Sometimes She Forgets
By Lil' Amethyst Angel

Sometimes River forgets who she used to be. The voices drown out her own and the visions overlap her memories. She tries to recall her mother's lullabies and the games she used to play and her favorite dress, but she can't. So she cries and begs for someone to find her like the lost child that she is. Then Simon comes and sings her to sleep. He plays jacks or go-fish with her. He tells her how pretty she looks in the dress she is wearing. She tells Simon she can't remember who she is and he laughs softly. He pets her hair and calls her a dummy and she remembers.

Sometimes River forgets how to talk. Other people don't hear, don't know, don't understand. She says things that go far beyond their knowledge. She answers questions no one knew they had asked with answers they can't begin to grasp. She talks and sometimes they'll listen, but they never seem to hear. Then the Captain looks at her, really looks. He smiles slightly, nods, and she knows he hears, and so she remembers.

Sometimes River forgets monsters aren't real. It's dark. She can see, but only what isn't there. Bad things hide in the dark and they come to get her when she's alone. She screams and waits for a savior. Then Simon comes and forces the darkness away. He makes hushing noises and wraps strong arms around her. Instead of being taken by monsters' cruel, grabbing claws, she is soothed by her brother's gentle fingers, and she remembers.

Sometimes River forgets that she's different. She plays with Kaylee and laughs with Wash. She helps Shepherd Book cook, avoiding going near Jayne with knives. She admires Inara's beautiful robes and Zoe's soft hair. She follows the Captain around Serenity, always managing to sneak up and startle him. She teases her big brother for countless reasons she is so easily provided. But then she cuts up Jayne or tosses around objects or screams about nonexistent evils. She scares Kaylee and angers the others. Then Simon has to make her go to sleep.

Sometimes River forgets, but she is always reminded.

A/N: Eh, this had started out as a happy-ish fic… but apparently I'm just not capable of that. Please excuse any excessive use of the Rule of Three (curse English class!), I really can't help it. And yes, I really like to use the word 'and'. Let's just call it technique…