Author's Notes: Muraki Slavegirl, would you happen to be named after Dr. Muraki? I'm just asking because I once discussed with some friends if Dr. Jackal, Dr. Muraki (Descendants of Darkness), Dr. Evil, Dr. Clive (Jungle Guu), Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget) and Dr. Giggles (from movie of the same name) all got their degrees from the same Evil Doctor University. I'm trying to think of other evil doctors, but I'm actually drawing a blank at the moment. I wonder what their class reunions would be like… No! You will NOT tempt me to write Dr. Jackal x Dr. Muraki. Oh what a sadistic little story that would make for… anyway, no one cares to read my evil doctor rants anymore, so on with the story.
HEVN, still wearing Ginji's body as her skin, stood outside the club and swallowed her breath. This was her chance to shine, having suddenly found herself in a man's body. She knew she wanted to do this. She'd wanted to do it since her first attendance at a show, but the fact that she'd been born anatomically female had ruined her chances. Now, trapped temporarily in a man's body, she was so close to making her impossible dream come true…
HEVN took a deep breath and stepped slowly, one foot after another, into the smoke-filled entrance of the club. She gagged slightly on the thick scent of alcoholic beverages and cigarette vapors. After a moment, Ginji's big brown eyes adjusted to the darkness of the club, and HEVN strode in with as much confidence as she could in her borrowed body.
"Excuse me," she inquired politely of a man in a red sequin top hooking some wires together. "Is this where I sign up for the competition?"
The brunette smiled warmly at her. "Well, hello, gorgeous. I don't think I've seen you around here before. Right over this way," he answered, putting a piece of paper into HEVN's hands, which were actually Ginji's hands. "Just sign the liability waver and give me your CD and I'll put you on the line-up."
HEVN handed over a small burned CD, her smile never leaving Ginji's lips. This was it. She was finally going to get to be… a drag queen. A real drag queen. She signed the form to enter amateur's night and took a seat at a table, waiting for her name… well, waiting for Ginji's name to be called, at least. She was going to take home that trophy and a yen prize in the equivalent of fifty dollars, she just knew it! She just hopped no one Ginji knew would wander in and find her using his body for her own purposes.
"Ginji-kun?" a voice asked inquiringly behind her. She cringed visibly. Great, speak of the literal devil.
"Go away, Akabane-san," she said, trying to sound her best like Ginji.
"Now, if I hadn't said anything and just made you look at me, how would you have ever known that I was Akabane-san?" the voice purred.
Confused, HEVN turned around and found herself staring into Ban's deep blue eyes. "Ban!" she cried in surprise.
Ban's lips spread in a cold smile. "Did you think only you could change bodies, Miss Mediator?"
"How… how did you know it was me?" HEVN stammered, her fingers curling around the fabric of the dress she'd barely managed to shove Ginji's broad-shouldered frame into.
"I recognized the dress as yours, Miss Mediator," Akabane in Ban's body said politely, sliding into a seat next to her. "Aren't you going to ask me what I'm doing at Amateur Drag Night?"
"I figured it was best not to know the person pleasures of the infamous Dr. Jackal," HEVN answered, nearly as smoothly as any response Akabane could have come up with himself. He raised an eyebrow and chuckled slightly in amusement.
"Good girl," he responded, never losing that cold smile that so seemed to be his signature, no matter whose skin he wore. "I'm hoping you will sing something that will lift my spirits." He raised Ban's long, spindly fingers and signaled to the bartender. "Allow me to buy you a round, as a favor from Ban-chan to his beloved Ginji-kun."
HEVN snorted. "You know Ban doesn't have any cash."
Akabane looked at her, face blank and earnest. "You'd be surprised by how much they pay nude models at the art school."
HEVN nearly choked, coughing violently on the bar peanuts she'd been nibbling on since arriving in Ginji's half-starved body. "You… DIDN'T!"
He waved her off with the hand that was delicately holding a smoking cigarette. "Of course I didn't. Ban-chan did."
"You really are the most evil bastard I have to work with, but you already knew that, didn't you?" she asked, looking him straight in Ban's eyes.
Akabane's his smile on Ban's face didn't waver. "Allow me to make that drink a double."
Meanwhile, across town, Ginji was still lying in Akabane's bed at his apartment, eyes wide. Every time he was about to drift off, he'd hear another skrit, drag, scratch, from the iguana, which would scare him back into a completely conscious state. He realized it was ridiculous… Akabane lived with the thing, so it wasn't likely the massive green lizard was going to chew his face off in his sleep or anything. Still, every time he heard that dragging noise, fear flooded through Akabane's heart and Ginji would sit up, wide-awake again.
"Ban-chan, where are you?" Ginji whined, trembling and pulling the covers up to Akabane's eyes.
Ban groaned miserably, lying stretched out on his back on Madoka's couch, a hot pack on HEVN's belly. "Can someone cramp to death?" Ban whined dramatically, putting a hand on his forehead for emphasis.
"Stop acting like you're the only one this is having a negative effect on," Shido snapped. "This hair is making my head hurt. It's a good thing I was able to prove to Madoka that I'm actually me in this body, or else I'd have no where to sleep tonight. It's a bad thing she's so soft hearted she decided to offer you a place to stay as well until the Honky Tonk opens for the day."
"Be quiet, I'm cramping. Ugh, if I live through this, I'll never make another PMS joke as long as I live!" Ban sighed.
"Stop being a baby, it can't possibly be that bad."
Ban lifted HEVN's hand off her eyes. "Want to trade bodies so you can find out?"
Shido grinned through Kazuki's thin lips. "Fate just likes me more than you, so at least it gave me something resembling a man's body…"
Ban tried to hit Shido, but being not used to HEVN's center of gravity, he just ended up with his face flat against the wooden floorboards. "Ow," he muttered.
Madoka entered the room, her slippered feet hardly making a whisper upon the ground. "I brought you both tea and some aspirin for Ban-san," she smiled gently. As though her blind eyes could see the look on HEVN's face, she added, "the butler made the tea."
Ban looked at Shido, who returned the look. They were both obviously trying not to let out sighs of relief so quickly that Madoka would be able to hear them. Even though she knew she couldn't cook, probably one of the side effects of the fact that she was blind, her feelings were still delicately sensitive about it. "Thanks, Madoka. You always take care of everything I could need…"
Oh, great, thought Ban. As if he wasn't sick enough from the side effects of being trapped in HEVN'S body… he was going to get an unhealthy dose of love, dove, and PDaffection to go with it. He was starting to think that maybe Shido was right… maybe fate did hate him. "Hey, monkey-boy, can you still signal your animals with a whistle in that body?"
"I've tried, but I don't think Kazuki can whistle. How silly, one of the four former heads of the Volts not being able to whistle, of all things…"
"Maybe you can jingle your hair to command them," Ban snickered.
A vein became apparent on Kazuki's head, reflecting Shido's anger. "Oh, and can you use your stupid pointy eye trick while you're HEVN?"
"If I could, would I be having this conversation with you?" Ban snarled. The truth was, he hadn't thought to try it. Maybe he could still use the Jyagan even in HEVN's body… but who to test it on? Madoka was blind, and he could only imagine the trouble he'd be in if he tried it on Shido…
Ban looked down to Mozart, licking HEVN's feet with a curious doggy tongue. Of course, test it on the dog! That was perfect. If it worked or if it failed, no one would know.
A few minutes later, Shido frowned with Kazuki's lips. "Snake boy, why are you staring at that dog? If you're thinking about eating it…"
"What? NO! Especially not with all the goodies here in Madoka's place. Man, you really have it good, monkey boy. Why does fate favor someone who smells like the ape house at the zoo over me?"
"Monkey house?! Take that back before I…"
"Before you what? Can't hit a girl," Ban snickered, sticking out HEVN's tongue at Shido.
"Haven't you heard? This is the age of women's liberation!"
Madoka put a hand on Kazuki's chest. "No, Shido!" she cried. "Please, remember that that's not Ban-san's body. You wouldn't give HEVN-san a black eye, would you?"
Shido sank back down into a plush red chair. "As soon as we're back in our own bodies, I'm closing my hands down on your windpipe, snake boy."
"You're on, monkey freak."
Himiko removed Shido's bandana and shoved it in his back pocket. "I'm getting sick from the smell of his sweat," Himiko answered when she caught Kazuki looking at her curiously.
"Come on now, he can't possibly smell as bad as Ban and Ginji do. They sleep in a car; he at least has the advantages of Madoka's well-furnished bathroom."
"You can lead a man to water, but you can't make him bathe in it. Present company excluded, of course," Himiko answered, suddenly feeling sheepish when she realized she was talking to Kazuki, who by all standards was a rather clean man.
"Of course. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly the standard for grunting in the dirt, repairing cars, Americanized masculinity."
"I'm glad you're not. You seem more sincere than a guy who judges how manly he is by how many quarts of oil he has in his garage."
"I don't know whether that's true; I put on as big of mask when I go out in the morning as anyone else does." Himiko looked away, Kazuki's statement stinging directly to the center of her heart. She knew what kind of mask she wore. She didn't understand what kind of mask Ban wore. She'd seen his mask and she'd tried to get around it. She was glad they'd reached their destination, because while she might recognize that what he said was true, she didn't want to discuss it.
"You sure this is Jackal's apartment?" Kazuki asked.
"I think it is, but keep in mind that I've only been here once, and that was to pick up a delivery from him when he had a thirty-nine degree fever (1) and couldn't even drag himself to work. I think if he'd been capable of standing, he would have tried to make the delivery himself, fever and all. That man lives to work."
"If by 'work' you mean 'kill in a deprived manner,' then I agree." Kazuki pushed the summons button on the front of the complex.
After about five minutes, a familiar and tired sounding voice answered, "Hello?"
"It's… Himiko," Kazuki said, not wanting to include himself because he wasn't sure of who was in the body they were talking to.
"Himiko-chaaaan?!" the voice cried out happily.
Himiko looked at her own body while Kazuki looked at Shido's body. "Ginji," they said in unison. Kazuki turned back to the intercom.
"Ginji, I'm so glad you're okay. But you're in… Jackal's body."
"Yes, and I want out. It stinks like old leather and cigarettes," Ginji whined.
"Are you going to push the buzzer and let us in to come up there, or are you going to come down?"
"I'll come down. There's a scary lizard thing up here and it's sitting on the counter and loooooooooooooooooooking at me."
"That's Shinji; I met him the one time I was here. I still have scars from the stitches. It would have been nice if Jackal had warned me that the damn thing had claws before it jumped on me," Himiko snorted, remembering the kamikaze-flying iguana.
A few minutes later, Ginji emerged from the elevator in Akabane's body, sans hat. Himiko smirked in Shido's body. "Where's your hat?"
"I kept bumping into doors with it, so I left it. It'll be there when Akabane-san returns."
Himiko laughed and reached up to mess with Akabane's hair. "You have a terrible case of hat-hair, Akabane-Ginji."
Ginji stared at Himiko. "Shido-kun, please… never ever say that again."
Himiko smirked. "I'm Himiko, that's Kazuki over there looking like me. I could say something else. Akaginji. Ginbane. Akabanji."
Ginji began to whimper and Akabane's eyes grew large and filled up with tears. "Himiko-chan is so mean," he protesting, reverting into tare-Akabane form and stomping his feet. Himiko couldn't help it, she found herself staring.
"Jackal… does not make a good small child."
"He makes a scary small child," Kazuki agreed, picking up tare-Akabanji and putting him on his head. "We should find somewhere to sit until the Honky Tonk opens, if we don't want to go up to Jackal's place with the scary iguana living in it."
Ginji in tare-Akabane form bounced around, holding onto Himiko's hair as Kazuki carried him up on Himiko's shoulders. "Let's go somewhere with food! I want to eat! I need yummies! Akabane-san is too thin; I'm doing him a favor by eating pizzas for him."
"Well, don't eat any with egg in the dough, or you'll be spending the rest of your night as Akabane in the men's room, wishing for sweet death to come and release you. Eggs make him sick, and I'm not telling you how I know that, no matter how you try to force me to tell you," Himiko huffed, crossing Shido's arms.
Kazuki sighed, a sweat drop appearing on Himiko's head. "I think it's late enough in the morning that we can go sit on the sidewalk and wait for the Honky Tonk to open…"
"Let's go to the Honky Tonk, I can't stand these cramps anymore," Ban fussed, dragging Shido out of Madoka's mansion behind him.
"Be back in the body you love to touch soon, Madoka," Shido said. He was referring to how she loved to feel his face, but that wasn't how Ban took it.
"I do not want to hear the adventures of barely legal and her boyfriend," Ban snipped, earning him a fight with Shido that lasted all the way up to the Honky Tonk's front step.
HEVN counted out her fifty dollar equivalent prize. Akabane in Ban's body smiled at her. "Yoush deserved that, thash was tha beshtest rendition osh thash song I evah heard!" Apparently, it turned out, despite weighing more, Ban had a severely lower alcohol tolerance limit than Akabane did in his natural body. Too bad Akabane didn't know that before he ordered.
HEVN grinned with Ginji's earnest 100-watt smile. "Ish thinks ish desersh this prize, WHEE! Shanks for tha drinks! Wheeeeeeeeee! I wash to go to sha Honky Tonk and show off mah prish!"
"Shounds good, I wash to go too!" Akabane-holic responded, slinging Ban's arm around Ginji's body as the two wasted youths swaggered their way inadvertently towards the place the rest of the group was converging on.
1. 39 degrees Celsius is roughly 102.2 degrees in Fahrenheit. The measurement is given in the metric system because the story is set in Japan.
