Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: Sorry for the wait but I've been really busy with my graduate work. I love what I do I just wished it didn't consume my life LOL. But I think you guys will like this chapter as it sort of the beginning of things. You'll see how Jane and Lisbon started to cross that line and how it began to consume them. You'll also have see how they can deal with being ex lovers and current coworkers, not as easy as they wish it would be. The title comes from one of my favorite books and it fits so well with this story, won't be the last Scarlett Letter references you see in this fic.
Chapter 3: Hester Prynne
Lisbon had always assumed that Valentine's Day was a day for couples to give out cheap chocolate and bad smelling perfume, but it was a whole other ball game with children. In school kids were expected to bring valentines for everyone in class, usually with a token piece of candy or the confection hearts. But the real laurels were to make the valentines and Zachary was determined to do just that.
They sat together at the kitchen table with a stack of construction paper, a tub of glue and two packs of magic marker. Zachary looked like Michelangelo constructing his masterpiece, as he was extremely careful with his printing on each card. Lisbon couldn't help but tease him. "So, who's the lucky girl?"
"Huh?"
"Well, is there a girl in your class you want to give something special to?"
Zachary gave her a questioning look. "Why would I do that?
Lisbon smirked at him. "Maybe you like a girl."
"I like all of the girls in my class, except Lucy but she's mean."
She giggled lightly and rubbed his soft curls between her fingers. "All right, what about the girls. Do they like you?"
"Kelly says she wants to kiss me, but I think that's gross."
"Five years old and already breaking hearts," she commented with a grin, "that sounds about right." It was no surprise he took after his father in that regard, she knew that when he was a teenager she would be beating the girls off with a stick. That or he would be climbing out the window to chase after them. Somehow neither of those scenarios particularly appealed to Lisbon.
"I don't want to break any hearts," Zachary said, "Tommy broke Mrs. Ellison's stapler and she was really mad."
Now Lisbon laughed and ruffled his hair again. "It's just a joke, Zach. You're too sweet a boy to ever break a girl's heart." She grinned again, "Just remember you'll be having a sleepover with Daniel on Valentine's Day, that'll be fun won't it?"
Zachary nodded eagerly; he enjoyed having fun with his best friend. Lisbon didn't mind watching Daniel for the night either. Daniel's parents had watched Zachary more than once when she had to stay overnight elsewhere for a case. It was her turn to return the favor so Daniel's parents could have a date night to themselves.
"Why is Daniel coming over?"
"Oh his mommy and daddy are giving gifts to each other," Lisbon explained as tactfully as they could, "it's nice for them to have a night together then."
"Did daddy give you a gift on Valentine's Day?"
She was shocked by that question. Zachary hadn't brought up his father for several weeks, not since he'd first asked her where his father was. Lisbon had hoped that Zachary had stopped thinking about his father, at least until she could figure out what to do with Jane now that he was back in her life.
Lisbon had planned to tell him about Zachary, she was going to do it the first official day that he would work for her team. But it turned out the scars from their affair were still much too raw, that or he really did resent her for their actions. Either way he'd essentially told her he didn't really want anything to do with her outside of work and he certainly was consumed by guilt for cheating on the wife who was killed a year before.
So she'd chickened out. What if he resented Zachary for being alive while Charlotte was not? What if he hurt her son by rejecting him? What if she only hurt Jane even more by adding on the guilt of having a son by actions he despised? Too many unanswered questions plagued her to feel comfortable telling him that he had a son.
But how long could she put it off? Everyone at the office knew she had a child, sure no one talked about their personal lives and most would be reluctant to bring up any subject of children with a man who had recently lost his own. But eventually it would happen. Someone would slip and her secret would be revealed.
But she could keep Zachary safe, if he didn't know his father was around then if he were rejected then he would never know that heartbreak. She would be the only one hurt again.
Lisbon floundered for something to say. "Why do you want to know?"
"I don't know," Zachary admitted, "I just want to know about him."
Damn that made it worse. It wasn't wrong for Zachary to want to know about his father, even little things like what he'd given his mother on an overmarketed holiday.
She sighed heavily. "He gave me earrings for Valentine's Day once, just a nice little gift."
That was true actually. Valentine's Day had fallen in their short-lived affair, not that Jane had come by on it. She hadn't been expecting him to either since he undoubtedly would spend it with his wife. Not that he didn't try to make up for it with an expensive set of silver and emerald earrings. She still remembered feeling excited when she opened that box, later on realizing how wrong it was to take jewelry from a married man. The only time she ever really accepted a gift from him.
She still had those earrings, hidden in a jewelry box and untouched for six years. All of the gifts he'd ever given her were like that, untouched and hidden. Except Zachary, but the best gifts were unintentional.
Lisbon hugged Zachary close. "You were the best gift, that's all that matters."
That made Zachary smile of course. But he was still curious and not even compliments could pacify that. "Do you know where he is?"
She hated to lie to her son, but she didn't know any other way out of this. "No, I don't."
Zachary considered that for a little bit before deciding to accept it. "Okay."
She patted his shoulder. "Why don't we finish your valentines?"
Her son quickly got back to that task, the sudden inquisition about his father over as quickly as it began. She stood up as if to get herself something to drink but instead she went to the kitchen to avoid having her son see her cry. It wasn't fair! Not to him. Why should he pay for her mistakes? It wasn't his fault that his parents had been involved in an affair; he didn't ask to be conceived by a married man and his mistress. A little boy as wonderful as him deserved a real family, not the shambles of a woman trying desperate to hide her scarlet letter.
Of course Hester Prynne had openly acknowledged her mistake while Lisbon still covered hers up. She was more inline with the preacher in that story, her letter was hidden but much more painful, a scar branded onto her skin. And like him she didn't have the courage to let her secret out, so she suffered in silence.
Would there be relief in confession? She wasn't so sure, it hadn't worked out well for Hester in the end after all. Yes she got to see her daughter grow up but she was always an outcast and never got to take off that scarlet 'A'.
Lisbon rolled her eyes and filled a glass with water. She was comparing herself to fictional adulteresses now, which was wrong. For one, her story wasn't one that could be used to exposed society's hypocrisy and sin and punishment. No, hers was merely the same tired tale of people doing foolish things and hurting everyone, including the son who was the result.
She knew that it was inevitable. Some day, somehow Zachary would find out what she had done. All she could do was pray he forgave her.
It was a slow morning at the CBI, no case to keep Jane occupied so he was entertaining Rigsby and Cho. Lisbon thought about playing the boss and calling them out on slacking, something she'd never had to do before, but she didn't want to be their mother either. Besides, she couldn't blame them when there really wasn't much else to do.
Still she could see that Jane was going to be that kid on the playground that got everyone else into trouble but managed to stay squeaky-clean.
Jane was busy showing off, showing Rigsby how he could magically bend and unbend spoons. The agent was entirely fascinated by Jane's amazing trick, almost like a kid at a magician's show. Cho looked amused as well, partly by Rigsby's excitement but Lisbon could see that he was trying to figure out how Jane did it.
"I could tell you how it's done," Lisbon said with a smirk.
Jane glanced at her. "And ruin the secret? Don't reveal the magician's tricks."
"Maybe the magician should have kept his tricks to himself."
Rigsby looked over at her. "You mean he told you before?"
Shit! How could she have let that slip? Jane had showed her that trick years before, but no one was supposed to know that. Lisbon floundered immediately for some sort of excuse. "I…I my brother like magic…he showed me that one."
Rigsby shrugged. "Then how did he do it?"
Lisbon swallowed heavily. "Figure it out yourself," she told him mostly for the sake of trying to end this conversation as soon as possible.
The other agent sulked a bit and he and Cho were quick to leave soon after, probably to find lunch and discuss how weird she was acting. Jane put the spoons aside and headed on his own as well, walking right past her. "Nice save," Jane remarked.
She blushed. "I don't know how you can stay so calm."
"Well I'm more careful than you."
Lisbon didn't like being chastised like that, even if it was rather gentle. "Keep the magic tricks out of the office."
"Why?"
"Because I said so"
Now there was a gleam of rebellion in his eyes. "Because you said so? Really?"
"I am your boss or did you forget that?"
"It is so funny that you actually think you are my boss." Jane said casually, as if the mere thought of her being in charge of him was ludicrous.
"This isn't a joking matter. I am your boss and I am telling you to keep the magic tricks out of the office or else."
"Or else what?"
The look in his eyes was dark and she found herself back to another time when he had threatened her. Stairwells and jealousy. "My office now!"
Jane did follow her much to her surprise but he seemed mostly bored with this routine. Why was it that she was the only one who could see what a mess this all was. "What?"
"Don't you ever dare talk to me like that in the bullpen or I will have you gone from here."
"You won't do that."
She shook her head. "Jane don't push me on this."
"Which subject are we talking about exactly?"
Lisbon glared at him, trying to show authority and not as a woman he'd seen naked numerous times. "Just because we have a past does not mean you don't show me respect, this is my team that you are a part of. Remember that."
"Trust me it is hard to forget. Are we done here?"
"For now."
"Then if you don't mind, there is a cup of tea calling me name."
Lisbon watched him go with some regret, not that he was leaving but that he was there in the first place. She was beginning to wonder why she had even thought that working with him would be a good idea. They could never keep this a secret and they could never look at each other as anything more than someone they had made a horrible mistake with.
This was doomed from the start.
Six Years Ago
Lisbon had gone back to her apartment following the adventure in the closet with Patrick Jane. They hadn't spoken much at all after stumbling out of the closet and hurrying out of the building. She'd driven him to his hotel almost in a daze really, but the tension between them had been as thick as soup.
It was like an itch festering under her skin, but she had to ignore it, it was the only logical thing she could do. But she couldn't stop thinking about him, being that close to him in that closet. She'd been so aware of him, of the musky scent of his cologne, of his hands against her mouth. Those hands had been large and dexterous, not soft but firm, hands a man knew what to do with.
That was all she had been able to think about since. His hands. His eyes. His lips.
She wanted to know what those hands would feel like on her skin, those lips. Would his eyes turn even darker in desire? Asking those questions was dangerous, too dangerous. Patrick Jane was a married man, wanting him was not allowed.
And apparently her ways to dealing with avoiding what she truly wanted was to eat massive quantities of junk food. She put a large dent in her chocolate stash, polished off a bag of potato chips and then settled in with a carton of ice cream. Perhaps she would have to run a few extra miles to make up for it but indulging her peckish side was the only thing that could keep her from jumping in her car and heading for a hotel room she had no business being at.
God what was she doing? Sitting around eating junk while mooning after a man she would never have? She shouldn't even want him! He was a jackass! There were tons of guys out there, she could find another one easily and forget about Mr. Married.
So she did just that.
O'Reilly's was bar and pub she enjoyed going to, not too rowdy with decent food and a very well stocked bar. But it was the men she was perusing tonight, along with some good whiskey she was ready to find someone that would get her to stop thinking about Patrick Jane and clear her head of such insane thoughts.
There were several attractive men and more than a few offers but every time someone offered to buy her a drink or tried to touch her arm or leg, she wound up pulling back. She always found something to criticize, his chin, his eyes, the tattoo on his arm. Stupid nit-picky things that she would normally not care about but were deal breakers tonight for some reason.
"Is this seat taken?"
She glanced over to see a tall man with light brown hair and chocolate eyes, a little scruff gave him character and he was certainly easy to look at. He had that love them and leave them look, the man she was looking for.
"No," she told him. Then she drained her glass and threw some money down on the bar. "Neither is this one."
Lisbon left alone which wasn't how she had planned it but she realized that it was the inevitable ending for the evening. She didn't want any of those men in that bar and none of them would have given her what she'd needed anyways. She wanted the beautiful blonde sin that she was currently working with.
But he wasn't hers to have.
This was the first time Jane had seen Minelli yell.
He knew it would happen eventually, his by the book mentality was certainly going to clash with Jane's ideas of anything goes as long as it gets the job done. He was surprised that Lisbon was brought in for the tongue lashing too but she did keep insisting that she was his boss.
"Do you have any idea how many phone calls I've gotten today?" Minelli asked. It was a rhetorical question. "You don't insult a businessman like Lyle Granger, not when he's friends with the governor and every other politician in the state!"
Jane just shrugged. "You want me to solve cases, that's what I'm doing."
"You're hired to solve cases, not piss off every man in the state." Minelli then turned to Lisbon. "And where were you when this was happening?"
"Trying to stop Granger from punching him," Lisbon replied.
"You should have let him," Minelli told her. "You told me he would be a pain in the ass. You should have warned me just how much."
"My mistake sir," Lisbon agreed. "I should have said that he doesn't just bring trouble, he makes enough to destroy the state."
"I am standing right here," he reminded them thought he was rather amused by the conversation taking place.
"So you are," Minelli said. "Now, I am going to apologize on your behalf to Lyle Granger and you are going to avoid going to any of his hotels in the near future."
"Well one is currently a crime scene," Jane pointed out, "might be difficult to avoid that."
"Get him out of my office," Minelli said quickly and Lisbon all but shoved Jane out of the room.
Jane chuckled a little as soon as they were out of the office but Lisbon looked like she would kill him with her eyes if that were possible. "I like Minelli, he's a good man." She still didn't respond, just glared at him. Well if she would be that way then he would ask something else. "So you told him about us?"
That got her talking. "Sure, I told my boss that I slept with a married man six years ago."
"He must have been shocked."
She didn't appreciate his come back. "I told him we worked together once, that is all."
"Well we did work together," Jane agreed. He was glad he at least knew the story so he could avoid any problems in the future. Of course he would have been able to bluff his way out of saying anything too personal.
"And it was as much of a disaster then as it is now."
"I wouldn't say that."
Lisbon scoffed at that. "Are you kidding? You really think this is working? You don't listen to a word I say, you run off and do your own thing, you have no respect for me at all."
"That's not true."
"Of course it is! Do you see me as an investigator or as a woman that you slept with six years ago?" She didn't give him a chance to respond. "I don't know why we ever thought his would work in the first place."
They were both quiet for a moment, watching as people passed them by, completely oblivious to the black marks on both of them. "I respect you," Jane told her.
He heard her let out a long sigh. "Even if that was true, we were kidding ourselves to think we could ever actually work together again."
She might have been right about that. But he wasn't willing to give up quite yet.
When Jane said he had a plan that was enough to make Lisbon feel like she was going to be sick. Throw in the fact that he told her she would have to dress up and she really felt like she was going to have a panic attack. Jane had a theory that the person who killed Vincent Lang was in retaliation for Lang's very public and very cruel breakup with his ex-girlfriend.
Lisbon found that pill hard to swallow but Jane was convinced that the killer worked at the hotel bar. He needed a woman to illicit sympathy and she was the only person on the team that currently fit that bill. That just sealed the deal, she needed to hire another woman.
So she wound up dressed up in a cute black dress she had stashed in her closet, taping a wire under her bra and feeling like a complete idiot. "Why can't you just use tarot cards again?" Lisbon asked him once she was wired up. "I didn't have to dress up for that."
"Tarot cards won't work for this," Jane reminded her, "We need to ferret out the killer, we don't have a finite group to focus on."
"Then have Rigsby do it."
"He wouldn't fit in the dress."
The image of her six foot three friend trying to squeeze into the black dress was more than enough to scar her for life. Jane seemed to think that was the end of that argument and for all intents and purposes it was. She didn't know how to get out of this situation except following Jane's lead.
Jane told her the game plan again while Cho laid out the set up in the room, cameras, microphones, etc. Jane was going to go in and play the charming rake while she was supposed to see him and get all depressed at the bar because apparently he was her ex.
The irony wasn't lost on her either.
But Lisbon wasn't thinking about their affair six years ago, she was focused instead on trying not to throw up from how nervous she was. She never was in a school play because she knew she couldn't stand up in front of people and not freak out. She also knew she was terrible at coming up with lies on the spot.
So as she stood alone with Jane outside the hotel she just blurted out the truth. "I can't do this."
"Yes you can."
"No seriously, I can't," Lisbon insisted. "I can't just make something up, I'm not good at those kinds of lies."
"Are you good at making any kind of lie?"
She might have been annoyed any other time of Jane mocking her but she was still too freaked out by what she was about to do. He noticed and came up with a solution of his own.
"Tell the truth."
Lisbon wasn't sure if she'd heard him right. "What?"
"Tell the truth," Jane repeated. "Don't make up a lie, just tell the truth. We had an affair."
"Are you crazy?! I'm not going to say anything like that with Cho and Rigsby listening!"
"Why not? They won't know its true," Jane pointed out.
He had a point. Cho and Rigsby didn't have any idea of their history; there was no reason why they would think she was actually recounting their history instead of just telling an elaborate lie.
For some reason, that calmed her down. Having a plan meant she wasn't going in there completely blind and maybe it just helped to remember that the only person who really knew what she'd done was the man standing with her…and he wasn't going to say a word.
That was how she wound up sitting at a bar, ordering a rum and Coke that she sipped to avoid getting drunk. She'd have preferred just the Coke but that would have ruined her cover for sure. And when Jane came in she did what she could to pretend to look like she was devastated. That wasn't so difficult, she thought about the moment things had ended between them, the time she found her mother died, any moment that filled her with sadness to this day.
It seemed to work. The bartender gave her a free drink and one of the waitresses stood there and was sympathetic while she poured out her sad little tale. The story of a woman who got in too deep with a married man, who lost sight of herself in the chaos but couldn't break away from him because she'd never felt so strongly about anyone like that before…only to have it all fall apart when she found out that it was all a façade.
Jane left to go back to the room and watch the evening progress as she finished up her story. Then she sat at the bar and pretended to feel incredible hopeless. The commotion started not long afterwards and she slipped away to head up to the room to surprise the same waitress who was breaking into Jane's room.
"I'm surprised honestly," Jane admitted, "I thought it would be the bartender."
The waitress was in for a surprise when she realized she'd been had, apparently having been badly jilted herself she had reacted badly to her best friend being humiliated by Lang, apparently that gave her cause to do the same to any woman she felt terrible for.
It was pouring down rain when they loaded up the waitress in the squad car and Lisbon turned only to catch Jane's eye. They stood there for a second, eyes locked in the pouring rain before she turned away again, both wanting to pretend the past hadn't happened.
It had been raining when Lisbon had gone to the bar and by the time she'd gotten out it had started to pour. She was nervous about getting home since her car was currently on it's last legs but she needed a couple more paychecks before she could afford that new Mustang she'd been eyeing.
Sure enough, she got maybe ten blocks before her car started sputtering and stalling. "Come on," she pleaded with the engine as she used the last of the momentum to pull over. "Please, don't do this now!"
But each time she cranked the engine she just heard it rev but it wouldn't actually start. "Come on!" she shouted again before finally slapping the steering wheel. "Damn you," she muttered before opening the door to step out into the deluge.
Lisbon popped the hood to see her for herself but everything looked wet to her. She'd have to call a tow truck and triple A. Just what she needed.
She reached back into her car to pull out her cell phone only to be greeted with another surprise, her battery was dead. "Oh no, you have got to be kidding me!" she shouted into the night.
Wonderful, now she'd have to walk to a phone.
Lisbon kicked her car tire and mused that this must be karma. She was fantasizing about a married man and went to a bar to do something about it only to leave alone and now be stranded in the rain. God was punishing her. That had to be the only explanation.
"Need some help?"
She turned around to find herself awash in headlights and lo and behold, the object of her thoughts and desires was behind the wheel. Suddenly she had a new theory for why this was happening all at once, it had nothing to do with God but rather the fallen angel responsible for all of the wickedness in this world.
And like he tempted Eve, here was the forbidden fruit being held out to her right now.
"What are you doing here?" Lisbon asked as he Jane got out of the car. A very nice rental Lexus from the looks of it.
"Driving around," Jane told her, "I couldn't sleep." He eyed her up and down, his gaze even sexier now that he was rapidly getting as soaked as she was. "Then I saw you stranded on the side of the road, wouldn't be a gentlemen if I just drove on by."
"I don't think you're a gentleman."
"I'm not," Jane agreed with a smile. "But here I am."
Lisbon sighed and looked at her car and then back at him. "Got your cell phone?"
"Indeed, and it's charged, I'm guessing yours isn't."
She gave him an annoyed look as she took his offered phone. "Did a spirit tell you that?"
"No, the way you kicked your tire in annoyance did."
That made her crack a smile as she called for a tow truck, quickly able to give the driver directions only to be dismayed that it would take at least twenty minutes. When she hung up Jane gave her another tempting smile. "Want to wait in my car? It's dry."
"Why not?" Lisbon said even though her heart was pounding. God this might be a really bad idea.
He handed her a towel as soon as they were in the car. "Here at least you can dry off."
"Do you always carry towels in your rentals?" She asked as she took the towel to at least get some of the water out of her hair.
"No," Jane told her. "It was in the trunk.
She flung it away. "Ugh! And you let me use it?"
Now he was laughing. "It's from my hotel room, wet night like this, it's always good to be prepared."
"You're an ass," she said as she picked the towel up and continued to dry off. The silence fell heavy again; the only sound was the pounding of the rain on the roof. "Thanks for stopping," she told him finally; she hadn't done that in her frustration at having to be in the same vicinity as him again.
"It's no problem," he replied. Jane drummed his fingers on the steering wheel for a beat. "What were you doing out?"
Lisbon couldn't tell him she'd been hoping to hook up with someone so she could stop thinking about him, that would be right up there with the naked dreams from high school. "I…I couldn't sleep either."
"Did you try?"
"Yes."
"Liar," Jane replied, he turned his head to look at her. "You were up to something else, I'm guessing your annoyance when I showed up wasn't a coincidence."
"My car just stalled in the middle of a storm," she reminded him, "of course I was mad."
"Yes but it was directed at me," he pointed out, "I certainly can't be responsible for your car." Lisbon turned away. There was no way she could answer this question, ever. So she stayed quiet, looking out at the rain again. "I could guess," Jane offered but she still didn't reply. "You were thinking about me when it happened, and before…and you went to a bar to forget."
She did turn now to glare at him. "Not everything has to be about you."
"This was."
Rage flooded through her system and she yanked open the door. "I don't have to hear this." She snapped before jumping back into the rain.
Lisbon figured she'd wait in her own car for the tow truck and Patrick Jane could just stuff his nice lexus up his ass.
"Teresa stop!" he said as he followed her over to her car.
"Go away!" she shouted back. She tried to get into her car but the door was locked and the key was in her jacket pocket. She had to fumble for it but Jane put a hand on her arm to stop her.
He grabbed her and forced her to turn and look at him. His eyes dark in the storm, his blonde hair slicked and wet. It was the best and worst of fantasies come to life.
"I don't know what happened in that closet," Jane started, and then he thought better of it. "Actually I do. But it isn't just you," He told her calmly then repeated softer, "It isn't just you."
All she could do was stare into his eyes, her hear thudding in her ears. It isn't just you.
He was feeling it too.
She stopped thinking then about what was wrong and what was right. At that moment the only thing he cared about was that it wasn't just her who was feeling something.
He did too.
Lisbon stepped up on her toes to kiss him. Pulling him up against her to press her body up against his. This wasn't slow; this wasn't a tender kiss in the rain that came with all of the sappy romantic comedies in the movies. No, this was raw passion.
Jane didn't fight her; no he kissed her back immediately. He pushed her up against the car. Their hands fumbled over wet clothing and skin, she found his hair and let her fingers skim through the silky wet locks.
The rain poured around them but neither one noticed or cared. This was about feeling, tasting, the rush of blood through their veins and the thrill of the moment. It was excitement, it was powerful, an addiction that started almost instantly.
It was headlights the broke them up. The searing light forced them to see what was happening in the shadows, underneath the lightning streaking across the sky.
"You still need help?" The tow truck driver asked. He was looking very amused at catching two want-to-be lovers making out heavily against the car.
Lisbon pushed him aside quickly though there was no way either one of them could regain their composure after being caught like this. "Y…yes," she stammered out.
"All right, I'll get you set up," the guy said before getting to work.
Jane nodded his head. "I'll take you home."
"No," Lisbon said quickly. "He'll take me home. You need to go. Now."
"Teresa…"
"Go."
She wondered if he would fight her more but he must have seen something in her eyes, something that reminded them both of their situation. The one being that they had already crossed one line that they never should have come close to stepping on in the first place.
So he nodded his head and turned back to his car. Lisbon was left standing in the pouring rain, her heart pounding heavily in her chest, body still humming with what had just happened. Everything was spinning out of control and she didn't now how to stop it.
She didn't know if she wanted to.
When the killer was put away the paperwork merely continued. Still Lisbon was ready to call it a night and finish it tomorrow so she could go home to Zachary. Her nanny was able to stay late that night but she couldn't stay over forever. She wasn't surprised that Jane was the last one to leave, he usually was, but she wasn't expecting him to stop by her office.
"Finally heading home?" he said casually.
"Well I don't live here," Lisbon pointed out teasingly, "and I actually like sleeping in a real bed."
"Don't knock the couch," Jane told her.
She found herself smiling at him; it was a good-natured talk, not fraught with secrets and old pain. "I'll take your word on the couch, my home seems like a better option to me."
But Jane did turn serious then, something she wasn't expecting. "I want you to know that I do respect you, as a cop and a friend."
It was the word 'friend' that caught her off guard. "You think we're friends?"
"Yes," Jane told her, "or at least I hope we will be."
"You think we can be friends? Even after what happened?"
He met her eyes. "I believe if we give ourselves the chance, then yes."
Lisbon shook her head, still amazed. "But how? Don't you…resent me?"
"For what?"
"For sleeping with you."
"Now that's absurd," Jane told her, "I was just as at fault as you were, perhaps more. I was the one who was married after all."
"And yet you think we can be friends."
"Lisbon, we made a mistake six years ago but we have to work together now. I never thought you were anything less than a wonderful person that should be admired." Jane smiled at her. "Why wouldn't I want to be friends with you?"
She looked away, blushing a little now. There was one last topic she had to bring up. "But don't you…don't you think that would be like cheating again?"
He took in a deep breath and let it out, she knew she'd hurt him a little with that one. "It's not the same thing," Jane told her after a moment. "We aren't sleeping together, we're working together to help people. If being friends can help us work better together, isn't that a good thing?"
Jane had a good point and she couldn't refute it. "You're right, it's better to be partners."
"Now that sounds better than you calling yourself my boss."
"Even if technically I am?"
"No one is the boss of me," Jane told her teasingly, "and you definitely don't want to try."
"God help me if I did," Lisbon agreed. There was a stretch of silence, not awkward but peaceful. "You're right," she told him, "we can be friends."
"Of course I'm right," Jane replied. "And as your friend, you should go home and get some sleep. You're much less cranky when you're well rested."
"ha ha ha," Lisbon said dryly, "you're hilarious."
"You know I'm right," Jane told her with a grin.
She laughed then, enjoying a moment with him that wasn't filled with tension. "But you're right, I need to go home." But she wasn't thinking about her bed, instead it was the little boy that was waiting for her.
"I'll see you tomorrow…friend," Jane tacked on at the end with another smile.
She smiled as he left and sat back in her chair with a sigh when he was gone. It was good to finally clear the air, to work past it and as far as he knew, it really was the end of the matter.
Lisbon opened her drawer and looked down at a picture of her son, his curly blonde hair and infectious smile. It wasn't over, not yet by any means, and it never would be.
A/N: Well what did you think? I loved that kiss in the rain so much, as bad as it is to say that hehehe. But Lisbon is right. Zachary can't stay a secret for much longer...
