Author's Note: Hello, sorry to interrupt the lecture to whoever wants to read, just wanted to say that this is going to be a long chaptered fic and a slow burn one. I hope it can seem realistic like this. Sorry if you'll find mistakes. Or any italian words, it's because I'm, well, italian. I hope you enjoy it, right now comments and reviews would really be appreciated, I need to know if you like the story or if I can do something to improve it somehow. I'll update as much in a short time as I can. Thank you, Thank you Thank you very much for having taken the time to read it. Have a lovely day!
. . .
Idiot n. 1 and Moron n. 1
The ride to head to the Shinsengumi barracks was going rather smoothly, until-
"I said don't touch anything! Didn't you hear me?" Hijikata reprimanded him annoyed when Gintoki tried to open the window, after being cramped up in the car with the smoke from the other man's cigarette filling up the air. Not that he minded the smell anyway, but he wasn't good with sitting still for long periods of time.
"You've been clogging up the car with smoke, I just want a bit of fresh air! The other occupant of this vehicle agrees with me!" Gintoki defended his position.
"No! He doesn't!"
"Yes, he does!"
They glared at each other then turned back to look at the last occupant of the vehicle.
"-right idiot n. 2?"
"-right moron n. 2?"
They had spoken at the same time.
They looked at each other and then turned away. They were pissed, even if n. 2 didn't answer they had proved once again that their way of thinking was very similar, and the fact that they knew that idiot n. 1 and moron n. 1 were also the names for each other didn't exactly help. Gintoki looked out of the window while Hijikata was looking straight ahead with his hands on the wheel. There was a strange tension in the air, usually they'd be at each other's throats in a second but now they were forced to cooperate and it wasn't fun.
But the tension wasn't only caused by the current situation. Gintoki discreetly massaged the patch of skin on his arm that had come in contact with Hijikata's just yesterday. It wasn't uncommon for them to be touching, really, they were rivals and they got in all kinds of fights and what not. But in the end they always did what they did for a certain reason, they always had a purpose they accomplished.
But this... this sensation somehow felt different, it didn't really have a reason. Gintoki remembered the feeling of his skin brushing against the smooth fabric of the moron's jacket and it was, well, it had been warm. He had blamed it on the temperature then and when he had looked back at Hijikata, he had seen his surprised expression. He saw the way Hijikata's eyes had widened, he looked like he was about to go on one of his angry rants but Gintoki had been out with Kagura, Shinpachi and Sadaharu and he simply wanted to enjoy their time together without any more interruptions, so he just glanced at Hijikata in a way that said 'let it go', and...
Surprisingly Hijikata had. Gintoki had not expected that.
Even after getting to the restaurant, eating a nice dessert and basically just being his idiotic self with his kids, the feeling still didn't go away, his forearm tingled. Only when he got home and took a long, hot shower did it subside a bit.
He put the whole thing in the back of his mind inside a box labeled DO NOT OPEN, where he put all the stuff he didn't want to talk or think about, but seeing the moron again had made him think about it and it wasn't fair! And because of the tense silence he was nervous and in these cases he had to do something or he would start fidgeting anxiously, so he did the best thing he could think of. He started talking.
"So, what did this guy do to finish behind the bars?"
"That's classified infromation." Hijikata answered irritably, but with less anger than before. Maybe he was feeling the tension, too.
"I think I have a right to know, I am going to be the witness after all." Gintoki grumbled.
Hijikata let out a little puff of smoke with hesitation, because he never knew what would happen with the idiot around. After a few more moments spent in a silent debate with himself and against his better judgement he decided to tell him.
"He is part of a gang, the Yokumimozima. It's a newly formed group that has been going around Oedo lately. At first they committed petty crimes, pickpocketing and the like, but when they started using illegal substances the situation escalated. They got involved with amanto of other planets and we found out that the effects we detected in the drugs can be dangerous to humans. Though this idiot here is one of the little fish he has all the information about the other members, their clients, when will the next exchange occur and so on."
Well, this was baffling. Normally Hijikata was good at what he did, when something was confidential he never talked about it, with anyone. But given the circumstances, after a long week of taking turns in helping with the tracking down, eating the bland food that Zaki brought him for the most part and sleeping uncomfortably on the floor, if he was able to sleep at all, this felt almost- dare he say it- relieving. He couldn't help but feel like this after having taken care of an important job, going back to report and then finally be able to have a real meal after what felt like years. And it really didn't matter that he was here with the Yorozuya idiot, so far he had been an annoyance but not a really detestable one, which must be some kind of record for him or something.
Hearing Hijikata speak so calmly was different. Usually he would be yelling orders or insults back and forth, but now it was almost like Gintoki was seeing a different person.
"Hmm, I see." Was his only answer.
While these thoughts overwhelmed him a bit Gintoki tried to relax against the cushioned, passenger seat. He reached for the radio to listen to something, for lack of anything better to do, as he was fiddling with it and trying to set it on a song he liked Hijikata caught sight of him and with one hand he grabbed the chain that was binding together the cuffs, pulling it downwards.
"What part of 'don't. touch. anything.' don't you understand!? Is it so difficult for that stupid brain of yours?"
"I'm bored! I've been in a car with two morons for the past five minutes, if I don't do something my head's gonna explode! And it can't explode because I need my head!"
"Shut up and stop it!" Hijikata yelled while adjusting his grip on the steering wheel and grabbing the idiot by the hair with the hand that was holding the restraints.
"Ouch-ch-ch, what are you doing!? Oi! Gin-San's hair is very important, let go immediately!" Gintoki yelled back, yanking some of Hijikata's hair with the hand that wasn't preoccupied with trying to defend his head from going bald.
"Ack! What the hell are you doing!? Get your filthy hands off my hair!"
"That's my line, asshole!"
And like that they somehow survived the ride together, literally, because during the hair pulling they almost made more than one accident, the car going in irregular zig-zag motions. After they finally arrived at their destination Gintoki threw himself out of the vehicle and hugged the concrete.
"I'm never going to ride in a car with you ever again! I could have died!"
"What a cry baby, it was just a swing here and there." Hijikata scoffed, looking the epitome of tranquility.
'Bastard.' Gintoki thought annoyed while still fearing for his life.
When Hijikata went to open the backdoor of the car he found idiot n. 2 starting to wake up. Well, it seemed car rides with Hijikata really did wonders to bring you back from the land of unconsciousness.
Then n. 2 spoke. "W-Where am I? It feels like I was run over multiple times, with two jerks trying to kill me by arguing and grabbing their hair, in a car full of smoke from too many cigarettes."
"See, I told you he agreed with me!" Gintoki felt smug after the smoke part.
"Oi! That's a bit too accurate for someone who was out cold the entire time! Were you awake? Do you want me to put you to sleep again!? Haah!?" Hijikata was pissed again, idiot n. 2 really did agree with idiot n.1. Life was just unfair. (Author's Note: yeah, that's what he is angry about, figures, don't try to understand Gintama characters too much, you'll lose your minds.)
Anyway, back to the point. Hijikata called his subordinates to come and collect the criminal and take him to the interrogation room, along with Kondo and Sougo.
"Ah Yorozuya, good to see you! What brings you here?" Kondo exclaimed happily while slapping hard one of Gintoki's shoulders, followed by his boisterous laugh.
"Gorilla, you owe me. I'm here just because one of your men handcuffed me and brought me here against my will." Gintoki answered, raising his wrists to prove his point.
"I had no other choice, he was the only witness." Hijikata told Kondo, looking almost apologetic, that the other samurai was going to waste their time not that he had handcuffed him.
"You don't arrest witnesses bastard!" Gintoki countered.
"It was the only way to convince you to come and make you stay out of troubles asshole! Although it didn't help much with the car ride." Hijikata muttered the last part.
"I told you it wasn't my fault, it's trouble's, he always comes knocking at my door even if I tell him not to!"
Hijikata frowned. "Since when is trouble a person? And why a male?
"Everyone knows trouble is a male and bitch is a female." Gintoki answered matter-of-factly.
"...what a moronic idiot." Came Hijikata's response, completely unimpressed.
"Guys, guys, calm down, ahahahah! Let's all have a drink after this, what do you say?" Kondo interjected with his usual optimism.
Gintoki shrugged. "Only if you pay for that Gorilla."
Hijikata's eyebrow twitched. "Stop calling him like that, you disrespectful piece of-"
"Who are you to tell me what to do!? I call whoever I want the way I want! That's part of my Bushido, Ogushi-Kun!"
"Who would even believe that?! And who the actual fuck is Ogushi?!"
Sougo, who had been observing the scene the entire time, positioned himself between the two raging rivals and made a key appear out of nowhere.
"Don't worry Danna, I've got the situation under control." He said in a monotone as he put the little key inside the lock and gave it a twist, and like that the metal fell.
"Finally Sofa-Kun, I thought my wrists were going to fall off." Gintoki looked in relief at his saviour.
"It's Sougo, Danna. And Hijikata-San was never known for being a well-mannered Vice Commander, you should see how he treats his subordinates." Sougo nodded at him, an air of dejection surrounding him.
Gintoki shook his head sympathetically. "I have a feeling I already know, how can you stand him all day?"
The Captain sighed dramatically before answering. "I don't know. It's a promise I made to myself, I guess. Even if I was tortured, spit on and worked like a slave, I would still continue to follow my orders through, just so the Vice-Chief could find peace and somebody to lean on during the hard times." He whispered with the kindest voice he could muster, coupled with his most innocent look while internally he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
"Now that is something to admire, maybe your Vice Commander should learn something from this instead of treating you all like crap. Don't you think so, Ogushi-Kun?" Gintoki asked as he was holding his laughter inside and looking at Hijikata with a mixture of mocking and evilness, Sougo following in his footsteps.
"What was that?! Stop conspiring with each other you idiots! And you Sougo, how do you have the keys to my handcuffs? I am the only one in possession of those!" Hijikata called out to them.
His subordinate just turned to the other side whistling. All the while everyone was ignoring Kondo who was crying on the side, reminding them of something akin to a waterfall, and saying something along the lines of "our little Sougo, kids these days grow up so fast but they don't forget the promises they have made to their parents". He continued to sob hysterically.
After things calmed down a bit they finally went inside the barracks. Gintoki was rubbing his wrists, he hadn't been really joking about that, the cuffs were so tight that a thin, red line was starting to form on them. They went inside the headquarters, turned a few hallways here and there, and arrived in a room that contained only a table and a few seats on the center, the walls a shining shade of white. They sat the thug alone while Sougo, Hijikata, Kondo, Gintoki and another bald officer, who had some papers and a pen, all sat on the opposite side.
Then the interrogation began, with Kondo taking the lead. "It states here that your name is Mizuki Yamada and you were born on-" Gintoki didn't hear that bit as he was moving about, trying to find a comfortable spot on the stupid, uncomfortable chair. "-is that correct?"
"And why should I answer to any of you scums? After Aniki gets here you're all going to be dead!" The uncivilized idiot spat.
Hijikata was on him in a second with his most menacing glare. "Be careful what you say scum or you won't find that head of yours attached to your shoulders anymore." He whispered in a dangerous tone.
"Calm down Toshi, there's no need for that, alright?" Kondo told him calmly, unfazed by the words. Hijikata scoffed and let go of the collar of the criminal, falling in his seat again.
Sougo had tensed for a moment too, it was just a minuscule tightening in his shoulders, but Gintoki had caught it all the same. Sometimes he forgot how much these tax-robbers were willing to do for their Commander and their team. Even a blind man could see the bond that united them and Gintoki supposed it was a bit like this for him too with his kids, that giant dog and the old hag. So maybe that was why he started relaxing and this interrogation didn't seem such a hassle anymore.
They continued and this time their questions were given some answers, maybe because Moron n. 1 had scared Moron n. 2 shitless. And Sougo's bazuka beside him probably helped too. After half an hour it was Gintoki's turn to speak and he didn't know how to feel about that. He had always thought that if he ever would be under an interrogation it would be because he did something wrong and not as a simple witness, but here he was now and he wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it.
Kondo directed his attention to him. "Your name is Gintoki Sakata and your age is- (A/N: I'm sure everyone has a different idea about Gintoki's age, so let's keep it that way) -your current occupation is the founder of the Odd Jobs in the Kabuki district. Is that correct?"
"Yep." Gintoki drawled, leaning back on his chair and keeping the balance on its two feet only. Okay, he knew that this was supposed to be some kind of formal thing and all of that, and he had just discovered that baldy over there was writing down everything they said, but he was Sakata Gintoki, he did things his own way and if people didn't agree with his methods then well, they shouldn't be asking him for help in the first place. And he was too tired to be serious. He didn't care about Hijikata's slight frown during his answer. Not one bit. The fact that he had noticed in the first place didn't mean anything either, he was just a very observant person.
"And where were you when the criminal was captured?" The Gorilla continued.
"I was reading my Jump. After having spent hours in trying to find it." Gintoki put emphasis on the last sentence, looking pointedly at Hijikata out of the corner of his eye and trying to make him feel at least a little bit guilty.
It didn't work.
"But let me tell you, it was worth it." He continued with a smirk at the memory, hoping he could read it soon.
Kondo gasped. "No! Were you able to get your hands on the newest one? I searched all day but didn't find it anywhere!"
"Gori, you have no idea what happens to Luffy, and let me tell ya... you're not going to like it one bit." Gintoki whispered the last part in his most serious tone, the news of the pirate still hanging heavily in his mind.
"Now I have to know! Please tell me Yorozuya! Please!" Kondo begged.
Someone cleared their throat. The room was divided in two sides, either embarrassed people for their Commander (Mayora and baldy) or people bored out of their minds (Soichirou-Kun and Moron-Kun).
It was Hijikata, who also facepalmed after hearing the words come out of the perm head's mouth, that spoke. "Kondo-san, please..."
"Ahahah, sorry! We'll talk about this later." Gori-er- Kondo rubbed the back of his head apologetically. "So, can you tell us exactly what you saw?"
"As I was close to the-"
"Hey! We said no more of that!" Hijikata interrupted him.
"How did you know what I was going to say?" Gintoki asked surprised, he was in fact going to talk about the Love Ru chapter, how did Hijikata know? Then he gasped. Was Hijikata an esper?!
"Everyone knows you talk bullshit like Jump and sweets all the time!"
Gintoki gaped. Hijikata just insulted his two precious miracles. "You should wash your mouth with soap! Never insult any of these two miracles in my presence ever again!" He slammed a hand on the table, fed up with the idiot.
"What miracles?! They're just distractions that make you lose focus on what you should do! And sweets make you gain weight!" Hijikata slammed his palm on the desk too, just as annoyed.
"Are you calling me fat?! I have more muscles in my middle finger than you will ever have in all your body!" Then he proceeded to flip him off, which irated the raven haired man that much more.
"You bastard! I'll show you all the muscles in my fist!" They were trying to get to each other and bash their skulls in but luckily Kondo and baldy came to their rescue while the thug seemed amused by it all and Sougo was snickering and taking a few pictures all the while, probably for blackmail material. After some time in which Kondo somehow talked them out of it, the interrogation resumed again.
Gintoki continued. "As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted-" Hijikata was about to stand up again from his chair but Kondo put a hand on his shoulder and he reluctantly took his place again. "-I was simply doing what I always do, minding my own business and being a good civilian."
A scoff was heard, it was not difficult to imagine who it belonged to.
"When suddenly..." Gintoki's eyes widened as he raised his voice. "I was run over by a huge moron!" His story took a dramatic turn. Well, at least to him.
"Hey!" The spike-haired guy protested.
Everyone ignored him.
"That had been hit by another huge moron!"
"Oi!" Hijikata protested too.
Kondo was gasping like this was some amazing action movie.
"And then I was on the ground, I hit my head and I probably have a concussion right now! You're going to pay for my hospital bill by the way, and then I saw that the Demonic Vice Commander had punched him in the face." This actually didn't help that much. Even he knew that, even if Kondo was still on the edge of his seat dying to know what had happened next. Gintoki then added the second part. "But before all of this I had caught a glimpse of Zababulayara-Kun-"
"It's Mizuki! How the heck did you mess up my name that bad!? And does someone called like that even exist?!" The moron had the audacity to interrupt Gintoki too, the light haired samurai shook his head at him but he went on. "-threatening with a knife some civilians, ready to stab them if they didn't give him their money. But the Vice-Commander here saw the scene and defended those innocent people with his bare hands, managing to keep everyone safe."
To say Hijikata was surprised would be an understatement. Even Sougo was caught off guard and Kondo stared at Hijikata in awe, as if he had never seen him do anything heroic before. The dark haired man had thought that the Yorozuya might go off into one of his idiotic ramblings to get himself out of this, and maybe even make him look like the bad guy, but instead he told what had really happened. Hijikata hadn't thought Gintoki had seen that much.
"Very well then, thank you for your time Sakata-San, we appreciate it." Kondo grinned then turned to his subordinate, they said a few things to each other and baldy and Kurmiko-whatever-Kun were gone.
To be honest Gintoki had really seen all of that, but he hadn't wanted to say anything, he just acted like everything was normal. Because in truth, as much as he had immersed himself in it, he hadn't been able to focus on his Jump. Not even the newest chapter of Naruto and it had never happened before. He just wanted to wait until the rain let up and go home but after seeing Hijikata there, it had done something to him. So in the end he decided to behave like a 'good' citizen and tell what had happened.
Gorilla then turned to him and gave him another hard 'pat' on his shoulder and if it had been any other person their arm would probably be dislocated by now. "Ahah, great job Yorozuya! I wouldn't expect any less from you. And now how about we go have those drinks? My offer! We could go, mmh, let's see... maybe to the bar Tae-Chan works at? Eheh, I heard the snacks and alcohol are really good there." He said with a weird, perverted expression on his face and became red, almost like a tomato.
'Ah, so this was his plan all along.' Gintoki thought unimpressed. He would probably never admit it, but he had a soft spot for Otae, he considered her like a sister, she was Shinpachi's sister after all, and he would wouldn't let the Gorilla harass her. She would probably punch him into the next continent anyway before Gintoki could even step in, but still, it was the thought that counted.
Sougo decided this was the perfect moment to step in. "Sorry Kondo-San, but we can't do that. Did you forget that Mastudaira-San is coming today to revisit our plan for next week's raid? We have to stay here."
"Oh, it's true! I had forgotten all about it! I'm sorry Sakata, maybe next time..." Gori looked very disappointed as he apologized.
Gintoki glanced at Sougo, who gave him a discreet nod and smirked a little, he mirrored him. Maybe he was the one who had to buy a parfait after all, he owed the kid. After agreeing with the Gorilla to postpone their drinks, Sougo and Kondo left the room and that left... well, that left him and Hijikata in there. Alone. Talk about comfortable now.
"So, am I allowed to go now?" Gintoki asked, suddenly feeling the need to bolt out of there. There was just something about the situation that made him a little uneasy.
"Wait, before you go you have to sign a document that states you were a witness in this case." Hijikata told him in a quiet tone.
Did Hijikata look almost...embarrassed? This was new. Why would he react like this? Maybe because Gintoki had held his ground and stated the truth in his favor?
"Fine." Gintoki drawled with an exaggerated sigh. He still had his reputation to uphold after all. "Lead the way."
And like this they were out of the room and walking along the long corridors. Hijikata was first and Gintoki was behind him. They didn't talk during this short period and Gintoki had time to ponder a few things over. Like, for example, how his day had turned out so weird, why he had found himself assessing the Demonic Vice Chief's authority of all people, and why said man was walking like that in front of him.
His appearance screamed confidence, but the long strides he took were calm, careful even. His shoulders held some tension and his head was cast downwards. It exposed a sliver of his skin from the collar of his vest. Gintoki then noticed that the hair at his nape weren't completely straight, they were almost curled inwards and he wondered if they were as soft to the touch as the hair on top of his head, that he had grabbed during the car ride and...
Stop right there.
These were really strange thoughts to have.
'What the fuck is wrong with me today?' He had really hit his head hard, he must have one hell of a concussion. Yeah, this was definitely it. It couldn't be anything else.
After what felt like hours (it was only fifty seconds), they arrived in an office that was full of shelves and the like, Gintoki wasn't really paying attention at the moment. There was a table on one side of the room where they went there and Hijikata opened a drawer and extracted a folder. After pulling out a few papers he gave one to Gintoki and a black pen that was resting on the corner of the desk. Gintoki lifted his hand to take it from Hijikata's hold, but in that moment their fingers came in contact and Gintoki's brain short-circuited.
Shit, the tingling started all over again.
He hastily grabbed the pen, took the cap off and started writing his name, not really caring what he was signing because his fingers felt warmwarmwarm, and it was so much easier to blame it on the hit he had received earlier.
But was that really the reason?
After finishing writing he lifted his gaze and saw that Hijikata's eyebrows were furrowed slightly. What, did he do something wrong now?
He looked down to check if he had made any mistakes but it looked fine to him. Then what was that kind of expression on Hijikata's face? Gintoki looked up again and left the pen on the table, instead of giving it back. He figured it was safer this way, like this he could avoid another... 'accident'. When he was just about to ask what was wrong Hijikata spoke.
"You could have said something, idiot."
And Gintoki didn't really understand, perhaps the perplexity on his face was too evident because the Vice Chief pointed to his wrists.
Oh.
The thin red lines that were starting to form earlier had full-out blown into deep, angry, red marks that were at least an inch wide. It almost looked like blood and it was more visible since Gintoki's skin was pale to begin with. Maybe it was during the drive, when they were almost dying after swerving to the left and avoiding a premature death against a camion and Gintoki had thrust his arm forward and taken the wheel with his left hand, but since he was cuffed his right hand had followed suit and crashed with his other one. The impact was hard but the adrenaline was high and he hadn't felt anything. It didn't even hurt, just a feeling of uneasiness. But when he looked at Hijikata he was looking right back at him and was that... concern?
Gintoki, right in that moment, had one of the weirdest thoughts he had had in his entire life. He thought that maybe, if Hijikata kept on looking at him like that, he could keep having bloody red wrists everyday...
Forget the hospital, after this he needed to be sent on a psychiatric clinic.
It was just that it had been such a long time since someone had looked at him like that and like this he opened the forbidden box. He was used to receiving that gaze, when Zura patched him up after a rough day during the war, or when Sakamoto looked at him on the rooftop after having lost someone, or sometimes, even Takasugi, when one of his plans went wrong and they found themselves doing double the amount of fighting to protect their comrades.
Even after Otose had found him starved on the tombstone of her late husband. He didn't want that kind of stare directed at him because it made him feel weak, but with time he had understood that it didn't have to mean pity, it also meant that people cared about him and this was one way to show it. Still, he didn't want to be a burden to anyone and every time something bad happened he forced himself to become stronger, he figured this was one of the reasons he was called Shiroyasha.
But right now he didn't really feel like a burden and he didn't feel weak. This couldn't even be called an injury but Hijikata's countenance still depicted worry. In this stuffed, cold room, with the stifling air around them and with Hijikata that was watching him through his piercing gaze, for something so little that didn't have any relevance whatsoever, he didn't feel pathetic. He didn't really know how he felt, but it wasn't a negative feeling, per se. And it had been so long since the last time he had felt this way, that he had forgotten how it was like.
Gintoki let out a soft chuckle. "Believe me, s'nothing. I live with a Yato girl, a crazy fan of a pop star and an enormous dog. I've had much worse to deal with."
And just like that the tension in the room dissipated. He felt the change. Now Hijikata was looking at him with the same expression he always wore, but this time there was something less raw behind it.
His fingers twitched.
Hijikata gave a scoff that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle, too. After that the Vice Commander escorted him out of the room and in a few minutes they were out of the quarters. Once outside Gintoki wanted to say something, because leaving without a word seemed rude, even if he had never worried himself about it before now, and just as the other was starting to turn towards the entrance he spoke.
"Tell your Commander that when he has time we can go for those drinks."
And Hijikata twisted his neck to look at him for what Gintoki felt was a fraction of eternity and finally whispered. "Got it."
And then went back inside.
Gintoki didn't know if he had caught the meaning behind the word 'we'. He didn't even know himself what it meant. But one thing he was sure about was that he returned home feeling just a bit lighter.
The rain had stopped.
