I must admit that I do not own anything involving Transformers or Monty Python.
Training Video
A large group of Eradicons stood in one the Nemesis' training rooms. A few leaned against the walls, waiting for their 'instructor' to come. After Megatron had been awoken from his coma, he'd been displeased with the number of foot soldiers lost during his Second in Command's reign. Not that he really cared about them of course, he just realized that there was no sense in wasting a resource. So the Decepticon leader had decided that some measures should be taken to make the Eradicons better at not getting killed. Not wanting to spend all of his time thinking up a new training regimen, he decided that his head officers would put together different parts of the new training plan. These head officers included Knockout. There was a good chance that if Megatron had known of Knockout's previous 'incident' in commanding troops, he would not have included him in the process. However, none of the lower officers had the courage to tell him, and Starscream was not in the mood to be giving any sort of helpful advice to their leader. None of the Eradicons were thrilled about it either, but they had to follow orders. The door opened with a quiet whoosh and the troops all straightened as the medic swaggered into the training area.
"Take it easy boys. We aren't going to be doing anything too strenuous today, just watching a little presentation." Knockout clicked a remote held in his delicate servos. A large screen at the front of the room buzzed in static and then lit up. As the troops turned their attention to it the screen presented a picture of a rocky arid landscape. Knockout smooth voice sounded through the speakers.
"In this scene, there are ten Eradicons. None of which can be seen, and thus none of which can be shot. In this video, we hope to show you how not to get shot."
The picture changed slightly, still the same kind of landscape but now in a different location with only two outcroppings.
"This is Eradicon 46A-519. He cannot be shot. Now I'm going to ask him to reveal himself. 46A-519, will you come out please?"
A Eradicon emerged from behind one of the rock cliffs, one that almost seemed to small for him to hide behind. In the very corner of the video screen, Breakdown's cannon came into view. A moment later a loud blast filled the screen, and the Eradicon vanished completely.
"This demonstrates the value of not being seen."
The scenery changed to a forest environment, at the center of the scene was a very large tree.
"In this scene there is Eradicon 13R-842. 13R-842, will you reveal yourself please?" Nothing happened for a few moments. "13R-842 has learned the first lesson of not getting shot, that is, not to reveal yourself. However, I am very good at hide and seek, and he has chosen a rather obvious hiding spot." Suddenly the tree exploded in a ball of flaming plasma.
The scene changed again this time there were three large rocks dominating a mountain scene.
"Eradicon 93Q-792 has given us a bit of a puzzle. We don't know which boulder he might be hiding behind. But we can soon find out." The left boulder exploded, showering the the camera with rock fragments. Then the right exploded. When the middle followed suit, there was a loud electronic screech.
"That's right. It was the middle one."
The next scene was of an abandoned suburban neighborhood.
"Eradicon 246-O1 has hidden himself very well, and could be in a dozen different places. He could be hiding behind the one of the houses, behind a garden shed, or behind a fence. However, I just happen to know that he is behind the first house." The house promptly exploded. The scene shifted once again, this time it was just outside of an energon mine where two Eradicons could be seen lounging near some mining equipment.
"Upon hearing of my desire to talk to them about this video, these two Eradicons immediately volunteered to come on this energon mining expedition. They did not inform me of this, but a colleague of theirs told me where they were." An explosion erupted around the two Eradicons and they vanished. Somehow the equipment remained undamaged from the close explosion. The screen switched to an image of a lone Eradicon standing on a cliff.
"And this is the colleague that told me where they had gone." A large BOOM sounded and a bright light filled the screen, when things died down the con was gone. The image changed to a view of a door on the Nemesis.
"And this is where he lived." The door exploded outward.
Breakdown's laughing could be heard in the background as the scene shifted one last time, this time to Knockout himself.
"Thank you all for watching. I hope you've learned the value of not being seen and not being shot."
The screen went dark. None of the Eradicons seemed to know how to react to the video. Some were still staring at the screen in horror, others were looking at each other in confusion, some were trying to laugh it off and failing, but all seemed somewhat disturbed.
"Well boys, thanks for giving it all your attention. I'd best be off." Knockout started to leave.
"Sir, wait." One Eradicon called out. The medic halted and turned toward him. "That, wasn't real was it? I mean, those weren't actual Cons, they were just holograms or something...right?" The group waited nervously for an answer. A smug smile spread across the medic's face plate.
"You know, I almost forgot to mention something. I've had it arranged with Megatron that anyone who doesn't improve significantly over the course of the training will be automatically volunteered for my next video. Anyway, just thought you might like to keep that in mind. Good luck with the rest of the training." He casually walked out, taking quite a lot of enjoyment out of the look of horror that had passed across each Eradicons face as he spoke. He had the feeling that they would all try a lot harder from now on.
Yes! I finally got around to finishing this chapter! May not be one of the best so far, but I had fun writing it and I hope you had fun reading it. :)
This chapter was based off of the sketch "How not to be seen"
BTW, did anyone catch the small Les Mis reference in this chapter?
