Clark's mourning/paternity time ended at the Planet and he was heartbroken to leave his baby. Lucy (Lois's little sister) flew in to be a live-in nanny, and I was amazed at how well she dealt with Caitlyn. Clark super sped home every day at lunch, and though he didn't go in the house, he would sit in his loft and listen to them, using his x-ray vision to watch. When Lucy went to visit her father, because when the general tells you to visit you visit, Martha came home to fill in.

He and Lois were busy on a new story, and a fresh lead had materialized. Clark was stressed. He was pacing at his desk, tapping a pen against his palm. Lois was watching him. She appeared to be typing intently away on her keyboard, but her eyes kept darting to Clark's face. She wore a deep frown. Lois was hating herself for feeling an attraction to Clark. It hadn't even been a year since my death, and she felt it was inappropriate. What she couldn't know was that I hated to see Clark so tense. I wanted him to be happy, but he wouldn't be, not without someone by his side. Someone he could tell about his day, his whole day - not just the part of the day where he chased down a lead that went absolutely nowhere, but also the part of his day where he had stopped a bank robbery before it even started.

They couldn't see it yet, but I could sense that the person for him to share these things with would be Lois. The problem was, Clark wasn't great about doing anything just for himself. He was always worried about making everyone else happy. Granted, something had clicked when he'd finally seen me, the me that loved him, and the me that he never knew he had loved back. I was proud of him for that. He'd actually made a decision and acted on it, without worrying about anybody but himself. It may sound selfish, but Clark Kent is anything but. He is the most selfless person on the planet. The fact that he'd been able to put his own happiness first had filled my heart with joy. Everything I had ever done was for him, and he finally had done something for himself. It was comparable to watching a child tie their shoes for the first time. It was something millions of people did on a daily basis without a thought, but for them is a moment of pure enlightenment.

Maybe if he'd been able to do it before he would do it again.

At home with his mom, Clark was still stressed. Dinner was long finished, but he was still seated at the table, staring off into oblivion.

"Mom, how long would you be willing to stay? To watch Caitlyn?" His mother turned worried eyes to her son. She was unsure, on edge.

"Why do you ask?"

"I, I need to finish my training. I have to learn how to embrace my entire Kryptonian heritage."

Martha sighed. She'd hoped her intuition had been wrong. "Do you really think this is the best time to leave?"

He nodded. He'd been thinking about it for weeks. This decision was the cause behind the lack of sleep, the pacing, and his inability to relax in general. This was a time when I would have sat him on the couch and curled up against him. He would have held me, telling me his thoughts, and eventually my calm would have consumed him. Now, I could only witness.

"If I go now, Caitlyn will have no memory of me being gone. Once I have accepted my fate, my destiny, I will be better equipped to protect this world. I'll be able to let my daughter grow up under the protection of myself."

Martha had already known the answer to her question. Clark did not take the decision of putting himself in his biological father's hands lightly. Jor-El had once trapped Clark in his fortress in hopes all humans he had a connection to would die and Clark could emerge with no human connections to hold him down. It hadn't worked. Clark's human connections proved stronger than Jor-El had anticipated.

I had a feeling I knew Clark's most important reason for returning to Jor-El's training. With me by his side, Clark had finally been able to let go of the ground and fly. But after losing me, and a part of himself, he'd been grounded. I was betting he hoped Jor-El would fix his 'wings'. I doubted that was something Jor-El could teach him. It seemed to have more to do with some fear deep inside Clark, a fear that was intertwined with his inability to show his true self to the world. When I had been his world, I had known the true Clark. He'd had to hide nothing from me, and it allowed him to feel free from the burden of living a double life. Now, he was back at square one.

Martha was holding Caitlyn, bouncing her gently as she walked around the kitchen cleaning up from dinner. The anxiety she emitted was almost deafening. I didn't need this new 'sixth sense' to understand and share what Martha was feeling. It frightened me to think of Clark going back up to the fortress. If something happened, our daughter would have to grow up without both of her parents.

"What I believe... What I know, is that I have no option. We know you have a destiny waiting for you. I understand that you do, eventually, need to reach your true potential. I will be here for Caitlyn whenever I need to be." Martha, still holding our baby girl, left the kitchen and Clark.

Clark gave his notice at the Planet and informed Lois he would be gone for some time. The most difficult part, outside of leaving his daughter, was devising a story that would make sense to Lois. He knew she would be upset with him for abandoning Caitlin. He truly is a mastermind. Telling Lois that he needed to attempt to reconnect with his biological father was pure genius. It wasn't a lie. She was completely understanding that having a child of his own gave him a desire to meet up with his own dad. She was completely supportive and even offered to drive him to the airport. He gently declined.

I failed to see Clark's ulterior motives for running off to the fortress. He was angry. Most of his hardest trials had been set in motion by Jor-El. In fact, his earthly father's death had been brought on indirectly, or maybe directly, by Jor-El. So it wasn't that far-fetched for Clark to blame him for my death. Once Clark had super sped out of Metropolis I had felt the anger rise, consuming him. It scared me.

Inside the fortress he had demanded an explanation.

"My son, a normal human woman could not bear your children," This was not a new understanding. "Had Chloe not been able to heal herself, she would not have made it as far through the birthing process as she did."

Clark was kneeling on the ice floor, truly confronting my death head on for the first time. His father's words were only echoing what we already knew. But there was another unvoiced question within Clark. I could feel his question, but had no way of knowing its exact nature.

"Kal-El, there was no way that you could have saved both mother and child. Yes, I could give you a second chance, but what would you do with it? Take the life away from a child who hasn't even yet had the chance to live?"

He was fighting it, but the feeling was starting to strengthen. Clark did not want to have to accept this truth, that he was defenseless against my death. There was nothing he could change to make the situation better. Different, maybe, but not better. He could never forgive himself for taking a child's life. And he was apologetic already for even doubting my decision. That realization was what finally allowed him to accept the truth. I wasn't coming back to him this time.

Knowing and accepting the truth did not make dealing with it any easier. He stood and closed his eyes, his baby girl's smiling face displayed behind his lids. My fate was not Caitlyn's fault.

"If anyone is to be blamed, it should be myself. However, Chloe would not forgive me for thinking that way." He was definitely right about that. "She made a great sacrifice for our family, and I shall not take that honor away from her." Isn't he the sweetest?

That was when I knew everything was going to be okay. I half expected to see 'the bright light', I felt so at peace. Part of me thought I just needed to see this moment. Though, it seemed I would be sticking around even longer. That was no disappointment to me, deep down I knew I was not ready to let go.