Chapter 3- the ceremony

She got up slowly and walked over to me with her hands on her back, supporting her heavily pregnant belly. I wondered if I looked this bad when I was pregnant. I at least I still put effort into my appearance. Cecelia, my mentor had frizzy brown hair and dark bags under her eyes. She yawned and she came over to greet me. She said she needed to sit back down and so we walked, well she shuffled, back to the black leather couch. Fhez looked confused and demanded to know who she was. I couldn't believe he was really that stupid. "It's our mentor," obviously, I said the last part in my head. Cecelia won the 48th Annual hunger games and this was her 10th year in mentoring. She didn't look like she cared about much except her baby though. "So now that you're here can we discuss a tactic in the games?" I mumbled shyly.

"Now I'm here! Are you kidding me? It's not easy getting over here to potentially save your life when you have a 600 ton baby arriving in about a week. Not that you would know!" she growled. I knew exactly what she was talking about but I didn't say anything, it was actually Fhez who mentioned it. "Actually she does, she has a one year old baby," Fhez says while stuffing his face with some rice and meat he had ordered as room service. I was surprised by how much he could eat; he would starve in the Hunger Games unless he joined a career group.

"Well, it's rather unfortunate of you to be here then. I don't know what I would have done if I had children then I got reaped," Cecelia's tone softened. I thought about how I had gone hysterical but it wasn't because I didn't want to leave my family to be honest, I was just thinking about myself. I didn't even think about how I could have hurt my family because of the way I acted. I prayed that Ali would have been left alone at the very least. I just made a noise of agreement.

"Can we discuss allies now?" I queried, changing the topic.

She looked at me, her face full of concern now she knew what I had to fight for. But I didn't just have to fight for my baby; I had to fight for my family, my friends and for Kinlay.

"Who were you thinking of having," Cecelia asked softly.

I thought carefully about my answers. I couldn't say certain people because if the Capital had other evidence about us meeting then this could be the final puzzle piece to put the big picture together.

"Lily, the girl from district 12," I say meekly.

"Why her?" Cecelia asks confused.

"She's good with plants," I shrugged. Cecelia nods at this and asks me if there's anybody else. I told her I would probably have to be allies with Andrew as well because he was her brother and they were inseparable. At the mention of a brother and a sister going into the same games Cecelia's eyes filled with tears. "It's terrible having to mentor you poor children. I remember my games; they were so vile and disgusting. I still have nightmares about them. Why would somebody wish this misfortune upon children?" Cecelia rubbed her belly protectively.

"It's worse because of their mother's grief if they both die," I whisper. I couldn't imagine what I would do if I lost Ali but imagine if I had another baby and lost them too. The thought was close to unbearable.

Cecelia quickly composes herself remembering that the Capital would be watching and says, "I'll make sure the tributes from district 12 are your allies."

I thanked her and headed off to bed knowing I only had a few more nights here until I would be forced to my death. I lay restlessly underneath the silk sheets thinking about all the ways I could die, how Kinlay could die, how Burien could die and how my family could be next in the Hunger Games. Nightmares of all these events plagued me throughout the night and I woke up with giant bags under my eyes. Gold came rushing into my room carrying on about how everything was so unorganised and how Cecelia had only just got here last night and that was a problem, etc. I flopped back onto the bed and covered my head with a velvet pillow which Gold promptly threw across the room. She huffed before going through today's schedule. She claimed we were already late yet I couldn't even see the sun above the horizon. Today was the individual interviews and the sponsor dinner and show. Basically that meant that they asked us a bunch of questions after we're all dressed up like dolls and shove us out into a carriage to parade around with the Capital citizens oohing and ahhing at us because we're just puppets in their fantasy world. What a fun day to look forward to. This Hunger Games was structured differently to all the others, I wondered why.

Diamond and her prep crew plus another person came bursting through my bedroom door's crowding it more. Diamond introduced me to Sienna, Fhez's stylist before she left to go deal with him. I braced myself for whatever terrible outfit they had planned for me tonight to represent my district and it was as bad as I thought it would be.

"Now don't worry about it. I know it's really tacky but there's a surprise at the end. Press this button when you pass President Snow on your way back ok?" Diamond pressed a black piece of plastic with a button on it into my hands and smiled reassuringly.

The rest of the day was a fast blur of words, high heels and practising how I laughed. When it was finally time to suit up I felt like I weighed a ton. I was both physically and mentally exhausted. I hated the outfit and I was extremely tired. Diamond wrapped the heavy material around me and then twirled it up into the air. The long trail hung loosely in the air, swirling like a mermaid's tail, it didn't help. The prep team filled in my face with assorted colours from a crayon box of makeup. My eyes were circled with black which faded into red and then gold. My lips were painted blood red and made to look thicker as my eyebrows were darkened and formed into a sever shape. My face gave off the illusion that I was starving and angry with the hollow cheeks and bold colours. I actually found myself liking it. My now short, chocolate brown hair was dyed black again and so much gel was put in it, it looked like I had a textured half broken cup on my head.

I was in the waiting area for the interviews and found myself sitting next to Fhez who looked very similar to me. His blonde hair had been dyed black as well and his childish features had been erased with makeup. One could hardly believe he was only 13 before all this but now it was impossible. I grabbed his hand and smiled up at him. He nervously smiled weakly at me but soon wiped the look off his face. "We're enemies once we're in the arena. I already don't want to have to kill you; I just want to show my strength." He kept his eyes straight forward. I understood what he meant. He would have no allies in the arena, just him all alone. He knows he will die but he was never understood by anyone at home, an outcast. This is his escape.

A woman carrying a clipboard called me into my interview through tight, surgically enhanced lips. I went into the room where there was only a camera man, a couch and Caesar Flickerman the new host for the Hunger Games. I sat down on the red couch that matched my dark lips and noticed that Flickerman's hair and makeup was golden. What was with everybody and gold this year? Everyone must just have been super patriotic but I didn't see much of Panem's other colours, red and black. Well, I must have been the most patriotic here.

"And welcome back to the interviews. Here we have Idding Cherrie from district 8. Idding, tell us something about yourself?" Flickerman says with a warm smile.

"I'm 17." I try to say as little words as possible.

"Shy are we?" Flickerman's smile grows. I just duck my head a little.

"Why did you pick to wear Panem's flag tonight, Golden Goose?" I already had a nickname it seemed. I wondered why he had picked that nickname though.

"Well, I didn't really pick it," I mumbled.

Flickerman laughs good heartily, "Of course you didn't, that's what your brilliant stylist is for, and I love the matching makeup." I thanked him.

"Is there anybody special at home that you're impressing?"

I blush deep red at that comment unintentionally. I could feel the audience glued to their screen right now. It had been a while since something like this happened and it would properly be a while again.

"Who is it?" Flickerman pressed. I just shake my head, my hair unmoving. Flickerman shrugs it off claiming jokingly that we would never know. I was surprised by the way he had with people; he could keep a dead conversation flowing with nothing to it. No wonder he was hired for the job. My time was up and Fhez was called in after me. I waited by our golden carriage with district 8 engraved into it. All the other districts had similar carriages. District 9 was next to me wearing tacky corn outfits and I felt sorrier for them then I did myself for what I was wearing. District 7, on my other side was dressed as trees which were only a slight improve meant.

Jazu and Jason from Fishtrict- that was what I nick named district 4 because they specialise in seafood- came over to talk to me. They were dressed in mermaid outfits and held giant tridents proudly. "You're not going to win the games just because you're sucking up to Snow," Jazu snarls. I whisper that it wasn't my fault even though I really wanted to yell at them telling them how much I despised this outfit and what it represented.

"I think we might kill you first," Jason cackles and walks back to his carriage with Jazu. I couldn't really help what I said next. "Nice knowing you Fishtrict," I call out before quickly covering my mouth with both hands. Jazu's eyes blazed with anger at my insult, I didn't think it was that bad but district 4 was known for ridicule about being career's and every game there is at least one person that makes a fish comment. They had it coming though, Fishtrict tributes were cold hearted. Jason raised his hand to strike me and I prepared to defend myself when a figure steps swiftly in front of me dressed in wool and cowskin, blocking the Fishtricts from me. Kinlay shoots a look that says 'what the hell are you doing' but he said, "Let's not kill each other before its time." Jazu and Jason growl a little but retreat. Kinlay glances at me again briefly before heading back to his own carriage. I felt his disappointment in my behaviour right down into stomach. I acted so foolishly, I should have known better. My face remained a blank mask of Capital obedience despite my feelings inside.

Fhez joined me and soon the trumpets were blaring announcing the start of the parade. Fhez and I got into our carriages and waited. I saw Fhez had a plastic button thing in his hand as well. Our flags intertwined together fitting perfectly. It was clever of Diamond and Sienna to do; it wouldn't have been easy either. In the factories we would sometimes have to create special custom outfits for citizens of the Capital and occasionally we would get an order for two that when next to each other, look like they can't be apart; one picture in two outfits essentially. I was deafened by the roar of the crowd as we left the waiting area. I remembered this was only the 5th Hunger Games where they had had this parade. Fhez and I looked at each other and in silent agreement; neither of us smiled or made any recognition of the audience, in fact my head was ducked the majority of the time. Fhez knew he was going to die but he still seemed bothered by the games. For somebody so simple minded, Fhez was hard to understand.

We only had about 100m left until we went back into the waiting area and I saw President Snow up in the stands in his own private box. He looked down at us with haughty contempt and I nearly snarled. Fhez nodded at me and in unison, we pressed the button unsure of what was going to happen. I felt a strange liquid pouring down my back and I swore my outfit was getting lighter. I peered up at the giant screens which were now zoomed in on us and my eyes widened with such surprise. I bit my lip to keep from screaming. Blood poured from the material and big dark letters had begun to appear on the flag. The blood of your victims the words read. Fhez looked as frightened as I was. What would the Capital do to me because of my actions? What would they do to my family? The screens went black and the lights shut off pretty quickly after the words appeared. Fhez and I were seized my peacekeepers and dragged away. Fear was pumping through my veins more than actual blood was. This was one of the highest forms of treachery and I was scared for my life. I was happy about the point it made but terrified. We were thrown into a dark office with hard metal floors. The door slammed shut behind us and I heard a lock click into place. "What did you mean to accomplish by this? None of the other districts saw this, only the Capital and there is no way they'd turn against me." The smell of blood and roses emitted from the figure behind the desk hidden by the shadows.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know I swear…" I babbled.

"Silence." A lit appeared on the desk, luminating President Snow's haunting face. "I know you didn't, I could tell by your terror when you saw what was happening. Tell me though, who did it?"

I didn't want to say it was Diamond although obviously it was. This must have just been a test of obedience and I needed to show I was compliant if I wanted to survive. I could rebel in my own way in the arena. "Diamond." I whispered sadly.

Fhez joined me and said, "Sienna too." He knew what I was doing. Maybe he wasn't as dumb as previously thought.

"Thank you. I trust you will never speak of this again. I'm not usually this generous." Snow said coldly. Both Fhez and I thank him over and over again for his kindness and get to leave with no harm done, to us that is. When we get back to our quarters I find two new stylists but with the same prep teams as before. The prep team's faces are puffy and red from crying, they knew what would happen. I hoped they didn't get punished too. Gold was twitching nervously on the couch with her clipboard broken in half. I went over to comfort her and tell her everything would be ok. "Stay with us ok? Don't go crazy, we need you."

"But everything's falling apart," Gold cried.

I hugged her like I would to one of my little sibling's when they were upset and this seemed to calm her. Tomorrow was the skill test and I couldn't afford another sleepless night and so when everyone else was gone I whispered to Gold if I could have some sleeping pills. Gold looked at me like I was crazy. "Do you have those wretched things in district 8? Their ancient not to mention unhelpful. Just order up a sleeping tea, it works better than any pill."

I went to my room and washed off all my makeup and got rid of all the hair gel. I looked at my hair unhappily once more before leaving the bathroom to strip off my disobedient flag and get into some soft, comfy PJ's. I twist the ring Kinlay gave me before the reaping around my 4th finger on my left hand. I had gotten rid of Kyle's ring of lies a long time ago. I ordered up a sleeping tea before lying under the covers with the mug held securely in both hands. I took a sip and immediately everything started to go fuzzy.

When I woke up I found that my tea had spilt all over the bed sheets. I felt so good after that sleep, it was the best I had had in a long time. As soon as I left the bed for the bathroom an Avox came into the room and stripped my bed of its damp sheets. Kinlay told me once about Avoxs. He said that they were traitors who had their tongues cut off. I gasped and ran out of the bathroom to catch a glimpse of the Avox's face before it left the room with an armful of blankets. Diamond's light blonde hair had been cut into a bog which was dyed bright red. Oh no, the Capital made her into one of their slaves. The look Diamond had on her face was that of pure misery and regret. I collapsed to the floor with my hand over my mouth in utter disbelief. The Capital wasn't even courteous enough to kill her, no; they had to make her suffer. Utter dread filled as I thought how close I may have been to sharing her fate.

Gold burst into the room, with tear sin her eyes. "Diamond's dead. I got the letter," she cried. I was glad that she didn't know the truth; it would have torn her apart. Seeing such torture happen to a loved one would be terrible. I'm sure that f Diamond passed her in the hallway then Gold wouldn't have taken a second glance, Capital citizens didn't make eye contact with Avoxs.

"I'm so sorry," I said with remorse that coated my shaking voice. Gold took one last sniff before she composed herself. She announced that today was the skill test and I was to discuss it with Cecelia before I went into the training room to present it. I met Cecelia in the miniature dining area on our floor. I got straight to business.

"I'm showing them my sewing skills," I proclaimed.

"Sewing skills won't get you sponsors," Cecelia said dismayingly.

"Mine will. I can create a body heat reflecting sleeping bag within an hour from just about anything."

"You don't have an hour."

"I only have 15 minutes and so I will make a camouflage for myself that will blend in entirely with any background." Cecelia looked at me unsurely as I said this. I wasn't too worried about sponsors; I could survive on my own.

When it was time to go down, I found myself in the elevator squished next to Kinlay. It was an awkward 5 minute ride down to the training centre, deep below ground levels. I waited for a few hours until they finally got to district 8. They called me in and I took a deep breath before entering through the doors. The sponsors and the head game maker were all feasting on lavish foods as they sat up in their luxurious box to view my talents. Thankfully, their attention span hadn't fully run out after all the hours of watching others. I headed straight over to the weaving station and found some of my previous creations were still there. I changed the plan slightly to what I originally had. I presented the sleeping back and set of clothes to them. They all leaned forward in their seats to take a closer look as I explained what I did. I was pleased that I know had all their attention, there weren't many who could do something so vital to survive as this. The head game maker asked me to show them me making something. Some vines lay on the ground of the station which I picked up and intertwined them to create a net of sorts. I then got some wood and chiselled it down. When the wood was ready which took about 12 minutes, I attached the net to a hole in the wood by using sap to glue it on. Thankfully this sap was the type that was a strong adhesive. A big rock stood near the station which I picked up and put into the net of the catapult. I aimed the catapult at the weapons station and fired. The game makers watched eagerly as the giant rock smashed into the weapon racks and sent metal flying everywhere. They even clapped before dismissing me.

Back at my room, Cecelia and Gold were giddy with joy as I told them about the game maker's reactions. Fhez returned soon after saying that he had just done some drills with some heavy weapons, nothing special. We all took a seat as the scores begun to show up on the screen. Flickerman accounted that both tributes from district 1 had scored 8's and I found myself growing nervous. The district 2 female scored a massive 10, I wondered what she did. Paul, the 12 year old from district 3 scored a 5 which wasn't too bad considering how young he was. The male tribute from Fishtrict scored a 3 whereas the female got a 6. Gold started to make a list of those who were going to be treats in the arena based on the scores. My friend from district 6, Burien scored a 5. I hoped she would be better in the arena. I didn't want her to be one of the weak ones who died first; then again, I didn't want to kill her either. The district 7 female scored an 11 and we all found ourselves staring at the screen with our mouths gaping open in utter confusion. She was so little and weak, what could she had possibly done to impress the judges so much. When it finally got to us I found myself holding Cecelia's hand nervously. I came first scoring an 11! I could hardly believe it, neither could Cecelia. I jumped around for joy and wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for Fhez telling me to quieten down for his score. Fhez only scored a 3 which damped the mood quite a bit. He didn't act surprised though. After Fhez, the girl called Katty from district 9's score was announced. She scored a 14 which was previously unheard of in the Hunger Games. If we were amazed at first by the district 7 female's 11 then we were utterly astounded by this score. Gold wrote down Katty's name in massive letters on the threat list. "Can you try to make her my ally?" I asked Cecelia, my eyes still popping out of my head. She said that she would try but didn't know if she could due to the amount of tributes properly begging her to be their ally right now. Kinlay was announced next. He must have shown them his amazing way with daggers and yet she only scored a 6. Both the tributes from district 12 scored low.

I yawned, and decided to go to bed. I only had 2 more nights of luxury before I was to enter the arena. I knew I would try to win but at the same time I knew that was impossible, especially when versing Katty with a score of 14.

I woke up in the late afternoon of the opening ceremonies where they would interview us as a group, a new addition to the Games. I felt nauseous thinking about how this time tomorrow either I would be in the arena, or on a hovercraft, dead. I saw my gown for the interviews lying on my bed. Telila, my new stylist had made a long golden dress that consisted on many layers. The sheer material on the top layer reflected the sunlight so that sparkles danced off my face. Leading up from the misty material of the skirt was a tight, yet conservative top made from soft feathers painted gold. Flickerman's voice appeared in my head, Golden Goose. Looked like Telila thought I should carry out the nickname. I got changed and Telila and her pep crew came in to do my makeup. Soft, baby pink gloss was painted over my lips and made them look bigger. The outside of my eyes were rounded with gold eyeliner and white was put across the waterline to create the effect of them looking bigger. The final touches of blush were added making my cheeks look as rosy as a young child's. My hair was dyed back my natural brown and curled into light, bouncy swirls. I looked younger in my outfit, more innocent. I thanked Telila for going along with my 'personality' of just being the shy girl. Fhez was made up to look tougher and older but wore a similar golden suit. His however, bore no feathers. We both looked about 15 years old with all the makeup when in reality we were 4 years apart in age.

The drive to the theatre were the interviews were held was short but the navigating inside the building took a long time. We had to pass through several security screenings before they would let us into the waiting area. When we were finally called on stage, I was so nervous I had started sweating horribly. This however, added to the effect that I was a shy, innocent girl. Flickerman welcomed everybody to the show like they had a choice to watch this. The girl form district 1 played the sweet child card, as did the boy. Those from district 2 and 3 played it tough. The Fishtrict tributes acted arrogant yet humorously. When Burien spoke, the crowd would laugh at her brashness as sigh well as her stunning beauty. Vivsian, the district 7 tribute didn't act typically strong like most would from a lumber district. She spoke intelligently and obviously had an education which was more than what most people from district 8 could say. Cyan, the boy from district 7 was much unlike Vivsian. When it got to his turn all he did was stare grimy at the camera and say dangerous things. He spoke about the capital's wrong doings and how one day somebody would stand up against them. I gulped a little at the direction he was going.

When it got to my turn, I mumbled my words and often had to repeat things. "How did you get the idea for your outfit, Golden Goose?" Flickerman winked. I blushed and said it was all my stylist's doing. Flickerman said that he loved how the gold matched his hair and I laughed pleasantly at that. All my practising at laughing right had the crowd awing at me. "And how old are you now?" Flickerman asked.

"17," I smiled.

"I mentioned somebody special in our private interviews. Would you care to elaborate now that we're in private?" he grinned.

"Well, I have my little girl. The only thing of true worth," I stated and regretting saying that straight afterwards. I was afraid the Capital might take that as an insult.

Flickerman took it good heartedly though and said, "You're very young to have a baby. Are you married?"

I took a deep breath but said with confidence, "No. My husband died a few years ago." I imagined the way Kyle would be reacting right now. I could see him growling and calling me nasty things. "I miss you, Kyle. It was only a year but it was nice. You'll never see your baby grow up, ever." I look up at the heavens as I say it genuinely but mean it sarcastically. Kyle would get the message, we're through. There would be no wedding if I returned alive, no him for me. He has no right to Ali and if he dared to touch her I would bring him down whether I was dead or alive. I only hoped that he didn't take his anger for what I did on national television out on my family.

"That's too bad," Flickerman said empathetically. The whole crowd was weepy and I was holding back a massive smile. The Capital citizens were so blissfully ignorant; I would actually like it very much if Kyle was dead. My time was up and they kept moving on. When they got to Kinlay he acted serious and sullen. The audience would fall for this but I knew that he was really a sweet, kind and was relaxed most of the time. It appeared we were both acting as if we were different people form what we really were. Kinlay wore a black suit with no contract in colour, not even his hair. How fitting that he would wear something one would wear to a funeral. The audience applauded us for a long time even after we got off stage and started walking down the thin corridor to where our transportation (courtesy of district 6) would be waiting. I stumbled around in my silly high heels and a hand caught me just as I was about to fall. Kinlay held my hand tightly as we walked down the rest of the stair case. It would remain unseen in the dim light and narrow walkway. We shot each other a quick look of pain, our hearts yearned for each other. I could hardly stand pretending not to know him and being away from him for so long. I would see him tomorrow in the arena though, but for how long?

I was up all night thinking about this terrible situation. There was only ever one victor and who would it be? If it wasn't me I wanted it to be Kinlay and if not Kinlay then Burien. I couldn't imagine living without Kinlay though; I would do anything for him. He could move on without me but I doubted I could without him. I ended up ordering a sleeping tea due to insomnia. I only had a few hours until I had to get up again but some sleep was better than nothing.