Chapter 3

Standing in the doorway to Danny's room, Jason can only smile at the scene in front of him- Sam sitting in the rocking chair asleep while holding a very much awake Danny who is amusing himself with his feet.

Quietly Jason enters the room and gently picks Danny up and walks over to the crib with the "Hey little man, why aren't you sleeping like your mommy?" Danny only smiles and lets out a happy gurgling noise. "Shhhhh Shhhhh, Daddy's here and you wouldn't want to wake your Mommy. Trust me she can be in some pretty bad moods if she is woken before she is ready. Let's get you a clean diaper and a fresh bottle."

Jason quickly changes Danny's diaper and redresses him and heads out to the nurse's station for a bottle. Once he is given the bottle Jason heads back to him room covers sam with a blanket. Jason then takes another chair in the room and sits down. While feeding Danny his bottle, Jason talks to the baby : "Shhh, I knew that a bottle was what you needed. You certainly have your mama's appetite. When your older I'll bet that you eat squid and all just like her.

You have no idea how lucky you are to have Sam as your mommy. She is everything a good mother should be: gentle, protective, loving, fun, understanding, and even though she talks a lot she is really good at listening. But the best thing about having Sam as your momis how she loves. She loves with everything she has, unquestioningly, unreservedly and unconditionally. At times I can't believe that she loves me but I am so incredibly grateful that she does.

"Your mom has taught me so many things about love and I'm hoping that I will get the chance to help teach you all those things too. I want to watch you experience the good things life has to offer and protect you from all the bad. I want to help you learn how to make good choices and learn to live with the consequences of your choices. I want to help you find your way and your place in the world and know that no matter what I will always be proud to call you my son. But most importantly, I want you to know that my love is unconditional and it knows no bounds. I love you and your mom so much and I always will"

Seeing that Danny was finished the bottle, Jason started to burp the baby and rubs his back while continuing "I messed things up real good with your mommy. I thought that because Franco was your biological father that I wouldn't be able to love you. I was wrong and your mama knew it. Seeing you on the roof tonight with Heather I knew that I would do anything to keep you safe. I knew that I love you the same as I loved Jake or Lila. I can't believe how wrong I was. I was so afraid that my hatred of Franco would prevent me from loving you the way you deserved, that I would look at you and see him and confuse my feelings for him and place them on you, but I was so wrong. I look at you and I can't help but love you as much as I love Sam. I thought loving Sam was easy but loving you is even easier than that. I wish I would have realized this all so much sooner, than you never would have been missing and your mom wouldn't have had to go through the pain of losing another child….I can't even begin to make that up to her."

Sam had woken when she felt Danny being lifted from her arms, but decided to listen to what Jason would talk to Danny about.

Ever since the rooftop and Jason telling Heather that he loved Danny and that he was his father, she couldn't help but want that to be the truth, and not something he had said to keep the baby safe. But listening to Jason talk to Danny, what he said when he thought no one was listening, made Sam fall for Jason all over again. Sam decided that if Jason asked to be a family, she would say yes, but she would need clarification first: does he have something going on with Elizabeth?

Deciding that she would let Jason make the first move, Sam pretended to wake as Jason was putting Danny back in the crib and covering him. "Is he ok Jason?" Sam asks with genuine concern. Having her baby back was still so new and she was quite scared that it was all a dream.

Seeing the concern and fear in her eyes, Jason sets out to reassure Sam, "Yeah he's fine. I just gave him another bottle and changed his diaper. He is out now. I know that you keep thinking that this is a dream or something is going to burst your happy bubble and someone is going to take him again. He is your son, Sam, and no one is going to take him from you again. I promise you." Jason hopes that Sam still trusts him enough to know that he wouldn't let anyone take her son away again and that she sees the truth of his words.

"Jason, it's not just that I'm worried about losing him again. I'm terrified of screwing up. I mean I don't have anything that he needs; I gave it all away when I thought…." she trails not wanting to voice that particular thought. "I don't have a car seat to take him home. I technically don't have a home, I'm still staying with my mom." The last part so softly that Jason almost didn't hear and hated that he had. The fact that she thought she didn't have a home made his heart bleed. He knew he had to make it all alright again, but he knew before she could listen to him about being a family she had to have faith in her ability to be a mother, a fact he never once doubted.

Jason knows that no matter what he said and how much he believed in her, only time will really help her gain confidence. "Sam, you are going to be a great mom. Look at how you are with children who aren't even your own, you've always been great with Michael, Morgan, Kristina, and Molly, even Hope for the short time we had her. You were even great with Jake and Cameron while you were with Lucky. We may not have been together and you may have thought I hated you but I would watch you with Lucky, Cam and Jake. You were amazing with them and it was a fact that was undeniable. You have always been great, you just need to give yourself time to get over the shock of having Danny back and the rest will come naturally."

The surprise and appreciation of Jason's words was evident on Sam's face, almost as if she really believed that he doubted her ability and that fact put Jason on guard. He heard her comment about not having a home and hated that she felt she couldn't count on him, not that he could blame her. He wasn't sure how to broach the next part but he desperately wanted to know if they could be the family they always wanted. "Sam, I heard what you said about not having a home to take Danny home to and know that things have been strained, but I really would like for you and Danny to come with me to the penthouse and be a family."

Surprised flitted across Sam's face, so Jason kept talking, more like rambling the way Sam usually does. "I know that I have made a lot of mistakes since we got married. After Franco, I was so set on killing him that you got thrown to the wayside and then I got sick and Robin died and I blamed you for not telling me and then things went downhill fast. I should have never let you leave the penthouse, I should have promised to love your baby because anything that is apart of you I would have to love for no other reason than a part of you exists inside of him. I love you and Danny and I want you to come home and be the family we have wanted since baby Lila died."

Seeing Sam's tears, Jason stops and looks at his hands not knowing what else to say to convince her. Knowing that Jason really meant everything he just said and what he said before, Sam has to know one thing before agreeing to going home, Elizabeth. "Jason, I think that we can both agree that we made mistakes this past year. I won't apologize for what I did in regards to Robin because I was right, but I am sorry that I kept what I knew about Franco from you for as long as I did. I just knew that it would change everything, and it did, I just wasn't ready for things to change."

Looking at Jason, Sam knows how truly remorseful he is about his actions and how truthful his words are. He finally was able to give Sam what she desperately needed to hear months ago- he loves her son like his own. But, before she recommits to their marriage and being a family, she needs to know one thing. "Jason, I believe that you love Danny as your own and that you would make an amazing father, I have always believed that and I want to come home and be a family. It is all I have ever wanted with you, but I need to ask you something. It may not be fair to ask but I need to know, and I need you to tell me the God's honest truth even if you think that the truth will hurt."

Sensing the question is serious and possibly a game-changer, though at this point almost everything that could go wrong has happened, Jason just nods as if to say 'I'm all ears'. Biting her bottom lip like she always does when she is nervous, Sam hesitates,with a deep breath for courage Sam begins in barely a whisper, "It's about Elizabeth. At Kate's bachelorette party she made it seem as if you and her had reconnected and that you were eagerly awaiting the divorce papers so that you could be free to go back to her. I heard you talking to Danny about wanting to be a family, I just can't figure out why you found Danny and how he and I fit into your life if you and Liz are getting back together? I don't want you to stay with me and Danny and us become an obligation that you're strapped with. If you have feelings again for her, I need you to be honest with me, I can handle it…" taking a few deep breaths Sam tries to continue "….it'll hurt like hell but I would rather you be upfront and tell me that you don't love me and no longer want to stay married than you stay with me out of obligation and see her in secret."

Rendered speechless, Jason doesn't even know how to attempt to approach the topic of Elizabeth, especially after her confession on his birthday and the night of Sonny's wedding. Struggling to find an answer, Jason doesn't miss the parallels of what is currently happening and what happened four years ago. Seeing Sam starting to close herself off to him, he knows that he has to say something. "Sam, your my wife and I love you more than I can show or tell you. Sam I don't have feelings for Elizabeth. She is nothing to me but the mother of Jake. I don't love her, in fact I don't think that I ever did love her like I love you. I will always care about her as the mother of my son…."

"something I'll never be" Sam mumbled so softly Sam was sure Jason didn't hear her, but he did.

"No Sam! I meant what I said, I love Danny no differently than Jake or Lila. Elizabeth will just always be there as a part of my past. This past summer has been hell on both of us and apparently brought up bad old memories and maybe even opened a few old wounds."

Feeling self-conscious Sam bites her lip and looks down at her folded hands, "It's just that since Robin's death you and Elizabeth seemed to have gotten closer, spending more time than usual with one another, you confided in her about my rape….I just can't help flashing back to when we fell apart before. She was always popping up and you kept seeing her in secret. I need to understand what is going on, because the worst thing would be for us to try and it fall apart. I don't want Danny in the middle of that."

Trying to gather his thoughts Jason kneels in front of Sam and holds her hands in his, "I never really thought much about how you were affected by the secrets I kept after the MetroCourt crisis. I was so preoccupied and then so angry that what you were feeling barely registered." Shaking his head in shame, Jason swallows the lump in his throat and continues, his voice heavy with emotion. "I never understood how much it hurt you for me to share confidences with Elizabeth and not until this whole thing with McBain did I ever truly understand. When I found out that he knew about Franco being my twin and the paternity of the baby before me, that he was the one to help you through that, it killed me inside. I was angry and hurt but more than anything I felt betrayed, I felt like you didn't trust me with something that could and did change our lives. I never truly understood how much my lies, evasions and secret with Elizabeth affected you so much and cause you to make such poor choices that summer. But I understand more than ever and I am so sorry for how I acted years ago; sorry doesn't even begin to make up for everything." By now Jason is hanging his head in shame over what he did and just how much he hurt Sam.

Looking up Jason meets Sam's teary gaze with his own and finally answers Sam in a firm yet quiet voice, "Sam, Liz lied to you at Kate's bachelorette party. She tried on my birthday to see if we could try again, but I told her no. I don't have any feelings for Liz." Jason looks at Sam with his eyes pleading her to believe him.

Softly Sam responds "Alright if you say so."

Jason picks up on her hesitation and doubt, both cutting into him like a knife realizing that though it had been years that they had been together again, Sam still had doubts. Of course she has doubts. You destroyed not just your relationship but her years ago; threw it all away for Liz. Cupping her face, Jason tries to convince Sam once more and not just with words. His eyes pleading the truth of his words, "You don't have to worry about Elizabeth. She is no longer a part of my life. Any friendship was destroyed when she lied. She won't come between us ever again, I promise."

Confused Sam asks Jason "What did she lie to about besides you wanting a relationship. I mean I'm pissed about the lie but you seem even more upset than I would expect. What else did she lie about?"

Not sure if he should tell, Jason hesitates. He hadn't planned on telling about Liz's lies and manipulations, let alone her reasoning for them, but he comes to the conclusion that if he wants to make a family with Sam he has to be completely honest. "You know that McBain was the one that got the DNA sample from Danny when he was with Tea but Liz was the one who submitted it to the lab for comparison to a sample of your DNA. Liz initially gave me results that concluded that you couldn't be the baby's mother." Jason pauses briefly as Sam bolts from the chair and walking over to the crib where Danny was sound asleep. Turning to face her back he continues "A couple days later, the night of Sonny and Kate's wedding, she confessed to not only convincing you that she and I were in a relationship but that you and McBain were in one as well. Then she topped that off with the truth about the DNA tests, that you were the baby's mother."

Turning around to face Jason is as confused as appalled by Liz's actions "Why? Putting the romantic implications aside, why would she want me to continue to believe that my son was dead? What did she get from my grief? What would it matter to her if my son came home or not? I mean if she hadn't lied to you, then maybe Heather wouldn't have been able to kidnap Danny and he wouldn't almost have fallen off the roof. Is this payback for when I watched Jake being kidnapped? Because if it is, this is no comparison! Maureen was an emotionally distraught woman who missed her baby, not a psychotic killer! Why, Jason!?"

Gulping, Jason can't look at Sam because Liz's reasons were rooted in so much more than revenge and Sam may not forgive him for his unintentional involvement. "Jake is part of the reason she lied. She basically said that she blamed you for how Jake's life turned out. But she also didn't want the baby to bring us back together."

Bewildered by his answer, Sam doesn't know which part to start digesting. "How am I to blame for Luke hitting Jake last spring? I mean if anyone is to blame other than Luke, it's Liz. She wasn't watching her Jake. Yet again, she was wrapped up in her latest baby daddy woes? I mean it wouldn't be the first time that her inability to watch her children would've caused something bad to happen. Not discounting my own blame or Maureen's but Liz wasn't watching her son in the park that summer. Then she left Jake in the house when the fire broke out and then again at the carnival she wasn't paying attention and Jake was in the collapsed tent. You know the only time she pays any attention to her children is when she wants to manipulate a man. God knows that with you not doting on her what will happen to Aiden and Cameron."

Finally realizing all the ranting she was doing and knowing that Jason was going to defend her, Sam turns to look at him. "Go on and yell at me. Tell me that I am horrible and whatever you want to say. Hell, you could even threaten to kill me again for saying such horrible things about poor, pitiful, pathetic Elizabitch! I won't apologize. What she did was unconscionable Heather Webber is criminally insane and a murderer. Maureen was a grieving mother- hell I was going out of my mind with grief that I couldn't have children. If you are about to say that so is she- don't! Jake died over a year ago and I had nothing to do with his death. If you dare defend one minute of her actions, there is the door and you already have the divorce papers- sign and file them."

Taking a couple deep breaths to see if she could calm down, Sam doesn't find any calm, she just gets even more riled up when the last part of what Jason said permeated her anger 'she also didn't want the baby to bring us back together' How unbelievable, Sam thinks. "She didn't want the baby to bring us back together. She is that fixated on you that she kept my son from me because she thought you would want to be a family with your wife. I mean at least when I went off the rails we were technically still together and she was married to Lucky and I did it because you were lying and keeping secrets, but I never not wanted you or her to not have Jake in your life. She really is unbelievable. She kept MY son from me- a baby you weren't even sure you could stand to look at yet alone love- because she wanted to be with you."

Sensing that the last comment was below the belt and see Jason cringe at the reminder, Sam takes several steadying breaths and tries to talk through everything rationally. "I'm sorry Jason that was harsh and uncalled for. You didn't have anything to do with what Liz did, and I shouldn't have some of the things that I did, I'm just trying to understand and internalize. Do you believe her? That I am responsible for the way Jake lived? Do you blame me for his death like she does?" she asks honestly scared of his answer.

What started out as a small smile of understanding faded to shock, horror, and disbelief. How could she believe that he blamed her for Jake's death?

Walking over to Sam and pulling her back to sit on his lap, Jason rubs his hand over her back to calm her. "Sam, Elizabeth was the one who decided before I even knew Jake was mine to keep him away from me and my life. Nothing you did changed how Jake was going to live. Elizabeth never wanted anything to do with my life. And as for his death, the blame lies solely on Luke. I would have never, NEVER have blamed you for that."

Seeing that Sam wanted to say something, Jason just nods and lets her speak. "If you and Liz had gotten together after Jake he might not have died because you have had guards on him. If you had married," her breath hitches at the thought of not being married to Jason and she can't continue.

Shaking his head, Jason starts where she stopped "Sam I honestly don't think I ever loved Elizabeth like you and she think I did. I will admit that I cared about her and there was somewhat of an attraction, but I think that I was in attracted to the idea of having a family and I was in love with my son."

Taking a deep breath Jason blinks back the tears that begin to form at the thought of the lost time with his son. "Do you remember that summer?"

Seeing her nod, Jason continues knowing it was about time the whole truth came out, "If you remember the way I do, you broke up with me, not the other way around. Before you say anything, you had every right to end things. Liz and I had been having, what did you call it, an emotional affair, for months, but it wasn't because I was in love with Liz, but I wanted to have a connection to my son. No matter what you think, the reason I never told you about Jake wasn't because I didn't love you or trust you but because I knew that I would ever have a place in my son's life and you wouldn't either. I knew Liz wouldn't budge on custody and I didn't want you to have to lose yet another child, especially after being told we couldn't conceive. I knew that you would have loved Jake just like I loved Lila, but you, like I, would have to love him from afar and I didn't want that torture for you. I would have never broken up with that summer, no matter what and I only got together with Liz because I thought that if I couldn't have you at least I could have a piece of my son. I never loved Liz, I loved my son. And no matter how messed up and far apart we were I never stopped loving you or wanting to be with you or having a family with you. I never gave up on that; I was going to wait until you got home to see but I never got rid of Lila's baby furniture. After everything I was just waiting to find a way past all the pain and betrayal. If I truly didn't think or want to find our way again, do you honestly I would have kept these" he says pulling her star necklace and engagement ring out of his pocket.

Gasping at the two tangible pieces of their history, the tears that were threatening to fall break their barrier and fall down Sam's cheek. "I had no idea you kept them. Wait why didn't you propose with the ring?" Sam asks, the first thought not exactly the most important of all.

Chuckling at Sam he is somewhat embarrassed of the answer. "I, uh, well…mmmhm…I guess that I didn't propose with it because it represents all the promises that I broke years ago and didn't want that to hang over this engagement and marriage."

"Well, why did you keep it then Jason if you see it as something so bad?"

Scratching his cheek Jason looks at the floor, "It may represent all the broken promises but it also represents all the good and the obstacles that we overcame the first time. I mean I gave this ring to you when I had lost my memory and I figured that if I we could survive memory loss than finding our way back to each other should be no problem. I guess, for me since we broke up in 2007 it has been a nightlight leading me back to you. I never believed we were over Sam. Molly is right you know, epic love like ours doesn't lose, can't lose."

Tears falling freely, Sam holds his face in her hands and kisses him with all the pent up love and even anger she has. Jason kisses back just as passionately, relief flooding him with every stroke of her tongue. When the need for oxygen overrides their need for each other, they pull back and look into each other's eyes, both noting the love present.

Just as Jason leans back in to kiss Sam, she pulls back even further and roughly grabs the necklace from his hand and removes the ring and places it on her ring finger and hands Jason the necklace and turns around for him to clasp it in place.

Once he's finished she turns back around and look him the eye "for the record, I don't see the ring as representing the broken promises but the strength that it took to overcome all the odds. We may have a rocky, difficult past but those obstacles made our love stronger and it endured it all."

"Does this mean your moving home? And more importantly you believe me about there being nothing with Liz?" Jason asks hopefully.

"Yes, this means Danny and I are coming home. And as far as Liz goes, she and I will deal with things on our own without your interference." Sam says seriously with Jason just nodding his assent. After all that Liz had done Sam should be allowed to confront the woman on her own.

Snuggling back into Jason's embrace, Sam's eyes start to droop but she fights to stay awake. "I'm afraid if I go to sleep I'll wake and find him gone again." She answers to his questioning glance.

"Go to sleep Sam, he'll be here when you wake. I promise." And with a final kiss good night the couple falls into peaceful sleep for the first time in months.