Disclaimer: They aren't mine. If they were I certainly wouldn't be writing stories about them. I'd be living adventures with them. But since I can't I'll have to settle for this.


Chapter 3: Redemption

Dean watched silently from the hotel doorway as his brother and Bobby pulled out of the parking lot in the Impala, heading off to do something that he surely felt he should be doing himself. It just didn't feel right to stay behind while they went out and hunted without him, but what else was he supposed to do? Sam didn't trust him. Nothing he could possibly say could change that.

Bobby wasn't even much better himself. He didn't want to risk Dean getting hurt. What a joke that was. After everything he'd already been through he didn't believe there would ever be anything that would compare to the pain he had felt in hell, but Bobby did at least mean well. What he did was out of love, unlike Sam who just didn't trust or believe him at all.

No matter how much he wanted to come up with a valid reason for his present state of living he just couldn't. He knew that Lilith had somehow managed to conjure his body for him. That had happened not very long after his death. He could remember coming to and feeling not quite real in that dark pit below. But then she had been there not too long after, and she was furious. Sam had managed to survive and honestly the only way he could describe her reaction was a full on tantrum. Dean knew that if circumstances had been different and he wasn't rotting in the deepest darkest pits of hell that he would have taken a real perverse pleasure in seeing the demon's fit.

But as it was she had promised to make his stay there more unbearable than he could ever imagine and she hadn't been lying either. Her hound had been there too. He could see it and the mangy thing was still covered in his blood, and of all things licking it off and quite enjoying the treat. Seriously a freaky thing to see if you thought about it too hard. She had done something with some of the blood though and the next thing he knew he had his body back. The body was still ripped, tattered and bleeding, but some how alive and able to move, well almost move. He was pinned to some sort of webbing and couldn't manage to get free. He had spent a lot of his time in hell attached to that webbing as demon after demon floated in for a visit. He was like a side show freak that they all came to stare at and play with and their idea of play wasn't exactly his idea of fun. Some had physically attacked him, others had messed with his mind but they all wanted a chance at the great Dean Winchester. A lot of them were in a downright rage considering he had exorcised several of them himself, and it sure did piss some of them off when he didn't have a clue who they were; after all they did all look the same to him. Fugly, just down right fugly.

These were things that he knew he couldn't tell Sam or Bobby. These were the things that nightmares were made of and he quite preferred not to subject them to those memories.

He waited a quarter of an hour longer and then pulled a set of keys from his pants pocket. A set of pickup keys to be exact. Bobby hadn't even noticed they were missing as he rushed to leave that morning with Sam.

He closed and locked the door behind him and then crawled into the pickup. Just because Sam didn't want him to come with them didn't mean he wouldn't show up on his own. He still had a job to do as Sammy's older brother and he'd do it whether Sam liked it or not. As he drove he checked behind the seat and found the extra machete that Bobby had left. Good old Bobby always carried a spare. It would have been nice to have some dead man's blood too but beggars can't be choosers.


Damn, this wasn't going as he'd planned. The vampire nest had been a lot better protected than they had expected and even though they had taken out most of the vampires within the first ten minutes Bobby had been hurt. Sam was standing protectively over the older hunter who was lying on the floor unconscious as three more bloodsuckers surrounded them.

He hefted the machete and waited to be rushed. The first one was relatively easy as it just rushed blindly in. The second was a little tougher and actually managed to land a few sound blows to his ribs before he knocked it to the ground dazed and unmoving. The third was a female and she snuck up behind him and jumped on his back just as he was about to make the killing blow on her mate. Her teeth grazed his neck and he spun wildly trying to fling her off as he staggered around the room. He'd never seen a vampire show so much tenacity before. No matter which way he turned or twisted she held on and managed a few more nibbles at his neck and just as he wondered if he'd ever dislodge her he heard a cracking sound and the floor boards of the old barn he stood on began to crumble right below his feet.

Within seconds he felt the vampire let go as he gave her one last push while he was falling and the next moment he found himself wedged tightly below the floor looking up at a two by three foot jagged hole in the wooden planks. While he was struggling with the vampire he hadn't noticed the metal grate below his feet that had given way with some of the rotten floorboards, but he soon began to squirm as the feeling of being trapped closed in on him. As near as he could tell he had fallen into some sort of drainage tunnel below the floor that got more and more narrow as it descended down into the darkness. His legs were both firmly wedged into the smaller end of the tunnel pinning them in place and making it impossible to move either up or down.

His arms reached up frantically trying desperately to reach the edges of the hole or any thing else that he could maneuver his way out with. But it was no use. His arm length was at least a foot too short.

He began to hear movement above him and his blood ran cold thinking of Bobby lying unconscious above and that skank of a vampire still up there and moving. Ah hell, he had to get out. His panic more than doubled when he heard more noises that sounded like a scuffle. Maybe Bobby had regained consciousness. But was he in any shape to take on that she-devil?

After another couple of moments of muffled fighting he heard someone mumble "Shit, that hurt," and then a loud female scream that could have only been from the skank.

He waited in fear for another few seconds and then couldn't help himself. "Bobby," he yelled his voice carrying up and out of the hole. "Bobby, are you okay?"

Once the echoes of his voice died down he waited in silence for his friend's voice but instead he heard someone drop heavily to the floor next to the hole. "Oh god, how bad are you hurt? Bobby!" His words came out panicked as he imagined his friend bleeding to death up above with him stuck down a hole.

A moment of relief hit him as he saw a shadow move over the hole above him but instead of Bobby's face peering over the edge of the hole he saw a face he hadn't expected.

"Bobby's still out, but he's breathing. How the hell did you get down that hole, you numbskull?" came the familiar voice of his brother. Well the thing that looked like his brother he had to remind himself.

"What are you doing here? You were supposed to stay at the hotel. And how did you find us anyway?" Sam asked anger rising in his voice wondering if just maybe he was in league with the vampires somehow. How else would he have found their nest? Sam hadn't told neither he nor Bobby where it was before they left that morning.

"Look, just cause I didn't get the bartender's number doesn't mean she didn't tell me anything, and I came to help your inept hunter ass, but if you'd really like me to leave I'll collect Bobby and be on my way," came Dean's scathing reply. He was really beginning to get tired of his brother's attitude. He'd put up with it the day before because he had been overwhelmed at seeing his little brother again but at that moment he just felt way too much like crap to take it anymore. That bitch of a vampire had dug her nails into his back and he was almost positive that she'd ripped out some of the stitches that Bobby had put in for him. Every inch of his back felt like it was on fire now.

Sam just scowled at him unwilling to ask for his help even if it would be the wisest bet.

Even though he had just threatened to leave his little brother behind Dean knew he could never go through with that threat, so he leaned against the edge of the hole with one arm and reached his other hand down waiting for Sam to reach up and grab it. "Come on, Sammy, just take my hand so we can get the hell out of this place."

Sam scowled up at him and hesitated. He knew his anger would get the best of him someday but today he just couldn't hold it in. "Don't call me, Sammy!"

Dean growled in anger and wanted to just grab his brother by the hair and yank him out of there but his reach just wasn't that long and he knew it. "Fine, Bitch, grab my hand so we can get the hell out of here."

"Bite me, Jerk," Sam responded automatically before he could stop himself.

Dean couldn't help the smile that touched his lips at their familiar banter. It felt good to hear his brother call him that again even if he knew it was just a slip of the tongue on Sammy's part.

But the smile was wiped from his face as he felt something heavy land on his back and he was forced flat on the floor with his chest, neck and head leaning over the hole. "Son of a…" his curse was cut off as something grabbed around his head and took hold of his chin pulling his head to the side.

He could feel hot breath streaming down his neck and it smelled of rancid decaying blood. "My, my, look what we got here; a dead man and his brother. I'm just wondering which of you is dead and which is the brother," came a smooth mocking voice.

Sam stared up at the second vampire that he had knocked out. He hadn't even thought to warn Dean that he wasn't dead yet.

"Get off of me you moldy piece of dead flesh," Dean said through clenched teeth. The position his head was being held at was putting so much pressure on his neck that he feared it might snap at any moment.

"Oh but what would be the fun in that, Dean? And if memory serves me right, you weren't much more than a rotting piece of flesh a few days ago yourself," the creature crooned in delight directly into his ear. He heard the grunt his captive made and kept speaking. "Oh yes, I know who you are. We heard that you got out. I was rather surprised to say the least."

"Great, I'm famous, who cares. Either let me up or snap my neck but damnit do something?" Dean growled as the evil being let his head slip just a fraction of an inch so the pressure on his neck wasn't so intense. It wouldn't do to accidentally kill his play toy before he had his fun.

"Oh, but don't you want to know how I knew it was you?" The vampire really was enjoying this torment. It was more fun than any of the kills he had made in years.

"Not particularly," Dean answered his eyes moving around trying to see anything near that he could get a hold of to fight the monster off with. He was not at his full strength and the creature was almost superhuman, so he was definitely at a disadvantage here.

Sam was almost mesmerized by the scene above him. The vampire was claiming that this was Dean. For an instant there he himself had slipped into the old brotherly attitude but this was different. One of the enemy was calling him Dean and trying to kill him. If he wasn't Dean what would be the point in this show? He swallowed hard staring up at the person who he had been denying since he had walked back into his life. God, it was Dean. It had to be, didn't it?

The vampire though ignored Dean's uncooperative answer. "I can smell it on you. Hell that is. You reek of it, that and blood, old blood. It doesn't matter how many times you wash it from your skin. It gets caught in your pores and won't completely go away. You must have bled dry a hundred times over to reek of it this much. Lilith is very good at reanimating dead objects, now isn't she?"

Sam suddenly felt the world drop out from under him and cold chills swam up his spine as bile rose in his throat. His mind couldn't help imagining his brother dieing a hundred times over and that demon bitch bringing him back to life to watch him die again and again. "You bastard, stop it," he bellowed squirming even harder trying to shift his body anyway imaginable so he could push himself upward.

"Don't worry, Sam, I'll get to you soon enough. I'm gonna enjoy every moment of the next couple of hours as I first bleed your brother here dry and then your friend over there. Then it will be your turn. You get to be last since you did slaughter most of my family. You took my family so now you get to watch as I decimate yours," the vampire explained in great glee.

Dean had had enough of this. He pushed up with all his might trying to dislodge the much stronger being above him but this only garnered him a shove in the back of the head. "My, aren't you a feisty one."

"I'd say bite me, but you'd probably take it as an invitation, fang face," Dean came back with, again trying to struggle his way free.

"Why yes, yes I would." The devilish reply was whispered into his ear and then he felt his shirt collar ripped away as fangs descended into the crook of his neck just above his shoulder. He couldn't hold back a groan as he felt the fang begin to feed on him.

"Dean!" Sam yelled reaching up and trying desperately to grasp his brother but his own arm was just not long enough. He could see the vampire's eyes and they were filled with gluttoness mirth as he fed greedily on his brother. Blood started to leak out around his mouth and slide downward until it fell in fat droplets landing on Sam's cheeks. He reached up wiping at the blood and again had to fight down the bile. Yet again he was staring up at someone he loved being killed right before his eyes with their blood dripping onto him. First Mom, then Jessica and now Dean. The similarities were so frightening. He couldn't do this. Not again. He couldn't watch as someone he loved died like that again.

Dean could feel his strength fleeting away with every ounce of blood he lost and his eyes sought those of his little brother's wanting so desperately to find a way to save him, yet again, but knowing he had no chance of doing so. He wasn't ready for this yet. He had been too weak and too injured to begin with and now they would both die because of it. At least Sammy's soul would go be with their parents, wherever that was. He knew where he'd end up though. Just because he'd managed to get out didn't mean that she didn't still own his soul. He had a one-way ticket back downstairs.

But just maybe once he was gone Sammy would find a way to beat this thing. It would have to get him out of the hole to kill him, wouldn't it? Yes, he needed to believe that Sam would find a way to save himself. Hadn't Bobby said that Sam had become good at taking care of himself?

He reached out the arm that was hanging over the edge of the hole wanting so desperately just to have some contact with his brother again before he died.

Sam saw his brother's arm reaching out to him and threw his left arm up grasping his hand, clinging to it like a lifeline as tears started to roll down his face. He felt his brother's grip tighten on his hand and stared into those moss green eyes. Eyes that begged him to keep fighting no matter what. Eyes that would soon dim and extinguish forever if he didn't do something to stop this. He couldn't let that happen, not after he'd just found him again. Not after he'd just realized that this was his brother. He couldn't lose him again.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I tried," Dean whispered letting his eyelids fall shut feeling as if he was being pulled under an ocean where he was drowning on his own blood and would only end up right back in the pit.

"No, Dean, don't you quit on me now! You came back from hell, this should be a walk in the park compared to that," he called back squeezing his brother's hand trying desperately to will him to live and trying desperately not to break himself. But his voice broke anyway and it felt as if his heart was being ripped from his chest, just the same as it felt a little over a year before when he held his brother's bloodied body and cried for what he had lost. He couldn't bear losing him again.

He had to find a way. His mind whirled with possibilities. Some were ridiculous and other's just downright outrageous but then it hit him. He tightened the grip he had on his brother's hand and prayed he wouldn't harm him doing this. He pulled with all his might and was pleased that neither Dean nor the vampire seemed to budge but he himself was propelled upwards and he felt his legs break free of the tunnel walls that held him. He wasn't able to completely pull himself from the hole but he did get far enough up to land a fist into the vampire's face knocking it back away from Dean.

Dean's eyes flew open again at his brother's movement and as the vampire's weight was lifted from his back he felt his brother's full weight pulling at his arm and began to slide forward unable to stop the movement. Luckily Sam had thought to brace his legs against the tunnel sides and didn't slide too far. As it was his head was level with the broken floor and he grabbed the floorboards desperately trying to pull himself up before the vampire recovered enough to attack again.

Dean rolled away from the hole never letting go of his brother's hand as he tried to help him pull himself out of the hole. Between the two of them they had almost gotten Sam completely out before the vampire stood and started towards them again. Neither of them had a weapon handy and Sam knew he'd probably have to fight the creature with his bare hands, but he'd done it before and he'd managed to win that time. He certainly did not plan on failing this time.

But just as the creature was about to pounce on him it stopped moving and they heard a wet squishing sound and to their amazement something jutted out of its chest covered in blood and gore. The creature turned around looking for whatever had attacked it and they each could see Bobby standing there with blood covering both hands.

The vampire stared down to the object protruding from its chest and smiled a wicked smile. "A wooden stake, old man. And what is this supposed to do to me?"

Bobby smiled right back. "Normally nothing, but when it's covered in dead man's blood… Well you should start feeling a might bit poorly here in a second or two."

The smile was wiped from the creature's face as he felt the first wave of sickness pass through him and he fell to his knees unable to stand any longer. Sam stood and crossed towards him picking up Dean's discarded machete along the way and took great pleasure in slicing the beast's head from its shoulders.

Sam sighed in relief and nodded his thanks to Bobby for saving their butts. "Man, am I glad you were here, Bobby."

"I think I owe you an I told you so," Bobby answered reaching down and wiping the blood from his hands on his jeans.

"Damn," came a tired voice from behind Sam and they turned to see Dean sitting up next to the hole grasping the side of his neck and it was easy to see that he could barely hold his head up.

Bobby peered around Sam and they both moved forward to stand above their fallen family member. "Damn what, Dean?" Bobby asked in confusion.

Dean glanced up to them and had a rather embarrassed look on his face. "This was supposed to be me rescuing your butts, but look at me. I'm the one that needed saving. I must be losing my touch."

Bobby couldn't resist the chance to scold the oldest Winchester. "If you had stayed at the hotel like I told ya to, you wouldn't be so damned messed up, now would ya?"

Sam though couldn't sit back and watch either of them beat up on Dean for what he'd done. God, Dean! It really was him. His brother was alive. He didn't know how and for the first time that day he didn't even care how. It didn't matter. There was no more questioning it. This was Dean and whether he realized it or not he had saved them. "Bobby, if he'd have stayed back at the hotel both of us would probably be dead by now."

They both looked at Sam and neither spoke for a long moment. That sure was one hell of a turn around in attitude for the young hunter and a welcome one as far as Dean could see. But he didn't want to make this awkward, so when he finally broke the silence it was with a simple phrase. "Can we just get out of here?"

Bobby reached down and pulled Dean up from the floor letting him lean heavily on him. He knew that the young hunter was probably hurt much worse than they could see, so he didn't mind at all supporting him.

Now that the danger was over Sam seemed a little lost as what to do next so he walked ahead of them and opened the doors to the Impala. Bobby decided to leave his pickup there till the next day. After the hit to the head he had taken he wasn't too sure if driving was the best of ideas then and besides he wanted to be able to keep a close eye on Dean until they got back to the hotel.

Once at the hotel Sam got out and opened the door to his room waiting for Bobby to bring Dean in. Bobby sat the wounded hunter down at the foot of the second bed and then got to work gathering the supplies he'd need to take care of his wounds.

Sam stood back silently watching Bobby work not at all sure what to do. He felt as if he should be doing something to help his brother but after the way he'd acted he feared that Dean would reject anything he tried to do.

The bite on Dean's neck was pretty deep but at least not ragged like a lot of vampire bites seemed to be so Bobby was able to just clean the blood from it and then bandage it. Once that was done Bobby stared down at Dean and sighed heavily. "What else?" he asked knowing that there was too much blood on Dean's shirt to just be from the bite.

Dean hadn't spoken yet. He was hoping that Bobby would just let it go at that until he had a chance to get back to their room. "Nothing, I'm fine."

Bobby snorted at that. "I bet. How many of those stitches I put in did ya yank out?"

Sam looked from Bobby to Dean in confusion. What stitches?

Dean glared at Bobby. He had promised. Bobby glared right back though. "Don't give me that look. I told ya I'd keep it to myself if you took care of yourself. Look at you. You're a mess and now I have to clean ya up, again!"

Dean sighed heavily. He wasn't gonna get out of this. Sam was gonna see but what else could he do? Bobby was a like a pit bull when he got something into that thick skull of his.

So he let his head drop in resignation as he reached up and started unbuttoning the shirt. It seemed to take such a long time to get the buttons undone and once they were his fingers stalled. "Hey, Sam, do you think you could get me a beer," he called out desperate to keep his brother from seeing.

Sam nodded but instead of heading out of the room as Dean had expected he walked towards the sink and Dean turned glimpsing a small fridge tucked next to it. Damn modern conveniences, he thought bitterly as he turned back around facing away from Sam.

Bobby was getting tired of the stalling though. "Dean, take it off. I'm tired and I want to go to bed, but I'm not gonna do that till you are taken care of."

Dean could hear the frustration in Bobby's voice so he stopped stalling and pulled the shirt off letting it fall to the floor next to the bed. After just a few short seconds he heard glass breaking and swung his head around. Sam stood next to the sink and his hand was held out like it was holding something but the beer bottle he had just opened was on the floor in about a hundred pieces with a puddle of beer running off the linoleum floor and into the carpet. Dean could see the way Sam's hand was shaking and the ghostly pallor his face had taken on. He didn't know what to say so he just turned back around and waited as Bobby removed the torn and bloody bandages. That she-devil of a vampire had certainly done a number on his stitches. "Damn, boy, half of these are gonna have to be re-stitched."

"Sorry, Bobby," he mumbled.

"It's okay, kid. But you are not doing any more hunting for at least the next two weeks, maybe longer. You're coming back to my place and will be on house arrest until I decide you are better." Bobby knew he sounded like a dictator at the moment but he didn't honestly care. He wasn't gonna let this fool kid get himself killed in the first week he was back alive. What really surprised him though was the fact that Dean didn't fight him on it. He just remained completely quiet and waited for the pain to begin.

Bobby glanced back at Sam and saw that he had gotten down on his hands and knees and was cleaning up the beer and glass, but the way Sam's hands trembled over the glass was more than noticeable. At that moment Bobby decided it was time to throw these two onto the path of togetherness again. "Sam, can you come help me with this? That hit on the head I took really messed with the old noggin. I'm not so sure how well I can stitch right now."

Dean glared up at Bobby again, who just ignored the look and waited for Sam to stand and clean his hands. After a moment he was standing next to Bobby and the older man handed him the thread and needle he had prepared. Then Bobby turned and went to the fridge pulling out three beers. He brought them back and handed one to each of the boys. Sam had sat on the bed behind Dean but had yet to touch him. He stared at the multitude of scars both old and new and at the wounds that were still raw and painful.

He had heard the vampire's words but nothing could have prepared him to see this. How much pain had his brother suffered? And he had done that for him, so he could live. And how had Sam repaid him. He'd mistrusted him, disbelieved him, he'd even suggested that Bobby kill him. He'd let him down in the worst possible of ways, plain and simple. How would he ever make it up to him?

He reached out one trembling hand and started the first stitch being extra careful to make the stitches as small as he could. His brother already had too many scars.

After about fifteen minutes of silence Dean spoke up. "Sure could use some tunes right about now," he suggested swallowing hard as he tried to control his breathing. He kept feeling the urge to gasp for air, which wasn't unexpected since he was half holding his breath with each stitch. He couldn't believe how much worse this felt than the first time when Bobby had stitched him up. He knew the infection had to be getting worse for it to be that painful but there was no way in hell he was gonna let either of them see how bad he truly felt. Sam blamed himself enough already and at the moment Bobby was just too ready to pass out lectures and besides it sure as hell wasn't a Dean thing to do.

Bobby reached out and grabbed the tv remote flipping the channel to one of the music video stations and was pleased to see a classic rock tribute going on. Dean would like that. As the first strains of AC/DC's If You Want Blood rocked through the tv speakers they each cringed in unison. Bobby immediately flipped the channel to another music station and was relieved to hear Nickelback's Someday float into the room. Not Dean's usual fare but a lot less morbid than anything about blood. After a moment Sam was surprised to hear Dean mumbling the words to the song under his breath. Sam hadn't even suspected that Dean would know who Nickelback was, much less know the words to their songs. Bobby though wasn't surprised to see the motion of his lips. It wasn't all that different than when he had spoken the exorcism chants. Dean had needed the distraction then and he needed it now.

He could see the tender way that Sam was caring for his brother's wounds and it brought him hope that somehow the two of them would be able to heal each other if they gave it enough time and patience. "Well I think I'm gonna go get some sleep. You got this, Sam?"

Sam nodded never taking his eyes off his task and Bobby was honestly happy to see the depth of emotion in his young friend's eyes. This hurt. It hurt like hell to see what his brother had survived. But it was at least an emotion, something Sam had been devoid of for way too long now. "I'll be right next door if you need me," he added and then left the two brothers alone together.

As the music continued to pipe through the room Sam worked on in silence wiping away the excess blood from his brother's back as he stitched the wounds closed again. Several times he laid a cold wet cloth on some of the wounds that looked angry and red, knowing the cool water would sooth the burning. At those times he could hear his brother sigh in some relief and the small sound made him choke back the tears that were threatening to fall. His tears wouldn't help his brother. They wouldn't make the pain or the memories any less horrid to stand.

Once he had replaced the bandages on the wounds he found one of his own shirts for his brother to wear. He knew it would be too big but at least it wouldn't press against his wounds. Dean slid the shirt over his head and covered himself sighing in relief. It was over for one more night at least. He glanced up when Sam handed him a couple pain pills along with what looked like antibiotics and a glass of water. He didn't question as he swallowed the pills. Whatever Sam had given him he probably needed. Then Sam took a seat on the other bed facing him. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Dean pretended to be watching the tv as Sam just sat and stared at him. "Dean…" Sam began not sure exactly what to say.

Dean didn't turn to him but he did speak up interrupting his brother. "Don't, Sam. Just don't say it."

Sam opened his mouth to argue but Dean cut him off again as he turned towards him pinning him with as serious a stare as Sam ever remembered seeing on his bother's face. "What I did was my choice, not yours. Everything I got, I brought on myself and whether you like it or not, if I had to, I'd do it again."

Sam shook his head wanting so desperately to refute what his brother was saying. "Damnit, Dean, no one deserves that and I swear to god if you ever try to give up your life for me again I'll..." But he didn't know exactly what he would do.

"You'll what, Sam? Kill me! Just give it up. If I have to die for you I'll do it a hundred times again and nothing you say or do is gonna change that. I can't live if you are dead. I just can't, so do me a favor and try to keep yourself out of trouble a little better. Just because I'm willing to die for you, doesn't mean I'm looking forward to it." With that Dean turned away from his brother and curled up on the bed on his stomach not wanting to argue anymore.

Sam sat for several minutes just staring at his brother's unmoving form but soon he stood and walked from the room quietly. He knew his brother wasn't asleep yet and he also knew he'd wonder what he was up to but there was just something he needed to do.

When he reentered the room he wasn't surprised to see that Dean had switched beds so he could sleep nearest to the door. That was something his brother had always done. Putting himself in between Sammy and any danger that might come at them. He knew he couldn't stop his brother from trying to protect him but at least he could make sure he was better prepared to do so.

He sat on the bed next to Dean and waited for his brother to acknowledge his presence. Soon the older sibling turned his face towards Sam and waited for whatever he wanted to say. Instead of saying anything Sam pulled an item from the duffle he had dropped at his feet and laid it on the bed next to his brother. Dean stared at the familiar object and couldn't hold back his smile as his hand snaked out and grabbed the handle of his beloved Bowie. The knife automatically disappeared under his pillow. "Thanks, Sam," he whispered feeling a slight bit safer with it under there.

Sam nodded and spoke up. "We'll have to swing by dad's storage to get most of your stuff but I kept that and this with me." With that he lifted an old worn leather coat that had been his father's first and then Dean's. Sam had wished on several occasions during the past year that it had been big enough for him to wear, so he could feel closer to those he'd lost but as it was the sleeves just weren't long enough to fit his lanky arms. That hadn't stopped him from keeping it with him though. He placed the coat on the bed next to his brother and Dean's hand that was hidden under the pillow on the Bowie slipped back out and just rested on the worn leather that was softer than any he'd ever felt before. Sammy had taken good care of it. "You know it's just as much yours as it's mine, Sam. He was your dad too."

Sam smiled at that. Neither of them had ever questioned the fact that the jacket would go to Dean. "It fits you, Dean," he answered but then thought to add, "And, Dean, it's Sammy, okay?"

Dean shifted positions on the bed so he could look up to his little brother. He couldn't help the smile that touched his lips. "It's good to be back, Sammy," he whispered with a small smile touching his lips. Sam had to nod in silent agreement.

"There's one more thing that I kept, Dean," he said reaching up and pulling the necklace he was wearing out from under his shirt, where the pendant always rested next to his heart. It had been the one thing of his brother's that he could keep with him at all times and no matter how cold he had tried to become after Dean left he'd never been able to let it go.

Dean stared at the pendant and sighed remembering the Christmas that Sam had given it to him and how much it had meant to him over the years. It was meant to be a present for their dad but once Sammy realized that their dad was for the most part only barely a member of their little family he had given it to Dean, the only person who was always there for him no matter what and the one who had told him the truth about what was really out there.

But Dean couldn't help feeling wrong about taking it back. He hadn't been there for Sammy in the last year and it had turned his little brother into something only half human. He couldn't help feeling like he had let him down. It didn't matter that he had went to hell to save him. As far as he could see if he'd been doing his job better Sammy would have never died to begin with and he would have never had to make that deal at all. "You can keep it, Sammy. It looks good on you." And I don't really deserve it anymore, he added silently to himself.

Sam's brow furrowed in confusion. Dean loved that pendant. He never took it off while he was alive. "No, Dean. I gave it to you." Sam felt a moment of panic grip him. He desperately wanted things to go back to how they were before Dean died, no matter how crazy the idea was. He knew that neither he nor Dean could completely be the same as before but there were things that he knew could be, and the familiar things that Dean loved the most were some of the things he never wanted to change. He pulled the necklace over his head being careful not to break the leather cord it was on and then reached out slipping it over his brother's head.

Dean adjusted the necklace so it rested on his chest. He could see the distress his brother felt over the suggestion that he not wear it again and he couldn't stand to see that look in Sammy's eyes. It was a look of fear and though he didn't completely understand where it was coming from, he wouldn't give it a chance to swamp his brother.

Sam sighed in some relief seeing the necklace where it rightfully belonged. The last year had been the most frightening year of his life and he'd never admitted that to anyone. Nothing about life felt right without his brother in it and he had closed himself off not wanting to feel anything but the fear had still been there, just below the surface, taunting him. "Dean, promise me that you're gonna stay this time." Sammy knew it was a stupid thing to ask. Dean couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't die again and Sammy knew it but he still wanted to hear his brother promise. He needed to escape the fear he'd felt and the only way to do that was to make sure his brother stayed with him.

Dean knew if he made that promise to his brother that he might have to break it eventually but he had broken promises to him before. Hadn't he promised to kill Sammy if he ever suspected he was becoming evil? When Meg had possessed Sam, Dean hadn't been able to keep that promise and he knew he never would.

But Sam needed to hear him say this and there had almost never been a time in his life when he'd been able to deny his brother anything. "Yeah, Sammy. I'll do everything I can to stay with you this time, okay." It wasn't a complete promise but it was the closest he thought he could give. He really didn't want to lie to his brother if he could help it. "Now get some sleep, kid. You look almost as tired as I feel." With that Dean lye back down and slid his arm back under the pillow letting his eyelids fall shut. He was completely exhausted and all of the emotions they were trying to deal with were making him feel even more worn than his condition warranted.

Sam smiled at his brother's attempt at mothering him when he was the one who clearly needed taking care of. "Sure thing, Dean," he answered but couldn't help the impulse as he reached out and pulled the covers up on his brother knowing his fever was going up and Dean would soon start feeling chilled. "Wake me up if you need anything." Sam didn't really think he'd sleep that night but he could at least pretend to for Dean's sake. He had way too much on his mind to think sleep would take him anytime soon and he still felt frightened but not quite as much as before. Everything seemed a little better with Dean there and he planned on keeping it that way this time.

Dean answered with a half sleeping murmur, "Sleep, Sammy."

Sam crawled into his own bed and turned facing his brother's bed watching him in the pale moonlight that shown through the window. He could see the slight tremors of movement as he drew in shallow breaths and several times he got up and sat next to him as he noticed his body start to shake while locked in some dream or nightmare. Sam didn't try to wake him, knowing that dreams were the minds way of working through troubles that a person could not deal with in the waking world. But during the times that they seemed to affect him most Sam would reach out one comforting hand and place it on his brother's shoulder hoping that the contact would somehow seep into the dreams and help his brother through them and he did notice that Dean would calm some at the touch. But the fact that the touch didn't wake him showed Sam just how exhausted he really was.

During the times that Sam would actually go back to his own bed he would catch his eyes nearly closing but then he'd feel panic and they'd fly open again searching for Dean and only the sound of his brother's shallow breathing seemed to calm his fear. He knew it would be a long time before he could ever sleep peacefully again. But the lack of sleep was minor compared to the thought of having his brother back and the demanding urge to keep him safe no matter what.


Author's Note: Well Sammy gets to be Sammy again. Boy am I happy about that. His whole robot routine sort of creeps me out. Anyhow, even though the boys are back together this fic is far from over. Lilith has plans for our boys and unfortunately for them I won't just leave them in the happy state they are in right now. So next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it ready. All comments will be appreciated.