Amy was half asleep in the back of the van when her phone rang. She saw it was Karma and let it ring another two times before working up the nerve to pick up. "Hey Karma," she answered.
"Hi," Karma said timidly. She sounded distant, which only increased how uncomfortable and awkward both parties felt.
"So fill me in. What going on? How are you doing?" Amy asked, trying her best to sound normal.
"My mom has breast cancer."
"Oh Karma," Amy said sympathetically. "I'm sorry. How are you doing?"
"Not great," karma said biting her lip. Even over the phone Amy could tell she was fighting back tears. "I miss you."
"I miss you too," Amy said quickly. "What did the doctors say?" She asked changing the subject back to Karma's mom.
"They caught it early," Karma said, "so that's good."
"That is good," Amy agreed.
"But I'm still totally freaking out. My mother is being ridiculously positive. My dad is moping about. Nobody's thinking about the reality of hospital bills."
Amy could hear Karma's stress building. "What can I do?" Amy asked.
"You can start my not screening my calls." It came out of her mouth before she could stop it. It had an angrier tone than she was expecting. She tried to remind herself what Shane had said. Fragile heart. Fragile heart. Fragile heart.
It stung Amy. "I wasn't... I... How did you know?"
"I know I've been oblivious about some things lately," Karma admitted, " but I'm still your best friend."
"I'm sorry. You can call me whenever, okay? I'm here for you." The promise began to stress her out as soon as she said it.
"Thanks, Amy." Karma said. "I love you." The words hung in the air a moment to long. Amy was about to respond when Karma spoke again. "Sorry. Should I not say that anymore?"
"I love you too, Karma. And I never want you to feel like you can't say that okay?" There it was. Amy finally sounded like herself. But she wasn't sure if that was good or bad. "I have to go. We're grabbing some reinforcements from the supermarket. But keep me posted okay. And we'll talk soon?"
"Of course," she replied. Karma ended the call and tears started running down her face.
Her mom came in the room. "Oh honey," she said, assuming Karma was crying about her illness. "No tears. No tears. This is going to be quite the life experience. It will bring new meaning to our lives!"
Karma forced herself to smile. "I know, mom. You're right." She brushed the tears off of her face and looked up at her mother. "Ready for your doctor's appointment?" Her mom nodded and took Karma's hand, helping her off the bed.
**********************************
"Hey Amy!" Audrey called from across the aisle of the supermarket. "Pop Tarts or Chewy Bars?"
"Is that even a question?" Amy replied.
"See!" Stacey shouted. "I told you everyone loves Pop Tarts." She threw them into the cart, which was quickly growing full.
Amy thought about the night that she and Karma decided they were going to try every single flavor of Pop Tart they could find. Karma's brother Zen had gotten talked into taking them to the store and they'd purchased at least 10 different flavors. They felt sick most of the night but concluded definitively that chocolate chip was their favorite.
Amy held up the box of chocolate chip pop tarts, made a funny face and took a snapchat for Karma.
Karma opened it and couldn't help wish that she was there with Amy. She replied, with a selfie complete with a smile and the words "so jealous" written in big green letters.
Amy opened the photo. Seeing Karma sitting there in the hospital waiting room, fake smile plastered across her face, it all hit Amy like a ton of bricks. It was like she was just hearing the news for the first time.
She ran down the aisles in search of Laura. She was freaking out and needed the comfort of a friend that understood. She found her standing by the chips. "Laura," Amy said, suddenly realizing she was out of breath. "I have to go."
"What? Go where?"
"Home," Amy clarified. "I have to go home. To Karma. I have to be there for her."
"Okay, sweetie you're going to have to piece this together a little more for me."
"Her mom has cancer. And she needs me there." Amy insisted.
"Did she tell you she wants you to come home?" Laura asked.
"No, but she doesn't need to tell me. I know."
"Look, I can see where you're coming from. This one is a hard call. But if you go back now, you'd be giving up a lot," Laura said. "Maybe you should wait and see how this plays out. This was the summer of you putting yourself first. Karma has other people that are there for her. You can call her every day. But why don't you wait on some more information before making any big decisions."
Amy thought about it. "It's so hard," she said. Laura looked at her questioningly. "Being away from her," Amy explained.
"I know," Laura said sympathetically, giving her a side hug. "But that's part of the reason I think you need to wait it out a bit."
"Yeah," Amy conceded, "you're probably right."
It was about an hour until Karma's lunch break and she was getting antsy. It was a bit chilly outside and the pool was empty. She found herself wishing some obnoxious teens or loud children would come just so she could be distracted from her own life for a while. No such luck. "Shane…" she whined from across the pool
"Is this about Amy?" He asked, already a bit annoyed. Whether people liked to admit it or not, Shane was a good listener, but Karma was wearing down his patience.
"I just wasn't expecting her to react this way."
"Karma, we talked about this when you called me last night. We talked about this when I picked you up this morning. Amy reacted fine. She said you could call her anytime and that she apologized for screening your calls."
"I know but…"
"Karma, what do you want from her?"
"I wanted her to get on a plane or rent a car or something and get back here." The words burst out of her. She took a deep breath. "I know that's not fair of me but it's what I want. I want her sitting with me in that hospital waiting room holding my hand and telling me it's going to be okay."
Shane got down from his guarding chair and walked over towards Karma. He looked her in the eyes. "Are you still sure that's all you want?" He asked.
"Yes!" Karma jumped down his throat. "Everyone needs to stop asking me that!"
"Okay," Shane said, stepping back. "Then you can't expect this big romantic gesture. She's here for you, in every way that she's able to be right now. And you need to accept that."
No one liked Shane's tough love. It hit people hard. Because it was true.
