Love to Burn Chapter 3: The Passion of the Chase

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Zoey 101, or Chase and Logan, cause if I did, this would be on your TV and not just on your computer screens.

A/N: You know, I can't tell if you like my story if you don't tell me. I want to know what happens next just as much as you, so let me know if you care so I can keep writing! And btw, when I refer to someone as a 'bitch' later on, I mean the literal interpretation of a female dog in heat, no just the typical insult.

For as long as I can remember, I've been holding myself back. Everything I've always wanted was given to me without any effort. And the first time I had to fight for anything, I crashed and burned. That feeling… that unforgettable feeling of failure. I never want to feel like that again. I won't allow myself to go back to that dark place, where all I could see was an easy end to everything. I forever regret the day I took that path.

So it had been a week since I spilled my guts to Chase, and everyday that passed I kept regretting that decision more and more. He hadn't really talked to me since that night, but he wouldn't let me out of his sight. It would have been fine, if he weren't so bad at being discreet. On Tuesday he tried to hide in a bush when I was going to the library, but I could hear him mumbling about how he hated bushes and caught him, to which he responded by running away and tripping on a skateboard. On Wednesday, he insisted on going with me to the basketball tryouts, even though he didn't want to try out. The coach told him he had to though, or else he'd kick him out the gym. Chase isn't good with his feet. I couldn't concentrate afterwards, so I ended up pulling a Chase and didn't make the team.

Finally on Thursday, he did something I found particularly odd. Over the summer I'd started to grow some really annoying stubble on my chin and I had to go shave. When Chase saw my razor though, he practically barricaded the door with his body. I wasn't about to let my chin get all hairy, so I pushed him out of the way, but that didn't seem to stop him, as he followed me to the bathrooms and kept warning me about how he'd done a research paper on how 'blades are sharp'.



Now, I'm not sure what kind of idiot Chase takes me for, or if he's just really bad at trying to hide something, but it was obvious he was on to me. But it was too soon to make assumptions, so I decided to try and pry something out of him before jumping to conclusions.

I tried to be as subtle as I could so I wouldn't scare my prey.

"WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ACTING SO WEIRD CHASE?! Ever since Monday you've been following me everywhere without saying anything. And you're popping out of bushes!" Subtle, right?

Chase was taken aback by my statement, and proceeded to sit down and stare, but not directly at me. He looked at my eyes for a second, and then towards my wristbands.

"I thought that might be the reason…" I said with my voice melting into the shame I felt for letting Chase see my wounds.

"That's all you have to say?! Logan how could you do something like this?!"

It was my turn to be surprised. It almost seemed like tears were welling up in his eyes and there was a clear face of concern behind his seemingly caring anger. I just wanted to apologize to him, to tell him how sorry I was for making him worry about me, but my pride wouldn't let me acknowledge the friendship he was trying to offer me.

"You don't understand. How could you, with your perfect life…"

For about a second, I felt like I was absolutely right. Chase had a perfect life in my eyes. His parents were always calling and sending him things. He was so loveable that he made friends with anyone that came across him. And most importantly, he had Zoey, and I was sure she was the source of his happiness. But I took the time to look at the person I was lashing out on. It was the one person I never wanted to hurt. So why? WHY! Why was he the only person I was trying to hurt?

"Logan, why?" he asked, regaining his composure.

This simple, calm question baffled me to a point where I almost forgot how to speak. All I've done from the beginning is make Chase feel horrible, and guilty for my misery, even though it wasn't his fault. It wasn't my intention either, but I keep my emotions bottled up for a reason; I can't control them. So how can he just say it so calmly as if I hadn't yelled at him at all?

"Why what?" I said, figuring it was better to keep talking aloud than to pound my own brain into oblivion trying to figure myself out. My voice was fading, losing its strength, and I wasn't sure how long I could stay on the defensive.

"Your wrists."
"They're just cold."

"This isn't funny, Logan. I know what you're hiding and I wanna know why."



"Chase I… I didn't mean for you…"
"WHY LOGAN!"

For the first time in a long time, Chase was furious at something, and I was in his line of fire. Angry Chase is a very frightening entity, and I think it was the fear that caused me to continue to recite to him my life story.

"You wouldn't understand…"

"Try me."

"Fine." I said, deciding that if I was going to tell him, he might as well hear the whole story.

"My father left my mother right before he went to shoot his movie in Hawaii. He had been having an affair for three years now with his assistant. She hates me, and she's the reason my father hates me too. Every time I try to get near him that harpy blocks my path and puts lies in his head about how I'm such a spoiled brat and I deserve to be sent to military school for all my nonexistent insubordination. It's been almost a year since I've had a real conversation with him. She was the one who greeted me when I got to Hawaii, and she won my father's complete affection and devotion without even trying. I was the loser, and I never wanted to see her hideous face again, so without thinking, I took her advice and… I…"

By this time, I was obviously stammering, three seconds from bawling my eyes out. Saying it all aloud was much harder than I thought it'd be. I wasn't over it yet. How can a son forget the day his father forgot him, and the day his new stepmother handed him the means to forever disappear. I couldn't contain myself any longer, so I fell. On the ground, with my tears, I felt nothing, and at the same time, all the sadness of the world. It was warm and inviting… and it wasn't the ground anymore. Blinded by my tears, I hadn't noticed that I was cradled in his arms. It was the first time I felt wanted again, and I was happy, if even for only that one moment.

There was only silence now. We didn't need words. I could feel what he was trying to say to me. I could feel that all he wanted was to bring comfort to the boy who was crying out in front of him, but my mind put a halt to my heart. I knew this was only a manifestation of his friendship, and nothing more. It wasn't what I truly wanted, but I would never let it end if I had a choice.

"I'm sorry Logan. I didn't know."
"You're not the one who needs to apologize. I've been horrible to you ever since we got back, and all you wanted was to care."
"At least you get it now."

He let go of me and we sat on the floor. That night was… strange to say the least. I told Chase everything; how my stepmother was the one who told me the world would be better off without me and put the razor blades in my room, how my suicide attempt had me in the hospital until the day school began, and by dawn, I even told the worst part of it all.

"Zoey found out?!" he said sounding more surprised than I expected.



"Yeah. She saw the hospital staff drop me off at school. I think she overheard them when they explained to me how to take my medication. I thought you'd have noticed she's been avoiding me and giving me awful looks all week."

"I just thought you guys had a fight."

"We did. She came up to me right after the staff left and interrogated me. The basic gist of it all was 'Logan, trying to kill yourself is a sin, and you will burn in hell for all your earthly crimes'."

Chase looked very confused. I was apparently revealing to him a side of Zoey he didn't know, or maybe, didn't want to know. I couldn't very well poison the perfect image he held of her, even if I knew how dark her heart truly was.

"Chase, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say..." I began.

"No, it's okay. I trust you. I know you're not lying."

This whole trust thing was a little uncomfortable. It was completely new to me to have some one look at you in the eyes with only sincerity and compassion looking back.

The next day had the two of us much closer than before. I was laughing instead of slashing away at my pain. I was happy… until we ran into Zoey.

"Hi Chase!! How are you! I feel like I haven't seen you in days." She said as she completely ignored me and jumped on top of Chase like the horny bitch she was, completely wrapping her legs around him and holding position for a good minute before returning to her feet.

"Hey Zoey. I thought you had Bible Study right now."
"Yeah, but I had to ask you something. The Homecoming dance is tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me."

I had completely forgotten about the dance in the midst of all my own problems. Zoey apparently hadn't as she had her hands around Chase's waist as if they were a real couple. It was sickening to me how she could preach about purity and act the way she just did.

She finally looked at me as she waited for Chase's answer. There was this well defined hatred in it, and simply being around her made chills run down my spine. But she was still Chase's friend, and I had no right to stop him from talking to her.

"Sure Zo, but I already told Logan I'd go with him. We can all go together if you want."

Typical Chase; he's always trying to be nice to everyone. I doubt Zoey would acquiesce to this, though.

"But Logan's a guy! And he's a sinner. I already told you that associating with the likes of him is going to get you in trouble with the lord!"



"Zoey, what does him being a guy have anything to do with us going to the dance as friends?"

"I can't be associated with a sinner!" And with that she walked away with a heavy sigh of frustration, looking back to give me what I perceived to be her interpretation of the evil eye.

I knew I was going to mess up the moment, but I just had to ask.

"Why did you do that Chase? You could have just gone with her and I'd have gone by myself. "

"Yeah, but I already promised we'd go. And besides, I don't wanna let you out of my sight."

"Afraid something bad might happen?"

"Something like that."

Chase was unusually straightforward about this, and it made me feel strange… almost like he liked me.

"Thanks Chase."

The night of the dance, there was a knock on our door. It was the girls, all three of them, together. I knew Zoey wouldn't give up her claim to Chase so easily.

"Hey guys. I thought you didn't want us all to go together Zo." Chase said, almost completely forgetting the way she'd treated me earlier.

"I changed my mind. The girls convinced me." Zoey said as she attached herself to Chase's arm, beckoning him to leave ahead of Quinn, Lola and myself.

"Hey Logan, save a dance for me okay." Chase said as Zoey sped through the door with him attached to her.

"Hey Logan, what about a dance with us?" Quinn asked me.

"Yeah… of course" I said, but it was clear that my mind was somewhere else.

On our way to the gym, Quinn and Lola started questioning me rather profusely. It was almost intimidating, but what they had to say was very revealing.

"So Logan," Ouinn began, "I heard that you joined a cult over the summer."
"Yeah, Zoey says you had to make some type of 'blood sacrifice' to join." Lola added.

Anger was my initial response, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"What else did she say?"



"Well," Lola started this time, "She said that you went crazy and tried to kill yourself because your dad didn't buy you…"

"Zoey's a liar! She doesn't know anything!" I blurted out angrily, scaring the girls without realizing. "I didn't join a cult or anything! I did try to commit suicide, but it's none of her business!"

The girls knew everything, told to them from another's mouth. It was insulting, not only because Zoey was spreading rumors, but she was telling people what happened to me without any consideration for me.

In only two weeks time, I'd had enough of this new and insanely warped Zoey, and revealing something like that was the last straw.

I made my way to the gym, but what awaited me wasn't my retribution on Zoey, but the image of her lips on those of Chase.

A/N: I do deeply apologize if Zoey's overly religious views bother anyone. It isn't my intention to put down anyone's faith, I just need a catalyst to spark the insanity we all know is in Zoey. Do be sure to review and tell me if it's okay, or if I really need to tone it down. Please R&R, for Logan's sake.

With love, myself.