A/N: Wow it's really been a while hasn't it... Er sorry ^_^ I blame Boris my plot bunny. He just wasn't playing ball with this fic, but after much bribing with toblerone he finally decided to inspire. So yeah... where was I up to... Oh right... SMUT! Thar be smut in this chapter because I need a smut blow out lol!

Warnings: As if the authors note didn't give it away SMUT glorious, glorious SMUT! Drunken shenanigans and random insanity.

To my anon reviewers:

Skie89: Thank you ^_^ I'm glad you like the idea. I hope I have been able to provide in this chapter

Chapter Two: Alcohol although good for the soul is bad for the sanity.

Three hours later found Iruka sitting in some random bar in the middle of Soho. The music was pumping loudly through ridiculously oversized speakers, which had the brunette wondering if the club owner was compensating for something. But if Iruka was perfectly honest he really didn't care at that precise moment in time, in fact the only thing he cared about was the double Jack and coke (his sixth) stood in front of him. He downed the drink in one go and motioned to the bar-man for another. The bar-man looked at him with slightly worried but complied bringing another glass over and setting it down in front of him.

Iruka sighed in contentment as he shook the glass, causing the ice to tinkle gently. Although the mission so far had been a complete pile of shit (the flight, his luggage, his 'escort' conveniently not turning up) there was nothing like drowning your sorrows in a shitload of alcohol and to hell with everything until tomorrow. The haze of drunken oblivion was beginning to settle over the brunette and Iruka welcomed it with open arms, the less he remembered about the day in general the happier he was going to be.

Time seemed to crawl by, the club became busier and louder and people were crammed into every available space. Iruka watched on with the amusement reserved for the completely smashed as the bodies ground up against one another, the odd man getting slapped for pushing a little too far. Sipping his drink he barely noticed as someone approached him until the hot breath was breathing down his earlobe.

"Hey there gorgeous."

Glazed brown eyes widened and Iruka turned his head to the left, almost colliding with the owner of the voice. Stood beside him was a man in his early thirties, dark hair, dark eyes and skin tone a few shades darker than Iruka's own. He appeared to be quite handsome but that could have been the alcohol talking, Iruka furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, was it the alcohol talking? The man took his silence as encouragement and slipped a hand around Iruka's shoulder.

"Let me buy you a drink."

"Uh..." Iruka mentally commended himself on his eloquence.

"Bar-man two drinks please."

The brunette knew deep in the recesses of his mind that this was a bad idea, scratch that, it was a colossally bad idea to end all bad ideas. But his drink addled brain had heard the offer of free booze and decided to ignore all the warning signs. The bar-man approached glasses in hand and handed them to the man, who handed over a twenty pound note motioning for the bar-man to keep the change. Iruka took the pro-offered drink and downed it quickly beside him the dark skin man just grinned and ordered another. This time however the man palmed a pill and handed it to the bar-man as he paid twice as much as he needed to. The bar-man nodded solemnly and dropped the small white object into Iruka's glass where it fizzed briefly and disintegrated before handing it to the unscrupulous man. The brunette stared at the glass as it was handed to him and looked surprised as the man raised his own in a toast.

"To new friends."

Iruka snorted "To a fucking shitty day."

The man laughed and raised his glass to his lips taking a long swig, Iruka followed suit but as he was about to take a mouthful, a pale hand covered the top of the glass and pushed it out of his hand. The glass fell to the floor with a barely noticeable smash and Iruka felt his anger begin to swirl. Couldn't he even get pissed in peace? He turned to face his accoster ready to unload on the stranger and stopped dead in his tracks.

The man was gorgeous.

Actually forget that the man was fucking gorgeous and Iruka was convinced it wasn't beer goggles. The man in front of him was wiry built with all muscle, clear pale skin, gravity defying silver hair, and a ruggedly handsome face. But the thing that caught Iruka's attention the most was the man's eyes; he had a scar running over his left eye which unlike his other stormy coloured eye was a deep crimson with a split pupil. It was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. The contemplation was rudely interrupted as the dark haired man rounded on the newcomer, venom flashing in his eyes.

"What the hell do you think you are doing!" He snarled.

The silver haired man looked bored and took his time in answering the accusation.

"I believe I was knocking a drink out of his hand."

There was a growl from the other man and Iruka just continued to stare dumbfounded.

"You stupid idiot can't you see that he's with me!" The man moved behind the brunette and placed a possessive hand around his waist.

A silver brow rose "Really, I had no idea." His voice was laden with sarcasm "However I'm quite sure the gentleman prefers his drinks un-spiked."

Iruka's eyes went wide at the last comment and then narrowed angrily; he swivelled in the man's grasped and levelled him with his most deadly look. The dark skinned man shifted uncomfortably under the intense stare and swiftly removed his hand, for fear it may be torn off.

"H-he's lying, I-I would never..."

"If you're not lying then why are you stuttering?" Iruka demanded, sobriety suddenly hitting him.

"I-I-I..."

The next few minutes appeared to happen in slow motion, Iruka drew back his fist and slammed it into the dark skinned mans cheek bone sending him flying into the throng of bodies crowding the dance floor. The man crashed into what appeared to be a woman at first glance but as 'she' turned around it was quite obvious that 'she' was a 'he'. The front of 'his' dress was darkly stained with alcohol and there was angry look in 'his' eyes. With a screech that would put an Amazon the shame the drag queen launched himself at the dazed man and proceeded to pummel seven shades of shit out of him. The dance floor erupted into chaos as left and right people were drawn into the fight, within a few moments it seemed as though the whole room was involved in the brawl. Happy with the chaos he had wrought Iruka leaned back against the bar and watched the brawl suddenly feeling right at home. It reminded him of Konoha on a Saturday night.

Beside him the silver haired man looked on in amusement as the bouncers tried to step in. He turned to the brunette a smile across his face.

"Hmm... not bad."

Iruka grinned "I try, I try. Jackass deserved it though."

"True... However I think it's time we should be leaving."

"We? Leaving?"

The silver haired man pointed down the bar where the bar-man was chatting with two rather burly looking bouncers. The server pointed directly at the two men and the bouncers started toward them, alarmed Iruka looked for an exit but in the unfamiliar surroundings and inebriated state he was screwed.

Royally screwed.

Goddamn it not being able to use jutsu, this is exactly what they were made for!

He was roused from his blurry mind state as a cool hand clamped over his wrist, he turned to the silver haired man confusion etched on his face.

"Follow me." He commanded.

Iruka didn't even fight as the stranger pulled him toward an exit.

The two men ran through the back corridors of the club and Iruka resisted the urge to laugh like a maniac. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had this much fun, it really had been far too long since he'd cut loose. Maybe this mission wouldn't be completely sucky after all. Ahead of him the silver haired man crashed through a heavy door and out into the open night. The cool air hit Iruka's skin and made his head swim as he collided into the back of his helper sending them both tumbling into the wall of the alley. The silver haired man hissed as the air was forced out of his lungs as Iruka's sluggish body leaned against him.

"You're heavy." Was all he grunted out.

"You're comfortable..."

The silver haired man chuckled and the sound reverberated through Iruka setting his alcohol addled nerves on fire. Brown eyes met mismatched grey and red and there was a moment of hesitance between the two men and then it seemed as if the whole world exploded. Lips met in an impassioned frenzy as both men tried to devour one another in the alleyway, hands began to grope and fondle seemingly uncaring that they were in public.

"You knocking that guy into next week was the hottest thing I have seen in ages."

"To much talk..."

"Ngh... Can't do this here..." The silver haired man groaned, writhing in Iruka's grip.

"Hotel... Across the road... Have room..."

No more words needed to be spoken.

Ten minutes later found both men in Iruka's hotel room practically ripping the clothes off one another. The tanned man took great pleasure as the pale expanse of skin was unveiled to him. He was sure that this was the alcohol talking but he hadn't gotten laid in so long he really didn't care and let's face it he was never going to see this guy ever again. Iruka groaned as the silver haired man bit down on his nipple and bucked his hips.

"Hm... Like that?"

"Yes..." The brunette moaned.

"Let's see what else you like."

The man moved down Iruka's body licking and caressing, eliciting moans of pleasure from the brunette. Finally getting impatient Iruka shoved the pale man down onto the bed and straddled his waist, crashing their erections together. Both men let out a throaty groan as the friction built up between them, the silver haired man growled and grasped Iruka's hips flipping them over. The brunette was shocked; the man was strong for a civilian.

"I'm going to fuck you now." The voice was low and sultry and sent shudders down Iruka's spine.

Unable to utter a word Iruka simply nodded as the pale man slunk down his body, teasing and caressing. He blew across the numerous scars littering the tanned torso and raised a silver brow in question.

"Army?"

"Sort of..." Iruka choked out, as a hot mouth enveloped his cock.

The brunette groaned and thrust forward into the welcoming warmth, he wanted to just come right there and then but he restrained himself. The silver haired pulled away a smirk gracing his features before accosting Iruka once again. He relished the strangled gasps that he was ripping from the tanned mans throat, the noise fuelling the heady lust flowing through his body. This man was just so damned sexy and enticing and he just wanted to be buried in the tight looking body. He groped around in his discarded pants for the small tube of lubricant and pulled it out; popping the lid he slicked his fingers and began to probe the brunette's entrance.

Above him Iruka squirmed as a cool finger slid inside and gave a small grunt as the burning sensation of being stretched rippled through his body, it had been quite a while since his last time. The pale man slowed his movements and looked up at the brunette, loving the wanton look splayed across his scarred face.

"Are you ready for more?" he asked in all seriousness.

"Yes... Fuck, yes."

Iruka tried to impale himself on the finger as the finally brushed against his prostate sending shooting waves of pleasure through his over sensitized body. Silver hair hanging limply in his face the man complied and began inserting more fingers slowly stretching the passage. Finally unable to hold back the man withdrew his fingers, positioned his slicked cock at the entrance and pushed inside. Both men let out a breathy moan at the contact and Iruka felt his body begin to melt into the sensations. The man began to increase his pace thrusting quickly into Iruka, his cock hitting the brunette's prostate with every well aimed thrust and causing him to cry out in ecstasy. Eventually it was too much and Iruka came hard his entire body clenching with toe-curling pleasure, his bed fellow didn't last much longer and after a few jerky thrusts he came, shouting loudly.

The silver haired man collapsed on Iruka and the brunette just grunted as the blackness of unconsciousness began to slip in. He knew he would probably regret this in the morning but right now he was to sated and drunk to care.

~End Chapter Two~

A/N: Yay! At last... I wrote this last night on my night shift so I apologise if it sucks! I do however feel a WHOLE lot better now; I really needed to get that smut out of my system. Hopefully next chapter will have some actual plot Dun dun dunnnnnn!

Next Chapter: Enter Hatake Kakashi, pervert, genius, jackass: In which Iruka experiences the morning after and all hell once again breaks loose.