Prompt: Someone does anal with Larry. Many Butz puns are made.

Pairing: Platonic Phoenix/Larry


"I am seriously regretting ever telling you I'm bi," Phoenix Wright muttered, slowly scissoring his lubed-up fingers in Larry's ass. Since he was a considerate lover, his other hand was occupied in a distracting handjob for the newbie. "And admitting to finding you even just sorta attractive. An-"

"Mmmm," Larry moaned, "enough talk, just hurry up. C'mon, I wanna see what all the fuss is about, get a little experience before I try to woo Kim Keyes... Ah, that glorious goddess of unconventional forms of loving!" His eyes sparkled at the thought of his latest 'love', and Phoenix couldn't help but frown and grip his old friend's cock a little firmer in retaliation. Sure, this was basically platonic sex, but that didn't mean it wasn't a little annoying when your partner so blatantly fantasized about someone else in the act.

"AND every single decision I've ever made to bring me here, I regret it all," Phoenix grumbled, removing his hand from his friend's rear to give himself a couple preparatory pumps. "...You ready?"

In response, Larry bent on the bed to shove his rear end in the air - and Phoenix's face - and dramatically proclaimed: "Been ready for ages, Nick! Just take me, already! In the Butz!"

There was a moment of complete silence.

Phoenix slowly leaned his face away from Larry's ass, which he was... waggling slightly now, oh god.

"Are you freaking kidding me," he said. "Larry, I can feel my boner dying right now."

Larry leaned his head back over his shoulder and gave a devilish (and strangely handsome? Phoenix felt his interest renewing just a little bit, and seriously he did not at all understand why) grin. "Oh, like you weren't thinking it. Now stick it in me."

He wiggled his rear again.

"...That's not even the way you pronounce your last name. Why," Phoenix sighed out as he lined himself up and slowly began to press in, keeping it shallow at first, "-why are you so-"

"Uhhhhmn," Larry said, incoherently and with an edge of discomfort.

"Seriously, is this the kind of pillow-talk you use with the ladies?" Phoenix took up the handjob again, keeping an eye on Larry's face to make sure the pleasure outweighed the pain as he began to deepen his thrusts.

"Of course not!" Larry retorted. "You think I would ever waste my real words of love on YO-ooooooh. That's, haa. That's -"

"Your prostrate, yeah. Watch out, I'll bet anything Miss Professional Dominatrix Kim's not gonna be as gentle about all this as me."

"Yeah, Butz with her, pain is pleasure." Larry was thrusting back into Phoenix now, his voice breathier as his pleasure began to build.

"Are you - did you just - again?!" Annoyed, Phoenix gave an extra-hard thrust, one hand on Larry's hips pulling him back and the other giving a rough twist to his cock, a deadly combination designed to punish that stupid pun with a sharp jolt of rough pain/pleasure (like Phoenix couldn't do that too!).

It worked. Larry cried out, Phoenix grinned triumphantly, more than a little affected himself, and the pace began picking up in earnest. For a few minutes, the only sounds were the slap of flesh on flesh and harsh breathing, until-

PPPFFBBBHHHTT.

They both froze.

"Um," Larry said, in a rare display of embarrassment.

"That - that happens, sometimes," Phoenix reassured, beginning to move again. "It's not really a big deal. Don't worry about - ohmygodwhat'sthatsmell?"

"...Well," Larry said. "You know, they say when something stinks -"

"LARRY, DON'T YOU DARE, I WILL PULL OUT RIGHT NOW."

"It's usually the Butz!"

"I'm never having educational gay sex with you again," Phoenix snarled, and kept thrusting away.