Summary:
Upon the brink of delivering good news, Naruto catches his lover having an affair. Leaving Konoha with a secret, Naruto stumbles into the arms of someone he thought untouchable.
Pairings:
Itachi x Naruto, Sasuke x Naruto (onesided on Sasuke's part), Sasuke x Sakura (onesided on Sakura's part)
Warnings:
Mpreg, battle violence, character death (major and minor, but will end happily), infidelity, swearing, mentions of terminal illness. Sasuke comes with his own warning in all honesty, but thoughts of causing miscarriage. Spoilers for current manga. No character bashing.
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What You Didn't Know
Chapter Three
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Naruto had a lot to think about. Shizune and Tsunade had left the room far a while, telling Naruto that he could stay in the consultation room for as long as he needed. They wanted him to really realise what he had, a developing baby inside of him, and for Naruto to think about the choices he would have to make.
The main choice was whether to stay in Konoha or not. If he stayed in Konoha, the possibility of seeing Sakura and Sasuke was high. Even though he couldn't hate them - dislike them and be angry at them yes, but never hate - he didn't want to see them for a while. Besides, watching Sakura become larger as her pregnancy advanced would be like a blow to what he could have had.
Imagine the looks on their faces when he started to grow? What would they say? Naruto didn't think he'd be able to stand the shock, then pity, on their faces. He didn't want to make them feel guilty (although a part of him wanted to see the horror on Sasuke's face at what he had given up and the self-hatred in Sakura's eyes as she saw what she had come between), and staying in Konoha would only bring out these feelings.
But Konoha was his home. There was nowhere else that Naruto could think of to call home. He had always loved Konoha and he always would. Tsunade was here, Kakashi was here, Shizune was here, all of his friends were here... and as much as Naruto hated to admit it, Sasuke and Sakura were here.
With a sigh, Naruto closed his eyes, the image of his insignificantly-sized child burned onto his eyelids. He couldn't imagine anything more beautiful to see, and yet Naruto couldn't fully accept that it was inside of him.
Throughout his life, Naruto had been told that in traditional families the men married the women and the women had the babies. In happened in general life too, yet he now faced a situation unlike any other.
Yes there were couples who split up, leaving the mother alone. Sometimes the father then took over caring for the child, sometimes they didn't. People died, people left and people changed. Betrayal wasn't an uncommon factor in life, but a male pregnancy? Naruto was willing to bet he was either the very first, or at least a close second.
In all truth, Naruto didn't feel any different. He felt slightly groggy, the cause for seeing Tsunade in the first place, but there was nothing overtly wrong. He didn't feel pregnant... didn't even feel as though his body had sustained the Sexy no Jutsu to protect the new life that had formed inside of him.
That didn't change the fact that he did have someone, a real person, a soon-to-be-living-breathing-person, growing inside of his body. It was unconventional, freaky even, but it was amazing.
Before he had seen the tiny picture on the ultrasound, Naruto hadn't fully believed it. He knew what Tsunade had told him, yes, but he didn't fully believe it. There was the old saying; 'seeing was believing' and Naruto finally believed now.
Naruto was really going to have this baby. At nineteen years, after all he had accomplished, he was going to have the family he had always craved.
Except Naruto didn't know how to be a parent. He didn't know how to look after something so small. How could a teenager look after a child of their own? Especially when they were a single parent, and a man.
Sinking his head into his hands, Naruto almost couldn't bear the thought. Before, everything had been so simple. He would train, get stronger, become strong enough to be a hero to the village and then go up for the Hokage seat. He would battle with all his wills for that seat and he would win it, becoming Hokage. From then... well, all he would need was his love for Konoha, his strength, his wits and his compassion for the people of Konoha.
It was supposed to be simple.
Now, however, the world had come grinding to a halt. Naruto wouldn't be able to train properly, go on interesting missions and do whatever he wanted. He had a baby to think of. He was a host, providing a growing platform for a bunch of cells. Eventually the baby would come out, ripping through his stomach and tearing the muscles (okay, so it would be a surgical incision, but still) which would need more time to recover from.
The next year was set to be extremely difficult. It would probably end up being over a year, what with recovery time and then getting used to the baby.
What if he was a terrible parent? People said that you often picked up things from your own parents... but Naruto had never had parents. There had been people at the orphanage, but they tended to switch shifts. There wasn't enough time to form proper bonds in the initial stages of development. By the time Naruto had really gotten to know Iruka, it was too late to pick up 'fatherly' traits. He was ten (at the very most) when Iruka had first taken him for ramen, but a ten year old was less impressionable than a five year old.
Of course, Naruto could fall back on what he had learnt from Kakashi, Iruka, Tsunade, Jiraiya and Shizune, but what they had to offer hardly applied to looking after a baby. It was good, practical advice for every day life, but it didn't offer any hints on how to mix formula milk, how to hold a baby or how to change a nappy.
Naruto clenched his jaw at the thought. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to be a father at all. If he ever was going to have children, Naruto had assumed it would be when he was much older... and possibly adopted.
After Sasuke had approached wanting a serious relationship, Naruto had thought about it. He had wondered if spending his whole life with another man would be a terrible thing. He had assumed that he would never get to hold his pregnant partner... but he had accepted that. He'd loved Sasuke enough to accept that he no longer wanted a pregnant partner. He no longer wanted those things if it meant giving up Sasuke.
Unfortunately, it didn't seem as though the thought was reciprocated.
Of course, Naruto knew that it wasn't just Sasuke's fault. Most people ended up cheating on their partner for a reason, and there was plenty of reason in their relationship.
Naruto would be an idiot if he put all the blame on Sasuke. As people said, it took two to tango, and they had definitely been dancing around each other these past few months. They argued over small, insignificant things. They no longer slept in the same bed, no longer wanted to touch each other. Their sex life was non-existent. It was as if they had been steeling themselves for separation, except never actually got around to saying the words.
Even so, it hurt. To see your lover with another person was crushing. It's the moment you realise that the wonderful thing you have is no longer yours, like the chocolate sundae accidentally delivered to your table. It's taken away just as you go to take the first spoonful and given to the person on the table next to you.
And what do they do? Turn their nose up and push it away, letting the ice cream waste away in its glass holder.
A knock on the door disturbed Naruto's thoughts and he looked up, watching as Shizune entered with a smile.
"How are you doing?"
Naruto shrugged in a non-committal way. "Alright I think. I need to... I want to..." he trailed off, avoiding Shizune's soft gaze.
"It's going to be hard. All women find it hard at first, adjusting to everything, and you're a man. You'll be changing, it'll be scary and you'll get angry. I can't promise you everything will be easy and alright at the end, but you will have a baby. You'll have someone who will always love you unconditionally and someone you can love unconditionally. You'll have someone to come home to at the end of the day, someone to care for and who will look up to you."
Shizune paused, walking to Naruto's side and crouching down a bit, "And I know, without a doubt, that you will make a wonderful father."
Naruto sniffed, ignoring the urge to cry. A few tears had gathered at the corners of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He was Uzumaki Naruto; he was strong. Shizune had told him everything he had needed to hear.
"Thank you," he replied quietly, shifting from the comfortable chair and standing. Naruto felt a sudden urge to cup his flat stomach again, yet resisted, knowing there wasn't any point.
"Tsunade-sama said she needed to speak to you, but she wanted to give you some time. She'll be in her office all day if you need her. Apparently you should know what it's about?"
Naruto nodded and Shizune smiled. "Do you want to see her now or do you want to talk about the baby a little more?"
Naruto's eyes widened; there was more to know? "I don't think I could handle much else today," and it was true. Naruto felt that any more and the floor would disappear beneath him. Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow was a new day, a new piece of information.
"Okay then," Shizune accepted, which surprised Naruto. Surely she should be more enforceful, telling him rather than letting him go away?
"We have plenty of time. I'm not going to rush anything, that little one isn't going anywhere anytime soon and it's all completely new to you. I understand more than you might think, Naruto, and I want the best for you."
Naruto smiled, his hand tracing over his stomach slightly. It was ridiculous, really, the fact that he couldn't keep away from touching where his 'womb' would be. There was hardly anything there and the habit had just been picked up, but Naruto couldn't stop it. It was knowing that his baby was inside of him that was simply amazing.
"I'm going to talk to Baa-chan," Naruto said, walking slowly to the door. As he laid a hand on the door handle, blue eyes glanced back at the ultrasound screen, looking at the blank image. There was nothing there now, but it had been the first time he'd seen the apple-pip-baby.
"You'll get to know him or her as they grow. It's surprising how quickly you get attached."
Shizune spoke almost as if she knew what she was talking about. Obviously something showed on Naruto's face as she continued, "I've never been pregnant, in case you're wondering, but I spent a lot of time when travelling with Tsunade-sama specialising in midwifery. There's something amazing about being part of a newborn baby's life."
Shizune cut herself off with a smile. "I'm sorry, once I start it's hard to get me to stop."
Naruto smiled in return, enjoying the feeling again. It seemed that this little baby had brought so many smiles and it was still only the size of an apple seed. An odd thing, perhaps, but something to enjoy.
"Don't apolgise, I... I understand."
And he really did. It was amazing, something growing and changing inside a human being, any animal really. At the end of the nine months, they'd be able to see Naruto's child. It was scarier than hell, but it also carried an edge (and a big one at that) of excitement.
Shizune stepped up next to him, touching Naruto's hand gently. "Whatever happens, you'll always have us. You know that, right?"
Naruto nodded slowly, getting the feeling that Tsunade had mentioned that he hadn't told Sasuke. If anyone would be able to draw parallels, it would be Shizune. She had probably seen it all in her life, particularly as she had specialised in midwifery before. She had to at least suspected that something had happened between them, but whether it was that Naruto didn't want to tell or something bigger, that much was hard to tell.
"Thank you," Naruto said, turning away from the ultrasound screen and exiting the room. There was no doubt he'd be back soon, but for now, it was all he needed.
"I'll catch up again later," Shizune said as they parted.
Naruto wandered down the hospital hall, heading for the exit. Every corner turned, there was a possibility to run into Sakura. Naruto realised this halfway through exiting and purposefully stopped, looking round himself.
There were the customary patients sitting down waiting for consults. There were nurses bustling around, files in their hands. A handful of doctors would walk through, pass off files and then wander away again. A few in-patients milled about, talking to each other or simply out for a walk.
There was no Sakura, though. Naruto couldn't remember if she worked on the consultation wing of the hospital anymore. She had mentioned it one time, but now... maybe she worked in paediatrics? Or possibly in the accident and emergency ward? For all Naruto could remember, she could be scrubbing toilets.
When was the last time he had really spoken to Sakura? It had to be weeks ago now, definitely before she and Sasuke had started anything. Well, at least before she had became pregnant. Who knew how long they had been 'seeing' each other.
Naruto sighed heavily, stepping into fresh air as he left the hospital. He didn't want to think about it anymore. It was easier not thinking about things than accepting them and realising what exactly you had lost.
There was something else he couldn't put off anymore, though. He had to think about his future, Konoha's future, in respect to the Akatsuki.
It would be a difficult decision, but Naruto had a feeling he knew the outcome anyway. It was just a matter of convincing Tsunade that it was the right one.
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Tsunade was waiting patiently when Naruto entered. It was uncanny how she was able to predict when people would enter, but she smiled when Naruto mentioned it.
"You don't exactly have the quietest indoor voice. I could hear you talking to someone outside."
"Oh," Naruto replied, it making sense. It did seem as though it would be cooler if she had a special sense or something like that, to detect the exact moment someone would set foot in her office.
As it was, Naruto had stopped for a few seconds or so to talk to the ANBU guard stationed outside Tsunade's office. It was a job for the newest recruits, and while pretty pointless, there were times they had come in handy.
For example, during Naruto's three-day stint as guard, he had blocked people simply barging in on important meetings and engrossed Kakashi in a stimulating conversation about the pros of growing lettuce for nin-rabbits (various reasons why one would need nin-rabbits) and thus aided in Kakashi's lateness. His supervisor had decided that maybe guard duty wasn't the best application for Naruto's skills and had assigned him to his first team. Which was a laugh in itself; outside of missions, ANBU really knew how to have a laugh.
It was probably one of the most difficult jobs in the world, especially in the ninja world, yet was of vital importance. Not all of the missions contained death, but a large quantity involved protecting and killing. It was a hard job, but you couldn't afford to take everything seriously.
There was one time that Naruto and his team had been sent to guard a high-paying caravan. It turned out that the main act of the travelling show was, in fact, a large drag queen. Needless to say the team had been invited in to watch the dress rehearsal and had ended the night with a performance of their own.
Naruto thought he looked quite good in heels, even sans Sexy no Jutsu.
Naruto tuned back into the present day, sitting in the waiting chair before Tsunade's desk.
"I want to know what your plans are."
Naruto took a deep breath, knowing the decision would change the rest of his life. At least if he decided to stay in Konoha then he could pretend that his life was normal for a while. He could pretend that he wasn't pregnant, pretend that Sasuke was on a mission and that they needed a change of house. He could pretend that Sakura was busy at the hospital and so didn't have time to talk.
But Naruto didn't want to pretend. He wanted to live without this regret, show Sasuke and Sakura that he could move past what they had done.
And pretending the baby didn't exist was pointless. It was his son or daughter, taking his name and everything. There was only so much time that you could run away from your problems and Naruto didn't have any left. He could try to run, but what was the point?
"I'll take the mission."
Tsunade's face settled in a grim line, her lips thinning as she obviously caught herself from saying something. Instead, she picked up a small pile of papers, shuffled them and placed them back down.
"Are you sure?"
Naruto nodded, determination clouding his eyes.
"What if-"
"Don't say it. There could be a million what-if's, Baa-chan."
He was right, so right, but Tsunade couldn't accept it. She had Naruto here and he was carrying a child. She couldn't be the one to authorise Naruto leaving if it meant he had to sacrifice his child.
"Your baby?" she asked pointedly. Naruto licked his lips, clearly choosing how to form his answer.
"All I need to do is talk to them. They have been peaceful for the last couple of years, not even attempting to move against any jinchūriki . I'm a top ANBU, I can easily pull off a technique to pull myself out of there is negotiations take a turn for the worst."
Tsunade began to shake her head, but Naruto spoke before she could, leaning back in his chair a little more.
"I have my sage chakra. It's a natural energy, completely protective. If anyone is to go against the Akatsuki, send the man who can be fully protected by nature itself. Even then I have the Kyūbi to heal me."
"You can't risk your baby's life for a mission Naruto!"
Naruto knew it was time to tell her what Sasuke had done. It was horrible to use it against her in this way, but he couldn't stay in the village at the moment.
"So I should stay here and watch Sasuke and Sakura as she advances and gives birth?"
The words were said slowly, calmly, and Tsunade's face paled. Her mouth opened slightly as she absorbed the information, fingers on her hand curling as she fought the urge to pull Naruto to her. As much as she wanted to throw her arms around him and let him cry it out, Naruto would never do that. He wouldn't ever let Sasuke get to him in that way. He wouldn't let Sakura be the cause of that.
He was easily the strongest person Tsunade knew.
"Okay," she whispered, not wanting him to go. Except he needed this. If Naruto remained in Konoha, he would see Sasuke play happy families with Sakura, watch them build their family (because that was what every respectable clan member did when they knocked someone up) and sit in the shadows.
It would drive Naruto to resent his child, comparing his situation to Sakura's. If Naruto struggled in something, all he would do was look to Sakura and Sasuke's child, knowing that he could have had that at one time. He would resent his child, hate it for something that no one had done.
That's not to say that he wouldn't love the child. Naruto would make a fantastic parent, but sometimes betrayal presents itself in hideous ways. Naruto would then hate himself and drive himself to do something undoubtedly stupid.
It was a chance that that could happen. Tsunade didn't want to risk that chance. She wanted Naruto happy, wanted the baby happy, and it was clear that staying in Konoha wasn't the solution.
She could ask for him to go on a paid leave, go to a spa resort or something... but Naruto wouldn't be able to do that. At this stage of his life, Naruto was at the height of his career... and he now had to put that on hold. This baby would change him from a high ranking member of ANBU into someone who would depend on others at times. Not all the time, but it would be hard.
Especially considering that Naruto was male and his external body wasn't prepared for the changes. Hormones and internal changes could only go so far, but Naruto's brain was also geared up as a male. Mentally he wouldn't be able to deal with the changes unless someone was there to help him.
If Tsunade let him go on this mission, though, he would have one last crack at something completely astounding. If it worked and the Akatsuki were receptive to their negotiations, Naruto would have done something no one else had ever achieved whilst being pregnant. He would have smashed any barrier people would say that he had to slow down because he was having a baby, destroyed their image that he was 'handicapped' just because he was pregnant.
It was true that people took care when pregnant, but it didn't mean that they had to stop their whole life. Kunoichi could still go on missions, granted they often requested easier missions with little risks because of the baby, but no one was going to force them to bed rest unless there was a medical reason joined to the pregnancy.
There was a risk of losing the baby if Naruto pushed himself too hard, but there was alway a risk for anyone, even if they were extremely careful. Sometimes nature just took a course, destructive as it may seem, but there was nothing you could do to change that. Blaming someone for it didn't change the fact it had happened.
Tsunade wondered momentarily if losing the baby would end up beneficial for Naruto. He'd have to care for a child who would remind him every day of Sasuke, remind him of Sasuke's betrayal.
She knew her answer the second the thought had arrived. The baby may bring memories of Sasuke, but it would never be beneficial. Naruto would have his child, someone to care for and look after, someone to love. Regardless of what Sasuke had or hadn't done, Naruto would always love his baby. It didn't matter how they had conceived the child, Naruto would never allow it to be taken away.
It brought happiness to Tsunade's heart to know that Naruto would never judge a person based on who they had come from or what they had done. It was so typically, blindingly, Naruto that it hurt in some respects.
But it was that good hurt.
"You'll need to speak with Shizune before you leave, but I want you gone in the week." Tsunade slipped into an official mission-giving tone. She'd have to speak to the mission's board and deliver the full content to Naruto in front of them, but she wanted Naruto to understand a few things before he allowed that.
"There's a chance you could lose your baby. Many people wouldn't take this risk, but staying in Konoha would do more damage to you than anyone would consider. I may not like the idea of sending you now, but, as you said, you are probably the most qualified to be protected against the Akatsuki."
Naruto nodded, already knowing this. He fought the urge to fidget in his chair, feeling like a child again, being reprimanded gently for a prank he had pulled on the Sandaime.
"Shizune will run through what's to be expected and schedule in another appointment. I'll run over everything else at the mission briefing, which I can set up for tomorrow at seven am at the soonest. Because your pregnancy won't simply be run-of-the-mill, I want a consult with Shizune three times a month. It doesn't have to be in Konoha, I don't even have to know about it, but I want it done. I'll file it as 'information-sharing' in the mission documents, but it will be to see how the baby's doing."
Tsunade paused, considering the next statement carefully. If she handled this well, both of them would leave happily. If she pressed too hard, Naruto would push back and deny her this.
"If it looks like there's going to be any complications," Tsunade fixed Naruto with a stare, letting him know she meant any complications, "Then I want you back. No arguments, no excuses. You'll be coming home where we can provide for you and make sure you both will be alright."
To Tsunade's surprise, Naruto nodded. "Sounds fair enough."
That was when she realised that he really need to do this mission. He needed this release, to think things over by himself. It was amazing the way Naruto worked; he'd do anything for his team, his friends or his family, but the best way he solved problems of his own was by himself.
"Do you want me to get your stuff for you or..?"
Naruto's eyes widened for a moment before he sighed. "I'll go. If... if they're there..."
Naruto trailed off, placing a hand over his stomach. Tsunade smiled sadly, understanding he didn't know what to do.
"I can go myself-"
"I need to do it." Naruto stood up, smiling. "I'd like to face them before I go, if I can. It's something I need to do."
Tsunade understood. While she really wished she didn't, she understood Naruto's need to open that particular wound.
"Goodbye," she said as Naruto left her office, knowing he'd be back soon enough. She checked over the files on her desk and left the office herself, locking the door and informing the guard to keep an eye out for Naruto. If it was Naruto, he was to be directed to the hospital if she wasn't back.
Tsunade needed to talk to Shizune before her friend met with Naruto again. Shizune needed to be in the loop and there was a possibility that Naruto would feel more comfortable with Shizune.
With a grim smile, Tsunade left the Hokage tower and made her way to the hospital. Decisions were never easy, but when they concerned the people she cared about deeply, they became a million times harder.
At least Naruto was strong, though it would take him more than strength to get through this.
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Notes:
Thank you for your continued support, it really means a lot to me.
