"Please to meet you Mr…um…am I pronouncing this right? Mr. K-i-l-l-e-r Moth?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Is that a foreign name?"

"No, it's American in origin."

"Uh huh. So we received your resume from Craig's List and I wanted to ask you a few questions about it before we start."

"Proceed."

"There seems to be a gap in your employment history from February 2006 to now. Care to explain that?"

"Well, I was trying to kill Batman in that time."

"Were you successful in your attempts?"

"No…but I did get pretty close one time when I stumbled onto him when I was trying to run away. That caught him by surprise."

"Uh huh. Yes, it seems from 2005 to 2006 your profession was "Super-villain." What did you do during that time?"

"Well…I…uh…trained henchmen to do my bidding. We, the henchman and I, did some team-building exercises like jumping out of burning buildings and shooting pigeons. I also created Microsoft Excel spreadsheets of inventory of nefarious gadgets and copyedited death threats to the city."

"And this henchman, did you list him in here as a peer reference?"

"No, he's dead. I…killed him. I mean, terminated. He…he was a time thief but, then again, aren't we all? Especially Clock King. Heh, heh."

"Uh huh. I see. Were you ever promoted in this position?"

"Well I moved up from the Z table to the…alpha table. I think that's a positive step."

"Hmm. What would you say is your greatest weakness?"

"Whew, what isn't? Heh, heh. Really, none of these jokes hitting? OK…um…well, I don't know when to quit. I guess I would say my biggest weakness is not really having any weaknesses because I think I'm a pretty, pretty awesome guy. My track record can prove that."

"Let me tell you what's this job entails. It's 9 to 5, basic entry-level salary. Your main responsibilities are to assist the district manager, check the stocks in the backroom twice a day, and to work the front if needed. You also get an unpaid thirty minute lunch break and five paid vacation days to be used at your leisure. Do you have any questions?"

"Yeah, are there any extended bathroom breaks? I have this…problem."

"Certainly. Unless you take the time to leave the office for personal business."

"Nevermind."

"Why would you be our choice for this job?"

"I work well independently as well as with a team. Better independently. Those super-villain teams are just filled with jerks. They all try to show-off how nifty their gadgets are while there are probably like 5 guys that have an ice gun or ice beam or ice whatever motif. How many ice guys do you need? And they ALL have the same story. It's embarrassing after a while. I'm very proactive…if I don't get a job done well I do the same thing over and over again until it eventually works. At least that is what I think proactive means. I don't know, I never read Man's Search for Meaning or any of that feel good, be an effective person crap. I'm also a pretty stable guy. I once stalked Green Arrow for about three years until I was given a restraining order. And some people consider me a very charming guy…I'm a people person. I love, love, love people. It's…yeah. I think that's it."

"Well, I do believe our time is up. I'll show you to the door."

"So, did I get the job?"

"We'll be in contact with you."

"Oh come on, that's just corporate speak for no. Just say no. It's a simple word!"

"Like I said, we'll be in contact with you."

"Seriously? That's all you've got? You people are more insidious than some of the other villains out there. You leave the carrot dangling on the stick and then you not only take it away but you stab the person with the carrot repeatedly…in slow motion."

"A couple of pointers. We run a very respectable company that doesn't like to take on high risk people such as yourself. You haven't proven yourself in the workforce as well as on the super-villain market. Also, I don't think it was wise to come in for a job interview dressed as a moth."

"DON'T DENY WHO I AM!...It was a pleasure to meet you and I look forward to hearing back from you. Is that all you suits want to hear?"

"Have a good day, Mr. Moth."

"I don't need to work here. This office is crumbling apart. You and your other McDonalds assholes can go to hell. I swear on this day that I'll make it my life's work to destroy you all! Well…once I finally get a steady job…and my car back. Soon! Oh shit, I think I left my bus pass in there."