Hi, well as you might now have gathered the sorry has moved away from the real world elections to a more familiar fiction RD one. So enjoy this new arc and hopefully I have done Rimmers mum justice.

Rimmer stood transfixed by the image before them, his mind raced. 'How could this be possible, how was his mother standing there before them, and what the smeg was she doing on this world, three million years in the future.' He didn't have the answers and so he and the others waited and watched as she spoke to the crowd.

"So, it seems we have a problem, they knew my laws and they have failed to deliver a fair fight that ends in one. So what shall do with them?" she asked the crowd.

"Kill them!" it roared back at her.

She listened for a second and then shouted back at the crowed. "NO, that is not the law."

But the crowed wanted blood and began to chant. "Three men enter one man leave…. Three men enter one man leave…."

Lister turned to the others. "Smeg, she's gone and done it now, this lot aren't happy."

Rimmers mother glared at the crowed and then waved her hands for silence. "Do you think I don't know the law, I am the law, was it not me who created this place, who brought you back from the brink of destruction. So listen to me, we will let the wheel of fate decide for them."

At the mention of this, a cart is wheeled into the cage with what looked like a wheel with several painted options upon it.

"What the smeg is she doing?" asked Rimmer.

"I don't know Rimmer, she's your mother." Said Lister.

"I think she is going to let that device choose the fate of these men." Said Kryten.

By now the three candidates had recovered enough to realise the situation had changed and each of their fates was in the hands of a spin.

Rimmer's mother pointed to the first man and called him over to spin the device. He approached slowly.

Cat strained his neck to see what was written on the wheel. "What's it say, what's it say?" he asked.

Kryten zoomed in and read out the options. "Well sir it seems that there are four options, the largest of which is death, followed by exile, followed by de-tongued."

Lister butted in. "Oh now that's going to far, de-tonguing a politician is just cruel." He said.

Kryten read the last choice, the smallest of all. "House of Lords"

The big Gelf span the wheel and it began its journey round and round, the crowd waited as the wheel slowed. It finally came to rest on exile. The big Gelf looked relieved and was ushered out from the cage.

Next the man in blue span the wheel, again it turned round and round, until finally it stopped.

The crowed cheered as they realised it was a de-tonguing. The man fell to his knees, crumpled by the news and before the guard reached him he pulled out a dagger and thrust it into his own chest.

"Poor beggar, he just couldn't hack not being able to talk nonsense ever again." Said Lister.

The last man stepped forward his face grim from what he had seen go before. He gripped the wheels handle and pulled. It began the final spin of the afternoon and the crowed watched as it slowed. The candidate watched as it slowed and finally stopped on the smallest option of the four, 'The house of Lords'.

"Oh thank goodness for that, I was beginning to think this election process was just one big barbaric process." Said Rimmer

The crowd having seen its fun was over began to thin only Rimmer stood still looking at the figure in the centre of the cage.

She began to leave but something made her change her mind and look in Rimmers direction. For a second her eyes met his, there was no notable recollection in her expression, and she turned and left the cage.

"Did you see that, she didn't even blink at seeing you sir?" said Kryten.

"What did you expect, if that is my mother she probably expected me dead a long time ago, and even if I wasn't she never cared for me enough to show any emotion towards me." Said a downbeat Rimmer, who had secretly hoped she would have been pleased to see him.

"Come on man, we've got to try and meet her." Said Lister.

"Are you crazy, one she's the master of this crazy world and two she would probably stick me in that cage and spin that wheel herself." Said Rimmer.

"Oh come now sir, I am sure she will find her motherly instincts kick right in and want to give you a nice big hug." Said Kryten.

"More like a great big knife in the back!" snorted Rimmer.

"Look, your with us now, let's go and find out." Said Lister.

"OK, but I'm telling you if she starts talking about my doll collection, I'm out of here." Said Rimmer.

The others looked at him as if what he had just said explained a lot.

"Not that kind, military dolls." Prompted Rimmer.

"Yeah right, whatever." Said Lister leading the group the way Rimmer's mum had departed.

The group found themselves outside a large wooden hut, two large Gelf guards stood at the entrance.

"Excuse me lads, can we see the lady of the house?" said Lister as politely as he could.

The pair shook there heads. "No see lady, she busy."

"This is important." Pressed Lister.

The pair snarled at him. "OK OK, I get the message." Said Lister backing away slightly.

"It's no good she's busy, we tried, let's go." Said Rimmer brightly.

"Come on Rimmer, this is your mother we are talking about, don't you want to see her." Said Lister.

"Lister frankly no." replied Rimmer.

The group was just about to leave when the door opened and a voice called out.

"Arnold Judas Rimmer, get in here now!"

Rimmer gulped at hearing his mothers commanding tone and walked into the hut, with the others in tow.


In the middle of the room a fire roared and sitting with her back to the group was the lady in black.

Rimmer stepped forward and spoke quietly. "Mother?"

The women, dropped the hood once again and turned to face them. "Well, Well if it isn't the runt of the litter, Arnold." She said almost spitting the words from her mouth.

"Mother, how did you end up here?" asked Rimmer ignoring her tone.

"No thanks to you and your bothers, that's how, but that's a long story." She said.

"But, that was over 3 million years ago." Said Rimmer.

"What of it, you found a way to continue, Hologram I see." She said tapping her forehead.

"Yes, there was a ship wide accident, I died mother." Said Rimmer simply.

"Oh and I bet it was your fault." She said sneering at him.

Rimmer froze, her words biting into him like a cold wind. How did she know, she always knew.

Lister stepped forward. "Hi, err, he's with us, how did you manage to survive for so long?" asked Lister.

She turned almost noticing him for the first time, her features creased into a smile. "Genetics, extended my life over and over. Unlike his useless father, I was going to ensure a future for me, do you know how many years I gave up for him and his brothers, I wanted more, and so I had them modify me, but I can assure you I am still all women." She finished grinning at Lister.

Even through this was the first female flirt he had experienced in some time Lister shuddered under the glare of her gaze. "Yeah I'm sure."

Rimmer glared at Lister.

"Oh come now Arnold your mother has needs, it's been along time since we had another human visitor to these parts." She said grinning.

"Look we're not stopping we only came to see the Election and now that's finished we will be going." Rimmer turned and made for the door.

Rimmers mum shot a remark across Rimmers path that stopped him dead. "Same old Arnold, always running away, always never wanting to go that next step. Isn't that what that girl you made friends with said. She wanted to share something special but you just ran away, like you normally do."

Rimmer span around to face her, anger in his eyes. "You leave her out of it, it was you not me that drove her away." He snapped.

"Really, that is not what she told me deary." She continued in mocking tones.

Rimmer took a deep breath and turned to Lister. "See this is why I didn't want to come, this is my mother, all snide and nothing ever good to say about me."

Lister just shrugged.

"That's not true Arnold, I am pleased to see you, in fact I have need of your help." She said in softer tones.

Rimmer turned to face her once more. 'Mother wanting my help was he hearing her right.' He thought.

"Come warm yourselves by my fire and I will tell you my plan." She cooed.

Rimmer relented and trudged over to one of the chairs like a small school boy who had just realised he had no other choice, the others quickly followed.

"So what do you want Mother?" asked Rimmer.

She smiled at him. "My dear boy, what I have always wanted for you, I want you to have power."

"Err what kind of power, are we talking Duracell or crazy I rule the world kinda power?" asked the Cat.

She ignored the Cats comment and continued her focus fully on Rimmer.

"This world is dieing Arnold, it's dieing because it needs a leader. Oh I have been able to hold it together with these elections but even they are no longer working. What is needed is a leader." She said looking at Rimmer.

Lister sniggered. "You do remember your son don't you?"

She shot him a look. "Of course I do, this snivelling excuse of a man could no more lead a conga party dance than rule this planet, but with me behind him it might work."

"Mother your mad, you've tuned into flipped FM and got off the bus at insanity road. " Said Rimmer.

Rimmer turned to the others. "Err chaps, I think we better be you know." He said motioning towards the door.

"Yeah I think we need to get back, don't want to miss tonight's episode of Tales from the Riverbank." Said Lister.

"Oh yes, and I've got a pile of laundry that just can't wait." Chipped in Kryten.

Only the Cat did not understand the signal was still looking into the flames of the fire. Only when Lister kicked him did he realise something was up. "What? Oh right yeah I got some serious beauty sleep needed lady."

They each had got up while Mrs Rimmer remained seated. As they moved to leave she spoke.

"You are all free to leave this world, but my son stays!"

Rimmer turned to protest and saw that look, his mothers look, but he had grown, he was not that little boy anymore, he set his jaw and spoke. "Listen mother, I am sure whatever your plans are, they are very nice, but I have another life now and so I am not staying."

A flare of shock registered in her eyes, had her son found some spine after all. 'Regardless, he will stay' she thought. She got up and called for the guards. "GUARDS!"

The two bulky figures from outside squeezed in and awaited instructions.

"Take my son here to the guest quarters but make sure he does not leave." She ordered.

The two nodded and made a move towards Rimmer. Lister gulped and stepped into the path of the oncoming two. "Where he goes I go." He said.

The guards looked to Rimmers mother for guidance. She nodded consent and they ushered the four out of the hut and towards the guest quarters.

"Lister I hope you have a plan." Asked Rimmer.

Lister looked slightly worried. "Sorry man, no plan, but I'm sure something will turn up."

More very soon.....