French Prisoners:
"So, Angleterre..." France said accusingly, throwing a newspaper at England. His eyebrows were twitching and he had a polite—if frozen and radiating malicious intent—smile on his face. "My prisoners aren't good enough for you, are they? A letter such as this–" he pointed at the newspaper viciously, "–and your whole country is in an uproar!"
"Well, that's not what I mean," England shot back, a dark glare sparkling in his eyes. "Why should I have to deal with your prisoners? You are deporting them—illegally, I might add—to me. I won't stand for it. Why should I have to deal with your pond scum?"
"Pond scum?!" France demanded indignantly, slamming his hands on a desk. "They are French. They are leagues above your English people, that is for sure—!"
"This is coming from the country who had 'in the heat of passion' as a legal defense for rape—"
"This coming from the country who had to ban Christmas for a time because they interrupted Church services—"
England blushed, his voice crawling up to a yell. "Well you're the country that invented the condom—"
"No that was you!"
"No, it was you!"
"Obviously you are short of memory Angleterre because that was clearly you."
"My memory is fine, France, but at least I'm not delusional. Your 'City of Love' is well-named for a reason!"
"Oui, but leave Paris out of this–!"
In all their arguing they hadn't realized how close they had gotten to each other. They had their hands up on the table, leaning as far as they could to face each other, their foreheads were almost touching.
Someone knocked tentatively at the door. A young servant boy opened it and saw England and France yelling at each other from kissing distance.
"Um... sirs? Am I interrupting something?" he asked. He did not want to interrupt something between these people, no sir.
Blinking at how they were interrupted, England suddenly realized how close he was to France... Lurching back fiercely and blushing a furious red, he spluttered for the boy to stay, assuring that no he was not interrupting anything, anything at all. France just sat back and smirked, shifting his leg so that it touched England's.
England violently jerked his leg back and gave the Frenchman a brief but deadly glare, then focused back on the boy.
"Ohonhonhon..." the Frenchman sniggered playfully in the background.
"What was it you wanted to tell us, lad?" he asked loudly, talking over the frog's croaks.
"Sir, the letter was a hoax."
That shut them both up.
"...WHAT?!" the enemies shouted, leaning forwards together toward the poor boy. The serving boy took a nervous step back.
"W-we're trying to find out who the perpetrator is, but so far no luck."
"Wh-who could've done this?!" England demanded.
"Yes, where was this letter traced?!" France said with almost the exact same expression that was on England's face. As if noticing this, they gave each other twin glares.
"Stop copying me!" France cried.
"You copied me!"
"Obviously you must fix your eyes!"
"As long as I get to fix your head!"
The two flung themselves at each other, tumbling onto the ground in a sprawl of limbs.
The servant boy retreated from the room quietly, not wanting to interrupt anything between them.
A few years later...
A door was knocked on urgently. "Sir, I have to come in!" the same servant boy, now grown, called.
"Alright," a distracted voice came inside.
The servant boy let himself in, and blinked. The man looked exactly the same, besides the fact that he was sipping tea, but he shook it off. Orders are orders. "Sir, do you remember that hoax letter a few years ago?"
"The one that almost caused another war between France and me? Of course," he said, not looking up from a book.
"Well, we found out who the hoaxer was."
"Hmm?" England raised an eyebrow as he sipped his tea, indicating the serving boy to go on.
"It was Benjamin Franklin, sir."
He spewed his tea all over the book. "What?!"
H/N: Read this, if nothing else - To be honest, I'm not sure if this was an actual hoax. I've been digging around the internet for this, but there's no sources backing this up (except for reddit). Take it with a grain of salt and just enjoy the story for now. :)
Anyway, here's the story. Once upon a time a letter was sent to a London newspaper complaining about how England had to take deported prisoners from France. English people were outraged, and French people fought back because that English uproar implied that the English were too good for French prisoners. Even the governments of both countries got really involved before they all found out it was a hoax.
It just so happened that Benjamin Franklin went to England as an ambassador during the late 18th century. And you know. He was bored. So he sent a letter and nearly provoked a war. Though honestly it wasn't that hard since England and France are... England and France.
And the best part? Franklin did it back in the colonies. He wrote letters to a newspaper under the pseudonym 'Silence Dogood' complaining about Harvard kids and how the only thing they learn is how to act like stuck-up snobs, along with making fun of all the drunk men passed out by the beer hoses (this was basically America's stereotype back then). 'Silence' actually won over a lot of guys (who thought he was a girl) and some of them tried proposing to her when 'she' revealed she was a widow.
