March of the Witch Hunters
Chapter 3- Wickedness Must be Punished
My encounter with James—yet another disaster I can add to my generous supply. Since that fateful evening I chose to meet with the Dark Lord instead of attending my engagement party, my happiness has gradually unraveled like a ball of string.
I was so in love then, and sometimes those forgotten feelings return to torment me. They burden me more than living with some of the horrible acts I've committed, for they are a reminder of what I no longer have. That happiness doesn't belong to me anymore.
Now it belongs to Marlene McKinnon. Some best friend she turned out to be.
-Lily Evans
James Potter sat in a chair by the fire, staring into the embers with smoldering intensity. Lily was sleeping soundlessly, her forehead wet with sweat and skin ashen. He made sure she was sleeping before gathering his face in his hands and silently trembling, the sheer agony washing over him and leaving him breathless. He couldn't believe she was alive, and the fact that he was more happy than angry to see her scared him to death.
James was angry with himself more than Lily. How could he still feel this way about her? Feel utterly relieved and jubilant to know she was still alive? He was a slave to his feelings for her, and it was terrifying. The power one woman had over him—the feelings that hadn't weakened three years later.
James didn't know what to do.
He'd put on an act for Lily; after all, she was a death eater, a concept he still couldn't quite grasp, and he didn't know what kind of deception she was capable of. He couldn't show weakness until he was sure of her true intentions.
Just then, a white owl with speckled feathers flew in from one of the apartment's ajar windows and deposited a letter before his feet. Curtains flapping, James felt a chill creep in as he scooped the letter up, ripping it open. It was from Sirius.
Prongs, please tell me you're at home.
Owl me back—you've got the Order worried, and me too. If you get this you're a git, hear me?
Padfoot
James scrunched up the letter and threw it into the fire, hopelessness bobbing in the back of his throat. He couldn't be in contact with the Order or Sirius until he'd figured out what to do with Lily. He knew he didn't have long—they'd be searching for him by morning.
James heard Lily stirring and froze, contemplating his next move. He slinked into the kitchen and extracted a mug from the pantry, pouring brewed tea from the kettle into it. He then extracted another small bottle of colourless liquid from the cupboard, eyeing it reluctantly.
It was his only assurance—he had no choice but to use it.
Lily stepped out of James' room, her hair amiss and her eyes sharp, despite her sickness. She remained motionless beneath the doorframe, waiting for James to notice her.
"You're awake," James murmured, his eyes betraying worry for the first time that night. "Sit down, I've made you some tea."
"This place is a mess," Lily whispered, regarding James with less fear than before; some of her characteristic courage was returning. "Why have you let it get this decrepit?"
"I'm only here to sleep; I'm always at work," James replied curtly, trying to decipher her lighter, less feverish state. "Drink your tea."
Lily dropped into a chair by the fire, holding her head high. "I think this place needs a good clean." She didn't know what else to say to James. Their conversation was meaningless and distant, a calm before a storm of emotions.
"Suppose you're right," James replied flatly, waiting for her to take the first sip of her tea. "I'm…busy."
"Why don't you ask Marlene to help you?" Lily offered innocently, bringing the cup to her lips, then, almost as abruptly, stopping. "What's wrong? Have I said something?"
"How do you know about Marlene?" James furrowed his brow incredulously.
"Your engagement was all over the papers," Lily noted, looking away from James' forlorn face, instead focusing on the fire. She took a shaky breath. "Marlene has had a crush on you since our third year at Hogwarts. She'd always defend you when I'd go on my I-hate-Potter tangents."
"I knew she liked me," James returned softly, momentarily forgetting about the tea. "She told me in fifth year. It must've taken a lot of courage on her part. I think I might've broken her heart when I confessed to liking her best friend instead."
Lily looked up from the fire, her eyes connecting with James'—those familiar chocolate-brown eyes that were always twinkling with mischief. They weren't the same fearsome ones that had met her only hours ago; she wondered what had brought about a change in them.
"I think it nearly broke her heart when I told her of our engagement," Lily added gently, a peculiar feeling erupting within her chest. "Funny how these things come back to bite us."
"Bite us? I hardly imagined that to be your reaction," James said bitterly, his eyes swimming with emotions best left disguised. "You were the one who left, as I recall."
"James, I—" Lily started, searching for the strength to reveal the truth.
"Drink your tea," James interrupted, the anger returning to his eyes.
Lily stood up and slowly removed her housecoat, revealing her smooth shoulders and long legs, highlighted by the slip she was wearing. James went rigid, the gesture more tantalizing than Lily had anticipated. She took a seat on the floor in front of him, cupping the mug of tea in her hands.
"You want me to drink this?" Lily asked blankly.
"It will make you feel better," James returned, though Lily could sense his dishonesty.
"If you want the truth, then ask me for it," Lily snapped, smashing the cup against the wall, tea streaming down the cheap wallpaper. "I'm not stupid, James Potter, so don't bother trying to trick me into drinking Veritaserum."
"Fucking right I want the truth!" James stood up, his temper flaring; she always did have a knack for getting on his nerves. "You're going to tell me everything, do you hear me?"
"You don't have to drug me for answers!" Lily exclaimed.
"How do I know what you'll tell me is the truth?" James countered, the light from the fire reflecting on his glasses. "For Merlin's sake, you're a death eater now! Excuse me for having trust issues."
"Yes, and I was also your fiancée, as I recall!" Lily bit down on her lip, immediately regretting the statement.
"You're right. The woman I loved. Imagine my surprise when I find out she's not only betrayed the Order of the Phoenix, but me as well," James spat ruthlessly, his pent-up feelings spilling out of his mouth unchecked.
"What do you want from me, James? An apology or answers?" Lily demanded, despair slowly overcoming her again.
"I'm still trying to figure out where to begin with you," James sighed, running his fingers through his hair in an exhausted attempt to quell his anger. "I don't know what I want from you anymore."
"Let me start at the very beginning, then," Lily said softly, the realization that she was about to confess everything burning within her; she never thought she'd get the chance to tell her story, let alone to James. "It all started a week before the engagement party…"
James was rooted to his spot, desperate to know what had really transpired. He momentarily pushed his anger aside, intrigue replacing it.
"Every day for a week I received a letter in a black envelope, delivered by a horned owl I had never seen before. The letter stated the same thing every time it was sent, and was never signed…but I knew whom it was from. It said "he" had my parents and that on the night of our engagement party, he was going to kill them. I knew he had to be Voldemort. The letter also revealed that I was being watched and if I told anyone—never mind the Ministry—my parents would be slaughtered.
I tried contacting my parents, but they weren't at home. They hadn't been at work for a week. I knew Voldemort wasn't bluffing, so I kept quiet. The last letter I received was on the night of our party, and it told me to meet him in the park near my parents' home in Surrey. So I went... and I was ambushed by death eaters."
"Merlin, Lily! Why didn't you give me a sign?" James interrupted, his face contorting in a mixture of anger and sadness. "You shouldn't have gone alone, you're smarter than that. You could have been killed."
"They had my parents—I didn't have a choice!" Lily cried. "I couldn't leave them to die! I couldn't take the chance—not going and having their blood on my hands."
James sank back into his chair, burying his face in his hands. "What happened next?"
"I don't remember exactly what happened that night, it's blurry, but I was knocked out, and when I woke up, I was gagged and in a cell," Lily continued, the memories making her feel anxious. "I was in that cell for days and days; I'd lost count by the time the Dark Lord finally confronted me."
"Did he have your parents?" James asked, his heart dropping when he saw the answer written across her face.
"He released them after my capture, and completely wiped their memories of the abduction," Lily replied, her eyes growing hollow. "He didn't kill them because my parents were still of use. They'd always be the Dark Lord's leverage over me. I was under Voldemort's control until they died a year ago."
"But why you, Lily? What did he want from you?" James whispered, almost dreading the answer. "We both know Voldemort despises muggleborns and half-bloods. And he certainly doesn't keep Order members as prisoners—not when he can execute them in some disgusting and public way."
"He knew of my skill in Charms…he also liked the thought of causing pain to you," Lily murmured, tears suddenly welling up in her eyes. "After all those times you and I had thwarted him, along with the other, he wanted revenge. You saw the headlines, "Celebrated Auror James Potter's Fiancée, Lily Evans, Missing: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Suspected." He took great pleasure in it."
James' face went blank as he slumped in his chair. Painful, heart-wrenching remembrances washed over him like a tsunami, leaving him feeling disoriented and at a loss. Lily had been gone three years because of him? The most moral woman James had ever met was a death eater because of him?
"Lily," James implored, hiding his face in his hands before roughly running them through his hair. "This is my fault."
"James Potter, don't you think like that!" Lily Evans shouted furiously, dropping down to her knees before James and gently easing his hands away from his face. He looked at her dejectedly, devastation reflected in his eyes. "This was my choice, and I knew it would be the end of my life, but I've accepted my fate."
"It should be our fate, Lily," James brushed her cheek with the jut of his knuckles, still wondering if she was real, and not a figment of his tormented mind. "We'd be together now if it wasn't for him."
"We shouldn't dwell on the past," Lily tried to sooth him, though tears were falling down her cheeks. "What's done is done, and we can't change it."
"What do you mean, wecan't change it?" James suddenly rose from his seat, bewildered and unhinged. "Everything will change now. You're back, safe with me again. I know the truth now."
"Don't you see, James?" Lily said gently, turning her back to him and drifting near the open window. "Things can never be the same again."
"Yes they will," James returned stubbornly, his voice darkening. "We belong together, Lily."
"You have Marlene now—"
"And you don't think I'd drop her in a second for you?" James demanded wildly, walking towards the window and turning her to face him. "Tell me now…do you still love me?"
Lily paused, shivers travelling up and down her arms. "I…"
James and Lily's attention immediately wavered, the handle on the front door of the apartment squeakily turning counter clockwise. Whoever was behind the door was trying to inconspicuously make their way inside.
Without delay, James ushered Lily into the kitchen, inclining her to take out her wand. Their Auror instincts kicked in as they stealthily looked around the corner, preparing to confront whoever was trying to get inside.
"Sirius?" Lily suggested in James' ear, her body shielded behind his.
"When have you ever known Sirius to use a front door?" James whispered back, gripping his wand, ready to attack.
The door clicked open.
"Merlin."
James grabbed Lily's arm before she could apparate and pushed her into the kitchen pantry, locking himself inside with her. His hand covered her mouth, smothering her protests. Trapped against James' body, Lily could hear his heart beating rapidly.
"James?" Marlene McKinnon called out, closing the apartment door behind her. "James? Are you here?"
Marlene crept into the kitchen, her wand gripped in her right hand. Lily heard her walk around the kitchen table, then stop. A shadow obscured the light pouring into the pantry from the crevice between the door and the floor. Lily and James froze, both praying she didn't open the pantry and find them; the consequences would be devastating.
"James?" Marlene called out for a final time, a tinge of hopelessness in her voice.
Marlene left the kitchen, deciding to check the bedrooms and the living room. Five minutes later, Lily and James heard a pop echo in the front hall, signaling her apparition.
"That was close," James whispered, removing his hand from Lily's mouth. "I don't know why she broke in. I gave her a key."
"Isn't that romantic?" Lily snapped, jealousy surging despite her attempt to mask it. "Now, if you'll let me out of this closet, I think I'll be on my way."
"You didn't answer my last question," James insisted, though he unlocked the pantry and let Lily stomp out.
"I don't think—!" Lily started, her eyes widening in shock as she suddenly fell to the floor in a heap, ropes magically appearing and binding her legs, arms and mouth.
"What?" James asked in annoyance, brushing dust off his shirt as he too exited the pantry. "Li…Marlene?"
Marlene stood over Lily, her wand pointed at her squirming figure. Sweat beaded on her forehead, her cobalt eyes disbelieving of the girl before her.
"James, please tell me this isn't—it's not possible—Lily?" Marlene whimpered, staring down at the red head, who did not regard her with as much fascination. "James, what are you doing with her?"
"Marlene, I'm sorry," James spoke sincerely, his features dark as he unpocketed his wand and pointed it at the unsuspecting woman. "Obliviate."
Marlene's eyes rolled to the back of her head, causing her to lose her balance and fall into James' arms. He swiftly carried her into his bedroom, where he laid her to sleep. James reentered the kitchen—Lily still attempting to free herself—and loosened her bonds. He looked distressed as he removed the piece of rope preventing Lily from talking.
"I thought she apparated!" Lily yelped, stumbling to her feet with James' assistance.
"I underestimated her. I do that often," James mumbled, upset. "I really don't deserve her."
"Why would you say that?" Lily whispered, the comment stinging.
"Since you disappeared…I don't know. I'm short with her, I've no patience…I'm hardly a supportive fiancé," James divulged, crossing his arms tiredly. "I'm unfair to her. I resent her for not being you, and I know it's horrible, but I can't—"
"Then why did you propose?" Lily interrupted him, fighting back tears again. She hated thinking of them together.
"Three years, Lily…I've been alone a long time," James murmured, his genuine eyes engaging Lily's. "But now that you've returned, we can get our lives back."
Lily turned her back to James, the words prickling the back of her neck like icicles. James didn't understand. Things could never be what they were—she'd dug herself a deep grave and now she'd have to die in it. How could the people who trusted her, like Dumbledore and Sirius and Remus, accept her after all the cruel acts she'd committed for Voldemort? She could barely accept herself.
Besides, Voldemort would kill her if she betrayed him.
"I've got to go, James. The Dark Lord will be furious with my absence," Lily began, taking a deep breath, making her decision. "I don't know how I'm going to explain myself out of this one, but—"
James whirled around, his face warped in horrified incredulity, and swiftly pinned Lily against the wall. Lily yelped in outrage, feeling meek beneath his muscled body. She braced herself stubbornly, ready to fight him off.
"You can't be serious," James hissed, his eyes swimming with desperation. "Please tell me you're not going back there."
"He'll kill me, James," Lily whispered, her voice faltering a little. "You don't know what he's like…I'll be dead by morning."
"I'll protect you," James maintained, his mannerisms oozing masculinity. "We'll go to the Order, to Dumbledore—"
"They'll think I'm a spy, James," Lily returned, thinking of how disgusted the Order would be with her. "I'm a traitor. I deserve to be in Azkaban!"
"Don't talk like that!" James demanded, working himself into a frenzy, grief settling in his stomach. "I won't lose you again!"
"I'm putting you in danger by being here," Lily protested, drying her tears and resolutely escaping James' grasp. "Tell no one we've been in contact, forget I'm alive."
Lily crossed the room, James following in her wake, and readied herself for apparition. It was too painful being with James; the longer she was there, the more enticed she'd be to take up James' offer of happiness. Silence devoured the room.
"I know you're alive now, Lily," James beseeched, though he made no inclination to stop her. "Go now, but know I'll stop at nothing to bring you back to me."
"Don't say that," Lily begged, her eyes pleading and her tone barely audible. "I am a danger to you. All that I love will die if I don't try to forget. I don't want to watch you suffer, James."
"Lily, please—"
"No! This is my life now," Lily screamed, teetering on the edge. "Just…forget."
James reached out to touch Lily's shoulder as she turned away from him, but before he could, she was gone. He felt sick at the thought of her being in the presence of Voldemort, at the thought of her being punished for being gone so long and performing unspeakable acts under his rule.
The only thing that kept him from losing it was his promise. He was going to save her this time.
"This is not goodbye," James whispered to himself, grief-stricken.
Lily collapsed in front of a tiny house nestled in a dirty alleyway. Tears poured from the corners of her eyes as she struggled to take a breath, inhaling the grimy fog that hung in the air. She couldn't think straight, never mind fathom how she was going to face Voldemort. Fear and misery wrapped around her body like a wet blanket, and she couldn't even muster the strength to knock on the house's front door—but she didn't have to.
"I was wondering when you'd show up," Snape opened the door mere seconds later, coolly regarding Lily as he helped her to her feet and ushered her into his dimly-lit townhouse.
Snape set Lily down on one of his mouth-bitten couches and conjured up a glass of warm brandy from his liquor cabinet. Pushing the glass into Lily's shaky hands, he provoked her to drink, trying to sooth her nerves. He watched with mild interest as she pathetically tried to choke back the strong liquor, and eventually fetched a thin blanket to warm her shoulders.
"Severus, I-I-I—"
"You've had an encounter with Potter?" Snape spoke softly, though his voice took on a hint of menace when he spoke the messy-haired boy's name. "Has he harmed you?"
"He would never, he—"
"Has he told anyone you're alive?"
"No, I-I think he will keep quiet, I don't—"
"Then we have nothing to worry about yet," Snape cut in, his black eyes fixated on her. "Did anyone else see you?"
"Marlene," Lily whimpered, downing the remaining contents of her glass. "But James wiped her memory."
"Then let us be thankful Potter is still foolishly in love with you," Snape interjected, showing Lily no sympathy where James was involved—he had a feeling the topic would one day be breached. "We will tell the Dark Lord you've had a run-in with McKinnon and that you wiped her memory."
"Do you think he'll sense I'm lying?" Lily asked worriedly, unsure of her ability to lie at present time.
"For your sake, I hope not," Snape frowned. Though his mouth was usually curved in an unnatural snarl, he rarely showed her such hostility. "We've practiced Occlumency; now would be an opportune time to use such a skill."
"Severus, I'm scared," Lily disclosed, her eyes revealing her true trepidation. "If it weren't for you, I'd—"
"Quickly, you must seek out the Dark Lord," Snape disrupted, always ready to reject Lily's attempts at affection and gratitude—he couldn't let her weaken him. "As the hours dwindle so does your story. Dry your tears."
"Alright," Lily whispered, dreading her next move. "I…thank you."
"Go, quickly," Snape nodded, his eyes betraying more than his actions and words.
Lily exited Snape's house, apparating out of Spinner's End to face Voldemort at death eater headquarters. Snape promptly downed his brandy and watched her disappear from his blotchy window.
He hated that she still loved James Potter.
