Ahoy, everyone! I know, I suck! I can't update regularly DON'T HATE ME! *breaks down and cries*

Anyways, a big thank you to my good friend: 'FadingEcho12193' for helping me write some of this chapter. She will be contributing to the future chapters of this story as well.

I hope you enjoy.

Cheers.

~HolyMaryMotherofGawd


Location: Titan's Tower, Kitchen

Time: 11:30 AM

Cyborg yawned as he walked into the Common Room and stretched his arms as he made his way to the kitchen. He opened the fridge for a second before remembering that he needed a plate, because plates are kind of important. He opened his cupboard and recoiled slightly at what he found inside.

"Who the hell are you?" the black bionic teen asked.

"I'm an Indian."

"Ok, so what the hell are you doing in my cupboard?"

"I dunno." The Indian in the cupboard asked. "Stuff."

"Get out of my cupboard."

"Fuck you."


Location: Titan's Tower, Machina's Room

Time: 11:32 PM

Machina sat on the couch in the Common Room, watching another thrilling episode of The Walking Dead. Michonne had just sprayed a massive bunch of Crazy Cheese into her mouth, and was pretending to be a walker with the cheesy paste shit dangling out of her mouth. And Carl, being the little fuck that he was, didn't even laugh.

"Carl, you little shit I hope Michonne pimp-slaps the living fuck outta you with her katanna." Machina mumbled to himself.

Machina was so engrossed in his show that he failed to notice a blonde-haired shadow slowly creep up from behind him. Holding a rag soaked with chloroform.

"You don't-" the shadowy figure sang to itself as it approached Machina. "-wanna fuck with Shady."

Machina, completely convinced he was hearing the song "Kill You" somewhere off in the distance, stated the next lyric. "Why?"

"'Cuz Shady-" the figure rose up above from behind the circular couch, revealing himself to be Marshall fucking Mathers. "-will fucking kill you!"

Eminem roughly shoved the chloroform rag over Machina's mouth, and he blacked out in an instant.


Location: Eminem's Rap Castle

Time: Unknown

Machina opened his eyes to a fuzzy and blurry world. He blinked a couple of times before realizing that he was staring up at a ceiling with bright lights hanging down from that same ceiling, that being the place that lights are usually hung. Unless you're an alien or some shit like that.

"About time." he heard the voice of Raven say. Machina sat up and his jaw dropped at the fuckery that he saw.

Eminem and Raven were sitting opposite to one another at a circular table, both wearing a white top hat and sipping tea out of fancy tea cups. Eminem had his pinkie up in the air.

"Ayo, dawg!" Eminem yelled at Machina. "Come join us!"

Machina jumped up and glared at his idol. "DID YOU CHLOROFORM ME!?"

"Uh. Yes."

"I AM NOT A 21 YEAR OLD COLLEGE STUDENT WALKING ALONE IN THE WOODS AT ONE IN THE MORNING!"

"I understand why you are frustrated, Machina." Eminem said, being completely calm. "I just told Raven here that she could invite one more Titan to my tea party, and she chose you."

"You...chose me?" Machina said, eyes going wide.

"Yes." Raven replied.

"Me of all people?"

"Yeppers."

"Alright" Machina walked to the table trying to look cool as he sat down next to a pink fairy plushie that he was convinced was demonic somehow.

Raven stared at him for a second or two before asking him. "The fuck you think you're doing?"

"SITTING THE FUCK DOWN, YO!" *SLAP*

Machina was in shock he looked at Eminem.

"Did-did you just bitch slap me?!" In response to Machina's question, Eminem's eyes narrowed and his lips moved into a tough pout.

"You don't yell at Raven." Eminem replied like Dafuq man isn't that OBVI? GET ON MY LEVEL MAN DO YOU EVEN ASSASSINS CREED MAN!

Raven spoke acting like nothing happened "You can't sit down without the proper attire." she said as she nonchalantly took a sip of her tea.

"Oh, okay. What do I need?" Machina asked. Raven pointed to the very buff homosexual Mexican wearing a pink and blue balarina outfit with the word "Revolution" on it and a white top hat that had suddenly appeared behind him.

"Juanita here will help you get dressed" The Real Slim Shady explained sipping his tea.

"Wat." Machina said as he was picked up by Juanita and carried out of the room. The two partygoers proceeded to sip their tea while a series of screams, cries of pain and "NO THAT DOESNT FIT!"'s Came from the room.

*MEAN-FUCKING-WHILE IN THE ROOM OF FUCK*


Location: Eminem's Rap Castle, Room of Fuck

Time: Unknown

"THAT DOESNT FIT!" Machina yelled as Juanita tried to force the poor boy into a hideous looking muddy green skinny jeans, then he screamed because she (or is it he?) had stuck him really hard with a pin (don't laugh those things are fucking huge! They hurt too! Like a Fucker of Mothers, I tell ye!) for squirming too much. She somehow got the pants on him and shoved him out the door, saying how beautiful he looked and how he will seduce the evil candy rapper and the Revolution would be over. Machina was wearing a pink and purple party suit muddy green skinny jeans and a white top hat. Machina stared down at his trousers in a mix of shock, disgust, horror, and pain.

"THIS IS THE MOST TESTICLE-CRUSHINEST, SPERMINEST-KILLENEST, SCROTUMUS-STRANGELENESS, PENIS-ASPHYXIATIN' JEANS I DONE EVER WORE!" Machina exclaimed. He soon walked-more like waddled-out to the tea party room for all to see.

Raven and Eminem stared for a few seconds. Raven started to laugh but he was cut off by Slim "You look FABULOUS, AND BY FABULOUS I MEAN DOPE! I ALWAYS KNEW JUANITA HAD GREAT TASTE! OH NOW I KNOW WHAT IM GONNA WEAR WHEN I MEET THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!"

"Wait a minute..." Machina narrowed his eyes.

"What is it?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.

"THAT EMINEM'S A SPY!" Machina yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the blonde haired rapper from Detroit.

"omg u srs?" Juanita was shocked.

"I AM VERY SRS!" Machina practically screamed. "EMINEM WOULD NEVER WEAR SOMETHING LIKE THAT! EVER! NEVER EVER FOR FOREVER NEVER!"

"UH NO I AM NOT GOOD SIR YOU ARE SURELY MISTAKEN YES!" Mr. Mathers yelled out.

"OH REALLY?" Machina shouted again. "RECITE THE LYRICS TO THE REAL SLIM SHADY RIGHT NOW!"

"UH!" The accused imposter stuttered. "I'm Slim Shady, I am for sure the truest Slim Shady, all of the other Slim Shady's are just copying..."

The copier was met with a swift kick in the face.


Location: Murikami High School, Algebra class.

Time: 1:15 PM

Terra Markov was doing the assignment written on the board. She turned to the appropiate page, and started on the first question. It showed a 90 degree angle triangle. The bottom side had a value of '15', and the height value was '23'. Finally, the longest side had an 'x' above it. The question read: "Find 'x'."

Terra promptly circled the 'x' and wrote 'HERE IT IS' beside it. She chuckled to herself.

"Heh. Math is easy."

The bell rang, interrupting Terra's genius moment. She gathered her things and left for the next class. She decided she needed to stop in the restroom, so she headed for the nearest women's washroom. She did HER BUISINESS I'M NOT DESCRIBING THAT YOU SICK FUCK-anyways. She did that stuff, and then went to freshen up.

As she leaned over the sink however, Beast Boy popped out of one of the toilets, ran over to her, and bear hugged her from behind. Terra screamed.

"Ah! HELP!" Terra yelled. "BEAST BOY! I SAID I DON'T REMEMBER YOU AND STUFF LET GO OF ME BEFORE I RIP OFF EACH ONE OF YOUR FINGERS AND STUFF THEM UP YOUR ASS!"

Then Beast Boy stuck his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. The noise he made after doing so was akin to an orgasm.

"GURL I MISS THE SMELL OF YOUR HAAAIIIIRRRRRRRRRR!" Beast Boy said in a groaning/growly voice.

He then jumped back into the toilet and flushed himself down.


Location: Eminem's Rap Castle, Tea Party Room

Time: Unknown

"Tell me where The Real Slim Shady is kept!" Machina yelled, holding the imposter by his collar.

"I won't tell you anything!" The Mathers illusion said in jest.

Machina grabbed the imposter's ear and twisted it 360 degrees. Slim cried out in pain.

"Wanna talk now?" Machina said in a terrifying growl.

"NEVER!"

Machina turned the ear another 360 degrees.

"AH, OKAY GOD FINE I GIVE JESUS CHRIST DUDE STAHP!"

"WHERE IS HE!?"

"He's tied up in the bathroom, I swear!" The imposter started to cry.

Machina smacked the fake Shady in the face and ran to the washroom. He opened the door to find Marshall Mathers tied up and gagged on the bathroom floor. Machina promptly untied him and removed the tape from his mouth.

"Eminem! What happened?" Machina asked.

"That fucker knocked me out, tied me up, and threw me in the washroom!" Marshall replied.

"There's only one problem, though." Raven, who was standing in the doorway stated. "Who's that?" she pointed to the fake Eminem lying on the ground trying to restore feeling into his ear.

"I know who it is." Slim Shady walked to the body and picked the imposter up by the collar. He then pulled off a holo-ring that was on his finger, the disguise distorted to show...

"Ray Benzino! My old nemesis!" Eminem said in an accusatory voice. "Back for more, I see?"

"Yes, it is I!" Benzino said in a gasped breath. Eminem threw him down to the floor.

"I thought we squashed this beef back in '06!" Eminem nearly shouted.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT!" Benzino yelled, jumping to his feet. "NOW I AM BACK FOR MORE!"

Benzino grabbed Eminem and threw down a smoke bomb. When the smoke cleared, there were about 30 Eminems in the room, all sitting on the floor.

"Holy butts!" Raven yelled. "Which is the real one?"

"Let's find out!" Machina said firmly, stepping forward. He raised his arms into the air and inhaled deeply.

"WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP!" He yelled.

Suddenly, the Slim Shady that was in the 4th row, 2nd to the left stood up. "Yo!" it yelled.

An Eminem smack dead in the middle of the room also stood up. "Curses! Foiled again!" He took off his holo-ring, revealing himself to be Ray Benzino. "Later, fuck nuts!" he yelled before promptly jumping out the window.

Suddenly an alarm blared! In about 5 seconds, Dr. Dre stuck his head in the room.

"Marshall! This is urgent! The computers have detected that Ray Benzino has released a diss track against you!"

"Are you serious!?" Slim Shady asked.

"And that's not all!" Dr. Dre's tone was urgent as he stepped into the room. "The track features Ja Rule, Everlast, Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon, and Limp Bizkit!"

"All of my old enemies..." Eminem said to himself.

"Oh, and The Insane Clown Posse is outside of your door with a missile launcher." Dre finished.

The entire room was silent.

"Well, fuck."


Location: Titan's Tower, Kitchen

Time: 2:30 PM (he's been here arguing with the Indian for 3 hours)

Cyborg was getting really frustrated. This Indian in the Cupboard just wouldn't fucking move. He needed a plate, desperately.

"Seriously, get the hell out of the cupboard!" Cyborg nearly shouted.

"No, fuck you! I'm not-I'm not moving! Fuck you!" The Indian replied.

"Seriously, get o-"

"I said fuck you!"

"That's it, I'm calling the police."


WILL THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE ATTACK EMINEM'S RAP CASTLE? WILL EMINEM, MACHINA, AND RAVEN ESCAPE WITH THEIR LIVES? WILL EMINEM RESPOND BACK TO THE DISS TRACK? WILL THE INDIAN GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CUPBOARD! FIND OUT NEXT TIME! SAME GAWD TIME! SAME GAWD CHANNEL!