Summery: Harry Potter

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Sanji stood at the edge of the dark lake, the grass felt cool and wet with dew against his bare feet. He was focusing on that feeling, trying to delay, to not think too hard about what was happening. A cool breeze blew across the water sending a ripple over the mirror like expanse. Sanji shivered as he lifted his vest over his head and started unbuttoning his dress shirt. He fumbled with the buttons in the darkness.

This was such a stupid idea, really stupid, but he was a brave and noble Gryffindor, he couldn't just back down from a challenge. He folded his dress shirt and placed it on a branch well off the ground, where it would be safe.

As he started removing his pants he tried to ignore Zoro, who was struggling to get his shirt off. He had already taken off his pants and was trying to get his shirt off in his underwear. Sanji paused for a moment to watch him, but when he succeeded in his task he went back to kicking off his pants. It was best to avoid looking at Zoro currently, despite his hyper aggravating personality, he did have a very fit physical form. And this, Sanji tried to avoid looking at him at all, just in case he got sucked into staring. Staring was bad, thinking was bad. Dammit, he had to stop thinking about it. He shook himself and focused on his task, the removal of pants was a very complicated procedure when distracted. He managed to do it without fall on his face though.

And, they were, two seventh year Gryffindors, standing around in their underwater in front of a lake full of the unknown. The lights of Hogwarts glowed up on the hill and shimmered across the water.

Again, this was a really stupid idea. It had all started during care of magical creatures, or at least that was where the idea became a thing of interest. The class was out on the edge of the forbidden forest, near the lake, listening to Hagrid go on about bowtruckles. Bowtruckles were horrible little stick creatures with long claws, and they were not very friendly. No one really knew why they had to know anything about bowtruckles, it wasn't like many of them were going to be hanging around in the woods, frolicking with the bowtruckles. It was just one of those annoying things that they had to learn in order pass.

When the lecture part was done, they were let to take care of the little wooden pests. Chopper was the only one who made an effort to look after it, the rest of the group was busy slacking off. Chopper was a good little first year Hufflepuff, but he was more than capable academically. So he could get them a good grade, he had to skip about four years of classes to be in this one after all. The only reason he was allowed was because his grandmother lived in the middle of a creepy forest like the forbidden forest, so he was used to dealing with such things.

So, while Chopper carried on with that, Luffy was trying to find a centipede to put on the little boat he had in his hands, so he could send it afloat across the Black Lake. Luffy was a Griffendor sixth year not so well know for his academic abilities. He was more well know for his bottomless stomach and his tendency to get into a lot of trouble, and the fact that his older brother had nearly burnt out the Gryffindor common room his last year of school and had been expelled, but whatever, Ace had no regrets. He worked a magical fire fighter now. Magical fire fighters were far superior to regular fire fighters because they could just apperate to the fire and put it out with their wands, or so Ace liked to boast.

When Luffy finally found the sort of insect he was looking he let out a cheer of triumph and placed it in his little boat. Well, it wasn't his boat exactly, Nami actually made it. Nami was a sixth year Slytherin with an abundance of natural magical ability, but would rather manipulate other people into doing things for her. Among her other interests here alchemy and counting her money, it was pretty easy to see where her priorities were.

When Luffy pushed the boat and it's centipede captain into the water, Nami waved her wand and set a gust of wind to sent it off across the still waters.

"Fare ye well," Luffy said, giving a little salut as it sailed off, "I hope that the mermaids accept this as an offering of piece between our peoples," he said a little too seriously.

"Have I ever told you of the time I wrestled with the with a giant squid in this very lake?" asked Usopp enthusiastically. He was also a sixth year Gryffindor.

"Really?" Luffy asked with glittering eyes.

"There isn't a giant squid out there, that's just a rumor," Sanji snorted.

"Yes, there is," Usopp assured him, "and I wrestled with it. I punched it right it its big eyeball and it ran away crying like a giant baby."

"Squids don't run or cry, idiot," Zoro said from his spot laying back on the grass.

"You wouldn't know, you've never seen one," Usopp said hastily.

"I bet I could wrestle a giant squid," Zoro said thoughtfully.

"A giant squid would squeeze you to death then bite your head off," Sanji scoffed.

"Maybe," Zoro nodded, "but I bet I could last longer in a squid wrestling match than you could."

"In a wrestling match maybe," Sanji had to admit that when it came to grappling around on the ground Zoro probably had him beat, "but from a distance I could kick the shit out of a giant squid."

"I challenge you to a squid wrestling tournament," Zoro exclaimed, jabbing Sanji in the leg. Sanji had walked over to stare down at Zoro in order to argue with him more conveniently.

"We don't have any giant squids to wrestle with," Sanji pointed out, obviously if there was a giant squid there right now he would be all over it, no question.

"Is that fear I detect?" Zoro taunted.

"No, it's irritation at how stupid you are." Zoro did have the most annoying ability to settle himself right under his skin, and would he stuck in his mind. It drove him insane, but there were times when he couldn't stop thinking about the idiot. It was always best to suppress those thoughts though.

"I'm not stupid, you are!" Zoro spat back childishly

"No, I believe you are sadly mistaken."

"I think you're confusing you with me."

They would have argued longer, but class the was at its end. The students rushed up the steps of the hill to the school. Sanji and Zoro were the only ones with the next class together; seventh year muggle studies with Robin. They weren't supposed to call her Robin because she was their teacher, but they had known her when they were both first years and she was in her final year as a Ravenclaw. She actually made the class semi interesting and everyone was too terrified of her not to pay attention.

They listed intently to a lecture on World War Two and the class passed quickly. Sanji got up to leave when the class ended, but stopped when he noticed that Zoro didn't get up. The blond was torn between waiting for the mossy haired idiot and making it look like ha actually cared about ditching him and waiting to see what Zoro was up to.

As it happened, Zoro was waiting for everyone to leave. He took notice of Sanji's choice to wait for him and made note to tease him about it later. When the last person walked out he made his way over to Robin. "Oi, Robin, I have a question," he said bluntly.

"Oh?" she raised an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah, is there a giant squid in the Black Lake?" If anyone would know something like that it was her.

"There have been rumors of a giant squid, yes," the dark haired woman inclined her head.

"But are they for real?" Zoro stressed.

"I couldn't say," she said, although there was a cryptic smile on her face that said otherwise.

"I bet you could," Zoro argued irritably, "You just don't want to tell me."

"Why do you want to know?" I wasn't as if Zoro was usually brimming with questions. He wasn't usually the thinky thinky sort of person.

"I want to know if I could wrestle I giant squid," he shrugged in return, because that was obviously a normal reaction to thinking about squids.

"You're an idiot," Sanji shook his head. He should probably just leave Zoro behind or else he would be late to his next class. But he had to make sure that the brute wasn't too mean to the lovely Robin, right? Yeah, that sounded like a pretty good excuse. Because he would never stay just to walk down the hall with Zoro, that was illogical, seeing as he hated that grass haired moron.

Robin tilted her head in confusion, oblivious to Sanji inner struggle, "A giant squid would drown you if you tried to wrestle with it."

"I would be too quick for it," Zoro assured her, sounding far too serious and confident than he had any right to be.

"Okay, that's enough," Sanji said, grabbing Zoro by the arm and pulling him back toward the exit. "Time to stop bothering Robin about this nonsense."

"You can't tell me what to do," Zoro argued, pulling his arm back slightly but Sanji held strong.

"I can and I will, we're going to be late to class," he looked back over his shoulder at Robin, "Goodbye, Robin," he waved happily as he dragged Zoro out into the busy hall.

"Let me go," Zoro said pulling his arm back as they began the descent of the moving stairs. Oddly enough, he had waiter until this point to pull back. Maybe he was acknowledging his tendency to get lost even in a place he had been to every day.

"Fine," Sanji let go as the stairs touched down at the next level, "You're on the right floor anyway." Zoro was off to charms and he always followed Sanji down as the blond made his way to herbology. He always seemed to get lost without someone to guide him. Lucky for him, he had Sanji in a majority of his classes, although he didn't seem to appreciate it much. Ungrateful bastard. "Do I get a thank you?" Sanji asked.

"No," Zoro said through gritted teeth as he walked off toward class.

Sanji continued down outside and to the greenhouse for herbology. He had mixed feeling about herbology: on one hand he enjoyed learning about eatable plants, on the other he didn't give a shit about the other plants and didn't have any friends in the class.

Next was Defense Against the Dark Arts, which Zoro and Sanji had together. That class always passed quickly. Their teacher, who insisted that they all call him Franky, was a very amusing man. He was the last person one might think would teach the dark arts but he knew what he was talking about. He liked to do a lot of interactive and over the top projects so you were never quite sure what you were getting yourself into when you want through the door.

Later that day, dinner was amazing, although Sanji wished that he could have cooked it himself. He had grown up in a kitchen, learning from the best chef in the fucking world, Zeff. Sanji had been adopted and didn't remember either of his parents, so he had no idea if he had magical parents or not, but Zeff had not known anything of magic when the letter for Sanji came. Sanji had been conflicted about leaving because that meant that he couldn't learn to cook with Zeff, but it turned it that they could make up for it in the summer. Sanji worked his ass off in the summer time and all that work eventually paid off. He kicked ass at cooking.

At dinner's end Brook, one of the many ghosts in the school, floated by them with a soft; "Yohoho," only to be passed through by Nami as she walked over to the Gryffindor table and held up a letter. "Okay, boys," she said, "Who wants to take this to the owlery for me?"

"I will, Nami dear!" Sanji said excitedly, reaching a hand out for the letter.

Zoro rolled his eyes calling Sanji an idiot. Nami instantly turned her gaze to him, "You're just jealous that Sanji could do it faster than you."

"He could not," Zoro scoffed.

Nami gave him a sweet smile, "Sure he could, you have all that muscle to lug around, it takes up weight."

Zoro's pride flared up, causing him to defend himself, "My muscles only make me stronger."

"Prove it." Nami smirked. He could see what she was doing, but his competitive side couldn't just let it go, Sanji would be on him about it forever.

"Fine," he made a grab for the letter.

"Not so fast, I have a better idea." She duplicated the letter with a brush of her wand and handed one to each of them. "First one to get it send out is the real man," she grinned, "Now, go!"

The two raced off the through the hallways and up the stairs, out to the owlery. They made it to the structure at about the same time, but Sanji was the one who managed to locate and capture Nami's bird first.

"I am the real man!" Sanji proclaimed triumphantly as he watched the owl fly off.

"Whatever, Nami only wanted to get us to send her letter for her," Zoro grumbled as he made for the door, Sanji following in his footsteps.

"You're just bitter because you lost," he chuckled.

As they were walking down the way back into the castle, Zoro stopped to look out over the grounds. He had stopped so abruptly that Sanji bumped into him. When the blond saw that Zoro wasn't paying attention, he tried to see what he was looking at. Night was starting to fall, it was almost curfew.

"I want to go down to the lake," Zoro finally announced.

"Are you crazy? You're not still stuck up on the squid thing, are you?" Sanji asked incredulously.

"What, are you scared?"

"Of course not." He was a brave Gryffindor, he wasn't afraid of anything.

"Then come with me."

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now. I formally challenge you for the honor of calling yourself man. You just got that title, don't make me revoke it already," Zoro threatened.

"What do you challenge me to?" Sanji asked wearily.

"Going for a swim in the lake. I bet I can last longer than you." Zoro jabbed him in the chest for emphasis.

Sanji brushed the hand away, "Bullshit, there no way you'll last longer than me."

"We'll see."

"We aren't going to get the others?"

"No, this is happening right here, right now. Well, actually over there," he pointed to the lake,"but still."

Sanji paused for a moment to consider, "Alright, fine, fuck it. Let's do this, I'll kick you're ass."

Zoro grinned before he started to descend the stairs toward the castle, at the bottom jumped over the side, casting arresto momentum before he could hit the ground. Sanji followed his example and landed with even more grace.

They then began their trek toward the lake in focused silence. By the time they made it to the shoreline it was pitch black.

"Ready to chicken out?" Zoro smirked.

"As if, I'm going to totally own your ass at staying in longer," Sanji assured him.

"Great, then take your clothes off," Zoro said as he began to remove his trousers.

Sanji had hesitated, not because he was afraid of the lake, more that he was uncomfortable removing his clothes around Zoro. It wasn't like they would be that different physically, they were both guys after all. Even if Zoro was a lot more decked out with muscles and had a tendency to distract Sanji more than he cared to admit. Nothing weird about that, but best not to think about it. After a pause or about two seconds, he swallowed his nervousness and started to strip.

Then they were standing in front of the lake.

"Ready to go?" Zoro asked, hooking a thumb around the waistband of his underwear, preparing to pull them off.

Sanji's heart picked up a beat or two but he forced himself to remain calm, "Hang on, are we going to do this naked?" he asked in a normal sounding voice.

"Yeah, were you going to do this in your underwear?" The idea seemed to confuse Zoro greatly.

"Yeah, we can just dry them when we get out, no problem. "

"Are you uncomfortable being naked around me?" asked Zoro, cocking his head to the side like he was trying to see the situation from a different perspective.

"I just don't want to add skinny dipping with Zoro under the pale moonlight to the list of things that I've done in my life," Sanji sighed, although part of him whisper that this statement may have been a bit of a lie.

"It would be an honor for you to add that," Zoro told him indignantly.

"Also," Sanji said, "with all that might be out in that lake, I don't want to deal with it while my dick is exposed."

Understanding flooded across Zoro's face, "Okay, I guess that's s fair point. No skinny dipping then." He removed his hand from his waist band, much to Sanji's relief. Or was it disappointment?

"Don't sounds so disappointed," Sanji commenter on Zoro's inflection, which had dipped downward slightly.

"I wasn't!" Zoro cried defensively.

"You sounded like it."

"Shut up!" Zoro jumped into the water, disturbing the surface enough to send ripples through the whole lake. It was deep even along the edge, well below his range of touching and there was a really creepy patch of seaweed along the shore that tickled at his legs like creepy little fingers. "Come on in, scardy brow!" he taunted Sanji.

Sanji took a deep breath, set his wand next to his clothes and made for the shore. He stared out over the water for a second before jumping out into the lake. The water was cold, but it still held some of the warmth from summer, school had only be in for about a month, so it wasn't completely freezing yet.

Sanji swam over to Zoro, "Ready to back out, loser," he grinned, although he was resisting the urge to shiver.

"Not a chance," Zoro's eyes gleamed in the darkness, shining with the same determination to win that Sanji knew his own eyes held.

Together, they swam out toward the center of the lake, both were strong swimmers and had no trouble matching their speeds. Once they passed the patch of seaweed it wasn't quite so terrifying either. That is, if they didn't think too hard about what might be underneath them because knowing this place it could be literally anything.

About a fourth of the way to the center they paused to taunt each other.

"We're halfway to the halfway," Zoro said, maintaining his spot as he floated there in the cold water.

"I'll have you know I'm part fish," Sanji told him, "I'm a manfish."

"A mermaid?" Zoro tried to correct him.

"No, I'm a manfish," Sanji said in a wounded tone, "It's completely different, geez, racist."

"Right, sorry," Zoro rolled his eyes swimming closer to the blond.

"You should be sorry, my people don't take kindly to that sort of thing, asshole."

"I guess they probably wouldn't take me drowning you very well either," the marimo sighed sadly.

"Oh, was that the plan? You were going to get me out here and drown me where no one could see. I mean it's not like there are any video cameras around. It's not a bad plan, but I will fight you to the bitter end."

"That's right, I came out here to murder you," Zoro said sarcastically.

"You'll never get away with it, you fiend!" Sanji exclaimed dramatically, splashing water into Zoro's direction.

Zoro retaliated with an even bigger splash. What a bastard. Sanji, obviously couldn't take that, so he had to splash Zoro back. Soon enough they were splashing and flailing around like idiots. Sanji was laughing so hard he inhaled a lung full of water and started coughing. Zoro grabbed his arms and pulled them out farther. Why had this seemed like such a bad idea before? They were actually having a lot of fun.

They swam at a more leisurely pace, talking as they went. This was actually kind of nice in a weird sort of way, that is, until Sanji felt something brush his leg. He reflexively flinched back, his mind automatically leaped to the worst possible idea before his logical thinking kicked in. Whatever had brushed him felt small, "Agh! A fish just brushed my leg." A fish seemed the most likely choice, they would be bold in a place like this where there were no people to scare them off."

"Scared of a little fish?" Zoro snorted as he turned back to look at Sanji, although it was too dark to see much of anything.

"No, I was just warning you that there are bold fish in the areaaaaAAAH!" Something thin and tentacle like wrapped around his leg, several tentacle things actually, it was like having an octopus around his leg.

"What!?" Zoro asked in alarm.

"There's something stuck to my fucking leg!" he tried to shove it off and felt a squishy, stumpy body. As he tried to detach the thing another attached. "There's another one!"

Zoro grabbed his arm to keep him upright as he struggled against the things as they pulled him downward.

"Fuck," Sanji swore as he felt more of the things brush past him, some attaching to him and some to Zoro, "Can you cast spells without your wand?"

"Not really." Of course he couldn't, that would be too convenient.

Sanji tried to reply but for a moment he was pulled under. He sputtered as Zoro hauled him back to the surface. "Shit, fine. Accio wand." He held up a hand in preparation to catch it but nothing came. "God dammit, accio wand!" After a pause full of desperate pleading there was a whizzing sound and Sanji's veela hair wand found its place in his had once again. He aimed it at the thing on his left leg, "Stupify!" he shouted. There was a flash of light and the thing went limp, falling away. He took out each one in that way. His adrenaline was pumping so hard he wasn't sure what the damage done to his legs was.

"We should head back," Sanji heaved as Zoro mostly kept him up. It suddenly seemed like they were in the middle of the ocean, the shore was just so far away.

They made their way back very slowly. Every so often another thing would attack them. Sanji was by then convinced that they were grindylows but it was impossible to tell in this dark water. Nasty little fuckers.

They were finally at the shore line when Sanji felt something brush his stomach. Instinctively he flinched back thinking it was another grindylow, but it felt too big for that. A giant tentacle wrapped it's way around Sanji's mid section and legs, squeezing that air from his lungs.

Instead of dragging him completely under, the tentacle hesitated for a moment then started dragging him backward toward an area of squirming water where it could be assumed that the giant squid was located. As Sanji was dragged back, Zoro scramble from the water toward his things. He fumbled in the darkness for his wand, cursing himself for being so disorganized. When he finally found the object of his desire he pointed it out toward the squid even as he jumped into the water after it. "Stupify!" The squid went slack and Sanji started to float down with it, totally spent. Zoro grabbed him before he could drown and dragged him to shore.

Both were breathing heavily, lungs burning and limbs aching. "I was in the water longer," Sanji finally managed.

Zoro gaped at him, "That's not fair, I had to get out so I could save your stupid ass!"

"It was your one chance to get rid of me," Sanji smiled.

"Yeah, Luffy would have been upset if I let you die."

"Sure," Sanji laughed, groaning as he sat up. He still had his wand in a death grip. "Lumos." His wand lit at the end to show the state of his torn up legs. "Fuck." They were covered in splotchy sucker marks from hip to toe and he was bleeding in several places from where they had ripped his skin. The pain was starting to seep in through the coldness and the adrenalin rush, making him shake.

Zoro made a grab for his own wand but realized that he didn't have it with him. He had dropped it in his effort to retrieve Sanji. Well, that sucked.

"I dropped my wand in the water," Zoro said, sounding resigned. He would have to swim back out for it. He made to stand up but Sanji stopped him.

"Accio Zoro's wand," the cook said with a little flick of his wand. Sanji made an effort to catch the piece of wood as it zoomed toward his head, but he missed and it bounced off his forehead. "Fucking hell, why does the universe hate me?!"

Zoro ignored him, trying to remember a spell to heal wounds. "Ferula," there was a spark and Sanji felt a stinging sensation shoot up his leg.

"Fuck! What did you do?"

"I think I messed something up, I've always sucked at healing spells. I'll try again."

"Don't-" he tried again and a more intense shock hit Sanji

"Shit, I think your medical care would be better if you literally just kissed it better!" Sanji shouted angrily.

Zoro gave him a put out look before he leaned down and pressed his lips high up on Sanji's thigh, a little too high up and a little too much to the inside.

Sanji was immediately put on edge, "Woah! That- that was way too high to be comfortable with! Correction, anything would have been too much, why-" Sanji objected but Zoro's smirked and pushed Sanji's illuminated wand up higher to cast a better light on Sanji's distressed face.

"Is that a blush I see?" he asked, thoroughly amused.

"No, it's not!" Sanji shouted, yanking away his wand, "I mean, it's a blush of mortification!"

"Nah, I don't think so," Zoro leaned in closer to Sanji's face. Sanji leaned back.

"Stop- Zoro- what are mmmff-" Sanji was cut off by a pair of cold, wet lips on his. The contact lasted about three seconds.

"Better?" Zoro asked after he withdrew.

"Go fuck yourself-" Sanji was cut off again when Zoro decided that he didn't feel like listening to his reply. That time there was actual movement involved. Sanji was annoyed but he obliged, part of him was elated that he was in this situation, the other part was telling him to go throw himself back into the lake.

When Zoro pulled away Sanji sulked, quickly moving his wand and using a spell to bandage at least some of his cuts, he could have Chopper do the rest later. Or he could not have Chopper do it and just suck it up.

When he was done with the bandaging, he and Zoro started back up to the castle. They didn't say anything to one another, Zoro because he wasn't sure what exactly to say, Sanji because he was decidedly ignoring the Japanese man. They progressed up the hill slowly, on bloody and painful legs.

When they actually got up to the castle they had a few options, they could find a way to sneak up one of the towers or they could try to sneak in the front door, or they could sleep outside. Every way they thought about sneaking inside the threat of being caught was especially large. it wasn't like they had an invisibility cloak to hide under, they would have to dodge Filch on their own.

"Fuck this," Zoro said as e stated up the stone castle, "Do you wanna just sleep in the bushes until the doors open?"

Sanji was already sagging with tiredness, "Sure."

They made their way over to some of the taller plants that decorated the quart yard and laid down. It was a lot more comfortable than either of them would have thought. Laying side by side, the two fell asleep.

When Sanji woke up it was early morning and there were people milling around the yard. Seeing this, he elbowed Zoro awake. They both rose from the bushes, Sanji dragging Zoro who refused to get up. They got a few strange looks up Sanji ignored them and went straight into the great hall, where people we starting to get breakfast.

None of their friends were in yet so Sanji took his seat to wait while Zoro put his head down an fell asleep.

"Where were you guys last night?" Luffy whined when he finally made it down to breakfast with Usopp. "Did you have an adventure without me?"

"We would never think of it," Sanji said, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Sanji, what happen to your forehead?" Luffy asked, tilting he head to look at the blond strangely. Sanji picked up a reflective plate and looked down at his reflection to find a nice circular bruise on his forehead. Zoro, having sensed someone making fun of Sanji, looked up and nearly peed himself laughing when he saw it. When he had recovered to the best of his ability he grabbed Sanji's face and kissed the bruise on his head, which earned him a swift shove from his seat. He continued to laugh just as hard on the ground.

XxxX

A/N: I know there's already a Harry Potter zosan story out there, but I couldn't help myself. Harry Potter is my childhood :) I think I just wanted to torched sanji.

I was terrified I wouldn't be able to update because my internet was down, but it's better now D: I can't remember if I edited this, so if there are a lot of mistakes that's why.

Poor Franky, defense against the dark arts is totally cursed :(

Thanks.