Author's note [as an homage to My Immortal, since this is inspired on it]: If u dunt wanna reed dis den go away! If u h8 dis storey den ur a prep or a posr! Or, to kip wid da storey, an athiest or a la veyan! I wunt updeit till I haz 4 gud reviews!

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We've sat on the bench for quite some time, holding our hands (or rather, paws, since we were on our anthro animal forms), as if we were already an official couple; while we both felt the mutual love, we haven't yet confessed our feelings. I rest my head against his shoulder, and he nuzzled me, then proceeding to lick my head fur between my ears.

"Hey fags, are you coming to the concert or not?"

He stopped what we were doing and we looked to our left, where there was Hermione. She had painted her hair, lips and nails black, had dressed "goffic" clothes and had a gorgeous dragon tatoo on her naked navel, plus an inverted cross on each arm and a satanical star on her left knee. She had converted to satanism before I came to Hogwarts, so I never knew her old (and presumably boring) know-it-all personality; now she was a true slut, like Stella Cadella Princez Çolaria, having sex with any boy from Gryffindor and Slytherin.

"Yes. Why, are you jealous for not fucking John?"

John blushed a little, and hold my paw tighter.

"Well, see ya, faggots"

The royal whore then departed, taking with her Lucy Pevensie, another slut like her and possibly her lesbian lover. Fuck, I hate libbies like her, always annoying gay werewolves like me. Bah, who cares about a worthless piece of shit when you have someone like John right next to you, and that not only loves you but takes you to the concert? My wolverine returned to his human form, while I stayed as a werewolf ferret; I could feel he wanted me to stay as so.

"Thanks for taking me to the concert" I said, as sensually as I could

It worked; he blushed, said an "it was the least I could do" crap and then we looked at each other and we kissed for the first time. He was a passionate kisser, penetrating my mouth with his tongue and dominating my own. His saliva tasted just like the pig sperm cake we ate, mixed with all the blood of the meat at the dinner and I could also feel some pieces of cow brain floating in the saliva, and I swallowed them. We continued for a few more minutes until we noticed everyone else had left Hogwarts and he hurried to get into the concert. As mentioned before, the concert would take place in the Forbidden Forest, next to the lake's shore. Once we got there we gave our tickets to Fawks, which looked at us with a weird facial expression. I then growled and I scared the shit out of the stupid bird...literally. We had arrived just in time, because Lady Gaga had just got into the stage. She was completly naked, which made many people take off their pants and masturbate. One guy even attempted to climb the stage to fuck Lady Gaga, but she wiped him off. Then she began playing with her boobs, making the straight boys and lesbians even more frustrated. Only after a full minute of being a jerk she began to sing. Everyone then just gave in to dance, even the horniest studs. My boy grabbed my arm and then he placed my on his shoulders, and I waved my arms and began to sing alongside the croud. The crowning moment of awsome came when Lady Gaga sang the song "Just Dance"; our sexual education teacher, Howard the Duck, got on stage as well. He too was naked and he sang alongside Lady Gaga while fucking her!

Its needless to say so many studs were horny that, after she finished singing, they all climbed to the stage and gangbanged her. During said frenzy I and my first boyfriend walked away, deciding to turn that night into our first romantic moment. We stopped by a cypress tree, right in the shores of the lake. The moonlight reflected on the water, and there was no sound other than the diarrhea bird's song and sounds of the croud fucking (hopefully non-consensually) Lady Gaga, which were low since we've gone quite far way. We both sat next to the tree and John held me in his arms, kissing me tenderly as I licked him (I was still in my ferret form remember?). He passed his hands through my fur while I passed mine through his hair and beard, both soft and nice to put your hands on. We then kissed again, and he layed against the cypress while I took off my clothes. I have a personal fetish of being naked on top of a still clothed man, as I was now. He touched my butcheeks, and my now erect penis was pressed against his own, still trapped on his pants. He then unzipped his jeans and took them off, with now only his boxers separating his cock from mine. I teared it apart with my claws (the boxers, not the penis!)

"Wow, easy tiger"

"I'm not tiger; I'm much more sensual"

Saying that I licked his nose and I stared at his huge penis, which when flacid would likely be of the same length of the inverted cross on his jeans. I then opened my maw, which got close to his pole; I was going to give the first blowjob of my life.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!?!?"

We've both stopped and looked behind us. It was Dumbledore.

"I was just, uh, sucking the poison off John's penis! Yes, 'cos he was bitten by a rattlesnake there!"

"Nice try, but there aren't rattlesnakes on Scotland, faggot! Now get dressed and see me in my office!"

He then turned into Zazu and flew away to Hogwarts. I then turned to my mate, and I felt ashamed.

"Sorry Johny, I didn't want to humiliate you."

"Its okay sweetie. We were just unlucky enough to get that old fart caughting us. Besides, he is so retarded he has Alzheimer, so we'll forget everything once we get there"

I was happy to know my first love interest wasn't mad at me, and I returned to my human form, and I've searched for mine and John's clothes. Once we've got dressed again he hugged me, and then he hold my hand and we went all the way to Dumbledore's office.

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Once we reached the old fart's office he accidently caught him masturbating and listening to Take That's "Relight My Fire", which made him embarassed as hell and we laughed so hard I swear I peed a little.

"This isn't funny you fuckers! What do you want anyway?"

"Don't you remember?"

"No, what was it? Did you shit on my closet again? Oh wait, that was Ron Weasley. Or was it Tom Riddle? No, I molested that kid"

"Humm, never mind"

However, once we've turned around to walk away...

"Mister Dumbledore, zese tvo students had gay sex on ze Forbidden Forest"

Once we've turned again we saw Snape and his two body guards, Aslan and Iorek Byrnisson. They are all a gang of worthless la veyan posers, which is made obvious by the fact neither Aslan or Iorek have human forms, as they were lost once they converted to atheism, as when a werewolf converts to another faith/philosophy other than satanism he loses his human form as a punishment from Satan.

"What!? You motherfuckers were fucking on that fucking forest!?"

"Yep, and according to ze lavs of ze Ministery of Magic no one can have gay sex on ze Forbidden Forest, because ve have cameras zere and frankly zat's gross"

"You fucking faggots, you deserve to be...who are you?"

"Oh my fucking God...vait, I has no God! I mean I has Satan, ya ya"

So we two just escaped from being spanked, leaving the neo-nazi fuckers to restore Dumbledore's memory