Emmett got up off the ground and stared down at the mangled bits and pieces of what used to be a bike. "Ha! I have beaten you! Fear the power of Emmett the Conqueror of Demon Bikes!" He yelled, then gathered up the remains and crumpled them into a ball.
Our laughter from watching Emmett fall on his rear end died down, and we were all gathered into a group watching in horror.
"Emmett, I think you need to calm down." Edward said. "That bike didn't do anything to you."
"Didn't do anything? Didn't do anything? You were there when that evil, demon-possessed thing attacked me! Don't tell me it didn't do anything!" He yelled. He looked at Edward, then at the crumpled ball of metal debris in his hands, and back at Edward. He had a crazy glint in his eye.
"Don't you dare." Edward said, backing away.
Emmett threw the ball of metal at Edward. Edward ducked and the ball hit the trees behind him, leaving a trail of demolition in its path.
"You're cleaning that up." Edward said. Emmett just stuck his tongue out.
"Oh, yeah, that's real mature." Edward said, rolling his eyes.
"Emmett, do you even know how to ride a bike?" I asked.
"Um… Well, no. But it can't be that hard." He replied.
"Ha!" Jasper exclaimed. "I bet you fall off and break it just like the last one."
"I'll take that bet! But what do I get if I win?" He asked.
Alice smiled. "You get to go back to the gym."
Emmett jumped up and down in glee. "Yay, I'll be able to defeat my real nemesis. Not just posers like that ball of trash! But wait, when do you expect me to ride? I just chucked the bike at Edward."
"We got two." I replied, stepping aside. We had all formed a line in front of the other bike, hoping he wouldn't see it and go crazy on it. He narrowed his eyes and growled.
"Wait, Emmett!" Jasper said. "How do you expect to win your bet if you kill this bike? Oh, and before I forget, if I win, you have to donate all of your games to homeless people."
'What?! But – but – homeless people don't have TV's to play them on!" Emmett cried desperately.
"I know. That just adds to the irony of it." Jasper said mysteriously. Eerie music played. Thunder crashed. Alice coughed.
"Okay…" I said. "Anyway… Who wants to go first?"
"ME!" Emmett yelled. We all backed away.
"Um… Okay. Well, just get on, like before. Don't put too much pressure on the pedals… You get the idea."
"Yeah, yeah, just let me at it." He said. He walked over to it and growled. Then he poked it.
"Just get on already!" Alice said.
"Fine!" He said. He put his leg over and sat down gently. It didn't fall. He took the handles in his hands and put both his feet on the pedals. And fell down sideways.
We all cracked up.
"Yeah, laugh at the one who falls down. Just wait until your turn. We'll see who is laughing then!" He frowned and said. "What did I do wrong?"
I calmed down enough to say, "You need to keep one foot on the ground until you push off. Oh, and-"
I didn't get to finish because he took off. I frowned. Of course, I thought. Vampires don't have balance problems apparently. But then I smiled. That means I don't either!
Then Alice laughed.
"What is it?" I asked.
"You forgot to tell him how to stop."
The End... Did you like it? Yes? No? Does anyone else think the mental image of Emmett jumping with glee is weird?
This was way longer than I had intended. That's what happens when you wake up at four in the morning thinking, 'Hey, that would be a funny little one shot.' Then you type it out and it ends up being actual story length. But I got a review. My very first review. That made my day...
Peace out,
--Mojo
