Well, I`m not quite sure where this one came from but I`m kind of iffy on it. Any feedback would be welcomed with open arms.
Prompt: EnvyFandom: Final Fantasy IVCharacter: KainWord Count:518
Envy.
It's an unpleasant word despite it's smooth, pleasing sound. Envy is also the root of all the suffering Kain Highwind has endured at the hands of Golbez and Zemus. They have since been defeated, but envy is a far hardier foe, and it does not fight alone. It wages a war of attrition against him with a well equipped army that is oh so slowly wearing away his defenses.
Envy, jealousy, depression, guilt, worthlessness.
It's the guilt that eats away at him the most. His friends have found love. True, endless, undying love. He should be happy for them, and yet he's not. Rosa is supposed to love him, not Cecil. And so, once again, envy raises it's ugly head. But Cecil has everything Kain wants, just like a King's Pet would. When he stops to think about it Kain knows this is unfair. Cecil's life has been anything but easy or fair and now that he finally has something good in his life his own best friend turns against him. And once he starts thinking like this Envy retreats, letting guilt take it's place. Guilt is a nastier foe by far. It eats away at all the good in his heart and shows him what a worthless and horrible person he really is. It's these feelings that allowed Zemus such a strong hold on his mind to begin with.
The breaking point finally comes, and his defenses crumble. He sits around a campfire with Cecil and Rosa as they travel back to Baron, sharing stories of their adventure. Kain feels the envy and guilt battering him to the ground as he watches his two best friends sit so close together, so comfortable in one another's presence; so clearly in love. Kain is ready to give up then and there; to break all ties with his friends and his home and run, but then Cecil starts telling a story and something else happens altogether. Kain remains in his seat, trapped and transfixed by the words spilling from the Paladin's mouth. It's a story about a mountain. The very mountain where Cecil himself became a Paladin.
And just as quickly as his defeat had come, Kain faces a turning point in the battle against himself. There are new soldiers on the battle field, and they're on his side. He now faces the chance for redemption. The chance to prove to himself that he can overcome these emotions and be truly at peace and happy for his friends. The chance to prove to himself that he's not the worthless and twisted being he thinks he's become.
His decision is made and already Kain feels more at peace with himself. As soon as he can he will leave Cecil and Rosa and go to this Mount Ordeals himself. He will prove his worth and then he will return home. For the first time in along time Kain feels something strong enough to push the envy and the guilt back. Something strong enough to force them into retreat and make him think that perhaps he can actually win this war.
Hope.
