The Experimental Arranged Marriage

Disclaimer: Yeah. Right. As if.

Chapter Three: List of Apparatus

The Rules were drawn up by dinner on Saturday night. They stood, under agreement, as follows:

This contract shall be legally and magically binding; violation of which shall result in penalties devised by non-participating volunteer signatories.

A volunteer is defined as one who, freely and independently, has signed the document, "List of Volunteers", with a witness' signature accompanying it. The document is to be found in the possession of either of Messyrs William Weasley and Remus Lupin.

A participating volunteer is defined as one independently selected volunteer for participation in the Experimental Arranged Marriage, as outlined by this contract. Any volunteer not selected for participation is to be referred to as a non-participating volunteer; two of whom will be appointed counter-signatories of this contract and witnesses for the marriage certificate.

This contract shall be signed, and countersigned, voluntarily by the two participating volunteers and the two selected non-participating volunteers.

A legal marriage shall be entered into, after signing this contract, by the two participating volunteers.

Said legal marriage shall stand for a period of one year, after which annulment is permitted.

This contract terminates after a period of one year from the creation of a legal marriage. After termination, all parties are hereby released of all terms of the contract.

Hermione, who was the self-appointed main author of the contract, looked up nervously every time anyone entered the room. Angelina had been out to get her since she'd come across the roll of parchment in Katie's possession. Hoping fervently that the secret would not come out before she had a chance to come up with an explanation not too far from the truth, Hermione headed to dinner with the others.

They discussed more specific terms over dinner; suggestions including living together (from Katie), minimum time spent together during a week (from George, after prodding by Nora), and whether or not the couple were to be permitted exclusion from the unofficial weekly dinner at the Burrow if spending time together.

It was agreed to include the first two of these, with amendments from Fred. The first was to have a time clause – there was a period of up to three months to find a place to live. The second was to be a daily requirement of six hours in one another's company – awake. After agreement, Hermione-the-scribe happily wrote them in, before asking how many names were on the list of volunteers.

"Er," began George haltingly, "I'm not sure; I gave it to Bill like we agreed. Haven't seen it since I witnessed Fred."

His twin blushed faintl, making all the girls go aww. This only served to make him blush to the ears. Fred glared at George when Ron commented on the resemblance to himself.

Fred, eager to change the subject, cleared his throat and said,

"Well, when I put my name to it, only Angelina and Katie had signed."

Nora turned to the latter in surprise.

"I thought -" she was cut off by a hand over her mouth. She wasn't informed until Katie said, sadly,

"It's supposed to goad him into action."

Had anyone been looking at Hermione, they would have seen a face that plainly said, 'Been there, done that, got the t-shirt; and guess what? It didn't work!'. Unfortunately, no-one was.

Bill came into the kitchen then, surprised by the sheer focus of the group. He sat beside Ginny and hoped no-one noticed and censored what they said.

"So, Nora," said Katie mock-casually, "Are you going to volunteer?"

"Obviously not!" Exclaimed George. Most of the room's occupants looked on in silent shock. George was the quiet, measured one usually.

Deciding to remedy the silence, Hermione pointedly reached for Nora's left hand, showing everyone the glittering diamond on her finger.

Katie, unimpressed, and Hermione, smug, were the only girls not crowding Nora and asking question after question, deciding instead to retire to a corner and whisper furiously.

Charlie, nosy as ever, sidled past the bored males and caught some of the heated exchange.

" - no chance - " Hermione murmured. Katie replied,

" - anything, if it's legal, and - "

Charlie was interrupted by Bill's hand on his shoulder. Turning towards his closest brother, he missed the rest of the girls' conversation. Glaring, all he got in return was a wink and a roll of parchment. (A/N: not the previously mentioned roll)

Unrolling it furtively while Bill ran for the far end of the room, Charlie cleared his throat for everyone's attention. The room went silent save the bickering in the corner, drawing all eyes to the girls. After a minute or so, they worked out that no-one was talking and abruptly turned to face the others.

"Er, hi." Said Hermione lamely. She prepared to give Charlie her full attention, as everybody else was doing; but Katie's voce rang out.

"I dare you to volunteer!" Shocked and/or dismayed, the group turned back.

"I can't!"

"Yes you can! You dare anything, as long as -"

"As long as it's legal and fits with my moral code. I know. But -"

"Then why not?" Katie demanded.

"I can't because - "

"Well?"

"Because I've already volunteered!" Hermione burst out, eyes wide at the volume of her reaction.

Charlie glanced down at the roll in his hands. The list of names. Well. He decided to read it out, and end the suspense.

"List of Volunteers." His voice was the only sound, everybody with bated breath.

Angelina Johnson, witness Katie Bell.

Katie Bell, witness Angelina Johnson.

Fred Weasley, witness George Weasley.

Hermione Granger, witness Ginny Weasley.

Oliver Wood, witness Fred Weasley.

Charlie Weasley, witness Hermione Granger.

Seamus Finnigan, witness Verity Smith.

Verity Smith, witness Seamus Finnigan.

Penelope Clearwater, witness Nora O'Callaghan

Lee Jordan, witness Alicia Spinnet.

A/N: sorry – this chapter seemed to hate me. I think I got all of the spellings of names right; let me know if I'm wrong. Also: you will find out about the first piece of parchment as we find out just how many girls don't get on with Hermione Jane Granger. It may make her seem somewhat OOC, but I swear as the plot thickens (claps im silly glee) it will all become clear. Thanks for reviews! Yayy! does happy dance

slaps self must get writing next chap...