Bilbo's POV
After the battle was done, his friends' bodies carefully carried to the mountain and prepared for entombing he had decided to leave before the actual funeral. He could not stand the idea of seeing someone else on the Throne Under the Mountain, or to see the person he had connected with laid out in his final rest. The second part of his nature, the part rarely mentioned and rarely thought of was screaming within him. He needed to put distance between himself and the physical site of his sorrow. So he had asked Gandalf to take him home.

After bidding farewell to his Dwarven friends, Gandalf had somehow produced a horse for himself and pony for him, allowing the two of them to be off on the way home. The trip from Erebor to Rivendell went faster than he expected and within three weeks they were at the Elven community.

"Gandalf?" he inquires as they move through the gates towards the community itself.

"Yes Bilbo?" the old wizard replies questioningly, casting a glance in his direction.

"Can we stay here for a time?" he queries softly, eyes a head on the peaceful, graceful buildings.

He knows that the wizard was worried about him, had caught the glances that are occasionally thrown in his direction when the older man thinks he is not paying attention. What he doesn't know is how to explain that his sorrow is not just that he lost a friend, it is also the fact that his second nature, the part of himself he never talks about, has lost it's mate. That he could feel the planet weeping for the loss of life, particularly those who were innocent or pure, such as the children and animals.

"As long as Lord Elrond does not mind, we can," the wizard replies, his tone sounding relieved.

Smiling sadly, he nods, murmuring, "Thank you." Perhaps here in this peaceful place he will be able to resolve his sorrow, never forget it, merely come to grips with it better than he has in the weeks they were traveling.

A few minutes later they are greeted by the Elven Lord, "Be welcome," he states, his hand moving in the same welcoming gesture he had previously observed.

Smiling tiredly he replies, "Hello."

"Oh hello Lord Elrond, would you mind if we were to rest here for a time?" the wizard comments.

"You may indeed," the elf replies solemnly.

As they dismount, two young-looking elves come for their horse and pony, leading them away. Distractedly, he follows the two older men, not really paying attention as he allows his senses to sink into the surrounding area, all of the plants and animals, all the living things, even the soil and stone beneath them. In this place he feels almost as close to Her as he does at home. Perhaps he can heal spiritually and emotionally while here.

His attention is drawn back to the conversation when he hears his name spoken in a rather concerned manner. "Oh, sorry, what?" he mumbles as he blinks up at the two tall fellows.

Smiling gently, Gandalf inquires, "Are you quite alright Bilbo?"

Blushing, he responds, "Yes, of course, I just, its very beautiful here. Last time we were here things were a bit of a blur, there was no time to just appreciate that fact."

"Indeed," the wizard dryly comments, but there is something in his tone that says he is sure there is more than just that.

The elf merely waits patiently, his face expressionless, his eyes understanding and knowing. "After refreshments perhaps you would care to see the gardens?" the dark-haired elf suggests softly.

Smiling in relief, he nods, "That would be wonderful."

Inclining his head once the dark-haired elf motions for them to follow before leading them off to a pavilion that has been laid out with drinks and small things to eat. For the most part their meal is quietly, the only sounds being from the wildlife he can hear surrounding them. While the two big folk continue to talk, his mind brings forth the memories of the last time they were here, the tensions he could feel off of Thorin and some of the elder dwarves, the feeling of being safe after finally escaping the goblins and orcs. Thankfully, neither of his companions seems inclined to force a conversation, and while he would talk if they wanted, that is really not what he wants right now.

When they are nod with their rest and meal, the elf motions to a child who had been hovering just outside his range of vision, the dark-haired lad quickly coming over.

"Estel, please show Master Baggins to the Star Gardens," the dark-haired elf instructs softly, affection in his tone for the boy.

"I will," the dark-haired human lad responds, for his ears are not pointed at all, turning towards him, and smiling as he greets him, "Hello."

"Hello," he replies with a smile to the youth who was close to the same height as him. Standing, he nods to the other two before motioning the young man to lead them on.

Quietly, they make their way through the network of halls and walkways until they reach an enclosed area with delicate walkways that appear to make a starburst pattern.

"Do you know how to get back to your rooms?" the young man asks, tilting his dark head to the side.

"No, but I can ask someone when I am ready, thank you," he responds as he smiles at the young man.

Bobbing his head once energetically, the youth turns and leaves.

For the next several hours he wanders among the plants and stones. Sometimes staying on the path and other times straying from it. Still he is careful not to step on any of the plants. Eventually he finds a spot that seems right and settles onto the ground, his short fingers sinking into the lush moss and soil below as he allows his grief to pour through him finally, and from him into the ground below, adding it to Her grief over the loss of innocent life.

Hours pass as he stays there, nothing more than a small figure in the garden.

When he finally is ready to leave the garden, he feels better than he has since leaving the Shire. With a light heart he asks one of the elves he spots to show him where the main hall is once more so he can get to his sleeping quarters after getting cleaned up.

Weeks pass in quick succession after that first night, many of a similar nature where he would eat with the others but spend most of his time in the gardens. At night when he sleeps he often dreams of Thorin, but he sees these dreams as gifts from Her, a way to keep his dwarf with him. However not all of his time in the gardens is spent alone, he also spends time with some of the scholars, learning more of Elven customs and the language, listening closely so he can actually pick it up. By the time they are ready to leave, he actually has a pretty decent grasp on the basics of both the written and spoken word much to Lord Elrond's surprise. He has also made a friend in the human boy Estel.

The night before they are to leave the elf lord inquires after dinner, "Will you walk with me, Master Baggins?"

"Of course," he replies lightly, he had only planned on spending the remaining time in the Star Garden anyways.

Standing, he follows the elf, slightly surprised when the tall man changes his pace so they can walk beside each other instead.

"You seem different than when you first arrived," the elf eventually remarks.

The hint of a sad smile curves his lips as he responds, "I'm healthier now, reconnected if you will."

Silently the tall elf nods once as they continue to walk for a time.

"Can I ask you something?" he inquires, tilting his head to look up at the tall man.

"You may," he responds, waving one hand before him as if to say proceed.

"Do Elves have a goddess?" he inquires curiously. His own kind had Her, the First Mother, so he was curious who the elves had, or if they even had one.

Startled, the tall elf glances at him questioningly before responding, "Eru created the world and all of creation, including the fourteen Valar. As a race we give praise to Varda, the Star-Queen. However some feel connections to others, including Irmo, Yavanna, Nienna, and Estë."

Again silence falls for a few minutes before the elf tilts his head and curiously asks, "Why do you ask?"

"We pray to the First Mother, the planet herself from who we came from. I prayed to her then, at the Lonely Mountain and she answered my first prayer, but she couldn't answer my second." There is sadness in his tone as he speaks, he had known even as he prayed and begged that she would probably not answer his prayer to stop the dwarf from dying. For one thing, Thorin was not one of hers, for another she rarely interferes in matters of life and death. "I seem different because I was able to connect, to heal, with Her grace."

"Really?" The elf sounds intrigued and a bit skeptical.

He nods once, "In the Star Garden, I could feel her, the sorrow and pain and sadness, but also her hope, dreams, and love. She mourns for each life lost, whether it is one of hers, or one of the other's." he tilts his head up to look at the tall elf, "She created us, and created much of the world, but there were others who added their touches too, created their own species and races, plants and animals. In our belief, this creation by the others did not take away from her grace, but added to it, for it gave her more to love."

For a time the two of them are quiet as they consider the others words, eventually the elf breaks the silence by remarking, "I had not considered who Hobbits would believe in," he tilts his head slightly, "I always imagined it would follow the same beliefs as Man."

He shrugs, "Some do, but not all, a lot of the older families like mine still remember the old ways." For a bit he is quiet before remarking, "I think that is because they do not have the earth sense, the ability to feel Her."

"You do?" the elf queries as they turn and enter a different garden, one he is not familiar with.

Nodding, he answers, "All alphas and omegas do, I am an omega."

"Oh?"

"It is not something very many know, but yes, I am an omega, physically I am male, but when I went through puberty I changed slightly, if I ever found a partner I could be either father with a female, or mother with another male." He blushes, his tone dropping to a mutter, "I am not sure why I am talking about this, I never mention that fact, particularly since all my books say we're the only race like that." His voice returns to normal as he remarks, "My instincts say you will not tell, that your good at keeping your own council."

A smile curves the dark-haired elf's lips as he nods solemnly, "It is a skilled acquired in times past." Curious the tall man inquires, "What is an alpha then, if you are an omega?"

"Alpha's are females who can be both mother with a man, or father with a woman. Like the omega traits they do not occur until puberty." Glancing around at the beautiful garden he continues, "Both sets of traits run in bloodlines, my grandfather Mungo was actually an alpha, but chose to live as a male instead of a female." He shrugs, "Most people are unsettled by the idea of a man or woman who is not just a man or woman, so we do not advertise it."

The elf nods solemnly, "Then I will keep your council to myself, however may I speak with the Lady of Light of this in private? We have long discussed the nature of Eru and the Valar."

After a long moments consideration he nods slowly, "You may."

Easy silence falls between them as they consider the other more, though his thoughts are more on the journey that they are soon to start.

"My thanks," the elf eventually remarks as they exit the garden and he is surprised to see how close they are to the rooms, "Rest well, Master Baggins."

"Goodnight Lord Elrond," he responds before the elf leaves.

Tomorrow he will start the last half of his journey going home, he is finally ready. Thankfully, Gandalf and the elves have been very understanding.


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