Chapter 3=3 year old Benson kids
Enjoy : )
I totally made up some random disclaimer that makes no sense but cracked me up: I wanna be a billionaire like Dan Schneider, own iCarly and the Seddie arc….but I'm not and I don't. Fail.
Random shoutout to TheWrtrInMe and Dwyn Arthur for their fic Full Circle. Go read it. Now. It's amazing, and both are phenomenal writers. Dwyn even posted it in some foreign language. (Thanks for the shout out Sam, and we posted the first chapter of Full Circle in Portugese for the Brazilian fans. Jennette loves ya'll…and we do too! – TheWrtrInMe) That's the kind of plus you have when you're bi-lingual. Unlike me lol.
What I wouldn't be able to manage if TheWrtrInMe wasn't my beta. Seriously. Amazing. Talented. What could possibly be wrong with this woman? Haven't found a flaw yet.
X
Sam sat in the kitchen, looking through the twins' baby books and waiting for them to wake up. These days she woke up when Freddie did and ended up like this; wide awake with nothing to do. The twins slept in later and later every day. She used to enjoy the silence, but now it was just boring.
"Mommy?" Sam looked over at the clock and was surprised when she noticed it was barely 6:00. Lily never woke up that early. She closed the baby book and walked to the twin's room. Lily was sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Sam walked into the room and sat on Lily's bed, pulling the little girl into her lap.
"What's wrong baby girl?"
"I don't feel good, mommy."
"What doesn't feel good?"
Lily pointed to her stomach, "Right here."
"You're tummy?"
"No."
"Well what's wrong?"
She pointed to her heart and Sam sighed.
"Does your chest hurt?"
"No."
"Then what is it, Lily bug?"
"I don't feel good!" Lily whined, tears falling from her eyes. Sam sighed again; knowing asking her any more questions was useless. A three year old wouldn't be able to tell her anything.
"Okay baby, let's go watch a movie huh?"
Lily nodded and Sam stood up, picking Lily up with her. She put a hand to Lily's forehead and then her neck, noting the fever that seemed to be climbing. She thought back the past few days. Lily hadn't been acting like herself; she'd been tired and coughing with no interest in playing or eating.
"Honey?"
"Huh?"
"Did you feel good yesterday?"
"No mommy."
"How about the day before yesterday?"
"I don't know."
"How come you didn't tell mommy or daddy you weren't feeling good yesterday?"
"I don't know."
Sam set Lily on the couch and looked through the collection of children's movies that had taken over the spot that used to be host to horror films and bad comedies. Lily and Liam had made their presence known since day one and although the adjustment had been strange at first; toys everywhere, laundry every single day, sometimes twice a day, and bottles or sippy cups that seemed to multiply, the chaos turned into a routine and became comfortable and the adjustments didn't seem so big.
"What do you want to watch, sweetheart?"
Lily coughed and Sam's heart stopped. Lily looked so small and with her Cystic Fibrosis she could get sick easily. Anytime she even made a wrong move Sam was there making sure she wasn't hurt or sick. Both Freddie and his mom had told her she couldn't bring Lily in for every little sniffle or sneeze, but it didn't stop the worry. She'd been diligent and so far they'd been lucky – no serious instances, but somehow, this time felt different. Regardless, she popped Bambi into the DVD player and went back to the couch to cuddle her daughter. She sat down and wrapped the blanket that always sat on the back of their couch around Lily before pulling her onto her lap. She'd probably watched Bambi about 200 times since the twins were born, but it was still Lily's favorite movie and whenever she was under the weather she threw it in for her.
Half an hour into the movie Sam could tell things weren't getting better. It was getting worse. When Lily breathed it sounded like she was desperate for air and the dry coughing she'd been doing the last few days had turned into a disgusting mix of mucus and water. Sam tried to remain calm – doing all the things Lily's pediatrician recommended to help her breath, but when it came down to it she was panicking.
She set Lily aside and went into the bathroom. Mrs. Benson had sent over a kit with a thermometer, stethoscope, nasal aspirator (which had come in handy several times) and a mess of other things Sam had never heard of. She grabbed the entire kit and hauled it back into the living room. She had no idea how Mrs. Benson had even managed to get it over here, it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever seen. Now, though, it was her lifeline.
She sat next to Lily on the couch and opened the kit, taking out the stethoscope. The fever was already established, now she wanted to hear what was going on inside her baby girl. She lifted the back of Lily's shirt up and pressed the stethoscope to her back.
"Remember what we always do for the doctor? The big breaths? Can you do that for mommy?"
Lily tried but just ended up crying. Sam's worry grew and the panic she felt for her daughter was equal to the fear she had of scaring Lily by showing it. She threw the stethoscope aside and grabbed her phone. She quickly scrolled through her contacts, trying not to let the worry show on her face, and called Freddie.
"Mommy?"
"What baby?"
"It hurts."
"I know honey."
"Sam?" for a split second she almost regretted calling. What if it was nothing and she made Freddie leave work because she was constantly worried.
"Freddie. I think Lily needs to go to the hospital."
"Wha—Sam, I thought we talked about this!"
"Okay, please don't argue with me. I'm being serious. She's really sick!"
"Mommy," Lily continued to cry and Sam took a deep breath, trying to keep herself from crying as well. Watching her baby girl in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it was killing her.
"Please, Freddie."
Freddie sighed. Hearing Lily's cries in the background, he knew that Sam was right. "Okay. I'll be there in ten minutes. Is Liam awake?"
"Not yet, but I'm going to wake him up."
"Alright. Go get them ready. I'm leaving now."
"Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me for doing what I'm supposed to do – taking care of you and the twins. The three of you are my top priority. Besides, Alex knows she can't replace me. Now hurry up. Bye."
Sam hung up the phone and picked Lily up from the couch.
"We're going to go to the doctor, baby, and they'll take care of you okay?"
"I don't like the doctor."
"I know but they're going to give you all this good stuff so you aren't sick anymore." She set Lily back on her bed and walked across the room to Liam, who was still fast asleep. She picked him up and his eyes fluttered open.
"Good morning sunshine. Will you help mommy? We're going to go to the doctor."
"Why?"
"Because Lily doesn't feel good. How do you feel?"
"Okay."
"Nothing hurts?"
"Uh uh."
"Okay, can you go change your clothes please?" she reached into the closet and pulled out an outfit for her son. She put Liam on the floor and handed him the clothes.
"Okay mommy." he walked towards his bed and Sam grabbed Lily's clothes from the closet. She turned back to her.
"Okay baby, let's get you dressed okay?"
Lily nodded and Sam kneeled in front of her. Her whole body was warm and just seemed to get hotter by the minute. She got Lily dressed and looked at the clock. She only had five minutes until Freddie showed up and one look at Liam told her those five minutes would be precious.
"Come here little man." Liam walked over to Sam and she took his shirt off, turning it right side out and pulling it back over his head, "you're so silly," she smiled. She reached under the shelf she'd put in their room to replace the changing tables and grabbed two pairs of shoes, "come on, sit down. Let's go." Liam plopped onto the floor and Sam quickly put his shoes on him, "go sit in the living room please."
She slid Lily's shoes on and picked her up again. Lily laid her head on her mother's shoulder and although the crying had subsided she was still sniffling. She no sooner stepped out the door of the twin's room when Freddie walked into the apartment. He immediately made his way to Sam and Lily and pushed Lily's hair out of her face.
"What's wrong baby girl? Not feeling good?" Lily, who had her thumb stuck in her mouth, shook her head.
"Is Alex mad?" Sam asked, knowing she needed Freddie with her but concerned at the impact it would have on his job.
"She's not there today. And no, they aren't mad."
"I'm sorry."
"Hey. Don't apologize. I told you already the twins are more important."
"Will you grab Liam?"
Freddie turned and smiled at his son. Liam smiled back, though still half asleep, and reached his arms up to Freddie. Freddie accepted the invitation and scooped him up into his arms.
"Alright, come on."
X
"Hi there, I'm Dr. Hansen," an older man with gray hair and a balding spot plopped right in the middle of his head walked into the room and held his hand out to Freddie. He spoke in a thick Boston accent. Freddie, being the man he was, instantly shook his hand. Sam was not so interested and, instead, continued to rock Lily back and forth. The doctor smiled and looked at the little girl wrapped up in Sam's arms, "what have we got here today?"
"You're the doctor, you're supposed to tell us remember?"
"Sam,"
"I'm sorry. I'm just…"
"I know," Freddie turned back to the doctor, "she's got Cystic Fibrosis. She's been coughing a lot today and complaining that she's in pain."
"Alright well why don't you set the little lady on the table and we'll take a look at her."
Sam put Lily on the table, but remained by her side holding her small hand. This was the first time in three years they'd ever had to bring her into the hospital emergency room and she was a mess of nerves and fear waiting to find out just what was going on with her daughter.
"Alright, hi there. What's your name sweetheart?" the doctor was at eye level with Lily and the small movement made Sam more comfortable with him handling her little girl.
"Lily,"
"Oh, Lily? That's such a pretty name. Did you pick it out?"
"No. My mommy and daddy did."
"Well I think that name fits you very well, Lily. Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I don't feel good."
"Do you have a tummy ache?"
"Nuh uh."
"Okay, let me guess again. Do you have….a sore throat?"
"No."
"Okay, okay. Do you have a cough? Have you been coughing a lot?"
"Uh huh."
"Do you feel hot or cold?"
"Umm…sometimes I feel hot."
"And does it hurt when you take a big breath?"
"Uh huh."
"Okay, can I talk to your mommy and daddy a minute?"
"Yeah."
Doctor Hansen stood up again and looked from Sam to Freddie.
"How long has she felt sick?"
"I don't know, she's three, it's not like she can just come out and say she hasn't been feeling good for a week or something. All I know is that she doesn't feel good. She said she didn't feel good yesterday either. She's coughing; she's got this mucus that she keeps coughing up. She can barely breathe, especially deep enough for me to hear what's going on. She hasn't been eating as much as she usually does. She sleeps all the time. She doesn't want to play and she just looks miserable." Sam folded her arms and Freddie put his arm around her.
"Okay, and has she been throwing up at all?"
"No. She just coughs up that mucus stuff."
"When's the last time she ate?"
Sam and Freddie looked at each other and shrugged.
"Do you mean a meal or in general?"
"Both."
"Well she picked at her food at dinner last night but didn't really eat anything. The last time she ate a meal was probably a few days ago. She's just not been up to it and she's usually pretty good about it. She ate half an orange when she woke up yesterday and some crackers before bed. She hasn't really done much more than snacking really."
"What about fluids?"
"She's been drinking water like crazy but that's about it."
"Alright, well let's find out what's going on huh?" he turned back to Lily and lifted the back of her shirt up, just as Sam had done back at the apartment. He placed the stethoscope on her back.
"Can you take a big breath for me, Lily?"
Just like at the apartment she gave it a shot and gave up quickly, tears streaming down her face again. The doctor showed no concern and just moved the stethoscope out of the way.
"It sounds like there's something in her lungs that's making it difficult for her to breathe. It could be mucus or water or both. I'm thinking she has some sort of lung infection, but I'd like to take a blood sample to test."
"What? You want to stick—"
"Sam!" Sam looked at Freddie's face and then followed his gaze to Lily. She looked scared, "Sam, why don't you take Liam out to the waiting area?" she looked back at Freddie and nodded.
"Okay." She knew better than to try to stick around while they took blood from the innocent three year old. She took Liam's hand and walked out of the room with him. The doctor followed her out and walked the opposite direction.
"Mommy?"
"What honey?"
"What's a blood sample?"
"It's when they have to take some of your blood to check for sickness."
"Does it hurt?"
Sam hesitated then sighed. "No baby, it doesn't hurt."
"How come daddy wanted us to leave?"
"Because he wants to be with Lily by himself,"
"Why?"
"Just because, Liam. Please, honey, just stop asking questions." She turned around once and saw Doctor Hansen with two nurses enter the room again. She wanted to go back and hold Lily, but she had Liam and an ever-growing fear and if she went back she'd break down before they even got the needle close to her daughter.
"Come on, Liam. Let's go play in the waiting room." They had just started to walk away again when she heard Lily start screaming. It was in that moment that she could feel every ounce of pain and hurt that Lily was feeling and it tore her apart. Nobody had warned her about this part of motherhood. Nobody had told her that watching her babies in pain would take its toll on her. She needed to talk to someone.
"Liam, go play over there please." She let go of her son's hand and watched him run off to the other little boy by the toys and puzzles in the room. She sat down and pulled her cell phone out, trying to forget the screaming her little girl was doing. She scrolled through her contacts until she hit the name 'Crazy.'
"Samantha? What's wrong?"
"I—I don't know. Lily's sick and they're taking her blood and I'm about to go into panic mode. I can't do this,"
"What do you mean? How sick is she?"
"I don't know, she's just sick. It's like everything's hurting her and I can't take it away. And listening to her scream it's just—"
"Where's Freddie?"
"He's in with her. What do I do? I don't want to scare her or Liam,"
"Just stay calm, Samantha. That's all you can do."
"I can't stay calm. That's my baby,"
"I know. I had a baby once too. Then he grew up. But the fear you have for your babies will always be there. You just have to stay calm for them. Lily's probably very scared and if she sees you're scared she'll be even more scared,"
"I know. I just," she looked up to see Freddie approaching the room, "look, Freddie's coming in so I'm gonna go."
"Call me and let me know what's going on,"
"Okay, I will. Thanks Cra—Marissa." She hung up the phone and stood up. Freddie walked into the room and hugged her.
"It's okay babe, she's fine. She was more scared of the needle than hurt by it. Just relax." He kissed the top of her head.
"I can't just relax when I can hear her screaming down the hall,"
"I know. Trust me, I know. I would have given anything to switch places with her, but she's fine. She's still a little shaken up, but she keeps asking for you," he pulled away from her and looked her in the eye, "please just breathe. I know it's hard, but I know you can manage it. Especially for Lily." Sam nodded and swallowed hard. She thought they'd done everything right for Lily to keep her from this, but surprises snuck up on people and made them wonder where they went wrong. She stepped away from Freddie, holding has hand for a second before walking back down the hall to the room Lily was in. She took a deep breath, swallowing back the tears threatening to escape from behind her eyes, and entered the room. Lily was still crying and Sam instantly pulled her into her arms.
"It's okay, baby girl. It's all done now."
She stood in the middle of the room rocking Lily back and forth until the sobs subsided. She wanted to kiss away all the pain, but it wouldn't be like magic this time. She'd still be hurting.
"So did you get a cool band-aid?"
"Yeah, look." Lily held her arm out, flaunting a Dora the Explorer band-aid and a wide grin, recent tears making her brown eyes shine.
"Oh that's so cool! I want one!"
"He said only big girls get them."
"Oh, I'm not a big girl?"
Lily giggled, "Noooo, you're a mommy."
"Oh, I am? Since when?"
To see Lily smile was worth the foolishness and she'd do it anytime she had to in order to make her kids happy.
"Mommy!"
"Oh! I'm YOUR mommy?"
"Yeah!"
"Well then I must be the luckiest mommy in the world."
X
A week had passed since the hospital scare and they had waited two days to find out what was wrong. Lily was diagnosed with a lung infection and giving antibiotics to kill it off. After the third day of taking them she was back to her chipper self, and just in time, too, because it was Christmas.
It was 11:00 at night on Christmas Eve and Sam and Freddie were up in their bedroom wrapping gifts. They'd spent the last two hours wrapping and writing and hoping the twins didn't wake up. Not only were they tired from spending hours preparing for the next day, but Lily and Liam had insisted on baking more cookies than necessary for Santa. Sam contemplated just throwing them out and pretending Santa ate them all, but she'd done that last year and had been caught. Lily cried practically all day because Santa didn't like her cookies.
"Why do we buy them so much stuff?" Freddie looked over at Sam and noticed the smile playing on her lips.
"Because they're the cutest little babies in the world."
"They aren't really babies anymore, Sam. They're 3 years old. They'll be 4 in July."
"Don't remind me. What happened? I thought they were going to stay cute and little forever."
"Time?"
"Time."
"Oh my God, I swear I never want to look at another cookie again as long as I live."
"That I will agree with you on. What is with these kids?"
"Santa's gonna be real hungry when he comes to our house 'cause he'll be flying all night," Freddie imitated. Sam laughed.
"Leave it to Lily."
"She's your daughter."
"Not when she says nubby stuff like that."
"Whatever you say."
"Oh well. At least we're almost done."
"And it will be worth it when they wake up and terrorize the apartment ripping all this paper off."
"Yeah," Sam laughed, "that will be the fun part."
"No pancakes this year, Sam."
"They loved them last year."
"I didn't love chasing them around everywhere while they were covered in syrup and on some sort of sugar high."
"Oh don't lie. You loved it,"
"I love THEM, I don't love the amount of energy you insist on putting in them through anything containing sugar. It's like the older they get the older I feel."
"And you're not even 30 yet."
"Exactly!"
"Alright, well, are you done with that? Because then we can just go stick them under the tree and go to bed."
"Bed at 11:00?"
"Hey, you're not the only one getting old, Benson."
"Yeah I think I see a gray hair coming in," he laughed, reaching for Sam's hair. She smacked his hand away.
"Ha ha, that's hilarious."
"I thought it was pretty funny."
"Let's just go before they wake up and decide they want to see if Santa came yet."
"I'm following you."
X
So? Final count. Just kidding. I don't know what I'm saying. It's almost 5:00 in the morning and I'm at work. Yay. Me.
Lemme know what you think.
Hell, even the haters can voice their useless opinions. I'd love a good laugh. (I would do that at your own risk…she might not want a laugh tomorrow.-TheWrtrInMe) haha you're epic wrtr!
Love and Peace, peeps
Sam
