A/N : I thought I would be able to update sooner but real life kept me busy lately and I'm sorry for the delay :) I hope House & Cuddy aren't OOC, I try to keep them in character even though it might get fluffy ~ more than planned ~ because I need some fluffyness in my life especially after the season finale and all its crap...

Thank you for the sweet reviews and as always I apologize for my ~ possible ~ grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language, I wish I could do better.

Enjoy

xoxo


chapter 3

By the time Jerickson disappeared in his office, House had succeeded in making his way out of the room. He was hardly limping, growling at every step but he couldn't care less, he had this stupid goal in mind, he had to leave the hospital. He stopped in the hallway, panting. Two nurses – obviously hired by Jerickson to watch him, grabbed the cranky doctor by his arms, he didn't even fight, he was too weak...

xxxxxx

"You can't see him, I'm sorry"

Cuddy gasped, she was coming from Princeton to see House and she would see House.

"Dr. House works in my hospital, I called Dr. Jerickson, I have to see him."

"He tried to run away, we put him on sedatives, you can't visit this patient unless you got an authorization-

" Listen, I'm a hospital administrator I know how these things work, if you need me to sign any paper of make any call I will. But we can also stop wasting time and you can tell me where I can find my employee. Or is it too much to ask ?"

She slowly crossed her arms against her chest, staring at the nurse with her well-known bossy look, waiting for her to cave. If she was right, it would take less than 5 minutes...

" Alright, second floor, room 215. I would be careful if I was you, sedatives or not, we don't know how these patients can react."

" Trust me I know him and I'll be just fine. Have a good day"

Cuddy sighed, her mind was harassed with questions, why did House try to run away ? What about the sedatives ? Was he okay ? Was his leg okay ? Would he talk to her ?

She shook her head as she reached the door, she had to calm down and go ahead, less thinking more acting.

"I'm fine, I'm not planning on running away anymore." House grumbled, probably convinced Jerickson was the one in the room. She noticed he sounded sleepy which wasn't surprising since there was a significant dose of lorazepam in his system. She felt a wave of guilt rushing through her veins and swallowed hard, nervously pulling a wayward brown lock behind her ear.

"Hi.."

She saw him tense as he heard her voice, he obviously was surprised but didn't answered back, instead he grabbed a pillow and buried his face into it, mumbling.

" House, can you for a second stop acting like a kid and behave like an adult ?" Cuddy bit her lip, she was already attacking him and she knew it wasn't the right thing to do, especially not after what happened. She took a deep breath and moved towards the bed.

" Are you...okay ?" She gently tugged at the pillow, forcing him to look at her. He growled.

" Go home, I don't need you."

She sighed, of course she wasn't naive enough to think he wouldn't be mad at her. But she knew she shouldn't give any credit to his words, he was angry, frustrated and in pain...

" Fine. I'm going to sit right here and wait until you decide to talk to me. You can whine as much as you want I won't leave this room unless I get kicked out which isn't an option actually."

She sat in a chair, grabbed a book from her purse and pretended to read. They played this I-am-totally-ignoring-you game for half a hour until the silence in the room got too awkward to deal with.

House slowly sat up, watching his boss, she was too stubborn to give up and dammit how did she manage to get prettier days after days ? He did his best to ignore the feeling in his chest and coughed to make her understand he was ready to get into a conversation.

"Why are you here ?"

"Wilson told me you overdosed, I wanted to check on you, be sure you were okay..."

" Please Cuddy, you could have called Jerickson, you could have sent anyone else. Why are you here ?"

She closed her eyes, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

" You're an important part of my...hospital, I wanted to make sure-

" Cut the crap already, you're not here to check on your hospital's property !"

" Right, I'm here because I do care about you, why is it so surprising in this twisted mind of yours to admit people actually care about your life ? There's no purpose in it, I'm here as a friend, I'm here to help you.."

"I don't need your fucking help !"

He yelled, making his boss jump up at the shock. He wouldn't accept pity of any sort, especially pity from the only woman who meant something to him. A woman he thought was different. He didn't want to be friends with her, she had given up on him, on them while he needed her and they couldn't go back. The anger was still here and it didn't seem to want to go away anytime soon. He blinked, she had to leave, she had to leave him alone, he couldn't stand the sight of her, he couldn't stand her scent, he couldn't stand her voice. The Vicodin was nothing compared to Lisa Cuddy, he was obsessed, he was addicted and he needed her, he needed her too much.

"So that's it ? You refuse to get helped ?"

"I don't want you to help me. We're not going to reconcile. Remember ?"

She saw the sadness in his eyes and it hit her, he was still hurting and it was her fault.

"I'm sorry, I should go. I will ask Wilson to come over and I'll go back to Princeton." She firmly grabbed her purse and stood, glancing at his pale face. He looked weak, he was nothing more than the ghost of himself and she better ran away before bursting into tears in front of him.

" You're an idiot."

Cuddy froze.

" Your mother is right, nobody is going to put up on you. You're going to try to move on, you might get a new boyfriend, maybe get married but you'll never be happy. Your fears make you miserable, you hide yourself under this carapace, you lock your issues behind doors, oh boy Cuddy, I'm not the only one who's screwed up in there. Who do you think you can help me if you can't even help yourself ?" His voice was surprisingly softer and she felt her heart beating faster than it was supposed to. " I gave you everything I thought was right for you, I opened up, I bounded with your daughter but it wasn't enough, you needed something more and you've never told me what it was...I'm a moron but I did try to make you happy."

" House, we don't need to-

" See, that's the problem, I'm not the only one avoiding some subjects..."

" Why did you take the Vicodin ?"

"Geez Cuddy, I thought you were dying ! It was just one pill, one stupid mistake, are you going to hold it against me for the rest of your life ?"

" I needed you to be with me without the drugs between us and... I shouldn't have broken up with you."

He raised an eyebrow, wondering if he hallucinated the words she just said.

" You wouldn't have relapsed if we were still together"

"You know it isn't true, addicts relapse. After one year there is a 85 percent chance of relapse and after two... "

" Of course they did and I tried to ignore that fact for months, I unconsciously wished you would change... House, what did we do to us ?"

" I told you I was the most screwed person in the world, I told you I was going to hurt you, I did. I married a hooker, it must have been the worst thing I could have done to you and I perfectly knew that. I'm a terrible person Cuddy and you're right I can't do better."

She bit her lip, staring at her feet.

" Did you sleep with her ?"

" Is that even matter to you ?" she nodded, he shook his head no. " Couldn't..." She sighed in relief, he frown. " You're... dating anyone ?"

" Of course not."

He smiled weakly then reached down to rub his thigh, wincing at the feeling. The drugs in his system were starting to fade away and the pain wouldn't give him a break once they would be gone. House glanced at Cuddy, she looked concern but didn't make a move, he had to deal with it by himself, it was his leg, his pain, his business.

"Something has to change" He mumbled, staring at the ceiling. "How long do you plan to stay in Chicago ?"

" Is that even matter to you ?"

" Depends on your answer."

He smirked as she tried to hide a grin, oh God he had missed that !


tbc