AUTHOR'S NOTES: So there's one chapter left on this and it will be a tearjerker. When I'm done with this, I'm hoping to go back to some of my WIPs so look for updates!
Chapter 3 One More Day
Present Day
The following morning, Sam went with Dean to the hospital—if only because it was the only way to get his brother to see his in-laws. It still felt strange to say that but seeing how uncomfortable Dean seemed, Sam avoided bringing the issue up.
Claire and Devon Allard—Melissa and Mandi's parents—were standing next to their daughter's bed and both seemed to stiffen when they saw Dean walk in.
Trying to off-set the awkwardness, Sam quickly introduced himself, shaking hands with Claire and Devon.
"Dean talked about you a lot," Claire said, giving Dean's younger brother a small smile. "How you guys moved around a lot and everything? He sounded particularly proud when he mentioned that you were at Stanford."
"Yeah, but let me guess," Devon snapped, heatedly, as he glared at Dean and then Sam. "This is the first you've heard about us and Mandi?"
Claire put a hand on her husband's shoulder when she saw his hands ball into fists. She knew he was pissed off at Dean but this wasn't the time or the place for a confrontation. "I'm sure Dean had his reasons for keeping his and Mandi's marriage a secret."
"Yeah, and what were those?" Devon retorted, his temper still high as he turned his attention to Dean. When the older Winchester didn't reply immediately, Devon barked, "I asked you a question, boy."
"Dad, stop it!" Mandi said, huffily as she sat up in bed, giving Dean a sympathetic look. "It's not Dean's—"
"No, it's your fault!" Devon shouted, enraged as he jabbed a finger in Sam's direction. "Your girlfriend died so you wanted your brother to be as miserable and heartbroken as you! Was that it?"
Sam was a split second away from decking Devon but Dean was ahead of him. Dean punched Devon hard in the face, knocking the man to the ground. "Dean!" Sam said, grabbing his brother by the shoulders and pulling him away.
But Dean wanted to go after his father-in-law again. "None of this was Sam's fault," Dean told him as Devon slowly got to his feet. "And no—I didn't tell my brother I was married. Because I always felt like it made me a hypocrite because all Sam wanted was a normal life and I always told him he couldn't have one. Even though I was the one who was married."
Looking from his in-laws to Mandi, Dean sighed and went on. "Look, I know I handled things wrong, okay? And the night I dropped Sam back at Stanford, I sat in my car thinking about how I owed him the truth. All the times he accused me of just following our dad's orders…" Looking at his brother, Dean gave him an apologetic look. "I wanted to tell you everything, Sammy. I was going to, but…" Looking at the Allards, he sighed again. "When I saw the fire and that Jessica was dead… All I could think about was if that had been Mandi."
"So you and she split so she'd be safe," Claire finished. "With all the evil and all the monsters you've seen," she said, understandingly. "—you didn't want Amanda to get hurt."
"Not by something I could protect her from," Dean replied.
xxxxx
Sam was just coming back from the hospital cafeteria when he spotted three unlikely people in the main lobby. "Bobby?"
The last Sam had seen of the grizzled old hunter, Bobby had been in a wheelchair after stabbing himself to kill the demon possessing him. The knife blade had hit Bobby's spinal cord and left him paralyzed from the waist down. The doctors had been extremely doubtful that Bobby would ever regain the use of his lower body, which had served to make the older man more than a little depressed.
But now—to Sam's absolute amazement—Bobby was back on his feet and standing with Ellen and Jo Harvelle.
While Ellen looked as good as ever—the healing scars from the hellhounds' attack were hidden by her clothes—Jo hadn't fared the attack as well. One of the demonic hound had gone for her midsection, but Jo had put one arm up in defense and the beast had ripped her right arm to shreds before clawing her left shoulder and chest.
It had taken 3 separate surgeries to repair the damage and Jo had been admitted to the hospital for 6 weeks before the doctors felt she was fit to leave.
But even though she had been out of the hospital for nearly 4 weeks now, Sam could see that Jo still had a long recovery ahead. Her left arm seemed to be doing better as she waved at Sam in greeting, but her right arm was missing just below the elbow.
As Sam looked from Bobby to the Harvelles, he wondered what was going on and more specifically, why Bobby was good as new and Jo wasn't.
"Regenerating lost limbs apparently isn't something angels can do, even at full power," Jo explained as she, Sam, Ellen, and Bobby headed for the elevator.
"Cas?" Sam guessed. He hadn't really spoken to the angel in the past week but it made sense that he would be the one to try and help Bobby and Jo.
"Gabriel," Bobby corrected, a tone of surprise in his voice. But as he looked at Sam, he gave a gruff sigh before he stopped the elevator between floors. "Look, Sam… Before we get there, there's something I gotta tell ya."
"Tell me what?" Sam asked, confused. But as he looked at the man he considered a surrogate father, he knew. "Dean told you about Mandi, didn't he?"
"I was there when they got married," Bobby replied, nodding. "Dean told me not to tell you, so I didn't. I wanted to, Sam, believe me. But you know how adamant your brother can get when it comes to keeping secrets."
Yes, Sam knew all too well about that. The past 24 hours were proof enough. "It doesn't matter," he said, firmly, before starting the elevator up again.
x
When the group got to Mandi's room, they found her alone and looking both worried and annoyed. "Dad and Dean got into it again," she explained to the others. "Mom hauled both of them out of the room. Told them if they were going to fight to do it outside.."
When Mandi suddenly seemed to go green around the gills, Ellen quickly grabbed one of the emesis bags on the table nearby and gave it to the young woman just in time for her to throw up.
After a minute or two, Mandi stopped vomiting and leaned back, taking the offered tissues to wipe her mouth.
"Rinse," Ellen directed, handing Dean's wife a cup of water.
Mandi rinsed her mouth and tossed the bag in the nearby trash can and gave Ellen a grateful look. "Sorry," she muttered. "Had chemo just a little bit ago. I forgot how much the vomiting sucks."
"I'm a mother, honey," Ellen replied, putting a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "I've been there before. Stomach flu, food poisoning… It's nothing to feel embarrassed about. I'm Ellen Harvelle, by the way," she added, figuring introductions were in order. Pointing to her left, she added, "This is my daughter, Jo."
"Hey," Jo said, simply, taking in Mandi's appearance. 'Not what I would have pictured for Dean's wife,' she thought to herself.
But it was an observation that Amanda was used to. As she shook hands with Jo, she wondered what had happened to the girl's arm. "So I guess you probably pictured Dean married to some chick with long hair and longer legs, right?"
"How'd the two of you meet?" Jo asked, curiously. Gesturing over her shoulder, she said, "Bobby didn't give us a lot of details."
While the girls talked, Sam pulled Bobby out into the hall and closed the door behind him. "Bobby, I get you promised Dean you wouldn't talk about it, but—"
Bobby held up a hand to stop the younger Winchester and sighed before he said, "It wasn't just because of you." Leading Sam over to the waiting lounge, he waited until both of them were seated before he carried on. "Dean was beat up somethin' bad. Docs kept saying his leg would always be a problem and he's always be limping. But your brother—stubborn son of a bitch that he is—didn't stop until he was back to his old self. Now when Dean and Amanda got together, Dean was afraid your daddy would find out and split the two up."
Sam let out a long sigh. Yes, John Winchester would have done precisely that. Sam remembered his one serious girlfriend in high school and when he'd been about to move, he'd exchanged phone numbers with the girl. Then he'd made the mistake of telling his dad. John hadn't liked the idea of someone being able to track them and had thrown away the girl's number and their cell phones in the nearest dumpster.
But there was something else that likely would have happened as well. Had Sam known about his brother's relationship and marriage, he would have likely thrown it back at his father if he'd seen the man. "Why can't I marry Jess and have a life? Dean married Mandi!" And that would have only kicked off round after round of fighting.
As much as he hated being kept in the dark about all this, Sam did have to begrudgingly admit he did understand his brother's rational. Rubbing his face with both hands, another thought started cropping up again in his mind. One that had been brewing ever since arriving in Milford. "Hey, Bobby? You think Mandi has a good shot with this bone marrow transplant?"
Bobby shrugged and rubbed his face with one hand. Talking with Sam about this was harder than talking with Dean. Sam hadn't been there when Dean and Mandi had met. He hadn't seen the couple as they dated, hadn't watched Dean propose, hadn't been at the brief wedding in a hospital room after Dean had been admitted after getting knocked unconscious by a wendigo. "Hard to say," Bobby finally shrugged. "But she's got a better chance with the transplant than without it."
x
Holding an ice pack to the forming bruise on his jaw as he sat on a exam bed in the emergency room, Dean looked over at Devon Allard who was sitting in the exam cubicle next to his. "I'm sorry," Dean said, finally, lowering the ice back and testing his jaw. It wasn't broken, but it still hurt.
"I'm sorry, too," Devon replied, begrudgingly. He hated admitting he was wrong, but in this case it was the truth. After a moment or two, he let out a deep breath. "Look, Dean…"
But Dean just nodded, not wanting to get into the discussion he could tell was coming. "Yeah."
Devon knew what his son-in-law was trying to avoid, but also knew that it was unavoidable. "Dean, Amanda's having the transplant in 2 days. She's really sick and…" There was a choke in his voice as he said, "And there is a… a chance she might not make it." There was a tense silence for another minute or so, as Devon considered his next words. "I'm sorry for lashing out at you and your brother. I'm scared, Dean. No parent should bury their child."
Dean tossed the ice pack aside and let the reality of the situation sink in. He'd been so worried about what to do now that Mandi was back in his life, but he'd been ignoring the biggest issue. Mandi's cancer was back and her only chance at beating the disease once and for all was a procedure that could possible be fatal. And if the truth be told, that was something that Dean wasn't ready for. How was he supposed to deal with the only woman he'd ever really loved dying?
Burying his face in his hands, Dean tried to fight the tears welling up in his eyes. Feeling someone putting a hand on his shoulder, he looked up to see Devon standing next to the exam bed. "I can't lose her," Dean said, quietly. "I screwed up before and I need another chance to make it right."
Devon gave Dean's shoulder a squeeze, but couldn't think of what to say.
xxxxx
"Dean, I want to talk to you about something," Mandi said that night. The two of them were alone in the hospital room since Dean had volunteered to stay with his wife overnight.
Once again, Dean felt like he was about to be getting into a conversation he didn't want to have, even though he knew it was one he needed to have. He changed seats from the chair he'd been sitting in to the edge of Mandi's bed as she sat up and reached for a folder on the bedside table on her other side. "What's this?" Dean asked when Mandi handed him the folder.
"My will… a D.N.R… and official stamped paperwork making you in charge of any medical decisions," Mandi explained, simply. She'd had the papers drawn up as soon as Dean had promised to come. She'd thought about giving control to her parents or Melissa, but she also knew that they would want her to fight. And it would be possible that they'd ignore the Do Not Resuscitate order. Looking at Dean, there was something else she'd come to realize. Giving her husband a slight smile, she said, "You know, we don't talk about it."
Dean set the paperwork aside and looked Mandi in the eye as he replied, "No time like the present."
Mandi thought for a moment about how best to start and finally figured she'd just talk. "When I was 10, I was in for a general physical. My pediatrician noticed that my right knee was swollen. I had an x-ray which showed a fair sized solid mass and a biopsy which confirmed cancer. I had the tumor removed and then underwent chemotherapy and radiation therapy. I went into remission when I was 12, relapsed when I was 16. The tumor was too ingrained in my leg for surgeons to remove everything so they had to amputate just below my mid-thigh. More chemo and radiation, then remission again after a year. Then relapsing again on my 21st birthday."
She paused a moment when Dean took her hand in his. His hands were rough and calloused but gentle and Mandi couldn't deny that she missed feeling his hands on her body as they made love. She wished they could do that again but with the Hickman catheter in her upper chest and the IVs in her left arm and right hand it was likely a bad idea.
Dean had apparently had the same idea because he started gently tracing down the left side of her neck with his hand. He missed feeling her soft hair between his fingers, but that wasn't important. As he gently pulled Mandi into a kiss, he knew there was something he needed to tell her. Pulling away, he looked into her blue eyes and admitted, "Sometimes… Sometimes, I'm happy you're missing you legs and your hair." When Mandi gave him a look of stunned disbelief, he looked away, ashamed of how he felt. "You weren't the kind of girl I'd date. Before you, I didn't give a crap about personality or… I wanted beautiful girls with long hair and flawless legs and big breasts."
Although Amanda had sort of known this for years, it hurt to hear Dean admit it out loud. To actually hear her husband say that she was the exact opposite of his ideal woman… that hurt worse than anything else she'd ever been through in her entire life.
"Amanda…" Dean said, looking at his girl again. "I love you. That has never changed." Realizing how bad his previous words sounded, he rubbed his face with one hand and sighed. "I don't like imagining other guys staring at your legs or running their hands through your hair. I know how stupid that sounds, but… When I first saw you, I couldn't help thinking about how amazing it would be to sleep with you, kissing every inch of your skin, touching every little scar… I've only had sex with one other woman since we separated and that was because we thought we were going to be in the middle of an angel/demon ultimate throwdown."
Mandi felt tears in her eyes and she just let them fall as she took that news in. She could understand the 'last night alive' sex, but the idea that Dean had been with another woman… "Did you love her?" she asked.
Dean immediately shook his head, kissing Mandi again. "I love you… and only you. And even if you're gone, I'm still never going to find someone to replace you."
They made out for nearly an hour with Dean kissing every inch of his wife he could while Mandi tried to do likewise, even though she still really weak.
They stopped after a while and Dean felt a surge of guilt for trying to get to second base with his dying wife. But as he pulled away, he felt a new rush of panic when Mandi's eyes seemed to glaze over. "Mandi. Mandi!" But then her hands started shaking and Dean repeatedly stabbed the call button and when the nurse came in, he shouted at her, "She's having a seizure!"
Additional nurses and Mandi's night shift doctor hurried in, pushing Dean out of the way as they started administering drugs and turning Mandi onto her side as she started vomiting.
Out in the hallway, Dean numbly fumbled with his cell phone as he dialed his brother's number. "Sammy," said, choking up on the word. "I-I need you. And Bobby and…" he didn't bother to hide the fact that he was crying as he said, "Just get here, Sammy. Please."
x
15 minutes later, the other hunters found Dean in Mandi's room in the ICU. Dean was holding her hand and his eyes were red from crying. He barely glanced up at the others as he said, dully, "She had a seizure. It was caused by a blood clot in her brain." His voice choked as he said, "They don't think she'll…" Dean started crying again and he bowed his head so the others couldn't see the tears.
Sam didn't know what to say as he looked at Amanda's unconscious form. She was intubated and on a ventilator and only the steady beeping of the monitors gave any indication she was still alive. "Maybe Cas could…"
Dean shook his head, slowly. "He tried. Nothing…" Sniffing loudly, he cleared his throat and said, "If the transplant worked… I was gonna stay here… with her. Have a house… maybe a kid someday…" Looking at his brother, Dean added, "The apple-pie life you never got to have with Jess."
Bobby, Sam, Ellen, and Jo said nothing. They just watched Dean as he stayed by his wife's side.
xxxxxxx
The fast beeping woke Dean just as daylight started streaming in through the window. He whirled around, feeling panic as he saw the numbers climb way to fast. But before he could call for help, the nurses and doctors rushed in to tend to Mandi.
Dean felt himself pulled away and when he looked, he was surprised to see Melissa standing next to him.
"She's crashing!" a doctor shouted as a nurse brought in a defibulator.
Melissa grabbed Dean's arm in a vice-like grip as the doctor tried to shock Mandi's heart back into rhythm but after nearly 5 minutes, the medical staff looked defeated as the doctor holding the paddles said, "Time of death… 5:52 am."
Melissa let out an anguished wail as she clung to Dean who was barely hanging on himself.
Devon and Claire raced up and stopped dead when they saw the monitors. Claire seemed to withdraw into her husband's arms and Devon looked shellshocked.
"I'm sorry," one of the doctors said as he came out of the room.
Looking in the room, Dean felt his world crashing around him. As he pulled away from Melissa who went to join her parents in a 3-way hug, he looked at Sam and Bobby. As he walked past them, he muttered, "I'm done."
