Title: Craig, the Valiant Defender of Underpants
Pairing: Craig/Tweek
Age: 8-9
"Oh, th-thank god you're here!" Tweek exclaimed. Craig was standing on his doorstep, looking confused and disgruntled.
"Why can't this wait til tomorrow? Red Racer is on," Craig grumbled.
"Th-this is WAY more important that Red Racer!" Tweek assured him, showing him in and leading him upstairs.
"So what exactly do you need my help with?" Craig asked, looking around Tweek's room expectantly.
"U-Underpants gnomes!" Tweek practically screamed. "Th-they're taking my u-underpants!"
"What?" Craig asked in a flat voice, not entirely sure if he had heard correctly.
"Th-they come at night and take my underpants! GAH! Soon I won't have any left!" Tweek was pretty much freaking out at this point. He was pulling his hair and twitching violently.
"Tweek that is the gayest, most retarded thing I've ever heard," Craig said, turning to go. "I'm going home to watch Red Racer."
"N-NO!" Tweek yelled, throwing himself down and grabbing hold of Craig's ankle. Despite being frail and kind of stunted from all the caffeine he drank, he had a strong grip. "D-don't go! I n-need your help!"
"Can't you take care of it yourself?"
"NO! It's t-too much pressure!" Craig looked down at his friend, who was rather pathetically lying on the ground, hanging on to his ankle. He sighed.
"How long is this going to take?" he asked, relenting.
"N-not long. I promise!" Tweek assured him.
"Okay, but then we have to watch Red Racer." Tweek nodded vigorously. "So what do I have to do?"
----
Craig spent the next two hours sitting on Tweek's bed, waiting for the underpants gnomes to come. He was pretty convinced that these underpants gnomes were just a figment of Tweeks over-caffinated imagination, but he decided it couldn't hurt to indulge his friend. (Although he really wished he could be watching Red Racer.) Tweek was frantically looking all around the room, as if he expected the underpants gnomes to appear any second.
"Tweek –" he began.
"Jesus Christ!" he cried, pointing at the door. "They're h-here!"
Craig whirled around. Sure enough, there was a troupe of gnomes, no more than eight inches tall, marching in single file, singing some strange song, heading straight for Tweek's dresser. Craig didn't even stop to think about how bizarre this whole experience was (he did live in South Park after all, so nothing seemed strange to him anymore).
"What are you doing?" he yelled at the gnomes. They stopped in their tracks and turned to face him.
"GAH!" Tweek cried, pulling blankets over himself.
"Collecting underpants of course," the leader supplied in a high-pitched voice.
"You can't!" Craig protested. "Those are Tweek's" (He had no idea why he was trying to argue rationally with gnomes, but he decided to try anyway.)
"How else are we going to make a profit?" the gnome asked. Craig flipped him off. The gnome flipped him off right back and continued marching towards the dresser. Craig was pissed off now. No one flips him off!
"Stay the hell away from those underpants!" he roared, grabbing a pillow off Tweek's bed. He jumped down and threw himself into the fight. He was swinging the pillow left and right, taking down the gnomes as they crossed his path. Tweek was watching him from under the blankets.
"Retreat! Retreat!" called the leader gnome frantically. The gnomes crawled away from the vicious pillow-wielding boy. Once the last one was gone, Craig dropped the pillow he had been holding.
"Jesus Christ!" Tweek exclaimed, dropping the blankets he had been huddling under. He looked up at Craig with a mixture of awe and reverence, his pale blue eyes wide as saucers. "Y-you're my hero!"
Craig was panting. He felt rather exhilarated. It wasn't every day that you kicked some underpants gnomes asses! He saw Tweek looking at him expectantly. Well, now that that was taken care of…
"Can we go watch Red Racer now?"
A/N: I absolutely adore this pairing. It's so cute! Please review! And if you have any suggestions or requests I would be more than happy to oblige.
