Well hello there. If you've been following my other writing, you may wonder why the heck I'm posting so many epilogues tonight. The truth is that (a) I want to post everything I have for this AU while I'm thinking of it, (b) I still love Not With Haste because it's a simpler and happier plot, and (c) I'm trying to make it up to the people who came for the DenNor and didn't see as much of it later on.
If you've only ever read this story of all my work, this update is for you. I feel like I should let you guys know that if you liked this AU, there are two other stories in the same vein: one is LietBel and one is RusAme, but the characters of all three of these stories intersect with each other all over the place. Whether you choose to pursue the series or not, please enjoy this oneshot I wrote to make myself happy.
"Dad?"
Lukas looks up from his paperwork. His fourteen-year-old daughter is half peeking through the door, half stepping into his office. He clears his desk and stands, noting with concern the trepidation on her face.
"Anna," he says. "What's wrong?"
As if he's turned on a switch, Anna's eyes fill with tears. "I—um—"
Without thinking, Lukas steps across the room and envelops her in his arms. He tucks her head under his chin and holds it there with one hand, as he rocks her. "Shh," he says.
Anna sniffs. She mumbles something into his chest.
"I didn't hear that," says Lukas. He's still rocking her. It's worked with her since the first day they met, at the orphanage when he and Mathias went out to adopt a child. He'd expected he would want a boy, but two-year-old Anna had fit so perfectly in his arms, and he could still swear by the tension that left them both the moment she was settled against him.
Anna moves her head to give her mouth more space. She says in one rushed, choked-up statement, "I got my words."
"…Oh." Lukas looks down on Anna's head. "Why are you crying, then?" A flash of doubt echoes through him, fueled by the perennial bad comments he receives from those who disprove of his and Mathias's adoption. Lukas was certain Anna had a positive view on soulmates, but if she's reacting this way…
"It's a lot," says Anna. She's already calming down; her voice is clearer, and the wet spot on Lukas's shirt isn't growing any larger.
"You have a lot of words?"
"No," she says, laughing minutely. "Just a lot to take in." She pulls away from Lukas's embrace and shows her forearm, already bared from the summer heat. Lukas reads it instantly, knowing that Anna learned to read a few months ago and that he doesn't have to read it aloud.
Could we dance?
Immediately his mind starts deciphering the person behind the request. This city's gatherings feature very little dancing, and the children of Anna's age would have neither the nerve nor the talent. A small piece of his memory bubbles up and he recalls all the dancing he did as a noble, all those years ago.
"Do we know any dancers, Dad?" asks Anna wryly. She's trying to slip into jokes, to cover up her settling distress. But Lukas sees in her eyes that she's still processing, still overwhelmed.
"Let's sit," he says. He gestures to the same couch he'd purchased when Anna was four years old, when Mathias went back to work and Lukas had her play patiently on the couch at the side of the room as he filled out the paperwork for the port. Mathias sits there on the occasional visit, but in spirit it's his and Anna's place.
Anna nods and settles herself. Her dress, newly lengthened to match her growth, catches under her feet, and she shuffles as Lukas rummages in a nearby drawer. He emerges with a bar of chocolate.
"No need to tell Papa," he says. "I'll bring one home later." He opens the parchment paper and breaks a chunk off of the bar for Anna. She takes it and nibbles at it, looking down and at the arm with her words.
"Does Papa know about the words?" asks Lukas when Anna doesn't respond.
Anna looks up at him. "Not yet. Come on, Dad, you remember what happened when I told him about my first bleeding. You need to know first so you can calm him down."
Lukas snorts in sympathy. Last year, when Anna bled for the first time, she told Mathias first. Mathias responded with a sort of mad panic wherein he dashed to the nearest three markets and obtained the softest, cleanest linens he could find along with several sorts of berries (Anna's favorites) and two bars of chocolate. Lukas hadn't even had the heart to scold his husband for using up the rest of that week's budget. Not when he could barely understand that his daughter was a woman, let alone a woman living in a family of men.
"He'll be excited," says Lukas.
"Are you?" asks Anna.
Lukas pauses. "I'm waiting to see what you think about this."
"I'm…" Having finished her chocolate, Anna plays with a loose string on her sleeve. "I'm excited. A little scared."
Lukas nods.
"I just—I always knew you and Papa were soulmates. And Uncle Tino and Uncle Berwald, and Uncle Emil and Uncle Kaoru. And you're all happy. But this—this one is mine." She waves her left arm. "I get one too."
"And that's scary?" Lukas clarifies.
"What if he's a noble?" asks Anna. "What if he can't be with me?" Her eyes widen. "What if he doesn't like me?"
Lukas blinks. "I was a noble."
"…You?" Anna blinks.
"Didn't we tell you? You asked for the story so many times—"
"When I was little," says Anna. "I thought you were a merchant. Just richer than Papa."
Lukas shakes his head. "No," he says. "I was a noble. Then I left. That's why your Uncle Emil is a lord—he volunteered to be. So Papa and I could be together."
"I…guess I never really thought about it." Anna looks at Lukas re-appraisingly. "So when did you get your words?"
"A few years older than you. Seventeen or so."
"Did Papa know he was writing to a lord?"
"I don't think he cared who I was. I don't think yours will care either."
"You don't know that." Despite herself, Anna's voice grows a little thicker. "And even if he did, I'd miss you and Papa. I know Papa took you away—what if my soulmate takes me away too? Without letting me say goodbye?"
Lukas suddenly recalls a strikingly similar situation. For a moment, he sees Emil's face looking up at him instead of Anna's.
"Uncle Emil had the same concerns," says Lukas. "But Uncle Kaoru didn't take him away, did he?"
"No. Except for Christmas."
"And Uncle Emil asked him then. On top of that, your papa never took me anywhere I didn't want to go." Lukas leans a little closer to his daughter. "That's why you're soulmates—you're meant to be there for one another."
"Peter says not all soulmates are."
"Peter had a bad past. Many people do. But he has a good present, don't you think? With Uncle Berwald and Uncle Tino?"
"Because they're soulmates."
"Because they love each other and they love him. Just like Papa and I love you."
Anna is quiet for a moment. "Do you think my soulmate will be upset if I tell him I can't dance?"
Lukas is so taken off guard that he laughs a little. "I don't think he will be upset. And I can always teach you. If you want."
"If he wants," says Anna.
Lukas looks at his daughter. As their conversation progresses, she's been looking more lost in thought. Lukas knows the thoughtful expression on her face. He wore it himself.
"When I first got my words," he says, and Anna looks up, "I was relieved. I thought my soulmate was dead, or that he didn't care. But he did. He was just taking longer than I thought."
"I…feel relieved too," says Anna. "I want to love somebody the way you love Papa."
"Good. Then you're already halfway to a happy ending. Most people only want to be loved, not to love."
"What about you? When you got your words?"
"I just wanted your papa. Not even to love him, just to have him there."
"Me too," says Anna. She nods decisively. "I want to meet him."
"Then you'll have to know how to dance."
Before Lukas can register it, Anna has stood. She holds out a hand to him, obviously inviting him onto an imaginary dance floor in his office. Her face has always been predisposed to smiling, but at this moment her smile shines like the sun after a thunderstorm.
For the first time, Lukas realizes that that smile could go to someone else.
He takes her hand.
"I lead," he says. "I'll take your right hand with my left, and you place your arm on my shoulder."
Anna obeys, smiling wider. She hums a cheery tune that Mathias enjoys, and although the beat is wrong for the dance Lukas is trying to teach, he steps to it as best he can. Anna follows his feet as carefully as possible, her head bowed in concentration.
Lukas looks down at his daughter. Her light brown hair is in braids, carefully done by Berwald a few days ago. She moves as steadily as Tino and laughs as heartily as Mathias. She has Emil's sense of concentration and steadfastness, and from Kaoru she's learned how to argue her opinion and her will. From Lukas she gained a clear head and every piece of his heart that wasn't reserved for Emil or Mathias.
Lukas slows their dance and wraps his arms around her again.
"Dad," Anna intones playfully. But despite herself, she relaxes.
Anna will know her soulmate, Lukas thinks. She'll know just the same way Lukas knew she would be his daughter. She'll understand just like Lukas did how it feels to catch one set of blue eyes out of dozens, to be reached out to without even a word, to feel every tension ebb away when they touch at last. To know that no matter what man or law has to say, this girl is Lukas's.
Lukas tightens his hold and then releases. He looks at Anna, who smiles gently back.
He'll give her up when she's ready to leave, and not a moment sooner.
