CHAPTER TWO
Connected coiled inescapably...
« Ahh... Hn! »
Slowly Riku opened his eyes, his face hidden behind a silver veil of silky hair. He couldn't help the sleepy smile on his lips as he blinked lazily, overwhelmed by an exquisite sensation; was he dreaming, was he awake? It didn't matter, and he breathed in and exhaled happily...
« Ahhh... »
... and again he heard it, the same sigh, long and hoarse, viciously finding its way to his ears. Riku tried and forced his mind to focus, but he found himself unable to escape the mist that had took over his thoughts. There was only the voice, a quiet, restrained whisper, and the tingling wave rolling inbetween his thighs...
« Nngh! »
That was all that it took for him to finally open his eyes fully, suppressing a moan as he felt his own hand sliding up and down his length. He didn't know when he had started, or how, but he definitely knew why; the sigh he kept hearing aroused him wonderfully, and only then he realized where it came from.
Sora.
In the adjacent room, his friend was experiencing what he himself had never tasted; passion. Oh, it was well alive inside him, burning like an eternal flame, but he had no one to share it with. It grew and grew as time passed by and he knew it was bound to blow up sooner or later, but what was there to do? Kairi had made the first move, she had won Sora's heart as soon as she had set food on their island, and Riku had learned a long time ago that it was useless to fight against fate.
« Ugh! »
The thought of them together made his hand move faster on his shaft, a furious protestation, a war between his heart and his mind. A battle he knew his head had lost long ago; his heart had chosen, and he knew nothing would change it... for better or worse. Oh, he had tried to deny the truth, burying his fierce desires in the depth of his inner darkness, but the light had found its way through, reaching it and enflaming it little by little until it surfaced again, a formidable explosion. He had tried to think of Kairi as something more than a friend, but as soon as his heart started beating a little faster, Sora's face inevitably shadowed hers, shunning her in the back of his mind, piercing his soul with luminescent rays; he knew he was doomed to love him 'till the end of his days.
« Ahhh... nngh! »
A new moan, teasing his senses, stealing away what was left of his sanity. Clutching the blankets with his free hand, he stifled a low groan as the other worked around his shaft, a magical dance, fast and slow and fast again until he felt the twinkling wave grow inside him, unfurling restlessly, only wanting to reach the shore...
Sora, Sora, Sora...
« Hn... Ri-Riku! »
Riku opened his eyes wide as he reached his climax, all of his senses lost in the cacophony around him; the sound of his name, a velvety plea, echoed in his ears as his heart kept pounding in his chest. Everlasting pleasure, or so it seemed, ran through his body as he tried to catch his breath again... only his mind, blinded by Sora's last rustle, would not cooperate.
WHAM!!!
A door was slammed suddenly; someone was leaving. Riku sat up in his bed, ridding himself of his dirty pants and fighting against the dizziness. Had he imagined that call? Was he so desperate to be loved the way he loved that his own mind answered his prayers?
« Riku? »
The silver-haired boy froze instantly. It was the same voice, but not quite the same tone. Embarassement washed over his features, adding a delicate pink touch to his pale skin; he was blushing like a damn school boy.
« Hey, wake up man! »
« Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. »
Quickly he grabbed a new pair of pants, rushing to the door to welcome his friend. He still wasn't sure whether he was dreaming or not; his thoughts were mingled, paralyzing his senses and numbing his emotions. A cloud, close and yet so far away, seemed to float around him, thick and dense and suffocating, keeping him away from reality...
... and yet he knew with certainty as he opened the door that he wasn't dreaming.
« I messed up. »
Three words and no context, but Riku had guessed everything. His confused gaze followed Sora as he walked in, choosing the nearest chair to sink in; his eyes, watery blue, shined awkwardly, and Riku had to literally shake his head in order to shake some sense into him.
« Well, that's nothing new, » he managed to say, but clearly his teasing abilities had yet to awaken.
« Riku! Sora protested, resting his forehead in the palm of his hand. « I'm serious. I think she's mad at me. »
« She...? »
« Yeah. Kairi. »
And suddenly everything became as clear as a cloudless sky; the moans, Sora's voice, the exquisite pleasure... Together yet seperately they had found their release, both crying out the name of the other. Riku lowered his head at the thought, hiding his crimson cheeks from his blue, intense gaze.
It couldn't be real... could it?
« Tell her it was an accident, » he shrugged, earning an horrified look from his friend. »
« Wha... how did... hey, did you...? »
« No, » Riku interrupted, letting himself fall on the bed and carefully avoiding Sora's gaze. « But whatever you did wasn't on purpose, right? »
« Y-yeah... I mean, no, of course not! »
« Right. So tell her it was an accident. »
Sora looked at him, eyebrows furrowed as if to protest, but his mouth opened and closed again and nothing was said.
Only the pink tint on his cheeks had spoken.
« I think she loves me, » he let out, a shy, quiet revelation. »
« No kidding, » Riku retorted, a low, bitter remark. « I thought you did, too. »
« Yeah, I do, but not like I... like I... You know! »
« Does she know that? »
« I don't know. I thought we were friends. I mean... we did... she... I don't know. »
Riku raises his brows, questionning him with his eyes. He could tell Sora was experiencing an inner battle and he couldn't help but feel sorry for him, for he knew all too well what it felt like.
« How do you tell a girl that you're not in love with her? » he asked, words spurted out at the speed of light.
Riku's mouth sagged opened as he acknowledged Sora's question, his soul wanting to disappear and leap on him all at once. Surely he wasn't serious; Riku had always been lacking in the 'feelings department' and they both knew it. What was he getting at? Seeking advice from him only boosted his self-confidence, which wasn't necessarily a good thing in that kind of situation.
« Are you for real? » he snorted, unable to restrain his frustration. « What d'you think she's gonna believe if you keep fucking her? »
He gasped briefly and frowned as his own words slowly sank in; he hadn't meant to be harsh, nor had he meant to insinuate that he knew what they had been doing. However, as always, dark emotions had never been a problem to unleash...
« Riku... »
« Look, » he said, getting back on his feet and shotting him a quick glance as he approached the window. « I don't know why you ask me, Sora. I can't even tell yo-- I can't even... »
His fists clenched as he closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh, baffled and mad at himself. Why? Why was he unable to talk to him? It was driving him insane to know that his dark side would always be more easily shared than his light one. He had changed over the past few years, but that part of him always remained the same somehow, and he wondered whether he was really meant to live on this side of the world.
« Hey, I know I messed up, that's the first thing I said when I came in, » Sora retorted, standing now and looking at him, his gaze hesitant as he closed the distance between them slowly. « I'm just not used to dealing with things on my own... We've always overcome everything together. »
Riku turned his head slightly, just enough so he could see him without having to face his eyes. Sora...
« You remember before? You told me you wished to live your life the way I do. You keep shooting yourself down, but there's something you forgot; I need my friends to be as strong as I am. They're my power, and I'm nothing without them. I'm nothing... without you. »
Throat closing, eyes shutting... Riku found himself wanting to laugh as he realized how ironic some things could be. Sora had come to him for advice, and yet he was the one reassuring him. It was all that he needed to know that some things did change, but some others never would.
« You love Kairi, don't you? »
« What? » Riku frowned, forcing his mind back to the subject at hand.
« Kairi. You love her. You wouldn't have gotten so pissed at me earlier if you didn't, right? »
« Sora... »
« No, it's alright! » Sora smiled, his eyes sparkling as if truly happy, but Riku wondered for a moment whether he saw tears in them. « I don't even know why or how it even began... I mean, her and me. It just... did. But it won't happen again, alright? I mean, I don't need to... »
« Sora! » Riku cut him off, his eyes furrowed as he grabbed his arm to silence him. « You're getting the wrong idea. I don't love her, not in the way you think I do. I got mad 'cause I... I just got mad. »
Raising his eyebrows in a provocative manner that earned him a dubious look, Riku tightened his grip around Sora's arm as though it would convince him somehow, but the spikey-haired boy was no fool. However, just as he opened his mouth to retort, his gaze suddenly changed and his face lowered as his eyes fell on Riku's hand on his skin. An odd, sticky sensation had caught his attention, and Riku couldn't help but blush as he realized what it was.
Quickly he let go of him, wiping his hand on his pants in a vain attempt to be subtle; he knew it was too late, and so did Sora. The pale, viscous fluid was already stuck on his flesh, but he made no move to wipe it off, which sent Riku away in the dark, unwieldy abyss of humiliation.
« That's not what you think, » he murmured, losing his composure but desperately clinging to it, taking a few steps back as he looked away.
But Sora reached out and grabbed his hand, keeping him from walking away, pulling him closer as a finger on his chin forced him to look back at him.
Mixed feelings, strength reversed.
« Riku, » he whispered as the older boy lost himself in his eyes, fingers intertwined. « I heard you, too. »
Riku's mouth opened, only letting out a soft, velvety sigh. His free hand brushed against Sora's arm, a shy, feathery touch, his fingers running up his skin as it slightly trembled in shivers... but the younger boy looked down suddenly, giving Riku's hand a small squeeze before he retreated.
« I've got to talk to her, » he simply said, avoiding his friend's gaze as he left the room quickly, leaving behind a very perplexed Riku.
« Sora...»
His eyes, slightly furrowed and fixed on the door, finally closed as Riku sat down, raking his hands back through his hair. This was unreal, he told himself, his mind confused and his heart racing like it never had before. He wasn't sure of the meaning of what had just happened, but something had definitely changed. He promised himself he'd find the strength to talk to him...
... and if he couldn't find it in himself, he knew that, together, they would make it work.
