Whoa, STILL, didn't expect any reviews and yet here they come yay I wuvs u ppl! cyber hugs I feel slightly inspired by the bleach musical I saw, yes ppl there IS bleach musical, and yes IT DOES have PAIRINGS!!!! (Gasp) surprising isn't it? Hell, GIN, AIZEN AND BYAKUYA SING LOLZ and Ikkaku performs his…LUCKY DANCE YAYZ1 well if you wanna watch it look for it on Youtube, well anyways, in this chapter, I'm not going to get the espada to the beach yet, just antics on the plane before they get there, after you read this chapter, I'm sure you'll agree I couldn't miss this out XD
Ulquiorra was propped up against his arm near the window; he was still unconscious and Grimmjow was nice enough to make it look like his sleeping. (But really, he didn't Ulquiorra to unconscious on his lap; it would be very very awkward) Eventually, Grimmjow got bored and began pressing random glowing buttons in the side of his chair. He was greeted by a busty woman in a green and white uniform, who was smiling…kinda like Gin, which freaked him out.
"Hello sir, is there anything wrong? I'll be glad to help your ride on our aircraft much more enjoyable!" she said; she sounded like a tape recorder… Grimmjow looked at her up and down with a "wtf" face.
"Who the fuck are you?" The lady's smile softened,
"I'm one of the many flight attendants on this aircraft; I'm here to help make your ride an enjoyable trip!"
Grimmjow processed the newly accommodated information (lol big words XD) and looked at the attendant suspiciously "So…could you get me a muffin?" The lady bowed
"Of course, I'll be with you again in a second!" The lady quickly walked away. Literally half a second later (but who was counting?) the flight attendant came back holding a bran muffin, a plastic knife and a small sachet of butter. Grimmjow took the items and stared at them, then the still smiling lady. In Hueco Mundo, he was always accustomed to have said items already prepared, so to say, he expected the butter to already be on the muffin, he also didn't actually know how to put butter on the muffin. Grimmjow looked at the items with a confused look on his face, then looked up sceptically at the flight attendant, who was still standing there, grin still in place.
"Is there anything else you would like me to do sir?" She asked noticing Grimmjow's confused face.
"Yeah…could you, quite possibly butter my muffin?" He asked. The flight attendant's smile dropped and she blushed a deep red hue. Ulquiorra was woke up by the sound of a slap and the shriek of "YOU PERVERTED PIG!!!" The embarrassed flight attendant walked off to the attendants' cabin. Grimmjow rubbed his cheek, which was bright red and in the shape of a hand. He muttered "Bitch" under his breath and glared at all the snickering passengers. Grimmjow turned and stared at his partner, who was glaring at him profusely. "What?" Grimmjow growled. "What did you do…" Ulquiorra asked in an icy tone. Grimmjow stopped rubbing his face and looked up thoughtfully. He turned to Ulquiorra, "Now that I think about it…all I did was ask her to butter my muffin…" "What's wrong with that?" The people sat behind them sniggered and spoke in rapid German (ALL GERMANESE PPL OUT THERE TELL ME IF I GOT ANYTHING WRONG D
"(1)Oh mein, was dumme Leute, die sie gar nicht wissen, was "meine Muffins Butter" bedeutet, ich wette sie sind Waisen!" One of them said laughing heartily; the other shook her head in disapproval
"(2) Aber Derk, das ist nicht eine nette Sache zu sagen, ich meine, sie, sie sehen aus wie sie gerade zwanzig!" The man or "Derk" quickly glanced over at Ulquiorra and Grimmjow; Grimmjow was still rubbing his face, but Ulquiorra was looking at them through the corner of his eye.
"(3)HA Unsinn, sie verstehe kein Wort, das wir sagen, für die Güte willen, wir sprechen Deutsch haben sie wahrscheinlich nicht einmal gehört, der Sprache, hier schauen," The lady watched her partner unsurely as he tapped Ulquiorra's shoulder. Ulquiorra turned around and looked at them, not exactly glaring or staring, just somewhere in the middle.
"May I help you?" He asked politely. 'Derk' nodded "All you have to do is listen to this short sentence, I just want to prove something to my wife here," he said with a thick german accent, pointing at the lady next to him. The man's wife was shaking her head and had an apologetic look on her face. Ulquiorra hned; Grimmjow watched with mild interest. Derk cleared his voice then, "(4)Sie sind Esel vergewaltigen Stück Scheiße, und Sie haben kein Leben, und Sie und Ihre bum Kumpel drüben wahrscheinlich Schraube jeweils anderen Gehirnen, jeden Abend, bevor Sie zu einer anderen fuck Esel!!!" The wife gasped and hid her face, which was reddening by the second. Ulquiorra didn't say anything; Derk looked triumphant and turned back to his wife "Sehen? Ich habe Ihnen gesagt, die sie nicht verstehen!!!"
Ulquiorra closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he opened his eyes and looked at the man, his stare deepened into a glare "(5) Was macht Ihrer Meinung nach, dass ich nicht verstehen Deutsch? Wenn Sie nicht wissen, ich bin ursprünglich Deutsch und für die Liebe zu Gott stoppen peinlich infront Sie für Ihre Frau, es ist respektlos, Gott, du machst mich krank mit dem Gestank verfault, das ich nicht beleidigt mein Geist Sie ein Idiot Freund hier, aber, wenn Sie jemals spew Worte flith wie vor werde ich mich wieder zerreißen Ihre fucking Bälle aus und schieben sie Hals? OK? Du hast das? Du Stück Scheiße" with that, Ulquiorra punched him hard in the nose (ouch poor old man XD but he deserved it Ulquiorra is not a donkey raping piece of shit for god sake) The wife rolled her eyes and began apologizing repeatedly at Ulquiorra for her husband, who began bleeding onto his chair. Ulquiorra sniffed and turned around, to be met with the grinning face of Grimmjow; although his (Grimmjow's) left cheek had started to swell, giving the impression that he was a large blue-headed chipmunk.
"What?" Ulquiorra growled, slightly irritated by Grimmjow's grin
"Nice punch, when did you learn Germanese?" (yes Grimmjow probably does have the attention span of me XD) Ulquiorra leaned on his arm and looked out the airplane window. "I dunno, always knew, I just never had the chance to use German before now," "oh, so what'd you say?" Grimmjow asked hopefully, I mean come on that statement probably had to the longest thing Ulquiorra's ever said. Ulquiorra shook his head.
"Aww come on tell me!" Grimmjow whined; it was bad enough being on a stuffy airplane with bad services. Ulquiorra shook his head and just remembered the muffin sat on Grimmjow's pull out table.
"Look I'll tell you when we get off, now do you want me to butter your damn muffin or not?" he said holding the muffin in his hands.
"Oh yeah…fine" Ulquiorra grabbed the knife and little sachet of butter. "Hey, wait, do you hear that?" Ulquiorra asked putting down the muffin. "No, what are you-"
"oh my god It's them!" A random girl shouted
"OH MY GOD THEY'RE COSPLAYERS!!!" another screamed
"their cosplays are so awesome, they look so realistic!"
"do you think they're really gonna do it?" "OOOH I HOPE SO"
"who do you think is gonna be the uke?"
"I think the emo kid is!" The espada looked to the side and saw a horde of blushing girls, who were muttering about what seemed to be something about "Yaoi". God forbid, Ulquiorra dropped the knife and bent over, undoing his belt so he could reach further. Damn it was restricting. This, mistaken by the random Yaoi fangirls, made them think that he was bending over for Grimmjow to…well…yeah…AHEM as much as I'd like to describe what I meant, I can't, I'm being watched…. Yeah anyways, the girls squealed and started pushing to get infront. Grimmjow liked the attention and sort of smirked at them, making them go crazy…er. Meanwhile, Ulquiorra; oblivious to the attention that his butt and Grimmjow were attracting, pawed around under the other seat for the knife. He saw it, but couldn't reach it so he shifted a little to the right; his butt kinda wriggled in the air (WOW I cannot imagine that ever happening, like Ulquiorra just randomly wriggling his butt, although that would be awesome, p.s. I am one of the crazy fangirls XD) giving off the wrong impression to the girls, who once again screamed louder. Ulquiorra just noticed the screaming and felt something hit his arse. He quickly drew back up looking around awkwardly, know holding the muffin, knife and sachet of butter.
"oh my god, he's got such an awesome stoic face"
"I know sqee, do you seriously think they're gonna do it?" Grimmjow was babbling a lot and shouting at the girls, whom ignored what he said and just squealed louder "HE TOUCHED IT HE TOUCHED ULQUIORRA'S BUTT SQEEEEEEE!!!!" (probably meh, or my friend XD p.s. just so were clear, these are BLEACH fangirls, they obviously know the characters names, but since they think that they are both cosplayers, they don't know them so the fangirls just use Ulquiorra and Grimmjow as an alternative ) Eventually the girls were pulled back to their seats by the flight attendants. Grimmjow chuckled nervously and felt a murderous reiatsu next to him. Grimmjow turned around robotically. "Grimmjow…" Ulquiorra growled. Ulquiorra drew the curtains round their seats; a couple minutes later, Grimmjow's yelling was heard on the aircraft, along what some war sounds effects like BLOOOM and crashing. Once again the fangirls got it wrong, but squealed as they imagined what could've happened while they weren't there, they were all wrong anyways.
WITH NNOITORA AND PINKY, I'm sorry I mean SZAYEL
Nnoitora had his hair in pigtails at each side of his head; uneven duh, and was suffering through the long tales of floopy the bunny, the little girl's bunny. The little kids had somehow managed to steal their mum's make up, and forced it onto Nnoitora's face, making him, look like…a clown…a pretty clown D. Szayel just watched, amused by Nnoitora's manliness being slowly destroyed by two little children.
"And this is from when floopy eated too much cake on his birthday and threw up over himself!!!" The girl said proudly, showing Nnoitora a picture of a rabbit being sick on a piece of cake. Nnoitora cringed at the picture and swatted it away. Szayel sniggered but the little girl frowned, she was pushed then away by her brother, who was holding a clear jar that had holes in the lid and lot of leaves in it. Nnoitora squinted at it "Is that-" he began "Yup it's my pet grasshopper, Jasper!" Nnoitora tapped the side of the jar, mildly entertained when a brown green thing jumped at the sound. Nnoitora carried on tapping the side of the jar, smirking at the grasshopper's quick movements. The little boy noticed and so did Szayel, who scratched the bridge of his nose. The boy nodded and looked at Nnoitora and the jar
"Say Whale-san, I think jasper likes you! You wanna hold him?" Nnoitora shrugged
"Sure, why not?" He'd probably forgotten that he had his hair in bunches and was wearing…make up. The boy jammed his hand into the jar and pulled out the wriggling insect, obviously not carefully, he forced it into Nnitora's hand. Szayel coughed and the girl nodded as well. She screamed loudly and started to frantically try and get away from Jasper. Nnoitora lost his grip on the bug and it fell…into his PANTS!!! (dun dun dun!!!!) Nnoitora stood up suddenly and started shouting swear words; Szayel whipped out a camera and took a picture of Nnoitora getting attacked by the bug. Smirking, Szayel looked at the picture triumphantly, It had Nnoitora with his arms in the air, left leg bent, right leg in the air, mouth open in disgust and narrowed eyes, all in all, it was a pretty hilarious pose, plus the make up and hair didn't do any help either. Szayel tucked the camera away into his pocket, as Nnoitora done some kind of Raindance, with the bug in his pants. Passengers; bored outta their minds, clapped some kinda of rhythm that went with Nnoitora's rain dance/Get-this-fucking-piece-of-shit-bug-outta-my-pants dance. The pilot's voice came on cue "Good morning ladies and gentleman, we should landing this aircraft in about 5 hours, please make use of this time to relax, sit back and enjoy the ride" Nnoitora shouted "FUCK YOU!!!" to the pilot who obviously couldn't hear it, then hit his head came him drowsy, he was still trying to get the bug out. Truth was, the boy also put some ants in his pants when he weren't looking.
Szayel pushed a couple of notes and bills into the boy's hand who smiled an innocent smile and pulled his sister, who smiled at Szayel also, back to their parents. "Cool we made ¥500 already, we so rule!" Was the last thing the boy said, before dodging Nnoitora and walking back through the curtain, Szayel heard the girl giggle, which sent a shiver up his spine, it was very creepy.
HOW'S ABOUT DAT DEN? I PROMISE THEY'LL REACH THE BEACH IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OK? I JUST NEEDED TO WRITE THIS SOMEWHERE X3 IT SEEMED TO FUNNY, especially since our form prefect knows what Bleach and Expo are XD WELL YEAH ANYWAYS, HERE ARE THE TRANSLATIONS BETWEEN TE GERMAN COUPLE AND ULQUIORRA 8D
Oh my, what stupid people! They don't even know what "butter my muffin "means, I bet they are orphans!
But Derk, that's not a nice thing to say, I mean they look like they have just turned twenty
HA nonsense, they do not understand a word we say, for goodness sake, we speak German, they have probably not even heard the language, look here
You are donkey raping pieces of shit, and you have no life, and you and your bum buddy over there probably screw each other's brains every night before going to another fuck ass!
What makes you think that I do not understand German? If you do not know, I am originally german and for the love of God stop embarrassing yourself infront of your wife, it's disrespectful, God, you make me sick with your putrid stench, i do not mind you insulting my idiot of a friend here, But if you ever spew words of filth like that in front of me again I will rip your fucking balls off and shove them down your throat? OK? You got that? You piece of shit
Ha ha ha ha swearing in a different language is fun YAYZ XD well R&R STILL SORRY FOR THE WHOLE NOT AT THE BEACH YET THINGY p.s. OMFG I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I SAW ULQUIORRA WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I HUGGED THE SCREEN AND MY MUM SAW AND STARED AT ME LIKE WTF? XD best day eva lol
