand and spoke in her ear, 'Let's just give him some space to deal with this. We'll go to my place and figure out what to do tomorrow.'

I ushered her back to her room and turned to Rosalie.

'Can you take care of him? I'm so sorry for ruining your night.'

'Don't worry about it, Edward. You just make sure Bella's alright. I'll call you in the morning.'

o.O.o

The ride over was painfully quiet. We had quickly thrown on some clothes, grabbed our phones and my keys and made our retreat. As we had walked out the door, Rosalie had been consoling Emmett in the living room. I felt like a grade A douche; I had singlehandedly managed to crush my best friend's dream of fatherhood while simultaneously tarnishing his sister as well as his trust in me. Not to mention the fact that Bella and I were now faced with a life-altering situation. She was in the passenger seat, crying quietly. All I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and make all her pain and worries go away, but this was a situation I couldn't fix like that.

When we got to my place, she didn't move to get out of the car. I walked around it, opened the door and gently lifted her from her seat, cradling her close to my chest. She buried her head in the crook of my neck and sniffled a little. She was so vulnerable in that moment; I felt even more protective of her than usual. I had to step up and take responsibility.

She clutched my sweatshirt when I laid her down on my bed, not wanting to let go.

'Shhh,' I soothed her. 'I'll be right back. Just going to get you some tea.'

On my way to the kitchen, I texted my father.

Dad, sorry to disturb your weekend, but could you come home in the morning? I need your help – Edward

He would be able to help us, and at the very least make sure Bella was physically okay. I did a little math in my head. If Bella's last period had been before Christmas, she was about two months pregnant at the most. That meant she would be eighteen by the time the baby was born; I would be twenty-two. Sure, we were both young, but we were also adults and committed to each other. Emmett and Rosalie had apparently been trying for a while, so what was to say we couldn't do it? If I could get Bella to see that side of things, maybe she wouldn't be as upset anymore. I just needed to make sure she knew I was serious about us.

o.O.o

I sat down the tea on the bedside table, stripped to my underwear and got into bed beside her. She immediately rolled over and nestled into my embrace. I kissed the top of her head, preparing myself for what I was about to ask.

'Marry me, Bella?' I spoke quietly.

Her breath hitched and she looked up at me with tear-filled eyes, a confused expression in them. Hadn't she heard my question, or didn't she understand?

'What?' she choked out.

'Marry me,' I repeated.

'Stop joking, Edward,' she admonished me. 'This is serious. We have to…'

'But I am being serious,' I insisted.

Didn't she see that this would at least take some of the stress out of the situation? If we got married, we would be a family and no one could argue we were being irresponsible. She appeared to be mulling over the idea. Relief flashed across her face, only to be replaced by anger and, finally, determination.

'No,' she spoke softly.

What? Why would she turn down this solution?

'But, Bella, you do love me, right?' I asked, all of a sudden starting to feel insecure.

'You know I do,' she assured me. 'So incredibly much. But I don't want to marry you like this. You should ask me because you can't imagine your life without me.'

'But I can't,' I objected.

It was true. I couldn't even begin to fathom what my life would be like without her in it. Charlie would most certainly take her away from me once he found out about this.

'I know, but that's not the main reason you're asking me now. It's because I'm pregnant. Out of fear, or obligation. That's not how I want it. When I marry you, I want it to be about love, of choosing to tie myself to you in any way humanly possible. Nothing more, nothing less.'

Wow. That was quite the answer, and not one I was expecting, or hoping for. But she had a point when she said my proposing to her was initiated by our current predicament. I did want to marry her, though, for all the reasons she just gave me.

She said when, not if. That's a good sign.

'So, you do want to marry me eventually?' I asked carefully after a few moments of silence.

'Of course! I'd love to be your wife. Someday.'

I breathed a sigh of relief and resignation.

'But not now.'

It wasn't a question, but she nodded in response anyway. I pulled her back against me, needing to feel her close to me, and kissed her gently.

o.O.o

Bella was quiet after that and after I while, I thought she had fallen asleep, so I was a little surprised when I felt her soft fingers caressing my chest and abs, tracing lower until they reached the waistband of my boxers. She turned her head and started placing kisses on my chest. Just being close to her got me hard and her current touches only enhanced that; I was already breathing heavier and felt my muscles tense in anticipation. But when she dipped her hand into my underwear and started stroking me, I spoke up. We didn't have to have sex again that night, not with the emotional state she was in. I was perfectly content with just holding her.

'Edward, you don't understand,' she said, not faltering in the movement of her hand. 'I want you. I need to feel close to you. Especially now.'

With that, she gripped me more firmly and started pumping, while biting my nipple. The combination caused me to moan and buck up into her hand. There was no way I was going to deny her what we obviously both wanted. She helped me out of my boxers and I quickly removed her clothes, so I had her once again naked in my arms. Bella wrapped her legs around me and looked up at me intently.

'Make love to me, Edward,' she implored.

I leaned down and kissed her deeply, at the same time pushing into her. No condom this time.

She's already pregnant, no worries about risking that now.

For the first time I was experiencing making love to Bella unadulterated and without any barriers. The feeling was exquisite. I had never done it without a condom before, so this was truly a milestone for the both of us. My emotions were all over the place; relishing in the purely physical pleasure, savoring this connection with her, the lingering stress of earlier… But above all I felt a sense of awe about what she was giving me. I had the girl I loved in my arms, the woman I knew I would marry once she would be ready, and my child was growing inside her. I opened my eyes and saw my own whirlpool of emotions reflected in those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes of her.

'Bella…' I whispered almost reverently.

In response, she tightened the grip of her legs around my waist and clutched my arms near desperately. A single tear slipped from her eyes; I wiped it away with my thumb and kissed her again. When my orgasm arrived, it was so unexpected and so intense, I was left gasping for air.

o.O.o

When I woke up the next morning, I was wrapped around Bella, my hand resting on her stomach. She was still asleep, a small smile on her lips. We were so comfortable like this; I could easily picture the rest of our lives.

Wow there, buddy. You're talking marriage, family, commitment… forever!

Exactly. She was it for me. Why wait, or deny it?

Yeah, well, make sure you don't scare her off. Remember, you're both still really young.

I knew that, and of course, ideally, we wouldn't be in this situation this early on. But we were, and I might as well try to make the best of it.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door. I got out of bed, put my underwear back on and made sure Bella was sufficiently covered before I went to open it.

'Good morning, son,' my father greeted me. 'I just wanted to let you know Esme and I are home.'

'Thanks, Dad. I'll go wake up Bella and we'll be right down.'

'Why are you two here, anyway? I thought you were staying at Rosalie's?'

'We were, but something came up and I thought it'd be better to come here instead. Look,' I said, glancing over my shoulder to check on Bella. 'We'll be down soon and then I'll explain, alright?'

He nodded and walked away. I closed the door and knelt beside the bed, gently tracing my hand down Bella's side. She opened her eyes and smiled at me, but when she noticed we were in my room instead of hers, her face fell and she sighed.

'What's wrong, love?'

'I had been hoping it was all just a bad dream,' she confessed. 'But then I remembered everything.'

Shit. She obviously was still very much stressed out over it. Not that I wasn't, but I had been trying to see the positive side of things and come up with solutions. Bella appeared not to be there yet.

'Well, my dad's home now. I figured he could help, at least for the medical stuff and all. So let's just get dressed and go have some breakfast, alright?'

o.O.o

'What?' my father roared, banging his fist on the table and making me cringe.

Bella sat beside me, stunned silent, clutching my hand.

'Edward, how could you be so irresponsible? You're both still in school, for crying out loud! What were you thinking? Ever heard of a condom?'

During his rant, Bella had started crying. I put my arm around her and pulled her into my side as I defended myself.

'Dad, will you please calm down? I know we messed up, alright? For the record: we've been using condoms every single time. One of them must've broken…'

'And you didn't notice?'

'Come on, Dad, you know me.'

'I thought I did, but then again, I didn't know about your former harem until a couple of months ago.'

I winced. Why did he have to bring that up? I knew I didn't have the best track record, but I had hoped that would all be in the past by now.

'Okay, look, I'm sorry about all the shit I've put you through over the years; you didn't deserve that. But this isn't about that. It's about me and Bella.'

'Darling, he's right,' Esme spoke up. 'He's a changed man since Bella came into his life. I'm sure we can trust them both that this was an accident.'

I shot her a thankful smile, then addressed my father again.

'Condoms can break when used in water. As far as I can guess, that's got to be what happened.'

All three of them looked at me, confused.

'I've had some time to think about it, okay? We've always been careful; I would've noticed if a condom had burst or slipped off. The only time I can remember that something could've happened without me noticing was the time we did it in the shower.'

I felt a little embarrassed discussing this with my parents, but if it would prove to my father that I hadn't been reckless, so be it. He was silent for a while, taking in my words.

'And when would that have been?'

'Christmas,' Bella whispered.

'Did you take a test?'

'Yes, last night. It was positive.'

'Alright, here's what we'll do. We go to the hospital, get some blood work done and a sonogram. Based on the timeframe, and I take it, Bella, you're period is fairly regular? Then you'll probably be looking at a due date of around mid to late September. Once we've got more information, we'll discuss your options. Agreed?'

We both nodded.

I was glad he listened to me and had come around from his initial anger.

Doctor Cullen was taking over.

o.O.o

The sonogram confirmed our suspicions: Bella was about ten to twelve weeks pregnant.

I just couldn't believe that the blip on that screen was our baby. Bella didn't take it too well, though; she broke down in my arms and spent a good amount of time crying. She wasn't ready for this. But when we started talking about our options, she flat out refused to consider an abortion – for which I was thankful – and struggled with the idea of adoption. Esme sat down beside her and took her hand.

'Bella, dear, I know this is an awful lot to process right now, but trust me that it's best to follow your heart. Anything practical can be sorted out later. Right now it's important you don't do something you'll regret. No one will judge you for your decision, so don't worry about that. What do you want?'

Bella sniffled and hesitated, then carefully whispered, 'I… I'm not ready for this. But I can't give it up…'

I released the breath I had been holding at that.

'So, you're saying you want to keep it?' I asked carefully.

She shrugged, 'I guess so.'

I hugged her to me.

'We'll figure it out, love.'

I locked eyes with my parents over her head and knew we could count on them for support. We just had to think of a plan.

o.O.o

The rest of Sunday was spent talking about our situation and trying to come to terms with it. Rosalie called to see how things went; Emmett was still very upset, but mostly disappointed, and said he'd be the best uncle the baby would ever know. Alice cried when we told her and Jasper. I couldn't figure out if she was happy, or sad, or confused. Probably a mixture of it all. Jasper just looked at us with a concerned expression on his face, then hugged Bella and took me aside.

'How are you holding up?' he asked.

'What do you mean? I'm fine.'

'I don't believe that. Granted, I like you a whole lot better since you met B, but come on, man. It's not that long ago that you were all about the fun and parties no responsibilities… Are you honestly saying you're ready to settle down and start a family?'

'I don't have much of a choice, do I?' I countered. 'Look, I spent most of the night thinking this through. I don't want to lose Bella; she's everything to me. Yes, this is all messed up and way too soon, but there's nothing we can do about that now. I'm just going to make the best of it. And I am pretty excited about my baby growing inside of her, you know? That stuff's just amazing, to see it on that screen…'

He clapped me on the shoulder and gave me a one-armed hug.

'Alright, you don't have to convince me,' he laughed. 'Just know that it's going to be tough, but we'll all be here for you guys. Can't believe my best friend's going to have a kid…'

o.O.o

The hardest part was telling Bella's parents. Renee broke down into tears, blubbering about being too young to be a grandmother, 'and what about school?' and all that.

'Mom,' Bella interrupted her. 'I won't drop out. We haven't sorted everything out yet, but we will.'

Charlie wasn't having any of it, though. He was in Chicago on business, so we were actually having the talk through Skype. The computer's speakers nearly burst when he started voicing his anger, and Bella flinched beside me, nearly cutting off blood flow in my hand with the way she was squeezing it. He practically ordered us to get an abortion and then for me to stay away from Bella, but she put her foot down before I could even formulate a response.

'We'll do no such thing!' she yelled. 'I'm having this baby, whether you like it or not. I'm not a murderer and as long as I have Edward by my side, I'll be fine.'

'As long as he sticks around, that is,' Charlie muttered.

'Shut up, Dad!' she yelled, exasperatedly. 'I know this is messed up, but we're doing the best we can and you acting this way isn't helping.'

'Charlie, please,' Renee added. 'You'll drive her away from us. We need to be there for her, for them. There's really nothing else to do.'

It took a lot of convincing, but finally he conceded that at least we were trying to do the right thing. He did promise me one hefty talk when he was back in town. I was still rather intimidated by the guy, but also knew that nothing could sway me from my decision. Bella and I were a family now and if anyone would try to come between us, we would face them together.

o.O.o

That night I stayed over at Bella's for the first time. Renee didn't mind, reasoning that we were already having a baby together, so why try to deny it?

Bella took me up to her room, closed the door and drew the curtains. I pulled her back against my chest, resting one hand on her belly while pulling her hair back with the other, and softly kissed her shoulder. She sighed and leaned back against me, stroking the hand on her stomach.

I started to unfasten the buttons of her school uniform, gaining access to her skin, when she said, 'If Charlie gives us grief about all of this, I'm moving in with you right away. Once we're married, he can't do a thing about it.'

I couldn't contain my smile at her words. True, she didn't exactly spell it out, but she did say she'd marry me, and that was the important part. Despite all of the stress we had endured and all of the troubles we were bound to encounter, I couldn't have been happier.

I had my Bella and we were starting our future together.

o.O.o

That happiness didn't last long, however, because just a few days later my world came tumbling down with one frantic phone call from Alice.

'You have to come to the hospital now! There's so much blood…'