Besarki: My roommate is sitting behind me singing. My ears are bleeding. TT_TT
Not much to say here. Kinda a crappy way to bring Anna in, but what the hell. I'm still not sure how I'm going to write her in this story. Probably mostly pacifistic but doesn't give a shit about anything Tamao has to say. I don't know if I'll eventually write her differently. We'll see.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mandy's gonna take your pants off!"
"Beat your pants off."
"Beat your pants off!"
~Billy and Grim, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
(Rather than use this section for songs relating to the chapter like I usually do, in Kokkuri Angels, I'm going to fill this spot with amusing quotes or funny songs)
Kokkuri Angels: Episode 2
"EAT IT!"
"NEVER!"
"EAT! IT!"
"NOOOOOO!"
"JUST EAT THE DAMN SANDWICH, PONTY!"
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE A SANDWICH, KONTY!"
"SO WHAT?! JUST EAT IT!"
"NEVERRRRRRRR!"
"What are you two sillies doing?" Tamao-chan asked, walking into the room.
Both Ponty and Konty turned to stare at her, then turned back to each other. An evil smile appeared on both of their faces.
"Hey, Tamao-chan...C'MERE!"
"EEK!"
***********************************************
Episode 2: What Doesn't Kill You, Probably Will Next Time
***********************************************
"I like onion," Tamao-chan announced quietly, peering deeply into her manila folder of a menu.
"On pizza?" Ponty returned in disbelief, slapping his menu down on the table.
Tamao-chan tilted her head. "Why not, Ponty?"
"Because that's totally and completely nasty," Konty answered for his friend.
"Shit nasty!" Chimed in Ponty. Konty threw him a weird look then turned out to stare out around the small diner. Miscellaneous decorations littered the entirety of the restaurant, as did about a dozen or so moose, for whatever reason.
Tamao-chan frowned. "I think it's good. You should try it."
"If we did that then our breath would stink as bad as yours."
"Hey!"
"Excuse me..." An elderly waiter wearing a black tuxedo and sporting a small black mustache as well as a pin-on nametag with the name, "Alfred" written on it interrupted the trio's bickering as he placed a small black folder on the table.
For a moment, no one said anything, and then Tamao-chan broke the silence.
"What's this?" She asked, peering at the mysterious folder.
The waiter cleared his throat. "Tis a letter from the dark-haired gentleman over there."
Tamao-chan glanced at the other customers in the restaurant. All but one of them had dark hair, and the one who didn't, didn't exactly fit the "gentleman" description.
"You might as well open it," Konty suggested.
Tamao-chan stared at the dark folder in her hands. "But what if it blows up on me?"
Ponty shrugged. "It's only you."
Tamao-chan puffed up her cheeks, her eyes slanting in fury. Ponty just shrugged. His former masters had always told him not to lie
"Not to mention the fact that you're like, an angel or something, supposedly. So, theoretically, shouldn't you be...I dunno, immortal or something?"
Tamao-chan immediately stood up. "I'm immortal?!" In that instant, a silver can collided with the magical girl's head.
"WILL YOU SHUT UP OVER THERE?!" Someone screamed from across the diner.
The pink-haired girl dropped back down into the booth, her face bright red and her head down in embarrassment. "Sorry," She whispered under her breath.
"Way to go, idiot," Ponty half whispered, half hissed.
"I said I was sorry!" Tamao-chan yelled back at him. Another can came out of nowhere and slammed into her.
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO--"
Tamao-chan clamped her hands over her ears to drown out the horrifying screech of the screamer's voice. She didn't like loud noises.
Or people who spoke like demons.
To try to distract herself from the screaming demon that kept assaulting her with its voice, Tamao-chan reached forward and picked up the black folder. Slowly, she opened it.
YOU DIE AT MIDNIGHT!
"EEEEEK!" Tamao-chan screamed. A moment later, someone's hard shoe impacted the magical girl's head.
Tamao-chan instantly shot up from her chair. Enough was enough.
"OKAY! Whoever it is who has this big problem with me, please stand up now!"
Nearly the entire restaurant rose to their feet. Tamao-chan's defiant expression dropped like a wilted flower.
"Shoulda seen that one coming," Konty snorted, flipping the page in his menu.
Tamao-chan pouted. This was so not fair.
"I'm a superhero! I save your lives and everybody hates me?!"
"Sounds about right," Answered the one person who hadn't risen to her feet.
Tamao-chan stared at the speaker, who went on ignoring her, flipping through her magazine with little interest in what went on around her.
The girl was young, only slightly older than Tamao-chan herself. However, while the age difference might not have been that large, it was definitely noticeable as the girl was very clearly older, though whether the huge age difference was physical or mental was another question. In contrast to Tamao-chan's attire, the quiet girl's outfit was a deep purple and she had a flower of identical color woven into her dark blond hair.
Different, yet exactly the same.
Had Tamao-chan stumbled upon another magical girl? Could such a feat be reality? Could it be possible?
Could Tamao-chan be any more corny?
After a moment of hesitation, Tamao-chan began to ask, "Are you--" only to have the other girl cut her off.
"Yes," The girl answered. "I'm as magic as you are." She flipped the page in her book. "Though my magic makes yours look like a parlor trick."
Tamao-chan's jaw dropped. Of all the nerve! "I just met you and you're already being rude!"
The girl wasn't bothered. In fact, she seemed only vaguely aware that it was a person she was conversing with and not an intelligent monkey or something. Then again, with this genius, there probably wasn't much of a difference. "No, I'm being honest. Miss Hell always told me not to lie."
Tamao-chan's angry face suddenly went entirely white. She must have misheard. This couldn't possibly be a pupil of... "Miss...who?"
The girl shot her an irritated look. "What, you need me to spell it for you?"
The pink-haired girl waved her hands rapidly in front of her. "Nonono. It's fine, you don't have to."
"H-E-L--"
"I SAID YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPELL IT!"
"-P-M-E. I-A-M-B-E-I-N-G-A-S-S-U-L-T-E-D-B-Y-A-F-R-E-A-K-W-I-T-H-P-I-N-K-H-A-I-R."
"...?"
"What did she just spell?" Ponty whispered.
Konty shrugged. "I dunno, but I definitely heard ass in there somewhere."
"I caught the first word and the last few. Help and pink hair."
"Help, my ass has pink hair? That's a strange thing to tell a stranger."
"Maybe that's not what she was spelling."
"Then what?"
"Uh, I don't know. Help me, my ass, and my pink hair?"
"That doesn't even mildly make sense."
"I'm just throwing out ideas here, Konty!"
"Yeah, but they're all stupid, Ponty! Like you!"
"Oh, so now we're resorting to name-calling? Well, let's see how you like this, momma's boy!"
"GASP! How dare you! Eat fork, evil-doer!"
"RAH!"
"GRR!"
"Are they always like this?" The dark magical girl asked.
Tamao-chan sighed. "Unfortunately, yes."
"Wow, I'm sorry."
"Me too."
"Hum...I have an idea." The magical girl lifted her hand and twirled her finger. "Mae. Ushiro." Both of Tamao-chan's familiars turned upon hearing two bizarre words spoken by the scary girl. Their eyes widened.
Two swirling purple clouds appeared on either side of her, fitting violently and gradually spinning faster and faster until they exploded and two demons took their place.
"Get rid of the insects."
Mae and Ushiro exchanged glances with their master and then with each other. Evil grins took hold on their faces. The two readied there weapons and then burst forward, instigating a chase after the two now screaming animal-spirits.
Tamao-chan stared in disbelief and the girl who had returned to reading her magazine. If she'd had any doubt that she was hell-trained it was gone now.
In an almost muted voice, Tamao-chan asked, "Who are you?"
There was a momentary pause before the girl stopped and put her book down. A quiet sigh escaped her.
"I'm your worst nightmare dipped in a vat of bitter chocolate and then handed a flamethrower that I don't know how to use all the while chanting curses which will haunt you all the way to your next life and probably cause you to smash your head against the wall a few times which is fine because you're probably a dumbass anyway not that that has anything to do with chocolate or mushrooms which I am in relation to via their poisonous bits like the venom of a snake all the way from the fifth circle of hell...but most people just call me Anna-san."
Anna-san, the magical girl who was literally from hell, stared at Tamao-chan boredly for a moment before going back to her reading like she wasn't there.
Not that that stopped Tamao-chan from voicing her shock and disbelief. "You're Anna-san?! Miss Hell's star pupil?!"
Anna-san snorted. "Would I have demons as familiars if I wasn't?"
"Uh...um..."
"That's what I thought." She snickered. "Well, I suppose it's time for the three of us to head out. Oh-Crap Oni has been pretty quiet for the past few days, but he should be acting up any day now so the three of us ought to be ready for him."
"OH-CRAP ONI?!" Tamao-chan's eyes bulged. "YOU FIGHT OH-CRAP ONI?!"
"No, that sleezy kid down the street does. Duh, I do! Why would I have said it if I didn't, numbskull?" She rolled her eyes, slapping a handful of cash down on the table.
"Oh...I didn't...I mean, I...oh." Tamao-chan stared at her feet, and for a moment Anna-san felt a little bad.
"Do you want to come with us...pinkie?"
"Tamao-chan!" The magical girl introduced. "And yes! We should join forces!"
"Who said anything about joining forces?"
"Don't be silly! Come on!" Tamao-chan rushed up to her and grabbed her arm, proceeding to drag her out of the diner. "I'm sensing the beginning of super dooper pooper scooper partnership!"
Anna-san gasped in horror as she was forcibly heaved outside.
Beyond them, the four familiars sat next to eat other on one of the empty tables.
"Do you think she knows that we never actually ate?" Ponty asked.
Konty sighed. "Probably not. Jeez, now we're going to be starving all day," He whined.
Ponty groaned. "I suppose worse things have happened."
Konty couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Yeah, like us getting partnered with an airhead."
His friend laughed. "Aww, yeah! Hitting the nail on the head, Konty!"
"Hehehe. I do my best, Ponty!"
Squabbling like old women, Ponty and Konty padded out the front door, leaving two demons sitting by themselves behind them.
The two shikigami exchanged a "Meep," and a "Roo," before bouncing off the table and sailing through the open door.
Just as the six departed from the small diner, a cursing Ryu-san emerged from the bathroom, desperately praying that he hadn't missed his arch nemesis' reaction in the moment which would surely be his crowning glory.
His eyes zipped to their table and his jaw dropped when he discovered them gone. Had he missed the fantastic moment where his infuriating foe and her pain-in-the-ass familiars had disintegrated into the atmosphere in a ball of flaming victory?!
"Sir, your pants are on backwards," Tamao-chan's former waiter informed him.
Ryu-san immediately grabbed the instantly startled waiter by the collar. "Tamao-chan! The infuriating nuisance with the bubble gum pink hair and those two absolutely vile creatures that follow her around! Tamao-chan! Tell me, was her glorious demise as grand as I had planned it to be? Was she vaporized in a wondrous instance of shimmering smoke? Has my retribution finally been achieved?!?!"
"Tamao-chan, sir?" The waiter asked, collected once more.
"The pest," Ryu-san hissed insanely, pointing to Tamao-chan's table, "that sat over there!"
Understanding dawned upon the balding man's face. "Ah, yes. The young lady with the extravagant clothing."
"YES!" Ryu-san shouted, excitement overtaking him. "Her end! Her leave! Was it magnificent?!"
The waiter frowned. "I don't believe so. She merely walked out the door like anyone else would. Very casual. That other young lady with the two demon creatures accompanied her."
Ryu-san gasped, dropping poor Alfred. A look of utter horror crossed his face. "THERE'S ANOTHER ONE?!"
Alfred dusted himself off. "Yes, sir."
Ryu-san swore under his breath. "THAT must be how that brat escaped. The second magical girl must have pushed Tamao-chan out of the way in time to miss the lightning bolt!"
"Lightning bolt, sir?"
Ryu-san threw him the strangest look. "She...she activated the trap, didn't she?" His voice became desperate. "DIDN'T SHE?!"
Alfred rose to his feet. "I do not recall seeing anything even vaguely resembling a trap, sir."
"The paper," Ryu-san gasped. "Did she flip the paper?"
"The one with the death threat on it?"
"YES! TELL ME SHE FLIPPED IT OVER!"
The waiter frowned. "I can't imagine why she would do such a thing, sir."
"I WROTE "Flip" ON THE BOTTOM OF IT!" He ran to the table, opened the book and then flipped the paper. "LOOK!" He shrieked.
A moment later, lightning rained down from the ceiling and struck him. He collapsed in a smoking heap, despite the fact that it should have kill him. Hey, this is a kid's show! People don't just die here! That's totally not allowed!
Footsteps echoed through the now quiet establishment. They ceased when the elderly waiter paused directly in front of the smoking supervillian.
Alfred chuckled quietly. "Pity. That always does seem to happen, doesn't it?"
"Shut up, old man."
STAY TUNED FOR SCENES FROM THE NEXT EPISODE!
For the longest moment, nobody spoke.
But of course, a child's attention span doesn't have the longevity required to maintain a prolonged quiet and it was only so long before Hana broke the silence.
"I don't think the creators of this show like Tamao very much," The little boy said from his place on his mother's lap.
Anna smiled lightly and hugged him to her as if he were a prized teddy bear.
"I still can't get over Oh-Crap Oni," Anna mused.
Hana peered up at her. "Why is that funny."
She snickered, combing a hand through his hair.
"Someday, Hana. Someday."
On the far right, Jeanne rolled her eyes while Men reached toward the TV.
"Daa!" He squeaked, holding his stubby little baby fingers out to the screen. He'd been doing this since the lightning flashed. She was still trying to convince him that not all lightning was linked with his father.
"That's not him, Men," She whispered into his little ear.
He growled and tried harder, smacking her in the face when she wouldn't let him go.
Hana laughed hysterically at the act.
"Hana!" Anna scolded him quietly.
He shrank down. "Sorry, Kaa-san."
She let out a short breath and let her eyes trail the room, allowing them to roam across everything within it...
And fall on Tamao, sitting all alone in the middle.
She sighed. Pick now of all times to grow a heart.
True to form, rotten luck. True to form.
"Hana," Anna whispered. The little blond boy glanced up at her. "Go bug Tamao for a little while. I have to go cook dinner."
"Really?" He asked, not really believing what she was asking.
"Yeah, drive her nuts and make her never want to have kids." She winked.
Hana grinned. Like he was gong to pass up his mother was telling him to be bad. "Okay!"
Immediately, Hana jumped off her lap and ran over to Tamao, tackling her as Anna rose and departed the room.
As she rounded the corner, she saw someone she wasn't expecting. She fought the smile, but it appeared anyway.
"Yoh," She greeted.
He grinned. "Going soft?"
Anna leaned forward and kissed him lightly, before backing away and shooting him a strong smirk.
"Not on your life," She promised, flicking his nose, and walking past him.
Yoh laughed and shook his head, his eyes glued to her retreating figure as she disappeared down the corridor.
Besarki: Crappy commentary for a crappy chapter. Sigh. I hope it at least struck you as kind of cute since it wasn't funny. I hate writing past midnight.
I seem to break the fourth wall left and right in this story. Hmm, that makes me think that I should make a personal challenge out of that. I should make a chapter to see how many times I can break it.
I don't know how to say Mom/Dad in Chinese so I just wrote that thing with Men in English. If it irks anyone, give me a translation and I'll change it.
Blah. I have a oneshot called Morning Sun which features Hana and Anna about half done so look for that this week. Also, the next Living For Tomorrow chapter is started and about a quarter done. Dunno when that'll be done. Probably early March. I really need to finish Time: Redux Chapter 1, too, but it's incredibly difficult. TT^TT Not even touching Fire in the Sky right now so if you're looking for news on that one, sorry.
Also, and I'll say this in LFT and Morning Sun, as well, but I updated my hidden photobucket album with the Shaman Files from volumes 19, 22, and 23. So, that means that it now contains files from 15, 16, 19, 22, 23, and Mentalite. Have no idea what I'm talking about? Then you obviously didn't read LFTM! Anyway, my hidden photobucket album (not the one on my profile) is where I put up various materials from my KZBs as well as some other misc crap. You want the link and password? You have to ask me. Don't think you can be a total stranger. You have to have either reviewed a few times and come off to me as trustworthy (you can't post the files ANYWHERE. If they leave my photobucket account, you're dead. I know who has the password) or conversed with me through PMs. So, yeah. Those who already have the password and account name, go crazy. Those who don't and want it, ask nicely. :)
Cameos:
The Waiter: Tamao-chan's waiter was Batman's butler, Alfred Pennyworth.
The Black Spot: The Black Spot signifies death in the book Treasure Island. It is also used in the animated adaption, Treasure Planet.
Urg...I am so damn tired...and I still have to finish The Leopard's Meow? Groan...
Didn't really have anything to write about for The Leopard's Meow this chapter, but I didn't want to start skipping chapters with it yet so here's a craptastic, pulled out of my ass short.
The Leopard's Meow: Are You Smarter Than An Elementary Schooler?
"Hello, hello! Ladies and gentlemen, young and old, I'm your host Marco Saint Marco here welcoming you to today's episode of..."
"ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A ELEMENTARY SCHOOLER?!"
"Ah ha haha. That's right. Let's meet today's contestant, shall we?" The host turned to his right, and extended an arm. "All the way from New York City, it's Chocolove McDonnell!"
The red curtain pulled back revealing a waving Chocolove. "Hi everyone, I'm--"
"And now let's see his opponent!" Marco Saint Marco yowled, cutting him off.
The blue curtain to his left opened, revealing none other than Hao's most loyal subject, Opacho!
"Is that--" Chocolove began to ask, only to have the host cut him off once again.
"All right, ladies and gentlemen, are you all ready to beginnnnnn?"
"YEAH!" The crowd roared.
"ALL RIGHT! LET'S GET ON WITH THE SHOW!" He whipped out a small index card. "First question: Who was the youngest member of Hao's team, Hoshigumi?"
Looking confident with a big smile on his face, Chocolove opened his mouth to answer.
"Opacho."
Chocolove's expression dropped, and his head whipped to the doe-eyed opponent who had just beaten him to the punch.
"That's rrrrrrrrrrright!" Marco Saint Marco crowed, dancing around and doing a split for reasons unknown. He whipped out a second index card. Chocolove braced himself, he was gonna get this one. "What's a six letter word beginning and ending with the same letter?"
"Opacho,"
"CORRRRRRRRRRRECT!" Steam poured out of Chocolove's ears. "Next! Who uses her hair as a medium for her oversoul?"
"Opacho."
"YESSIRE!
"Who was originally named Ohachiyo?"
"Opacho."
"THAT'S RIGHT!"
Meanwhile, Chocolove was absolutely seething with rage. He was going to get this next one
"Who was mistakenly written as a boy in the English dub?"
DING DING DING!
"Oh ho ho! You all know what that means!"
"A FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!" The audience screamed.
"Thaaaaaaaaaaat's right! Which means it's time for our lightning round!"
"What the hell does breaking a fourth wall have to do with lightning rounds?" Chocolove demanded while Opacho sat there looking like a braindead sheep.
"Ah ha ha ha. You ask too many questions," Marco Saint Marco bizarrely laughed, chucking his shoe at the unsuspecting shaman's head. "Anyway, you both have dry erase boards in front of you. Please neatly write down what you believe to be answer to my previously asked question! If you don't remember it, then that sucks for you cause I'm not repeating it!"
Growling, Chocolove picked up the board. How the hell was he supposed to know the answer to this? The question didn't even make sense. Still, if the current trend held...
"Alright, show us your answers!"
Both flipped around their boards. Chocolove's displayed the name, "OPACHO" all in caps. Opacho's board displayed what might have been a horse, though was probably a couch or something.
"The answer is: OPACHO! Two points to the ugly kid!"
"HEY!"
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"Well, how about that! It's time for the Super Round where every question is worth three points!
Chocolove grinned. Now that he knew how the game went, he was gonna win.
"Besides Anna and Hao, who has been the only other shaman you know to have displayed some form of reishi?"
"OPACHO!" Chocolove shouted.
"CORRECT!" He drew a new question. "Who follows Hao around everywhere he goes, whether it be the shaman fight or the bathroom?"
"OPACHO!"
"DING DING DING! Who's acting the most out of character on this gameshow besides me and the ugly kid?"
"OPACHO! AND I'M NOT UGLY!"
"RIGHT AND WRONG! Who read the officiants heart during the Shaman Fight?"
"OPACHO!"
"Who was the leader of Team Funbari Onsen?"
"OPACHO!" Chocolove screamed.
BRRRRRRRRRR
The host cringed at the buzzer. "Oooo, I'm sorry. The answer was actually Yoh. That incorrect answer is going to cost you five million points."
"WHAT?!"
!
"Oh, hoho! It looks like we're out of time! Everybody give a big hand to our contestants!"
Everyone in attendance clapped and threw rubber hands onto the stage. Chocolove cringed while Opacho retained her doe-eyed stare.
"Alright, alright! Now it's time to present the winner with her prize!" The crowd began to cheer as a giant golden bulb lowered from the ceiling.
The suspense became too much for some of the people and they cheered louder, causing the ball to lower faster.
"Don't drop the ball!" Chocolove urged, jokingly.
The ball stopped and the crowd went silent. He glanced around. "What?"
Someone in the audience threw a lone tomato at the failed comedian. "YOU SUCK!"
Chocolove seethed. "You know what, screw this. I'm going to go raid the Asakura's fridge."
Totally ignoring him, the ball began to lower once more and the crowd erupted in excited shrieks.
Growling, he made his way off-stage. He needed to find Horohoro or Ren. At least those two would listen to him. And Tamao was good for listening to jokes! And Pirika! Grinning like a mad dog, he quickened his pace, headed for the for person with an open ear.
As Chocolove departed beyond the curtains, he heard the crowd cheering as Opacho was awarded her bag of award-winning dog food.
Besarki: OOC FTW! Blech. We're going to pretend I didn't write that monstrosity. Next time I don't have an idea, I just won't write anything. Ick.
Ugh...oh yeah, before I go, I wanted to urge you guys to go read Nyalowlo625's Avatar fic. She was my first friend on this site and we've been buds since I was 15 and she was 13 (all the way back when I wrote Teen Titans fics. Sheesh. Blast from the past). Anyway, it's her first story and it kicks ass. She's already got a bunch of reviews, but it's seriously fantastic. GO READ IT! DO IT! DO IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE AVATAR! DO IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER NAME! JUST DO IT!
It is now 3:45. Bed time now? Please? *Runs away crying*
