Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story.
BGM: Sinking in Quicksand! (Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam)
"Soooo, this is the famous Doop Doop Dunes." Starlow said as they wandered into the desert. "…Okay, seriously, is it just me or does the Mushroom Kingdom keep expanding every time we go on one of these adventures?"
"I'm just too busy saving the princess to notice these things." Mario shrugged.
"I swear, there's a new desert every time." Marisa sighed.
"Well, last time, we were at Pi'illo Island." Reimu said.
"I would've preferred Pi'illo Island." Paper Reimu grumbled.
"Eh? What'd you guys do?" Marisa asked.
"Repainting an entire island." Paper Mario said.
"And before that was retrieving the Sticker Star." Paper Sakuya said as all the paper characters shuddered at the thought.
"Was it that bad? I could've sworn my universal counterpart didn't mind that incident too much." Marisa said.
"Yeah, but Sabrina hated it." Cirno pointed out.
"Ooooh, that's right."
"Seriously, I miss her already." Cirno sighed.
"I'm sure she's fine." Paper Cirno said. "Besides, I'm sure this universe's Cirno isn't causing too much trouble."
"Here's hoping, otherwise I'd kick her ass."
"Sabrina… That Pokemon trainer?" Sora asked.
"No, I think it was that teenage witch." Riku said.
"Teenage what now?"
"…Alright, that's it, when we're done here, we're introducing you to that show." Riku said as Kairi nodded.
"I should probably mention that I thought Sabrina was a name for an island." Kairi admitted.
"Teenage witches and Pokemon trainers aside… look out there!" Starlow said, pointing out in the distance as they saw Bowser's castle. "I wonder if this was a shortcut, considering we didn't go through Toad Town and long grassy hills with several enemies in our way this time."
"It probably was." Yukari said.
"I just hope her highness is okay." Impa said as her paper counterpart nodded.
Pause BGM
Meanwhile…
BGM: Bowser's Castle (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)
"Okay seriously, how can you hurt people with a paper hammer?" A Hammer Bro asked.
"Want me to whack you with it to find out?" The Paper Hammer Bro asked.
"Nah, I'm good. Wouldn't want a paper cut."
"Hey!"
A few Shy Guys were dancing around their paper selves. "Is it me, or do we look cuter in paper?" One asked.
"We sure do. I'm sure our Shy Guy fanclub is going bonkers over our paper selves."
"You guys have a fanclub? So do we!" A Paper Shy Guy exclaimed.
"Booyah!"
With General Guy…
"Ten hut!" General Guy said as he was looking at his paper self. "Hmm, not bad, if I do say so myself."
"Hmm! Even in 3D, your clothing is spotless."
"I can say the same to yo-… e gadd! You have a spot on your uniform!"
"I do?!"
"Indeed! Drop and give me twenty, maggot!"
"Alright, but you're doing it WITH me!" He said, kicking some dust to dirty the uniform.
"Agh!"
"Now drop and give me FORTY!"
"…Why you…!" General Guy growled as he tackled his paper self to the ground and formed a fighting dust cloud. "I'LL SHOW YOU NOT TO MESS WITH MY UNIFORM!"
"Ha! My uniform is better!"
"It looks like a hand me down… from your mother!"
"Gasp! My mother was a top notch commander in the Shy Guy army! TEN LAPS, SOLDIER!"
"I'LL RUN TEN LAPS ON YOUR CORPSE!"
"WHY I OUGHTA!"
"Oh ho ho ho! I've always wanted to see our strict general beat himself up!" A Shy Guy exclaimed.
"Totally! He gets what he deserves!"
"…Am I the only one that feels bad for him?"
"Yes."
"Aww…"
With the Kameks…
"Alright, order! ORDER!" Kamek yelled, gathering their attention. "Fall in, minions!" He ordered as Bowser's minions and their paper selves gathered, including several of Ganondorf's minions.
"Alright, now that we have your attention, please give a very cold welcome to… Bowser!" Paper Kamek said as the two Bowsers came in… only that the original Bowser was hogging all the glory.
"H-hey! Out of my way!" Paper Bowser growled.
"Minions! Now that we have doubled in power, and not to mention teaming up with the likes of Ganondorf-" He was interrupted by a lot of booing when Ganondorf was mentioned.
"I thought you hated him!"
"Do you NOT remember that Subspace Emissary fiasco?!"
"He's a traitor!"
"QUIET!" Bowser yelled. "I know what Ganondorf did and I'll be honest with you, I do not trust him. In fact if we lose again, I'll roast him where the sun don't shine. However, he is a valuable ally. Like it or not, including me, Ganondorf will be on our side for the time being." He said, as several groans were heard.
"Out of my way!" Paper Bowser said, getting in front of Bowser.
"Hey!"
"Minions! Now that our army has quadrupled, we will SQUASH Mario and his pals once and for all!" He declared as lots of cheering were heard, until Bowser got in the way.
"Quit hogging the spotlight!"
"You quit hogging the spotlight!"
With the Jr's…
"Man… I know we should be excited and all but… I'm bored!" Junior sighed.
"No kidding." Paper Junior said. "Not to mention that there's nothing to do beside guarding the four princesses."
"There's also Ganondorf." Junior pointed out. "I do not trust him."
"Neither do I. You should've seen him in our world… he's horrible. He even made my papa angry when I accidentally bumped into him and he backhanded me!"
"He did what?!" Junior exclaimed in shock.
"Mhm. Even called me a pest. You know how much that hurt? It wasn't fun."
"Yeesh… glad that didn't happen to me." He said. "…Say, speaking of your world, you came out of that book, right?"
"Yes."
"And… if we find that book, you'll have to go back home?"
"Mhm." Paper Junior nodded.
"Hmm… what if we find that book and destroy it, that way, you'd never leave."
"Oooh, that's perfect! That way we won't have to leave and our dads will be thrilled!"
"And not to mention all the fun we'll have!"
"Yeah!"
Both Junior's high fived while behind them, the Peachs and the Zeldas were locked up.
"We need to get out of here." Peach said.
"Yeah." Paper Peach nodded. "Fooling the Bowsers is easy, but… Ganondorf on the other hand."
"Ganondorf isn't easily fooled…" Zelda was leaning on the wall of the cage. "If only we can do something about it."
"Hmm…" Paper Zelda looked at the bars and looked at her paper friend as they went through the gaps easily, much to their counterparts surprise.
"Great, so how are we getting out?" Zelda asked.
Paper Zelda grabbed onto her arm. "We'll just pull you out!"
"Just… try not to scream." Paper Peach said.
End BGM
Back with the others…
Resume BGM
"Alright, this should be easy." Starlow said.
"Let's go." Erza said.
"Wait a minute…" Luigi looked out in the distance. "Guys, look!" He pointed in the distance as they saw Nabbit hanging around in the desert.
"Oh good, we get to take some stuff back." Lucy smirked.
"Alright, let's do this!" Natsu exclaimed as they went after him as Nabbit saw them and quickly took off. They chased after him, all trying to tackle him but it was to no avail until they all managed to get a huge dog pile, causing Nabbit to laugh at them… until two lightning bolts struck down behind him and the Laxus' grabbed him from behind.
"That's quite enough." Laxus said as Nabbit sweatdropped as he pried himself free from the two, but not before dropping the Drill Shell and then he took off.
"…How did he squirm out of their grasp?" Paper Gray asked.
"Ha!" The two Natsus grinned and walked up to the two.
"You're not as tough as you look anymore! If you let a simple creature run off from your grasp, then we can take you down easily!" Natsu declared as they got ready to fight… buuuut one fist to the head for the both of them knocked them out easily.
"Behave." Laxus said. "We didn't think he'd be that slippery." He said as his paper self nodded while the two Happys shoved their ghosts back into their bodies… and the Lucys dragged the fire heads away while chasing Nabbit a bit more, but before they could get any further, a blockade prevented them from getting any further.
End BGM
"Hey, what's the big idea?!" Marisa demanded.
"Ehehehehe!" A familiar voice cackled as the two Kameks appeared before them.
BGM: Event – Kamek (Paper Mario: Color Splash)
"Ugh… great." Marisa groaned.
"Two Marisas, oh, how I remember that horrible incident… but whatever! You really think you can go on ahead to Bowser's castle just like that? We like to say otherwise!"
"Oh come on, it's about a hundred of us against two of you!" Paper Mokou cockily said. "It's you and what army? You can't even beat us!"
"Oh, is that right? Well, why don't we do something about that?" Paper Kamek asked as they flew off and fired magic on all of them, although strangely enough, the Lucys, Cirnos and Daiyouseis were left unaffected.
"There, now come get us from way up here!" Kamek said as they were up above them.
"Pathetic!" Marisa said as they flew up… only… they fell to the ground. "OOOF!"
"What just happened?!" Flandre asked.
"Oh, we'll tell you what happened! We weakened you!" Kamek cackled. "In fact, you Gensokyo brats can't even fly anymore! Your precious powers won't save you now!"
"And while we're at it, you Fairy Tail brats have lost your strength!"
"Your magic from your Keyblades are gone."
"The Goddesses' powers are compared to humans."
"The Mario Bros can't jump that high anymore."
"The Master Sword is basically a stick at this point."
"The angels are… well, weak."
"Needless to say, we weakened you!"
"WHAT?!" Everyone yelled.
"Excuse me! I didn't feel anything!" Lucy said.
"Yeah, neither did I!" Cirno said.
"Or me!" Daiyousei said.
"Or us!" Their paper selves said.
"That's because four of you are already useless and the ice fairies are idiots anyway. Their idiocy always gets themselves killed and… to be honest, their ice isn't very good anyway."
"WHAT?!" The Lucys and Daiyouseis yelled.
"HEY! I AM NOT AN IDIOT… IDIOT!" Cirno yelled.
"Says the girl that crossed over into this universe and did a switcheroo!" Kamek said. "You'd think you'd trick us all, but everyone knows you're the same Cirno… but with different memories! As if THAT would fool anyone!" He said, causing Cirno to stiffen.
"And my Cirno… well… you know…"
"WHY I OUGHTA!" Paper Cirno yelled.
"That's what you think…" Flandre growled as both of them aimed their hands at the Kameks and clenched their fists, but nothing happened.
"Hmm, did you feel a pinch?" Kamek asked.
"I felt being lightly slapped."
Both of the Flandres eyes widened in horror while the Marisas looked at each other and nodded, pulling out their Hakkeros.
"MASTER SPAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!" Both of them yelled, unleashing their powerful lasers. It looked about the same, but, the Kameks were still there after they were engulfed.
"Ooooh, that was a nice pleasant breeze, wasn't it?"
"Didn't even feel a thing."
"WHAT?!" The Marisas yelled.
"Man, I should've thought of this years ago!" Kamek cackled. "Have fun! Ehehehe!"
"Your cackling is annoying." Paper Kamek said.
"Not as annoying as yours!" Kamek said as they flew off together.
End BGM
"Did… did he really weaken us…" Pit said.
"He did…" Viridi clenched her fists.
"Argh!" Paper Kaguya growled and went straight to Paper Mokou. "This is YOUR fault! If you hadn't said something, we wouldn't be pathetically weak!"
"Oh shut up! How was I supposed to know that'd happen?!"
"By being a cocky idiot!"
"You're one to talk, miss "I killed my father while having him look for those stupid artifacts!" Seriously, those artifacts are probably tacky anyway."
"WHY YOU!" Paper Kaguya proceeded to tackle her and got into a massive fight again.
"ALRIGHT, BREAK IT UP!" Both of their 3D counterparts yelled, separating the two.
"Fire!" Sora exclaimed, attempting to unleash Firaga on a cactus… but nothing came out. "…Oh my…"
"We truly have been weakened. All of us." Impa solemnly said.
"Agh… so what!" Natsu said. "Who cares if we're weakened, we're still here, aren't we? We can get our crap back!"
BGM: Sora (Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMIX)
"He's right." Starlow said. "After all, didn't Samus go through something similar on her adventures?"
"Or when I slept for about a year and my magic was all gone for… some reason." Sora said as Riku awkwardly rubbed his arm.
"Yeah!" Paper Sora said. "We shouldn't let this stop us!"
"Weak or not, we're still in this together!" Natsu said. "We may be a shell of our former selves at this point, but you know what? Who cares! We can take down anything! If we're weak, who gives a crap! We'll just make ourselves stronger!"
"He's right. There's no use moping over this." Erza said.
"I'm going to kick his ass when get our powers back!" Flandre smirked, high fiving her paper self.
"Oh, we have a special place in HELL for the two of them!" Eiki said.
"We can do this." Sakuya said. "Nothing slowed us down before."
"Now let's-a go and show them what we're really made of!" Mario cheered as the rest cheered and they took off to go the long way around Doop Doop Dunes, but as they were about to press a button, Nabbit proceeded to come in and steal all of their weapons, just to rub salt in the wound.
End BGM
BGM: Time's Running Out! (Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam)
"HEY! GIVE THEM BACK!" Lucy yelled as Nabbit giggled and ran off.
"Oh come on, we had a moment!" Starlow complained as they chased after Nabbit, trying to tackle him but to no avail.
Unaware of them all, the three Hades were watching them from atop of a cliff.
"Well, that wasn't very nice of those Kameks." Hades said.
"I'll say." Paper Hades said, watching them tackle Nabbit and getting a few of their items back until they had to chase him again. "I have to say though, seeing Pretty Palutena get reduced to human status is such joy!"
"Indeed!"
The other Hades laughed. "Yes, watching them scurry about is fun and all, but I say…" He smirked. "We should help them get their powers back."
"Oh? And how, pray tell, will you do that?" Hades asked.
"Simple! We just hijack their powers from Kamek and scatter them around the Mushroom Kingdom into the various bosses of this story. They do have to earn their powers back after all."
"Genius!" Paper Hades said. "Although, I do feel like a stinker and mixing up the Palutenas and the Viridis powers and giving them to each other."
"Making Palutena the Goddess of Nature and Viridi the Goddess of Light?" Hades mused. "Hmm! Now there's an idea…"
"Oh, and while we're at it… I did bring in a few friends from my universe. A certain four Koopas that only appeared during the Sticker Star incident."
"Sticker Star? Even I thought that was a bad idea… but changing their attacks to mere stickers was a fun idea!" Paper Hades giggled at the thought. "But why them?"
"I promised them revenge after their defeat and I sent them here. They have no idea they're in another universe! Heh, and to think I promised them that they'd defeat Sabrina too."
"You are EVIL. I love it!" Hades grinned as they all high fived while discussing more of their ideas while the others eventually took their stuff back from Nabbit and then he took off as they chased after him, buuuuut a huge Pokey and his paper counterpart landed in front of them to knock them all back.
End BGM
"…Well, that's unfortunate…" Starlow groaned. "NOW what?"
"I dunno about you… but we need to go after them." Natsu said as they saw a huge block in their way as he, along with Erza, Laxus, Flandre and their counterparts punched the blocks… only to have their hands throbbing in agony.
"Agh! That's not how it's supposed to happen!" Natsu complained while wincing.
"Now I totally understand how Marisa feels." Laxus growled, shaking the pain out.
"THANK YOU!" Marisa yelled.
"Oh!" Paper Mario had an idea and whispered to the Mario Bros and Paper Luigi as they nodded as they got into position, and did Quartet Hammer Attack to destroy the block with ease, and then they took off to destroy more of them, with the help of the Lucys calling out their Taurus' and then they called them back and went on the bridge… where the Pokeys proceeded to shake the bridge to try and make them fall.
"As if that'd work!" Dark Pit said as they held on… only for the Paper Pokey to slam his head into the bridge to split it in half… and then they all fell to the abyss below.
Up on a cliff…
"Hmph! Look at them falling off the bridge."
"Should we go take them down since they're probably weakened from the fall?"
"Oh yes, lets."
"So, Red, your orders?"
"Take them down and have our revenge, of course! We shouldn't let our reputation be smothered!"
"Exactly!"
"Come on, boys! Let's go!"
"RIGHT!"
Meanwhile, at Youkai Mountain…
"It's great to have you here, Cana!" Suika giggled.
"Come on, have a seat!" Yuugi grinned as Cana pulled up a seat.
"It's great for us to be here." Cana said.
"Yeah, you said i-… wait, us?" Suika asked as Paper Cana appeared behind Cana.
"Hello."
"…And here, I thought we drank too much when we saw our paper selves." Yuugi said, pointing over to see Paper Suika and Paper Yuugi drinking to their hearts content.
"Heeey! Don't just sit there! Come join us!"
"Well, I did bring a lot of barrels." Cana said, pointing over to see Gildarts and his paper counterpart bringing up a wagon full of heavy barrels.
"Come on, old man, put your back into it!" Gildarts said.
"You put your back into it!" Paper GIldarts said until they put the wagon down.
"Alright! The best kind of alcohol!" Suika grinned as they each grabbed a barrel.
"Drinking contest, go!" Yuugi said as they all proceeded to drink straight out of a barrel while the Gildarts' watched.
"…And I thought our daughters were monsters with those things…" Paper Gildarts said.
"No kidding." Gildarts said, but eventually, the Suikas and Yuugis fell over from drinking too much alcohol… but the Canas were still going.
"I'll win this contest!"
"No, I WILL!"
"…It's gonna be a tie." Gildarts sighed in annoyance as his paper self nodded in agreement.
So... who'd win?
Cana or Paper Cana?
