Broken Pieces
Chapter Three
Zebraboymom
Disclaimer: Not mine. Love them anyway.
Author Notes: Sorry this took so long. I'm having some trouble with Sciatica and I can't sit up for long periods of time. This is shorter than my usual chapters. Anyway, hopefully I am on the mend, so back to the story. The nightmares start, but confessions are afoot. Sometimes something beautiful can come out of something so very difficult.
Kono came up swinging and before he could react she caught him in the jaw. The girl was strong and he felt his teeth shudder. The nightmare must be pretty intense. He caught her hands as they continued to swing wildly and he tucked them down to her sides, holding her tightly.
"Get off me. I'll kill you. I'll kill you!"
"Kono! Kono! It's me, Steve. Please Kono. Wake up Honey. You're having a nightmare."
Kono struggled, but Steve held her still. He kept saying her name over and over until she collapsed against him.
"Steve?"
"Yeah. It's me."
"I was…"
"Yeah. Bad dream?"
Kono lifted her head to look at him and nodded. Her eyes caught sight of the angry red place on his cheek.
"Did I do that?"
"Um…"
"I did. Oh Steve, I'm so sorry. I would never hit you. You know that. Right? It was just so real."
Kono dropped her gaze and shook her head trying to clear away the remaining memories of the dream.
"Want to talk about it?"
"I…I'm not sure."
"It's not a good idea to bottle things up Kono. If you do, they will come out in ways you don't expect them to. Believe me. I know."
"You've been through this haven't you?"
"A few times."
"I'll talk about mine, if you talk about yours."
"Okay…deal."
"Come on."
Kono scooted over and patted the bed next to her indicating he should join her.
"You sure?"
"I think I can trust you."
Then she smiled for the first time in a while. Her dimples made his heart skip a beat just the way they always did. He was in the bed with her in seconds.
There was suddenly a long silence between them. Steve finally worked up the courage to start. He reminded himself this was for Kono. He hated drudging up the past. They were ugly memories and he'd rather push them back into the recesses of his mind.
"The first time I witnessed real horror as a SEAL was in Africa. There had been a military coup and our government was working with the old government to quell the military uprising. We came up on this village in pursuit of a column of soldiers. I had never seen that many dead bodies in my life. What made it so horrible was that it wasn't just soldiers. Don't get me wrong. I hate so see dead men, but when you see women and children and…babies…it just guts you."
Kono reached over and took Steve's hand in hers and squeezed it.
"Most of the women had been raped…some…kids…too and some of the men had been tortured. It was just a nightmare in reality. I couldn't get my arms around it. It took us three days to bury everyone. It took months to get the images out of my head."
Steve felt Kono's soft hand brushing his cheek and it was then that he realized tears were sliding quietly down his cheeks. He covered her hand with his and pressed it to his face, leaning into her touch.
"I…I've never told anyone that story before."
"I'm so glad you trusted me with it Steve. I feel really close to you right now."
"Me too."
They gazed into each other's eyes before Steve encouraged her to talk.
"Tell me about the dream. Please Kono?"
"I was back in that room again and he had the girl, only this time I didn't have a gun and he killed her. We started fighting over the knife and he was stabbing me over and over again and I couldn't stop him. I kept trying to call your name, but I couldn't."
Now it was Steve's hand on her cheek wiping fresh tears away. In a second Kono was in his arms.
"I'm so sorry Kono. I'm so sorry I didn't get there fast enough. I wish it had been me. I just wish it had been me."
Kono clung to Steve so hard he thought his ribs might break. He ran his hands soothingly up and down her back and up into her hair.
He rocked her gently as she began to calm down in his embrace. He could hold her like this forever. Nothing had ever felt so right.
What started out as tender and caring slowly started to turn into something more. Kono looked up at Steve and their lips were just inches apart. Steve looked down at hers and then into her chocolate brown eyes wet with tears. He had never seen anything more beautiful and inviting than her right at that moment.
He closed his eyes and gently pressed his lips to hers. Kono sighed this cute little mew that sent him over the edge. He kissed her again and again, alternating between soft and tender and a more aggressive display. When Kono deepened the kiss, he folded her completely into his arms and responded with as much love as he could show through his actions. They finally pulled apart and Steve spoke with a shaky voice.
"Wow! Just…wow."
He started to gain control of his emotions and immediately felt guilty.
"Kono, I never intended this to happen…well…like this. "
Kono misunderstood him and started to pull back.
"I'm sorry Steve. I should have better control than this. I must seem so needy right now."
"Kono. No. It's not you. It's my fault. I mean…I don't want to take advantage of you. It's easy in a situation like this to want to stop the pain with a substitute. It's also easy to be confused about your feelings when you are this vulnerable. I care a lot about you and I want to be clear with you. I want this. I want you, but only when you're doing better. Okay?"
Kono's loving look almost made him go back on his word.
"You keep looking at me like that and everything I just said isn't going to matter one bit."
Kono's flushed face turned up to his again.
"Really?"
"Yes, really. You have no idea how long I've been smitten with you."
"Smitten? Steve McGarrett is smitten?"
"Smitten doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about you Kono, but let's save that conversation for another time. Right now, how about we get some sleep, okay?"
"Okay, but will you stay with me Steve?"
"Wild horses couldn't drag me away Sweetheart."
Steve lay on his back and pulled Kono over onto his chest as he wrapped his arm around her and she slipped her arm across his waist. The comforting sound of his heartbeat started to lull her to sleep.
They lay there for a while just listening to each other breath, both lost in their thoughts.
"Thanks for telling me your story Steve. I know it must be hard to dredge that stuff back up. It means a lot that you shared it with me. I just felt so helpless, you know? No matter what I did it wasn't going to matter."
"What you do matters every day. We solve cases all the time. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose, but I have never doubted your commitment, your instincts or your skills. You got that?"
Kono was silent.
"Hey."
Steve tilted her face up to his.
"Are you listening to me?"
Kono nodded her head slowly.
"You can believe what I'm saying. I would never lie to you Honey."
Kono nodded again and her voice was soft and emotional.
"O…okay."
Steve leaned up and kissed her softly then hugged her tightly. He reached to pull the light covers over them. Tucking them in, he smiled down at her.
"Come on. Close those gorgeous eyes of yours and go to sleep. I'll be right here, always."
The last thing Kono remembered was Steve softly stroking her arm where it rested on his chest. She knew she could get through anything with him beside her.
Steve looked down at Kono as she drifted off. All his protective feelings were for her right now. He would do anything to get her through this. He loved her and he would make sure she came out on the other side of this. The one thing he didn't tell her was that this was just the beginning. They had a lot of funerals ahead of them and each and every one of them would tear at their hearts.
Steve ran his hand over Kono's silky hair and snuggled her closer. For tonight he could protect her. That's the best he could offer for now…that and his love. They would face tomorrow together. He drifted off holding her safely in his arms.
