Chapter Three - Visitors

The soft sound of beeping reaches through the dark nothingness that surrounds me. I have no idea what it is and no real desire to find out. The silent waves washing over me pull me back under like a tide. Soon enough the beeping is gone, and I'm once again drifting without a care in the world.

I'm not sure how long I spend in that complete void before the beeps penetrate it again. It's actually really annoying. And it should stop. Definitely stop so I can go back to the quiet sleep I've been enjoying. Apparently I'm not that lucky though. Not only does the beeping continue its even rhythm, I can now feel something touching my face too. I don't really want to pay attention to it, but I don't have a choice. Besides, the touch is soft, gentle, and reassuring.

As I focus harder on the feeling, I can't help but pick up on how familiar it is. Someone is brushing my hair back so it's not in my face. I've done it a thousand times myself, but I've only felt it in a half awake, half asleep state a few times before, and definitely not recently. Huh. Only Elliot has ever dared to try to do that for me.

My thoughts are yanked away from that curious irregularity when I feel a slight weight on my arm. Again, I have no idea what it is. Whatever is causing all of this just needs to stop so I can go back to sleep again. No matter how hard I try to ignore them though, they don't go away. In fact, they get louder and stronger.

I can hear a soft murmur and strain to figure out what it is. Someone's voice nearby. No. Two someones. While both male, the voices are definitely different. I would love to snap at them both to shut up, but it's way too difficult and will require me to come further into the world of wakefulness than I am now. I'm trying rather hard to avoid that. It wouldn't be a good idea. I'm one hundred percent positive that it wouldn't.

Once more there is a gentle touch on my forehead. Seriously, they don't give up! Furious at being dragged further and further away from my peaceful world, I yank my head to the side to avoid the touch. Besides the ever present beeping, all other sounds are suddenly gone. Good. Maybe now I can finally rest.

"Did you see that?"

Oh, come on! Just stay quiet already! Stupid voices. Again I try to ignore them, not bothering to focus on figuring out what the words were. Instead I just let them float completely over my head.

"Yeah. She waking up?"

"Maybe."

Ugh. Just stop. Please. Whoever you two are, just go away.

"Liv?"

Hearing my name is a lot harder to ignore, especially when the word sends a slight thrill of nostalgia through me. I haven't heard that voice say my name in a long time, but I know who it belongs to.

"Olivia? Open your eyes," the voice repeats.

Someone is gripping my hand and squeezing tight. I focus on that, using the feeling to ground myself. Whoever it is that's clinging to me so desperately is obviously concerned. About me. Great. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don't need a guy worrying over me. This needs to be taken care of, fast. So I open my eyes.

Or at least I try to. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work, and my thought is confirmed when the second voice speaks up.

"Try, Olivia. Okay?"

What does he think I'm doing? Just taking a load off? Again I fight to get my eyes open. My eye lids are heavy though and I only manage to get them up a crack before they drift down again. It's not even long enough to give me a glimpse of the room or the owners of the two voices.

"There. That's it. Come on, Liv."

Like I need your encouragement. There is no way in hell I'm going to let either of these two guys think I'm pathetic and in need of support or assistance. I force my eyes open again. This time it's a lot easier, and after a few slow blinks I'm able to keep them open.

At first I can't make sense of what I'm seeing. It's really bright, and now that I'm generally aware I can feel a small throb of pain in my stomach.

"Hey. Welcome back."

It's Nick's voice, the second one I'd been hearing. For now I ignore him and work on putting the pieces back together again. The lights are bright, but the room is mostly empty and white. Whatever I'm lying on is soft, which is good since I'm tired and achy. I can feel something in my left arm. A quick glance reveals a thin plastic tube. There is also something in my nose and draped over my ears. It's almost as annoying as the infernal beeping.

An IV, a heart monitor, and oxygen in a bright, white room. Well, that answered that. By now I know exactly where I am which doesn't make the stupid monitor that's sounding off each of my heart beats any less bothersome to listen to.

I'd been stabbed on the job and am in the hospital. That realization sparks something inside of me, and I turn my eyes to the men at my side.

Nick sits holding my hand, his face a mix of concern and relief. When he seems my eyes on him he smiles gently and lightly squeezes my hand. I'm guessing I've been out for awhile if that relief is any indication.

"Glad you're okay."

I grunt in response. Why wouldn't I be okay? Instead of dealing with Amaro, I turn my head to my other guest. One who is not wanted.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demand, only it comes out more of a hoarse croak after the first word. Dammit.

I can see Nick turn to grab something out of the corner of my eye while I keep my attention fixed on the stocky man at the other side of my bed. He's watching me with an amused look on his face, his blue eyes glittering, and the barest trace of a smile. He knows me well enough not to be worried now that I'm awake and trying to bitch at him. Plus, he is probably expecting this kind of initial response.

"Here. Drink some."

My partner is holding a cup of water complete with a straw to my lips. I take a few sips to get some moisture back into my throat, all the while keeping my eyes locked on Elliot's. When Amaro pulls the cup away, I start in on El.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Amaro pulls back in surprise, and I can read the shock on his face. He's probably wondering who had gotten their facts about me and Elliot so wrong. If we were as close as he'd been told, I wouldn't have lashed out like this. Elliot, of course, doesn't seem the least bit concerned.

"Did you honestly think I wouldn't come just because I'm not on the force anymore?"

I shoot him my most withering glare, which probably isn't much of anything at the moment. Right now he deserves the one I give to perps that are being particularly foul. The one that would make them blanch in a second.

"You stubborn son of a bitch."

Elliot just laughs at the familiar saying. It certainly isn't the first time he's heard it from me. Honestly, I want to laugh too, but for a different reason. The wide eyed look on Amaro's face is priceless. I'm still far too ticked to do it though.

This time I turn my glare from my former partner to my current one. He'd let go of my hand awhile ago and looks at me a bit nervously.

"You called him?" I ask heatedly.

Amaro immediately shook his head in an attempt to cool my wrath.

"No. I called the captain like you said I should in the ambulance."

I groan and close my eyes. Apparently my trust in the captain understanding my message had been slightly misplaced. He hadn't gotten the drift. Amaro continues to explain so I force my eyes open and back on him again.

"I told him you were hurt and the hospital would want him there since you said he was next of kin."

"And?" I prod, curious about how Cragen had responded to the lie I'd fed Amaro.

"He just said okay. Told me to stay with you, and he'd be there as soon as he could."

Okay, so maybe the captain had gotten it. That doesn't explain Elliot's presence though. I tip my head toward him and cock an eyebrow questioningly. As usual, El doesn't need words to understand me.

"Cragen called me. Said you didn't want me to worry, but he thought I would want to know anyway."

Cragen and the others had probably come and gone by now leaving Amaro and Elliot to stay with me. I can imagine that it was rather awkward for Amaro, but he doesn't seem to be upset with me lying to him. Of course, he could just be hiding it for now.

Elliot watches me closely, his body language giving nothing away. I don't need it. I can read it all in his eyes. What I had done hurt him.

"El…"

I trail off, regret etching the word. This is what I had been trying to avoid. He is worried and likely feeling guilty as well. In my efforts to keep my injury from him, I'd only added to the pain.

Amaro seems to realize we need some time alone, so he stands and heads for the door without a word. I have a feeling he'll stay close by just in case though. He can be just as overprotective as Elliot sometimes.

When it's just the two of us, Elliot speaks up.

"Why didn't you want me here, Liv?"

His voice is quiet and sad which sends a knife through my heart. I can hear the unspoken addition easily.

Am I not good enough anymore? Is this payback for deserting you?

I reach out slowly to clutch his hand, needing to reassure him. The last thing I want is for Elliot to blame himself for my decision.

"I didn't want you to worry about me."

"Olivia, I – "

I cut him off before he can go on.

"You finally got away from all of this. I didn't want you to be dragged back in."

And I didn't want what were probably still fresh wounds to be reopened.

Unfortunately that's exactly what happens. Outwardly there isn't a noticeable change in him, but we had been partners for twelve years before he retired. I can read him like a book. The slight slump in his shoulders. The downward cast of eyes now filled with pain. The fact that even when I touch his hand he won't meet my eyes. It tells me everything I need to know.

"Elliot, look at me and listen close."

I wait until I'm absolutely sure he's paying attention before I continue. He needs to hear this.