Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.

Chapter 3 The Last One

Eight. They had eight children and were forty before Katherine finally agreed (although very reluctantly) that he should get a vasectomy. He came home from St. Mungo's that evening to find three year old Lyra sleeping in their bed, but he didn't care. A few weeks ago, she had mastered using the toilet. He'd never have to change a nappy again.

"You aren't even a little disappointed?" Katherine pressed while snuggling up to Lyra and rested her chin on her pale blonde head. "I told her you had to go to the healer, and she tried to stay up to make sure you were okay."

"Nope." With a bright smile, Draco tossed his ice pack into the rubbish bin and practically jumped into bed. "This is the best day of my life."

As gently as she could, Katherine picked up a pillow and whacked him in the head with it. "No, it's not! You've loved every minute of it, you grumpy git!"

"For the past seventeen years, I felt like if I even looked at you the wrong way you got pregnant." Draco snatched the pillow out of her hands, put it over his own, and leaned against it, leaving her with none. "I thought you'd be squeezing them out until I died."

He expected a joke or for her to act offended and not talk to him for all of five minutes. Instead, she grinned evilly. If he wasn't mistaken, she looked a little triumphant too. Oh no…

"You should give that back," she said sweetly. "The healer said I need plenty of rest."

"Why?" he somehow managed to choke out. No. It wasn't possible. They were careful. She was on a monthly potion!

"I threw up this morning." She almost sounded proud of herself. "So I stopped by the healer's office while you were getting snipped. Guess what?"

"No." If he said it firmly enough, maybe she would see that the joke she was pulling was beyond cruel. Lyra sighed happily in her sleep and hugged her pillow.

Katherine smirked. "In seven months—"

"No," he repeated but she only laughed and kissed him. Great.


Seven months later

"Ready?" Draco asked worriedly. They had been up all night, and as usual, they were both nervous wrecks.

Katherine winced in pain but nodded. Just as she was trying to ease herself out of bed, little Lyra burst in. Draco was too anxious to reprimand her for not knocking.

"Mummy! I want oatmeal!" she yelled as if it were some sort of breakfast emergency. Before Draco could tell her to find his mother, she hopped into bed and crawled over to Katherine to shake her shoulder. "Mummy!"

"The house elves will have to make it," Katherine informed her breathlessly. Draco rolled his eyes when Lyra looked at her like she doomed her to starve. "Daddy and I are going to get your little brother."

"No! I want oatmeal!" she yelled. According to four year old logic, apparently one couldn't have a little brother and breakfast.

"Mum!" For once, it was summer, and James was up before noon. "Scorpius took my broom out again! He messed up the twigs!"

"I did not!" Scorpius yelled from a distance.

"Did too!"

Draco wanted to bang his head against the wall when Lily and Albus came in. At their little announcement, he wanted to rip his hair out.

"Mummy!" Lily squeaked excitedly.

Albus glanced at him and looked a little disgusted. "The cat's having kittens!"

"Does anyone care about my broom?" James demanded.

"No," six year old Minerva said as she walked into the room with a giant book. "Daddy. Read me a story!"

James scoffed at her. "That's an alchemy textbook, stupid!"

"Mummy!"

"Mum!"

"Daddy!"

When Mother whistled, Draco almost jumped a foot in the air along with the children. He hated to admit it, but she was the only one who could immediately stop their squabbling.

"We're going downstairs to settle everything in a proper manner." She put her hands on her hips as the children scrambled to run out the door. Only Lyra was brave enough to grumble to herself about her precious oatmeal. Mother smiled when Katherine doubled over and tried not to cry out in pain. "Good luck."


"I can't do it!" Katherine sobbed four hours later. The baby's head was crowning, but after being up for almost two days, she was exhausted.

Draco kissed her sweaty temple as she tried to push again but wound up slouching in exhaustion before the contraction was over. "Yes, you can."

"Shut up! I bet you think this is funny!" she screamed. "That's what Katherine gets! I wanted a vasectomy two years ago! Well, fifteen years ago!"

"And I'm glad I gave in to your whining and pouting." That earned him a glare, but she also managed to push a little harder than she was able to half a minute ago... She was going to kill him. "So yesterday," he started to lie, "I told Lily that she couldn't join the Holyhead Harpies because she's a terrible flier."

"You did WHAT?" Katherine shrieked. The healer smiled softly as she pushed again. It was working.

"And I told James we're kicking him out the moment he turns seventeen," he went on. He hissed out in pain when her nails dug into his hand. "And I put Albus's disgusting toad in the lake by the Manor the other day. He still can't find it."

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" she screamed just as they heard a high pitched wail.

Her eyes widened, and she froze just as he whispered in her ear, "Just kidding."


Now that the disgusting, blood and Merlin knew what else covered baby was in her arms, Katherine was all smiles and laughs as she cuddled him. Draco tried not to react when she put his slimy cheek to her own.

"Are you sure you're alright with Monty?" she asked happily as their son stopped crying.

Draco smiled softly and reached out to touch his tiny hand. After months of fighting, they settled on Fleamont Lucius Malfoy. Fleamont was her grandfather's name, and although Draco worried about children teasing him and accusing him of having fleas, he agreed to it if he could have the middle name Lucius.

"If he gets called Fleaboy, I'm letting him get it legally changed." Draco laughed as he gurgled and kicked his feet. "He's huge."

"I prefer the term big boned." Katherine kissed him and reluctantly gave him to the healer so he could be measured, weighed, and cleaned up. "I think he's at least ten pounds."

"Eleven!" One of the healers called out from the other side of the room.

"He's beautiful," Draco said when the healer finally handed him over about fifteen minutes later. Katherine leaned over and rubbed his arm when he started to tear up. "You're beautiful. Thank you for…"

"For not saying anything when Jamie stole my potion for his girlfriend?" Katherine finally admitted. "I should have realized something was off when it tasted liked watered down pumpkin juice."

Draco slowly turned his head away from the baby. She had to be joking. "Nice try, Katherine. I don't think James is that stupid."

No. James was that stupid. Katherine giggled and reached over to run her hand through Fleamont's thin hair. "I think he thinks we don't have sex, and that I was taking it so I wouldn't get my period."

"We have nine children," Draco said flatly, but Katherine only shrugged. He was going to kill that boy when they got home.

"I'm glad he did it." Her eyes twinkled when she asked, "Aren't you?"

Draco looked down at the squirming fat baby in his arms. He was probably going to be like Lyra and demand milk every hour during the night. And the more he ate meant the more nappies he made too. He smiled and kissed his forehead. "Yes. But I think I'll give you a little more credit than him."

Katherine hummed in agreement as he handed her their son. "Want to get the vasectomy reversed and make it an even ten?"

Draco leaned over and slowly kissed his wife and the mother of his children. There was a hopeful look in the lunatic's eyes as he pulled away. "Sorry. I'd rather claw my own eyes out."

Katherine halfheartedly pouted as Fleamont wrapped his tiny hand around her finger. "Hear that Monty? You're the last one." The baby whimpered in her arms, and she looked at Draco like it was his fault. "The last one."

Draco barely listened as Katherine kept trying to guilt him. She was childish, rude, and stubborn, but also the greatest mother his little monsters could ask for. He kept his feelings to himself, but it felt bittersweet that this was the last one. Maybe he would change his mind.

Happy Mother's Day everyone! I'll start on those requests after this week when I'm done with school! I just wanted to post something sweet and fluffy for Mother's Day.

Oh and if you aren't reading my other story, I don't mention their oldest two children because I haven't completely decided on their names yet. :P

Thank you to the reviewers Ern Estine 13624, cookyc, harryislife, and gr8rockstarrox!