Chapter 3
The days following my conversation with my father, were filled with bustling servants trying to prepare our home for the Blakes. I let myself have a good cry with May holding me because I wanted to appear like nothing had bothered me. I collected myself in time for the Blakes to arrive a week later. The minute Brian set foot into our home, everyone was very taken with him. Kara swooned and blushed madly whenever Brian directed his attention towards her. My mother was delighted to have him because all her friends were envious that such a well-mannered and handsome man was considering marrying into the family. Brian was tall, had hair the color of the sun, and he had a muscular built. Every woman that saw him fell in love. I saw our female servants argue fervently about who was lucky enough to serve his food and ask him if he needed more.
As for myself, I admit it was easy to look at him and hold his green eyed gaze, but I found him incredibly dull. He only spoke of himself and how many times he had gone to England and visited royalty. Brian also enjoyed boasting of the many donations he was able to give to those in need because his business was booming. I would admire this quality if it wasn't so obvious he only does so to improve his reputation.
However, I kept my word to my father and pretended to be thoroughly interested in every word Brian said. What made my encounters with Brian tolerable, was that joined us and Fernando always followed him. Whenever Brian and the other men decided to speak about politics or business, they would ignore me because they believed my ears and mind were too delicate for me to understand. During these moments I spoke with Fernando and I had never felt happier. I had to remind myself not to appear excited when I was around Fernando. It would have become a scandal that could cost my family their reputation and any marriage plans with Brian. The only one I could talk to about my true feelings was May.
"It is all just so irritating May! I am looking forward to our last dinner tomorrow with the Blakes. I know I should be more concerned because of the marriage proposition, but I do not want to spend another waking moment with Brian." I exclaimed as May helped me into my night gown.
May quickly found out about what my father said because she was the one that comforted me when I couldn't stop crying. She was very upset with Father but she didn't say why. I didn't expect her to be upset at all because marrying me off was very important. It was something every woman was interested in and busied with once she turned sixteen. I thought May would lecture me that it was what I was supposed to be doing, but she was more interested in the fact that father gave me a time limit to leave.
"Mija, I wish I was able to take you into my home. My familia would adore you. My children already do from the few times you have seen them. You would not have to worry about being rushed to leave."
"That means the world to me May. Honestly, this is tiring and I really am working hard to impress Brian but it would be a lie if I said I would mind one last summer just being Susannah Simon." May brushed my hair, letting the quiet surround us for a few moments.
"How is Fernando?" May knew I grew fond of Fernando and it was embarrassing.
"He is wonderful. He is the only reason I'm sad to see the Blakes leave."
"Mija porfavor be careful. I know who he is. He knows how to make women fall in love with him so he could do what he wants with them." She looked sternly at me but I could still see the worry behind her eyes.
"May I would hardly call my feelings for him, love. It is just a friendship. I do not think you are giving him a chance. He's a good man. He just has his days." I absentmindedly braided my hair as I thought of Fernando. A smile escaped my lips and May caught it.
"Susannah, if you had a choice between Brian and Fernando, I would tell you and plead with you to marry Brian."
"If I had a choice…." I sighed. I fixed my bed to get ready to sleep and sat on the edge.
"Am I a bad daughter May?" I could feel the tears swell in my eyes. May sat next to me and held me in her arms.
"Mija I am unbelievably proud of you. I love you as if you were my daughter. I still remember the first time I met you. You were so small. Only three years old when I held you for the first time. Susannah, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. You want to see the world and find amor on your own terms. There is nothing wrong with that. I am just sorry the world won't let you do that."
I don't remember falling asleep, but I must have because when I opened my eyes again, the room was dark and there was no one there.
The next day my mother was acting quite unusual. She kept glancing at me and asking how I felt. She smiled at me and it almost looked loving. I was only distracted by her odd behavior by the fact that the Blakes and my father were not present for breakfast nor lunch. I thought they left early but mother reassured me that they will be joining us for dinner.
I was enjoying my day not having to pretend to be the perfect woman that does not bother men in their complicated discussions. I only missed Fernando but there was nothing I could do but be ready to say good bye to him soon.
I was in the process of getting ready for dinner when my mother barged into my room.
"Susannah, darling! I bought you a new gown to wear for dinner tonight! You are going to look lovely!" Behind mother, two of her helpers came in holding a beautiful blue and white gown that had long sleeves and a small intricate design of flowers running along the hem.
"It's gorgeous Mother. Thank you!" I touched the delicate material and was in awe at the beauty of it.
"Go on Susannah! Put it on. I want to see you in it."
May tightened my corset and helped me pull the dress over my head. She buttoned it in the back and then I went to stand in front of the mirror.
"You look breathtaking darling! It compliments your skin wonderfully!" She stood behind me, admiring how well the gown fit me.
"I love it Mother. I appreciate your gift but why the sudden surprise Mother?"
"It is very rude to ask Susannah." Mother quickly stepped away from me, a look of disdain on her face.
"I – I'm sorry Mother. It really is beautiful." I stuttered.
"Very well just watch your tongue. I just wanted to get something for my daughter. Is that a good enough answer for you?" With that, she left my room and so did her maids, leaving May and me alone.
"Ignore her Susannah. You look beautiful." May said. I sat at my vanity so she could pin my hair up. It hurt how short my mother's temper was with me. I always tried hard to please her and my father. I never questioned them and always did what I was told – with the exception of marriage, but I did not know how important it was to them. I pretended to forget about my mother and chatted aimlessly with May.
Dinner was a grand event. The dining room was decorated beautifully with fresh flowers and plates. The chandelier that hung over the table seemed to have been thoroughly polished so it shined more brightly than it did before. My father was at the head of the table with Brian to his right and Mr. Blake on his left. Of course I was next to Brian but I saw no use in this placement. He only so often acknowledged my existence. He was too busy speaking with my father and mother. It seemed that Brian was even more interested in Kara than me. For the first time this week I was beginning to really worry about having Brian agree to marry me.
I think dinner was delicious, but I barely tasted anything because my mind wondered to the possibility of ruining my chances with Brian. However, soon dinner had ended and we were all moving outside into the courtyard. We had beautiful flowers and plants everywhere in the courtyard. It was Mother's favorite place to show off to her friends. We all walked around admiring the rose bushes when Brian surprised me and turned his attention to me.
"You look exquisite Susannah." He gave me what must have been his best smile and I tried to blush.
"You are too kind Brian." I bowed my head to seem bashful.
"You are more beautiful than any one of these roses. You may not know this, but your beauty is spoken well of among gentlemen." I assume this was supposed to be a very flattering compliment but I was not impressed.
"Oh, Brian I don't know what to say. Thank you." I turned away in an effort to look like I was too shy to look him in the eye but really I rolled my eyes.
"Susannah, I have been searching for the perfect woman to be by my side for the rest of my life." He stopped in front of me and I felt like there was a giant hole in my stomach.
"Susannah Simon, will you be wife?" He dropped down on one knee. From a bystander's point of view, the scene was utterly romantic. A handsome man with the perfect smile was proposing to a stunned young woman and her family looked adoringly on at the couple, all while being surrounded by roses.
"It would be my great pleasure Brian." I smiled and tears streamed down my face. Everyone thought it was out of happiness but in reality, I was closer to throwing up than hugging Brian. In the end, he slipped the engagement ring on my finger and the champagne was brought out.
