The One with Christmas in the Airport

"Why did we agree to go to Clint's farm again?" Sam asked as he pushed the trolley that held his and Darcy's suitcases to the check-in desk. They were flying from John F. Kennedy Airport to O'Hare International Airport to make a connection flight for Waterloo Regional Airport. "It's Iowa."

"It's a rota system, so we are not just in the same place for every holiday," Bucky answered.

"I know that, but it's Christmas Eve. Why did we agree to go on a flight on Christmas Eve?"

"Saving the world does not give us the whole season off. Just be thankful that New Year is out ours."

"Can Christmas be at yours next year?"

"No," Pietro answered. "We have 4th July."

"Who has Thanksgiving?"

"You."

"Fancy a swap?"

"No. We all agreed to take one holiday and rotate it. That way Wanda, Laura and Pepper do not cook Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner every single year."

"Speaking of your sister, where is she?"

"Guys, slow down. I have a heavy load to carry, remember," Wanda complained as she waddled as fast as she could. She was not carrying anything in her arms, but her belly was enormous by this point.

"We did offer to give you a lift on the trolley," Pietro pointed out.

"I can still walk, I just can't do it quickly. Let's just hope check-in is not rammed." Unfortunately, Wanda's hope was dashed when she saw the large queue at the check-in desk. Who knew that so many New Yorkers used to live in Chicago. "I knew we were cut for time."

"I knew we should have drove," Pietro responded.

"A seventeen-hour drive with a toddler and a pregnant woman?"

"Point. Come on, sit down on my case before you collapse." Wanda sighed as she took a seat on Pietro's suitcase. "Where's Steve anyway?"

"Getting some magazines and trying to get Joey to sleep."

"So is Darcy," Sam commented.

"And Daisy," Pietro added.

"Well, by the sound of it, we are going to have a library with us," Bucky noted.

Fifteen minutes later, they finally got to the check-in desk, where the attendant checked their passports and checked their bags in. Since Steve, Joey, Darcy and Daisy were a few people behind they waited until they were through. Then there was security, and then they finally got to the departure lounge. Tony, Pepper, Natasha and Bruce were already there.

"Shouldn't you have been here an hour ago?" Tony asked.

"Tony, just don't," Wanda said shortly as she sat down. "And that includes any hormonal jokes." Steve gently handed her a bar of chocolate. "Thanks."

"Passengers for American Airlines Flight 2270 to O'Hare International Airport, we regret to inform you that your flight is delayed by three hours."

At that point, everyone groaned.

-o-

"Last minute Christmas shopping?" Daisy asked Pietro when she found him looking at the duty-free.

"No. I got everything. Bored. I swear being stuck in a hospital bed was less tedious than this," Pietro answered.

"Fair point. Thanks for inviting me. I would have ended up spending Christmas with Fitz and Simmons, which can be the same as being a third wheel."

"Trust me I get it. Before Bucky came home, I was sitting next to Steve sucking face with my sister."

"Yeah, I can't say that I understand that feeling."

"Not fun."

"Well, maybe now you won't feel like the third wheel."

"Nor will I feel like I am the live-in babysitter."

In the meantime, Bucky, Tony, Steve, Sam and Bruce had struck up a game of Cheat to pass the time. Wanda, Pepper, Darcy and Natasha had decided to take turns with all the magazines that Steve had bought. Joey had fallen asleep in the stroller.

"Two tens," Sam announced as he put two cards down. He looked around to see if anyone would protest.

"Three aces," Bruce said, putting his cards down.

"Cheat!" Tony objected. Steve turned the cards over, and it revealed that Bruce had put down one ace, a three and an eight. "Ha!"

"Alright, alright," Bruce muttered as he took the pile of cards.

"Hey, Steve listen to this one: apparently you are having an affair with Natasha," Wanda commented trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the article she was reading.

"I swear if I had a dollar for every time Rogers and I were having an affair, I would be a rich woman," Natasha replied.

"Well according to my magazine, Tony and I are having a marriage crisis," Pepper told. "If anyone believes it, these journalists need to consider a career change and write trashy romance novels."

"Hey, as a fan of trashy romance novels, they do have standards," Darcy retorted.

"Do you have any in your bag?" Wanda asked.

"Sure." Darcy went into her bag and pulled out three books with what looked to be stock images on the front cover. "I got a Historical Fiction, Spice or Blaze." Bucky and Steve looked at one another, confused as to what the last two were. "The last two have some really mucky stuff."

"I'll take Spice," Natasha offered. Darcy gave Natasha one of the books. "Vanilla*. Nice."

"From the sound of it, Historical Fiction has a plot. I'll take that," Wanda said.

At that point, Natasha's IPad began ringing, and she opened up to see Clint calling them. When she answered, she said, "No, we are not on a plane yet."

"Well I can see that," Clint replied. "I take it you guys are bored out of your minds."

Well, I have some hot and steamy romance to read."

"It sounds very festive," Bruce commented. Natasha flipped the IPad around so everyone else could see Clint. "How's the family?"

"Well, Laura is brining the turkey. Some recipe she found by some posh British woman."

"Sounds great," Steve replied, not sure what brining a turkey can do. "Well, we still have two and a half hours until we can board to Chicago."

"You guys have fun. I'm going to enjoy some Christmas cookies."

"Bragger," Bucky muttered.

-o-

"Does this count as the worst Christmas ever?" Darcy asked as she leaned her chin on her knees.

"Well, considering that I spent twelve Christmases on the streets…" Wanda began.

"I spent Christmas two years ago in a drunken coma," Tony added.

"Yeah, Christmas in the Red Room was full of Christmas cheer," Natasha continued.

"I spent pretty much five Christmases in the hospital as a kid," Steve contributed.

"I don't even remember the majority of my Christmases," Bucky finished.

"Huh?" Darcy noted. "Okay, turns out that I have had a very normal life."

"Is this including tasering Thor?" Bruce asked.

"We thought he was a crazy hobo." At that point, Daisy started chuckling to herself. "What?"

"You shot the God of Thunder with a taser," Daisy replied. "You have to admit that is pretty funny."

"Actually, that is pretty funny. So, best Christmases then. Mine was the year that my mother got me a bike."

"Honestly, the best Christmas I can remember was when Mum managed to get a decent sized turkey," Pietro added. "And Dad made Wanda and me some toys."

"I had a doll," Wanda remembered. "And you had a car."

"Um… best Christmas was 1984," Tony said. "Dad actually spent time with us."

"Honestly," Steve began, "This might be the best Christmas."

Natasha and Sam looked around and questioned, "Really?"

"This is really the first Christmas where we are all together. No one is in hiding; no one is fighting with one another. We may be stuck in an airport, but it could be far worse as we have all pointed out."

"Sap," Bucky commented, though he did give a small smile.

-o-

"I-Spy with my little eye, something beginning with M," Natasha began.

"Mac Cosmetic stand," Pietro answered.

"Yes."

"We need a new game," Steve muttered.

"I'm hungry," Bruce announced.

"Me too," Tony added. "There's an Asian buffet place across the lounge."

"I'm in," Sam agreed.

"Yes, food," Daisy added as everyone got up with the bags.

"Where are we going?" Wanda asked when she and Pepper came back to the group.

"Asian buffet," Steve answered, lifting three heavy suitcases in one hand.

"Show off," Sam muttered.

"Food sounds so good right now," Pepper replied.

Surprisingly, they were able to find a table that could fit all of them and the bags. Joey was propped up in a high chair while Wanda fed him some vegetables and a bit of chicken, while Steve had gone to get her some food.

"Are you even allowed sushi when pregnant?" Darcy asked.

"I think it depends on the fish," Wanda replied. "I don't even like sushi anyway."

Sam laughed, "I remember when you tried it the first time. One bite and you spat it out. I have a photo of it."

"I wasn't cheap sushi either," Natasha added.

"I think I was good with my teppanyaki," Wanda retorted. "Speaking of which... Thanks, Steve."

Steve has gotten her a bowl of ginger chicken udon and what looked to be grilled duck ramen for himself. "No problem Doll," he said pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"So, any names yet?" Darcy asked.

"Well, we know they're both girls. However, it's trying to find a combination we like."

"It's not like we have had any helpful suggestions," Wanda commented, her head turning towards Tony.

"What I suggested was perfectly sensible," Tony responded.

"Mary-Kate and Ashley were not sensible names," Pepper remarked.

"We have three months to decide a name," Steve interrupted. "We have some ideas."

"We're not doing the veto thing are we?" Daisy asked.

"No because we spent most of last week listening to them vetoing suggestions," Bucky answered.

"So what is on your list?" Bruce asked digging into his sushi.

"I have Melina, Rose, Natalia, Tiena and Sofia with an f," Wanda answered.

"Lilly, Aofie, Hannah, Adeen and Evelyn," Steve added.

"That is a lot of deciding," Daisy commented.

"Try being in the middle," Pietro commented. "I voted Tiena after our grandmother."

"And Aofie was Steve's," Wanda responded. "Maybe they could be their middle names."

"At last, a compromise," Bucky muttered.

-o-

"On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me: Six geese a-laying, Five golden rings, Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, And a partridge in a pear tree," a group of carol singers sang from across the lounge.

"At least they are halfway through," Natasha muttered.

"I'm guessing it passes the time," Sam responded. "Twelve verses, which get longer and longer."

"If the sands of time will not get rid of this song, then it's never going anywhere," Bucky added.

"Reminds me of the time Tony dated a woman who was not just obsessed with Christmas to the point she still believed in Santa," Pepper laughed.

"What?" Bruce asked eager to hear this story.

"She was a cooking teacher because I was trying to prove a point, and then around Christmas Eve she decorated the whole house like Santa's Grotto. Cue Pepper standing outside the front door with a smug smile on her face," Tony began, "and she said to me…"

"I heard this thing about nesting. Some women were meant to be magpies, and others were hummingbirds. Tony had landed himself a partridge in a pear tree," Pepper finished.

"And the Santa Claus thing?" Wanda questioned.

Pepper broke out laughing a little, at which Tony glared at her. He answered, "Come bedtime Christmas Eve, she realises that she hasn't put the cookies out for Santa. I then tell her I'll do it."

"Instead he calls me, asking if he could crash at my place because his girlfriend is clinically insane," Pepper finished. "I knew that the second she went ballistic at me for misplacing an ordainment."

"I'm just curious what point Tony was trying to prove," Steve imputed.

"Have you ever had one of his omelettes?" Pepper asked.

"Point taken."

-o-

The carolers had moved from 'Twelve Days of Christmas' to 'Good King Wenceslas' with the group taking guesses on the next carol.

"Bring me flesh and bring me wine, Bring me pine logs hither, Thou and I will see him dine When we bear him thither."

"I think it's going to be 'Holy and the Ivy'," Daisy imputed.

"Nah. Has to be 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen'," Bucky replied.

"I need to pee," Wanda announced as he pushed herself out the chair. Once she was out of the way, the game resumed.

"What about 'O Little Town of Bethlehem'?" Sam added.

"'Jingle Bells'," Darcy contributed bluntly. "It will always come down to 'Jingle Bells'."

"American Airlines Flight 2270 to O'Hare International Airport is ready for boarding."

"Finally," Pietro muttered in relief. "Let's go because they will be antsy to get going."

Despite the massive queue that had formed at the boarding desk, the group managed to get onto the plane rather quickly. First Class at least had space for them to stash everything, while Joey's stroller was checked at the gate.

"Passengers, please take your seats as the doors will be closing in one minute," the air stewardess announced over the speakers.

"Wanda, do you have Joey's bottle?" Steve asked, though when he turned to the aisle seat, his wife was not there. "Where did Wanda go?"

"Didn't she say she was going to the bathroom?" Tony asked. It then suddenly occurred to him and Steve that they had walked onto the plane without Wanda. "Hold the doors!"

After arguing with the air stewardess, Steve managed to get a hold of Wanda, and she got onto the plane as fast as she could move.

"Now that the last passengers have boarded," the air stewardess commented as she glared at and Wanda, Tony and Steve, "we can now depart. Please pay attention to the safety demonstrations."

"I gave her fifty bucks," Tony retorted.

-o-

"Well, we waited for three hours in New York, what is another hour and a half?" Steve tried to justify when they read the departures board at O'Hare International.

"My sanity," Sam answered bluntly.

"The layover would have been an hour and a half anyway," Bucky replied.

"I'm starving," Pietro complained.

"We're having ham as soon as we get to the farm," Wanda pointed out. "Here, have a candy bar."

"Why did we not bring the travel Monopoly?" Tony asked.

"Um…" Pepper began, "the thing is that you are very competitive when it comes to Monopoly. And other board games."

"Yeah, I don't think we need a repeat of the Christmas you would not speak to anyone because you accused us of cheating in Articulate," Bruce imputed.

"That was the most peaceful Christmas we ever had," Natasha commented.

"In his defence, I don't think saying he's a sponge and his name is Bob is part of the rules for Articulate," Darcy interrupted.

"Reminds me of the time May nearly decapitated us for not getting her drawing in Pictionary," Daisy added.

"Well, I have finished with my book if anyone wants to borrow," Natasha announced

With Wanda opting for the Blaze book and Natasha reading the Historical Fiction, everyone else had taken up a very apprehensive game of Charades, with the theme being Christmas songs. It was Pietro's turn at the moment.

He held up four fingers, causing Sam to shout out, "Four words."

Pietro nodded, and held up three then four fingers. This time, Bruce suggested, "Third and fourth word."

Pietro then held his right arm up while his left arm bent like he was holding something between his hip and his arm.

"Heil Hitler?" Bucky asked confused. Pietro dropped his arms and looked at Bucky like he had lost his mind. "It was not an unusual sight in Germany 1943."

"Hold on, do the pose again," Pepper ordered. Pietro resumed the position, and something clicked in Pepper's brain. "Statue of Liberty – FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK!"

"Too obvious," Tony commented.

"Okay smartass, why don't you do one?" Darcy retorted.

Tony grumbled as he got up and took Pietro's place. However, before he could even start there was an announcement:

"American Flight 79746 to Waterloo Regional (ALO) is now ready for boarding."

"Wait, is that ours?" Steve asked.

"Can't be, they said it was an hour and a half," Daisy responded.

"Hold on, was it ALO?" Natasha asked. "Because there is Waterloo Airport in Iowa and Waterloo in Ontario?"

"No. That was YKF."

"We need to go."

-o-

Two hours, a flight and three cabs later, the group finally arrived at Barton's Homestead. Clint and Cooper had come out of to help with the bags, with Clint commenting, "Good trip?"

"Shut up Barton," Natasha responded.

Inside everyone breathed a sigh of relief as they were greeted by warmth and the smell of ham. Immediately Pietro and Sam made their way to the kitchen.

"Does his stomach always guide him?" Daisy asked.

"I want to say no, however, I am carrying two kids, and I need to eat or else they are not going to sleep," Wanda answered as she moved towards the kitchen.

"I'm with her," Tony added.

Luckily, the four had not devoured the ham before Laura could serve it. Mulled wine was served as was hot cider for those who did not drink. After dinner, everyone lay the presents by the tree and prepared to go to the Nativity performance at the church. Even if only a handful believed in God, it still seemed a more excellent idea than just sitting around. It was Lila and Cooper's school Nativity with Lila playing a sheep while Cooper was one of the three kings.

"We three kings of Orient are. Bearing gifts, we traverse afar: Field and fountain, moor and mountain, Following yonder star. O Star of wonder, star of night, Star with royal beauty bright. Westward leading, still proceeding, Guide us to thy Perfect Light," the children sang as the kings walked up to the manger that contained a doll.

"We rehearsed using Nate's Barney the Dinosaur," Clint said.

"I think that could be considered blasphemy," Steve responded.

Back at the farm, everyone had one last glass of mulled wine or warm cider before retiring to bed. It was a silent night. The children managed to sleep through the night, meaning that the adults managed to sleep without worry.


The End


*Yes, that is a genuine Mills and Boon book.