CHAPTER 3

It had been a strange introduction to incest and Damon closed his eyes as he felt confusion and elation battle each other out for dominance in his mind. He sat up slowly, staring after Stefan and chewed his lip. Katherine said she loved him, she wanted to be with him and turn him so he could be with her forever. She said she wanted Stefan too. She said Stefan loved him in a sexual way and now Damon had no doubt left in his mind that it was true. Stefan had practically declared himself body and soul to him the previous night and now this chaste kiss... What the hell was happening? How did a secret, exciting love affair with Katherine turn into an incestuous, homoerotic free for all? He shook his head as though he were having the conversation out loud. Stefan was still a boy, barely a man. He obviously didn't understand what he was feeling. He couldn't feel that way really, not towards another man. He had heard of this kind of thing happening - whispers of dalliances between men who were ill in the head. He didn't want to think of Stefan like that.

Stefan was so pure and innocent, he couldn't be mad. Katherine must have done something to him. He had no idea how to feel about that. His love for her consumed his every thought and he couldn't believe she would damage Stefan like this. He got up slowly, brushing himself off and returning to the stable. His mare was unhappy with his abandonment earlier and refused to heed his instructions, snorting loudly. He sighed to himself, feeling like a double failure today as he finished brushing her down and heading back into the house for dinner.

Dinner was terse at best and Damon thanked the gods that their father was absent as he would have demanded to know what was making both he and Stefan so sullen. Stefan didn't look at him for the entire duration and it made him twitchy. Katherine was charming as always and made particular effort to engage Stefan in conversation. Damon began to feel like a third wheel and he excused himself early to leave them chatting. He felt angry, jealous and hurt all at the same time and he didn't know what to do about it. He headed back up to his room and opened his secret supply of bourbon. He had been sneaking bottles in under his fathers' nose lately, enjoying the disobedience but right now what he sought was an escape from his mind constantly churning over unwelcome thoughts. Stefan had seemed so upset all through dinner. He'd never seen him that way before. The servants had believed him to be ailing and had fussed around him relentlessly, making Stefan grumpy and flustered at the attention.

Damon sat down by his window and looked out at the moon while he sipped his bourbon. He had wanted to ask his father's permission to ask for Katherine's hand before everything with Stefan had started and now he didn't know whether he should. He wanted her desperately but how could they function like this? He sat gazing at the moon as though it was crystal ball suspended in the sky, until he heard a knock on his door.

"Come in." He said, nervously hiding his glass and pushing the bottle of bourbon under his bed stealthily. Stefan entered pale and sweating as he wrung his hat through his hands nervously. For some reason Damon felt the need to stand up in greeting, perhaps it was just from raw adrenaline.

"Damon." His voice was so small and innocent. "Can I speak with you?" The frailty in his voice couldn't be easily ignored. Stefan looked as though he were in agony, dishevelled and lost as the light from the hallway cast him into silhouette. Damon nodded and Stefan closed the door behind him.

"I'm sorry about what happened, please forgive me." He was so emotional. Was he taking it all back? Damon frowned and waited for an explanation but Stefan merely stared at him in hope of understanding.

"It wasn't your fault. Katherine has ways of making people agreeable."

"No, it wasn't her fault. She has been such a comfort, helping me with this, please don't blame her." He seemed to be hyperventilating and Damon felt himself tense, wanting to go to him and hug him.

"How has she been helping you? By taking your virtue?" Damon felt himself grow jealous and angry at both of them suddenly – Katherine for not being satisfied by his love and for taking Stefan's innocence and Stefan for allowing her when he knew how much Damon felt for Katherine. Stefan closed his mouth and gulped as though he would vomit, his face paling as he looked at the ground.

"She's been trying to cure me." He whispered.

"What?" Stefan looked away from him and took a deep breath.

"Cure me of my thoughts about you." Stefan cringed waiting for Damon to show disgust and revulsion. Damon watched his face crumble as he spoke and he couldn't maintain the anger anymore. Stefan was hurting. They had always been so close since their mother had died. How could he stand by and be part of Stefan's suffering?

"Stefan, maybe there is a doctor who can help." Damon offered but Stefan looked at him fearfully.

"Please just say you forgive me for touching you. I couldn't help it." He stepped forward. "I couldn't bear it if you hated me brother." He gave a silent sob and Damon's heart broke. He opened his arms as he had done a thousand times before and Stefan rushed towards him, almost winding him as he crushed his arms around him, curling into him.

"I could never hate you Stefan." He hushed him as Stefan shook in his arms. He gave him a squeeze and then released him and Stefan stepped back giving him a watery smile. Damon returned it and Stefan nodded. Katherine said she would leave if she couldn't have them both. Damon would have to convince her that nothing would ever happen between he and Stefan. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't bear the thought of losing her though and so he would have to allow her to see Stefan if she wanted too. He would rather that he monitor what was going on, on Stefan's behalf, than be in the dark. Stefan smiled again and left him to return to his bourbon. Damon returned to gazing at the moon for a little while, feeling much more relaxed than he had been. He wasn't sure how long he had remained there serenely when he heard unmistakeable sounds coming from Katherine's room down the hall. His heart jumped into his mouth and he approached the door listening to make sure if what he feared was actually true. It didn't take long for him to realise that indeed, Katherine and Stefan were having sex. He gripped his chest and laid his head against the cold wood of the door, feeling as though he could vomit. How could she flaunt this, knowing that he would be able to hear them? He opened his door in a rage and began walking towards her door, when he heard Stefan making climaxing sounds and calling his name. He stopped dead in his tracks as he listened again.

"Damon…" Stefan whispered in rapture and Damon felt his legs weaken beneath him to the extent where he had to hold the wall for support as he hurried back into his room. He panted feeling trapped and frightened as he brought the bourbon out from under the bed and took a swig of it to calm himself. He lay in his bed curled into himself, listening as Stefan eventually retired for the evening and passed his door on the way back to his chamber. Damon buried his face in his pillow tormented and fell into an uncomfortable sleep. His dreams were wrought with uncertainty and fear.

He was being chased through the woods on his mare and she kept taking him the wrong way, leading him back into danger no matter how hard he pushed her and gave her instructions. She ran on and fell into a river that pulled at her feet like quicksand and he had to jump from her back and pull himself along the bank back to safety. He stood up shakily and turned around in fear when he felt someone appear behind him. He drew out one of his father's pistols, ready for attack when he saw Stefan standing before him. Without thinking he shot the pistol by accident and Stefan screamed and fell to the ground.

"Stefan!" He shouted frantically and ran to him, lifting him into his lap and opening his shirt to see the wound. Stefan cried tears as Damon pressed his hand over the wound and tried to stop the bleeding.

"Don't hurt me Damon." Stefan beseeched and Damon kissed his forehead, holding him tightly as he looked around searching for his mare. He had to save Stefan! Stefan calmed under his touch and leaned upwards and kissed Damon's lips, catching Damon off guard. Damon pulled back and Stefan cried out in pain again as more blood spilled from under Damon's hands. Damon blinked confused and cupped Stefan's face in fear that Stefan was dying. Stefan looked up at him pleadingly.

"Please let me touch you?" Stefan begged trying to pull Damon down for another kiss as his blood seeped into Damon's clothes.

"Stefan!" Damon gasped in fear, holding Stefan firmer and frantically removing his own shirt and tearing it into a strip long enough to tie over Stefan's stomach wound. Stefan melted in his arms but watched him steadily as Damon bound him across his middle. Once he was finished Stefan suddenly pushed Damon off of him, grinning widely, despite the blood leaking from him. Damon fell onto his back with a huff and Stefan lay on top of him kissing him. Damon tried to fight him off but as Stefan's tongue searched his mouth and caressed him, Damon felt his resistance slip away. Stefan gently ran his fingers up and over Damon crotch and Damon gasped. Stefan unbuttoned his trousers and slipped his hand inside, beginning to tease Damon's shaft as Damon tilted into him. All Damon's worries over Stefan's wounds disappeared as Stefan quickened in his pumping movements and kissed him until he felt himself sink into the earth beneath him.

"I want you." Stefan grinned and Damon panted in fear as Stefan took control of his body, spreading his legs wide. When had he become naked? When had they both become naked? Damon tried to sit up to clear his head but Stefan pulled his legs up around his waist and pushed into Damon heatedly. Damon's whole body shook and he fell backwards moaning. This has to be a dream, this has to be a dream! Stefan's touches set his skin on fire and he gave in, letting Stefan consume him, rocking into him and making him beg for more as his mare stood on in the background calling out for him in fear.

Damon awoke with a start, sweating and aroused. He reached down and was repelled to realise that he had ejaculated in his sheets. He got up horrified and moved over to his washing basin, scrubbing himself down until his skin was pink. He leaned against the dresser and regulated his breathing as he pondered over the dream. It wasn't natural. What did it all mean – his mare, the fear and then shooting Stefan…? He shivered and dressed again as he caught a glimpse of the sun rising from his window. He shook himself off and decided to go out for a ride to chase away the effects of the dream before having to face Stefan at breakfast, but his plans were short lived when Stefan bumped right into him in the hallway, making him turn crimson.

"Morning." Stefan gave a short chuckle and Damon gave him a tight lipped smile in response as he tried not to visualise how Stefan had hovered over him, thrusting into him in the dream. A hint of confusion flickered across Stefan's face at Damon's blushing and Damon slapped him on the shoulder, before moving around him and descending the stairs. Breakfast was normal as Stefan chatted much brighter than the previous day, but Damon couldn't help but feel strange. He couldn't erase the dream from his mind and caught himself staring at Stefan on a few occasions remembering the vivid details. What the hell had brought on a dream like that? Katherine picked up on Damon's gazes a few times and raised her eyebrows at him. He was so glad when they were finished. He would take his mare out for a ride and clear his head as he had planned.

"Damon, can I ride with you today? There's still so much of your land I haven't seen." She smiled sweetly and he felt his spirit raised a little. He had thought that her affections were waning on account of her exclusion of him in the carnal activities last night. They rode for a while at a leisurely pace, his mare seemingly in a more forgiving mood that yesterday.

"Let's stop here for a while." Katherine shouted to him as they approached the stream and Damon's stomach churned uncomfortably. This was the set from his dream and it gave him a shiver that she would want to stop here. He begrudgingly dismounted and let his mare graze as he joined Katherine sitting on the ground.

"You heard us last night I presume?" She asked and he clenched his jaw. She nodded in understanding and took his hands in hers.

"How could you do that when you knew I could hear?" He asked, feeling his chest constrict. "Are you trying to punish me?" He could tell from her expression that she was hurt by his assumption and she held his hands tighter.

"Of course not. I love you."

"Then why?" He asked and she ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and kissed her back as she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

"I did it for Stefan. He's hurting and he needs to release. Based on your attentions on him this morning I'm guessing you heard his declarations of love for you when he was inside of me." Damon tilted his chin to the ground and gulped, trying not to replay in his mind Stefan's whispers of his name as he climaxed.

"I can't stand by and let him suffer."

"Are you blaming me for his pain?" Damon frowned and she shook her head sympathetically.

"You could easily take it away though. If you just allow yourself to join us, to accept everything we want you to have. It's the only way to help him." She hypnotized and he directed his gaze towards the river as he struggled not to envision his dream again.

"I can't." He sighed feeling emotionally drained and she turned his face back towards her and cupped his cheeks.

"I can help you."

"You said you'd never…" He spluttered in fear and she put her finger over his lips to silence him.

"No compulsion. That doesn't mean that I can't help keep you relaxed. Once you relax you will enjoy it, I promise you. All of the fear you are feeling has been drilled into you by others. There's no need for it. You were afraid of me in the beginning and now look at how much you enjoy it when I feed from you. You could have everything Damon and Stefan would become a man under your guidance. He would be happy and cared for." She reasoned as he listened. He didn't know what to say in defence of himself and she smiled knowing that he was beginning to understand her logic. She pushed him gently onto his back and unbuttoned his trousers as he relaxed and closed his eyes. She pulled his member out and pumped him as he sighed in pleasure. Once he was hard she lifted her skirts and sat down on him. She was absent of underwear and he opened his eyes as she slid herself onto him with ease. He moaned at her heat and she placed her hands on his chest, stroking him as she moved. She was particularly good and angling her hips just I a way that made him crazy and he began to pant quickly as she worked him as she whispered down at him of all the things that Stefan could do for him. His dream came back to him again and he felt himself become more and more aroused as he reached his peak. He opened his eyes as he was climaxing and had to blink as he thought he would see Stefan staring down at him. He blinked again and she began to climax too. She stayed on him for a few minutes as they both caught their breath again and emptied him of his seed.

"I'll try it." He sighed and she beamed at him. She leaned down and kissed him fully before standing back up and straightening her skirts as he sat up lightheaded. She continued to smile widely and excitedly at him all through the ride back to the house and he smiled back a little less confidently. His stomach fluttered nervously as she dragged him up the stairs to Stefan's door and chapped. He took in a deep breath and held it as Stefan opened his door and looked to him.