Lacey woke up Thursday morning determined to confront Danny. it was all she could think about - getting his story so she could know once and for all what happened. So she could breathe again. She knew it wouldn't be easy to ask him about that day and she was nervous. She texted Danny during homeroom, asking him to meet her outside the school library at lunchtime. She thought about trying to talk to him in a more private area but something about meeting with him alone, away from people, made her palms start sweating. As it was, standing there outside the library, dressed in a brick-colored miniskirt and boots, she felt hot even though it was crisp cool autumn day
She steeled herself as the last of the lingering students went inside for lunch and she saw Danny walk out. She took a step towards him, mot sure how to begin.
"Last time you texted me for a secret meeting, things got a little intense" he said with a grin. Lacey immediately regretted letting him talk first and already try to derail the conversation. Why did he have to keep bringing that up? That kiss was a mistake. A tremendous mistake. Lacey had no idea what primal part of her brain was insane enough to kiss Danny Desai in the dark of night after fall fest the previous week. She knew right away it was wrong, and she had Archie, and she had no idea still what sort of evil deeds Danny was capable of. Yet… and yet, she kissed him a second time when he pulled her back, and as she responded she felt herself silently observing the situation like it was someone else, not her, locking lips with a possible serial killer. A really hot possible serial killer. Stop that Lacey, she told herself.
"Danny" she began. "We need to talk."
"Yeah, I agree" he replied.
Lacey realized he meant to talk about that kiss. No way, no how.
She shook her head "Not about that. Its about 5 years ago." She nervously adjusted her grip on her bookbag.
"The 2008 election of Barack Obama? It was historic, Lace, but what else is left to say?' he quipped.
Lacey was not going to let him get away with deflecting her question with humor. "You know what I mean" she said, looking him in the eye. "I want to discuss that day, what happened with Terra."
"Now? Right here?" Danny, asked looking around, an edge to his voice. His body language had shifted subtly. "Right here at school? Why now?" his tone was harsher.
"Why not now?" questioned Lacey.
"God Lacey, I can't take all these mixed signals. You stand up for me to Archie, and then you avoid me. You kiss me and then you say you can't do it again. You text me for some secret meeting and then you ask me weird questions about my aunt?" His eyes were dark, glittering. He was gazing at her so intently she was afraid to look away.
Oh god, oh god oh god, don't go there - Lacey thought. Its not fair of him to bring this up. She defended him to Archie because it was the right thing to do. She avoids him because its really hard to be around him, both for her social status (how would it look?) and truth be told, she was a little scared to be around him. In the back of her mind she knew that it was a comingling of justifiable fear and an element of forbidden desire (the kiss… butterflies… longing… passion… deep within). But it was a survival tactic for her to refuse to allow such a thought to manifest from its jumble of inner musings to actual words (words that might tell her she that she was perhaps secretly attracted to this dark haired, dark-souled boy).
All she could think to fire back was "Its not a weird question." It was an unexpected question certainly - in the middle of the afternoon, standing outside the school library. And he was probably right - not really the place for it. But not weird. It was legitimate. She legitimately had the right to know what happened. And why. And how could he? And how could she? Ever trust him again?
"Lacey, that kiss" began Danny, ignoring her. "Its all I think about. All day. Every day." His face was tense. And beautiful. "Don't you think about it too?'" His eyes didn't leave her's. He was standing too close. There was something in his voice that was calm but yet not calm; he was evidently controlling himself… but the air around them was filled with tension.
Lacey, eyes wide, was frozen to the spot. It was both intense and scary and kind of romantic, but not appropriate. She had Archie… and Danny was in no way right for her… and please don't make her think about him like that. "Danny, I…" she looked away with a slight shake of her head.
"You don't feel the same way" Danny nodded his head as if he understood. But then he drew closer to her. Too close. And added "You and I both know that is not true."
Lacey was riveted. She couldn't look away; her mouth had gone completely dry. She did think about that kiss, she did. How could he know that? How could he know what she wouldn't even admit to herself? That maybe she was a little bit into him. She couldn't tell if he was genuinely into her. Was he? Or was this a ploy to change the topic? Or was he just trying to get close to her so he could use her to scale the walls of social popularity? Yeah, just date Lacey Porter and you too can be one of the in-crowd. She had no idea if she could trust him, and there were too many thoughts and questions and emotions fighting each other in her brain for even one of them to emerge with any sort of coherence.
Danny was still holding her gaze, waiting for a response, and for one tiny moment (a nanosecond really) she almost wondered if she should quell all the doubts and the logic and the questions… free herself to simply say "yes". Instead, she lowered her eyelids and brushed past him as she walked rapidly towards the library doors.
